Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words. “Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or storage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views, and give your own opinion.”

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.

"Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or storage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views, and give your own opinion."

Nowaday, there are two contrasting views about how to sovle or face to the tought situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Some people argee with accept a bad situaton, the other argues that it is better to try and find the way to improve or solve such situations. In my opinion, it is more plausible to accept something that we can not do.

Acceptance of situation that cannot be changed can help us concentrate on the things which we have ability to do. When we certainly aware of someting that is difficult that lead us to find the way to it. Exxample, when have unsatisfactory job, we tend to find another instead of percepting that we have a job and this job help us meet living standard. Others argue that is better to try and improve howerer all of us always want everything so we can feel stress and depress when some thing that we desire can not be carried out. Futhermore, We only have happiness when we feel that we have sufficient and do not need to find something else to satisfy our demand or contemporary desire.

On the other hand

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

1. "Nowaday" -> "Nowadays"
   Explanation: "Nowadays" is the correct and more formal term to use to indicate the current time or period.

2. "how to sovle" -> "how to solve"
   Explanation: Correcting the spelling error in "sovle" to "solve" ensures accuracy and maintains a formal tone.

3. "accept a bad situaton" -> "accept an undesirable situation"
   Explanation: Replacing "bad situation" with "undesirable situation" adds specificity and elevates the formality of the expression.

4. "In my opinion, it is more plausible to accept something that we can not do." -> "In my opinion, it is more pragmatic to accept situations beyond our control."
   Explanation: Replacing "plausible" with "pragmatic" enhances the precision of the statement, and it is more academically appropriate. Additionally, using "beyond our control" provides a clearer description.

5. "When we certainly aware of someting that is difficult that lead us to find the way to it." -> "When we are consciously aware of challenging situations, it prompts us to seek solutions."
   Explanation: Correcting the grammar and restructuring the sentence for clarity and formality.

6. "Exxample" -> "For example"
   Explanation: Correcting the spelling error "Exxample" to "For example" maintains formality and readability.

7. "percepting" -> "perceiving"
   Explanation: Replacing "percepting" with "perceiving" ensures the use of a more precise and formal term.

8. "improve howerer" -> "improve; however,"
   Explanation: Adding a semicolon and correcting the spelling error in "howerer" to "however" enhances the structure and formality of the sentence.

9. "we always want everything" -> "we often desire various things"
   Explanation: Substituting "always want everything" with "often desire various things" conveys a more nuanced expression and avoids absolute language.

10. "stress and depress" -> "experience stress and depression"
    Explanation: Using "experience stress and depression" instead of "stress and depress" provides a more formal and accurate description of emotional states.

11. "some thing" -> "something"
    Explanation: Correcting the space between "some" and "thing" to "something" ensures proper spelling and maintains formality.

12. "carried out" -> "achieved"
    Explanation: Replacing "carried out" with "achieved" adds precision and formality to the statement.

Note: The essay contains multiple grammatical and structural issues, and the suggested improvements address some of the more prominent errors. However, a comprehensive revision would involve additional corrections for clarity and coherence.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay partially addresses the prompt by discussing both views on dealing with challenging situations—acceptance and improvement. However, the explanation lacks depth and clarity. There is an attempt to present the idea that accepting a situation allows focus on achievable tasks, but it lacks elaboration. The essay does not sufficiently explore the benefits or drawbacks of trying to improve difficult situations.
  • How to improve: To enhance this aspect, the writer should provide more detailed examples and reasoning for both perspectives. A more thorough exploration of the implications of accepting or trying to improve situations would improve the completeness of the response.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay somewhat presents a clear position by suggesting that it is more plausible to accept situations that cannot be changed. However, the clarity is compromised by weak language and lack of supporting arguments. The position could be more strongly articulated.
  • How to improve: Strengthen the stance by using clearer language and providing more robust supporting points. Consider incorporating specific examples or scenarios to bolster the argument and make the position more evident and convincing.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The presentation of ideas is weak, with minimal elaboration and development. The essay lacks depth in supporting the presented perspectives. For instance, the point about concentrating on achievable tasks when accepting a situation is made but not extended or supported adequately.
  • How to improve: To improve this aspect, the writer should extend each idea by providing more examples, details, and explanations. Each viewpoint should be thoroughly explored and substantiated with relevant evidence, making the essay more convincing and insightful.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay struggles to stay on topic. There are instances of unclear expression and incomplete thoughts, such as "On the other hand," without continuation. These lapses affect the overall coherence and relevance of the essay.
  • How to improve: Focus on maintaining a clear and coherent structure. Avoid abrupt transitions or incomplete thoughts. Ensure that each paragraph contributes meaningfully to the overall argument, enhancing the essay’s relevance and coherence.

In summary, while the essay attempts to address the prompt, it falls short in providing a comprehensive analysis of both views and lacks depth in supporting ideas. Strengthening the clarity of the position, extending and supporting ideas, and improving overall coherence will enhance the essay’s effectiveness.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 3

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 3

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay lacks a clear and logical organization. The introduction is unclear, and there’s an abrupt transition in the middle of a sentence ("On the other hand") without completing the thought. The progression of ideas is inconsistent, making it challenging for the reader to follow the argument.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, start with a clear introduction that introduces the topic and presents a thesis statement. Follow a structured format for body paragraphs, each focusing on a specific aspect or argument. Ensure a smooth flow of ideas by using transition words and phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay lacks effective paragraphing. The division between paragraphs is unclear, leading to a lack of coherence. The abrupt shift in the middle of a sentence disrupts the paragraph structure.
  • How to improve: Clearly separate ideas into distinct paragraphs. Begin a new paragraph when introducing a new point or supporting a different aspect of the argument. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence, supporting details, and a concluding sentence. This will improve the overall structure and readability of the essay.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay lacks a variety of cohesive devices. Transition words and phrases are sparingly used, leading to a disjointed and choppy text. This affects the overall flow and coherence of the essay.
  • How to improve: Incorporate a diverse range of cohesive devices, such as conjunctions, transition words, and pronouns, to connect ideas and create a smoother flow. Use words like "however," "furthermore," and "on the other hand" appropriately to signal shifts between contrasting points. This will improve the overall cohesion and make the essay more cohesive and easier to follow.

Overall, to improve coherence and cohesion, focus on clear organization, effective paragraphing, and the strategic use of cohesive devices. Ensure a smooth and logical progression of ideas, making it easier for the reader to navigate through the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. While there is an attempt to use diverse words, there is a tendency to rely on basic vocabulary and repetitive expressions. For instance, the frequent use of the word "job" and limited synonyms affects the variety score. Additionally, some sentences lack complexity, and the vocabulary does not consistently enhance the overall quality of expression.
  • How to improve: To improve the range of vocabulary, consider incorporating more advanced and varied synonyms for common words. Utilize more complex sentence structures to showcase a higher level of lexical proficiency. For example, instead of repeatedly using "job," explore alternatives like "employment," "occupation," or "profession."

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The precision of vocabulary usage varies throughout the essay. In some instances, the writer effectively conveys ideas with clarity, but there are moments of imprecise word choices or vague expressions. For instance, the phrase "percepting that we have a job" could be more precisely articulated, and the term "contemporary desire" lacks clarity.
  • How to improve: Aim for greater precision by carefully selecting words that accurately convey your intended meaning. Avoid vague expressions and focus on clarity. For instance, instead of "percepting," consider using "recognizing" or "acknowledging." Replace "contemporary desire" with a more specific term that aligns with the context, such as "current aspirations" or "immediate wants."

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits some issues with spelling accuracy. For example, "sovlve" should be "solve," "argee" should be "argue," and "exxample" should be "example." These spelling errors, while not pervasive, impact the overall presentation and readability.
  • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, proofread your essay carefully. Consider using spelling and grammar checking tools to catch and correct errors. Additionally, pay close attention to common spelling patterns, especially for frequently used words. Developing a habit of reviewing your work before submission will contribute to improved spelling precision.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay displays a limited range of sentence structures. The predominant structure consists of simple sentences, often with basic subject-verb-object constructions. Complex and compound sentences are infrequently used, and there is a lack of variety in sentence length and structure. This limits the expressiveness of the essay and affects its overall coherence.
  • How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and overall effectiveness of the essay, consider incorporating a variety of sentence structures. Introduce complex sentences with subordinate clauses and utilize compound sentences to convey ideas more intricately. This can be achieved by combining related ideas or using conjunctions to create more sophisticated connections between thoughts.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits several grammatical errors and punctuation inaccuracies. For instance, there are spelling mistakes, such as "sovlve" instead of "solve," "argee" instead of "argue," and "someting" instead of "something." Additionally, there are instances of incorrect verb conjugation, such as "percepting" instead of "perceiving." Punctuation marks are often misused, affecting the clarity of the sentences.
  • How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, it is essential to review and revise the essay carefully. Pay close attention to verb conjugations, spellings, and punctuation marks. Consider using writing tools like spell-check and grammar-check to identify and rectify errors. Additionally, proofread the essay multiple times to catch any mistakes that automated tools might miss. Improving these aspects will contribute to a more polished and accurate piece of writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

Nowadays, there are two contrasting views about how to solve or face tough situations, such as an unsatisfactory job or a shortage of money. Some people argue for accepting a bad situation, while others believe it is better to try and find a way to improve or solve such situations. In my opinion, it is more pragmatic to accept something that we cannot change.

Acceptance of situations that cannot be changed can help us concentrate on things we have the ability to do. When we are consciously aware of something difficult, it prompts us to find a way to deal with it. For example, when faced with an unsatisfactory job, we tend to seek another one instead of perceiving that we already have a job that helps us meet our living standards. Others argue that it is better to try and improve; however, we often desire various things, leading to stress and depression when some desires cannot be achieved. Furthermore, we only experience true happiness when we feel content and do not constantly seek something else to satisfy our demands or contemporary desires.

On the other hand, accepting an undesirable situation does not mean complacency; it means acknowledging the reality of the situation and focusing on what we can control. This, in turn, can lead to a more positive and constructive approach to life’s challenges. In conclusion, while trying to improve situations is important, accepting what cannot be changed is equally crucial for our overall well-being.