Some people think news has no connection to people’s lives. So then it is a waste of time to read the newspaper and watch television news programs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people argued that there is no connection between news and people’s lives; thus, reading the newspaper and watching television news programs are pointless. I completely disagree with this point of view.

In my opinion, it is absurd to argue that news has no connection to people’s lives. I believe that news is created from the needs of humans which is being informed about events that happen daily in the world. Therefore, news connects deeply with individuals’ lives. Furthermore, news plays a significant role in connecting citizens from different countries. More specifically, Aa person from one country is able to know what happens to the life of another that is far away. As a result, people do not feel detached and have more empathy towards each other.

I also disagree with the idea that it is a waste of time to read the newspaper and watch television news programs. First and foremost, these activities provide educational value. News content often covers a wide range of topics such as: politics, science, arts,… It contributes to the viewers and readers’ intellectual growth. For instance, a kid that often watches the news programs on television tends to be knowledgeable in a broader range of subjects compared to their peers. Moreover, people can be aware of emergency situations and have proper preparation. Social distancing during COVID19 pandemic perfectly exemplifies this. When we practiced social distancing, the only source of information about the pandemic seemed to be from news. Hence, watching television programs or reading newspapers was a must to keep us updated about the disease and prepare for any worse situations.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that news is crucial to everyone’s life. Therefore, it is advisable that we should make reading newspapers or watching television news programs a daily task.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"Many people argued that there is no connection between news and people’s lives; thus, reading the newspaper and watching television news programs are pointless." -> "Numerous individuals have argued that there is no substantial connection between news and people’s lives; hence, engaging with newspapers and television news programs is considered pointless."
Explanation: Replacing "Many people" with "Numerous individuals" adds a formal touch to the statement, and changing "are" to "is considered" aligns with the formal tone while expressing a common viewpoint.
"In my opinion, it is absurd to argue that news has no connection to people’s lives." -> "From my perspective, asserting that news lacks any connection to people’s lives is unfounded."
Explanation: Substituting "In my opinion" with "From my perspective" maintains formality, and replacing "it is absurd to argue" with "asserting…is unfounded" enhances the precision and formality of the expression.
"I believe that news is created from the needs of humans which is being informed about events that happen daily in the world." -> "I posit that news arises from the human necessity to stay informed about daily events worldwide."
Explanation: The suggested changes improve the sentence’s formality by using "posit" instead of "believe" and rephrasing to create a more precise and academically appropriate expression.
"Furthermore, news plays a significant role in connecting citizens from different countries. More specifically, Aa person from one country is able to know what happens to the life of another that is far away." -> "Moreover, news plays a pivotal role in fostering connections among citizens from diverse countries. Specifically, an individual from one country can gain insights into the lives of those residing far away."
Explanation: "Furthermore" is replaced with "Moreover" for a more formal transition, and "significant role" is changed to "pivotal role" for precision. The second sentence is refined for clarity and formality.
"As a result, people do not feel detached and have more empathy towards each other." -> "Consequently, individuals do not experience detachment and cultivate greater empathy for one another."
Explanation: Replacing "As a result" with "Consequently" maintains formality, and the rephrased statement enhances precision and clarity.
"I also disagree with the idea that it is a waste of time to read the newspaper and watch television news programs." -> "I also contest the notion that investing time in reading newspapers and watching television news programs is futile."
Explanation: Substituting "disagree" with "contest" adds formality, and using "notion" instead of "idea" contributes to a more academically appropriate expression.
"First and foremost, these activities provide educational value." -> "Primarily, these activities offer educational benefits."
Explanation: Replacing "First and foremost" with "Primarily" maintains formality, and the change from "provide educational value" to "offer educational benefits" is more precise.
"News content often covers a wide range of topics such as: politics, science, arts,…" -> "News content frequently encompasses a broad spectrum of topics, including politics, science, arts, and more."
Explanation: The suggested changes enhance formality by replacing "often" with "frequently" and restructuring the sentence for better flow.
"It contributes to the viewers and readers’ intellectual growth." -> "It contributes to the intellectual growth of viewers and readers."
Explanation: The revised sentence streamlines the expression while maintaining formality and clarity.
"For instance, a kid that often watches the news programs on television tends to be knowledgeable in a broader range of subjects compared to their peers." -> "For instance, a child who regularly watches news programs on television is likely to possess a broader knowledge base than their peers."
Explanation: "Kid" is replaced with "child" for formality, and the sentence is refined for better structure and precision.
"Moreover, people can be aware of emergency situations and have proper preparation." -> "Furthermore, individuals can stay informed about emergency situations and make adequate preparations."
Explanation: The suggested changes enhance formality and precision in expressing the idea.
"Social distancing during COVID19 pandemic perfectly exemplifies this." -> "The practice of social distancing during the COVID-19 pandemic serves as a perfect illustration of this phenomenon."
Explanation: The revision adds formality and clarity to the sentence, specifying the context of the COVID-19 pandemic.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that news is crucial to everyone’s life. Therefore, it is advisable that we should make reading newspapers or watching television news programs a daily task.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses all parts of the prompt. It acknowledges the argument that some people think news is disconnected from daily life and expresses a strong disagreement. The response provides a clear standpoint and maintains this throughout the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance comprehensiveness, consider providing a brief counterargument to demonstrate a nuanced understanding of the opposing view. This can further strengthen the essay’s overall argumentative structure.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout by expressing a strong disagreement with the idea that news is disconnected from people’s lives. Each paragraph reinforces and supports this stance.
- How to improve: To further enhance clarity, ensure that topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph explicitly tie back to the main argument. This will help readers follow the essay’s progression more smoothly.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents and supports ideas well. It articulates the connection between news and individuals’ lives, emphasizes the role of news in connecting people globally, and provides specific examples to support these claims.
- How to improve: To further extend ideas, consider providing more varied examples or exploring counterarguments and refuting them. This will add depth to the analysis and showcase a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay largely stays on topic, consistently discussing the connection between news and individuals’ lives. However, there are moments where the focus could be sharper.
- How to improve: Be cautious not to drift into tangential discussions. Ensure that every sentence directly contributes to the main argument. For instance, the mention of social distancing during COVID-19, while relevant, could be more tightly connected to the main thesis.

In conclusion, this essay effectively responds to the prompt, presenting a well-argued position with adequate support. To improve, the writer could consider incorporating a brief counterargument, refining topic sentences for enhanced clarity, expanding examples to further extend ideas, and ensuring every detail directly contributes to the central argument.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a generally logical organization of information. The introduction sets the stage by presenting the opposing view, followed by a clear expression of the writer’s disagreement. The body paragraphs elaborate on the writer’s viewpoint, providing examples and reasons. The conclusion effectively summarizes the argument. However, there is room for improvement in the connection between some ideas. For instance, the transition between discussing the global connection through news and the educational value of news could be smoother.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, work on seamless transitions between ideas. Consider using transitional phrases or sentences to guide the reader through the progression of your argument more smoothly. For example, a transitional phrase like "Moreover" or "In addition" can help connect the discussion about global connections and the educational value of news.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to structure the content. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument, and the ideas within paragraphs are logically organized. However, the third paragraph is quite lengthy and covers multiple subpoints. Breaking it into smaller paragraphs could improve readability and make each point stand out more.
- How to improve: Consider breaking down the third paragraph into smaller, more focused paragraphs. Each paragraph can then address a specific subtopic related to the educational value of news. This not only enhances readability but also allows for a clearer presentation of ideas.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a range of cohesive devices, including transitional words and phrases (e.g., "Furthermore," "First and foremost," "Moreover," "In conclusion"). These help signal the relationships between ideas and enhance the overall coherence of the essay. However, there is room for improvement in the variety of cohesive devices used. While some are used effectively, others are repeated quite frequently.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, explore a wider range of transition words and phrases. This can include synonyms for commonly used ones. Additionally, consider using cohesive devices within paragraphs to strengthen the internal coherence of each section. For instance, use pronouns or referencing words to connect sentences more explicitly within a paragraph.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid grasp of coherence and cohesion, refining transitions, paragraph structure, and the variety of cohesive devices used can further elevate the organization of ideas.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderately wide range of vocabulary. There is some variety in word choice, and the writer attempts to use different expressions. For example, the essay employs words such as "absurd," "detached," and "empathy." However, there is room for improvement in diversifying vocabulary further, particularly in the use of synonyms and more nuanced expressions.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, consider exploring synonyms for commonly used words. For instance, instead of frequently using "news," try incorporating alternatives like "information," "reports," or "media." Additionally, delve into more specific vocabulary related to the essay’s context, such as different types of news (e.g., current affairs, headlines, breaking news) to add depth to your expression.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary with moderate precision. However, there are instances where more precise word choices could be employed. For example, the use of "absurd" may be considered a bit strong, and a more measured term could better convey the opposing viewpoint without sounding dismissive.
- How to improve: Aim for a balance in your choice of words. Instead of absolute terms like "absurd," consider phrases such as "I find it difficult to agree with this viewpoint." Use adjectives and adverbs that accurately reflect the intensity of your stance. Precision is crucial in ensuring that your language conveys the intended meaning without unnecessary exaggeration.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a generally high level of spelling accuracy. There are only a few minor issues, such as the misspelling of "Aa" in "Aa person" and a missing space in "Furthermore, Aa person." These instances, while not pervasive, slightly affect the overall spelling accuracy.
- How to improve: Proofread your work thoroughly to catch and rectify minor spelling errors. Utilize spelling and grammar checking tools to identify potential issues. Pay close attention to spaces between words and ensure consistency in capitalization. Developing a habit of reviewing your writing before submission can significantly enhance the overall spelling accuracy.

In conclusion, while the essay demonstrates a commendable level of language proficiency, there is room for refinement in vocabulary range, precision, and minor spelling aspects. By incorporating varied and precise vocabulary choices and ensuring meticulous proofreading, you can elevate the lexical quality of your essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonably wide range of sentence structures, including complex sentences and compound-complex structures. For instance, the essay employs a mix of simple and complex sentences, such as "Many people argued…" and "In my opinion, it is absurd to argue…". There is also effective use of subordination, as seen in "News content often covers a wide range of topics such as: politics, science, arts,…"
- How to improve: While the essay exhibits a good variety of sentence structures, incorporating more complex sentence structures and varied sentence beginnings could further enhance the overall fluency and sophistication of the writing. Consider experimenting with different sentence types, such as rhetorical questions, parallelism, and conditional sentences, to add depth to the expression.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains accurate grammar and punctuation throughout. There are, however, a few instances that could be refined for better clarity. For example, in the sentence "More specifically, Aa person from one country is able to know what happens to the life of another that is far away," there is a typographical error with the repetition of the letter ‘A.’ Additionally, the phrase "Aa person" should be revised for proper grammatical structure.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, it’s crucial to carefully proofread the essay to catch typographical errors. Also, attention to subject-verb agreement and consistent article usage can further enhance grammatical precision. For instance, in the sentence "News is created from the needs of humans which is being informed about events," the phrase "which is being informed about events" could be revised for clarity, perhaps by separating it into a new sentence or restructuring it.

In summary, while the essay is strong in grammatical range and accuracy, there is room for improvement in refining sentence structures for greater variety and addressing minor grammatical issues to elevate the overall quality of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

Numerous individuals have argued that there is no substantial connection between news and people’s lives; hence, engaging with newspapers and television news programs is considered pointless. From my perspective, asserting that news lacks any connection to people’s lives is unfounded. I posit that news arises from the human necessity to stay informed about daily events worldwide. Moreover, news plays a pivotal role in fostering connections among citizens from diverse countries. Specifically, an individual from one country can gain insights into the lives of those residing far away. Consequently, individuals do not experience detachment and cultivate greater empathy for one another.

I also contest the notion that investing time in reading newspapers and watching television news programs is futile. Primarily, these activities offer educational benefits. News content frequently encompasses a broad spectrum of topics, including politics, science, arts, and more. It contributes to the intellectual growth of viewers and readers. For instance, a child who regularly watches news programs on television is likely to possess a broader knowledge base than their peers. Furthermore, individuals can stay informed about emergency situations and make adequate preparations. The practice of social distancing during the COVID-19 pandemic serves as a perfect illustration of this phenomenon.

Some people think news has no connection to people’s lives. So then it is a waste of time to read the newspaper and watch television news programs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In my opinion, it is absurd to argue that news has no connection to people’s lives. I believe that news is created from the needs of humans which is being informed about events that happen daily in the world. Therefore, news connects deeply with individuals’ lives. Furthermore, news plays a significant role in connecting citizens from different countries. More specifically, a person from one country is able to know what happens to the life of another that is far away. As a result, people do not feel detached and have more empathy towards each other.

I also disagree with the idea that it is a waste of time to read the newspaper and watch television news programs. First and foremost, these activities provide educational value. News content often covers a wide range of topics such as politics, science, arts, and more. It contributes to the viewers and readers’ intellectual growth. For instance, a kid that often watches the news programs on television tends to be knowledgeable in a broader range of subjects compared to their peers. Moreover, people can be aware of emergency situations and have proper preparation. Social distancing during the COVID-19 pandemic perfectly exemplifies this. When we practiced social distancing, the only source of information about the pandemic seemed to be from news. Hence, watching television programs or reading newspapers was a must to keep us updated about the disease and prepare for any worse situations.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that news is crucial to everyone’s life. Therefore, it is advisable that we should make reading newspapers or watching television news programs a daily task.