You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The line graph shows the percentages of Australian export with four countries. The graph below shows the percentage of Australian exports to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012 You should write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The line graph shows the percentages of Australian export with four countries.
The graph below shows the percentage of Australian exports to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012

You should write at least 150 words.

The given line graph illustrates the proportion of exported goods from Australia to Japan, the US, China, and India between 1990 and 2012.

Overall, the amount of exports to China and India experienced an increase over the period, while the reverse is true for Japan and the US.

In 1990, around 27% of Australian goods, the largest proportion compared to other countries, was exported to Japan. This number decreased to exactly 20% over a 5-year period and eventually to around 18% of Australian exports in 2012. The figure for the US, after declining from 13% to 9% and then bouncing back to its original level in 2000, went down to approximately 7% at the end of the period.

Regarding China, the amount of Australian exports skyrocketed from 3% to the peak of exactly 30% over the surveyed period. This uptrend was also displayed in the numbers for India to a lesser extent, from 1% to 6% throughout the survey.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "the given line graph illustrates" -> "the provided line graph illustrates"
   Explanation: "Provided" is a more formal term than "given," which enhances the academic tone of the sentence.

2. "the amount of exports" -> "the volume of exports"
   Explanation: "Volume" is a more precise term in the context of trade and economics, conveying a clearer sense of quantity than "amount."

3. "experienced an increase" -> "demonstrated an upward trend"
   Explanation: "Demonstrated an upward trend" is more specific and formal than "experienced an increase," providing a clearer description of the data’s movement over time.

4. "the reverse is true for Japan and the US" -> "the opposite trend was observed for Japan and the US"
   Explanation: "The opposite trend was observed" is more precise and formal than "the reverse is true," enhancing clarity and academic tone.

5. "around 27% of Australian goods, the largest proportion compared to other countries, was exported to Japan" -> "approximately 27% of Australian goods, representing the largest proportion relative to other countries, were exported to Japan"
   Explanation: "Approximately" is more formal than "around," and "representing" clarifies the relationship between the percentage and the context. Additionally, "were" is used instead of "was" for grammatical agreement with the plural subject "goods."

6. "decreased to exactly 20% over a 5-year period" -> "decreased to precisely 20% over a five-year period"
   Explanation: "Precisely" is a more formal alternative to "exactly," and "five-year" is written out for consistency with academic writing conventions.

7. "bouncing back to its original level" -> "recovering to its initial level"
   Explanation: "Recovering" is a more formal and precise term than "bouncing back," which is too informal for academic writing.

8. "went down to approximately 7% at the end of the period" -> "declined to approximately 7% by the end of the period"
   Explanation: "Declined" is a more formal and precise verb than "went down," enhancing the academic tone.

9. "the amount of Australian exports skyrocketed" -> "the volume of Australian exports surged"
   Explanation: "Surged" is a more formal and precise term than "skyrocketed," which is overly informal for an academic context.

10. "to the peak of exactly 30%" -> "reaching a peak of precisely 30%"
    Explanation: "Reaching a

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation: The essay provides a clear overview of the main trends in the data, highlighting the key features of the graph. The essay also presents a clear overview of the main trends, differences or stages. The essay could be more fully extended by providing more specific details about the changes in the data.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more specific details about the changes in the data. For example, the essay could state that the percentage of Australian exports to Japan decreased by 7% between 1990 and 1995. The essay could also provide more specific details about the reasons for the changes in the data. For example, the essay could mention that the increase in Australian exports to China was due to the growth of the Chinese economy.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay logically organizes information and ideas, presenting a clear progression throughout the response. The introduction effectively sets the context, and the overview succinctly summarizes the main trends. Each paragraph presents a clear central topic, with specific details supporting the claims made. The use of cohesive devices is appropriate, although there are moments where the transitions could be smoother, indicating a slight under-use in some areas. Overall, the essay meets the criteria for Band 7 by demonstrating a good level of coherence and cohesion.

How to improve: To enhance the score, the writer could focus on using a wider range of cohesive devices to improve the flow between sentences and ideas. Additionally, ensuring that all paragraphs are logically structured and that transitions between different sections of the essay are more seamless would elevate the coherence. Finally, varying sentence structures could also contribute to a more engaging and cohesive writing style.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary that allows for some flexibility and precision in conveying the information presented in the graph. The use of terms such as "illustrates," "proportion," "experienced an increase," and "skyrocketed" indicates an awareness of less common lexical items. However, there are occasional inaccuracies in word choice, such as "bouncing back to its original level," which may not be the most precise way to describe the fluctuations in exports. Additionally, while the essay is generally clear, there are minor errors in phrasing that could be improved for greater clarity and sophistication.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer could incorporate a wider variety of synonyms and more sophisticated vocabulary. For example, instead of "the amount of exports," they could use "the volume of exports" or "the value of exports." Furthermore, ensuring that all word choices are precise and contextually appropriate would help to minimize inaccuracies. Finally, reducing repetitive phrases and varying sentence structures could contribute to a more engaging and polished essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a variety of complex sentence structures and produces frequent error-free sentences, which aligns well with the criteria for Band 7. The writer shows good control of grammar and punctuation, with only a few minor errors that do not significantly impede understanding. For example, the phrase "the largest proportion compared to other countries" is clear, but could be more concisely expressed. Overall, the grammatical range is adequate, and the majority of sentences are constructed correctly.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer could focus on increasing the complexity of sentence structures and ensuring that all sentences are error-free. Incorporating a wider range of grammatical forms, such as conditional sentences or more varied conjunctions, would enhance the overall quality. Additionally, proofreading for minor errors and refining awkward phrasing would contribute to a more polished essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

The given line graph illustrates the proportion of exported goods from Australia to Japan, the US, China, and India between 1990 and 2012.

Overall, the percentage of exports to China and India experienced an increase over the period, while the opposite trend was observed for Japan and the US.

In 1990, approximately 27% of Australian goods, the largest proportion compared to other countries, were exported to Japan. This figure decreased to exactly 20% over a five-year period and eventually fell to around 18% of Australian exports by 2012. The percentage for the US declined from 13% to 9%, then rebounded to its original level in 2000, before dropping to approximately 7% at the end of the period.

In contrast, the amount of Australian exports to China skyrocketed from 3% to a peak of exactly 30% over the surveyed period. This upward trend was also evident in the figures for India, which increased from 1% to 6% throughout the survey.