In many countries, plastic containers have become more common than ever and are used by many food and drink companies. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries, plastic containers have become more common than ever and are used by many food and drink companies. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In the contemporary world, the use of plastic containers belonging to food and drink companies have become widespread. This phenomena has both pros and cons, which is obviously shown that the positive effects outweigh its drawbacks.

On one hand, plastic equipment has a massive advantage for the consumers and sellers.Primarily, it brings convenience and flexibility for users. Plastic containers have suitable features for using in different positions such as various in shape and size, transfering easily, and matching with a wide range of products make its role become crucial and unchangeable for food and drinks companies. Furthermore, cost-effectiveness is another factor contribute to the common of plastics materials for food and drink salers.Plastic containers are affordable to mass production , which are not available to glass and metal, lead to being more attractive for companies when packaging can still safety and maintaining product

On the other hand, the work of progressing plastic affects the environment seriously. Plastic containers, such as plastic bags and plastic straw, account for a high ratio of soil and water pollution. To what extend, plastics equipments need at least hundreds years to fully decompose and being inadequate to recycle lead to tonnes of plastic spread out oceans, forests and other ecosystems.This pollution harms wildlife, marine life, impacting not only individuals but also other living creature

To sum up, food and drink companies take plastic containers for granted because of appropriation in numerous cases. In my point of view, plastic containers have a special role that cannot be replaced by other materials despite impacting badly on the environment.


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Errors and Improvements:

  1. "the use of plastic containers belonging to food and drink companies have become" -> "the use of plastic containers by food and beverage companies has become"
    Explanation: The original phrase is awkwardly constructed and grammatically incorrect. The revised version is more direct and corrects the subject-verb agreement ("has become").

  2. "This phenomena" -> "This phenomenon"
    Explanation: "Phenomena" is the plural form of "phenomenon." The singular "phenomenon" is the correct term to use here as it refers to the singular subject of the use of plastic containers.

  3. "which is obviously shown that" -> "which evidently demonstrates that"
    Explanation: "Which is obviously shown that" is awkward and not academically formal. "Which evidently demonstrates that" is more precise and appropriate for academic writing.

  4. "plastic equipment" -> "plastic packaging"
    Explanation: "Plastic equipment" is too broad and could imply machinery. "Plastic packaging" is specific and directly relates to the context of food and beverage containers.

  5. "for using in different positions" -> "for use in various contexts"
    Explanation: "For using in different positions" is awkward and unclear. "For use in various contexts" is more precise and appropriate for formal writing.

  6. "transfering" -> "transferring"
    Explanation: This is a simple spelling correction.

  7. "cost-effectiveness is another factor contribute to the common of plastics materials" -> "cost-effectiveness is another factor contributing to the prevalence of plastic materials"
    Explanation: The original sentence is grammatically incorrect and awkward. The revised version corrects these issues and uses "prevalence" to more accurately describe the widespread use of plastic.

  8. "safety and maintaining product" -> "safety while maintaining the product’s integrity"
    Explanation: The original phrase is incomplete and unclear. The revised version provides clarity and completeness to the statement.

  9. "the work of progressing plastic" -> "the production of plastic"
    Explanation: "The work of progressing plastic" is unclear and awkward. "The production of plastic" is a clearer and more direct way to describe the process.

  10. "To what extend" -> "To what extent"
    Explanation: This is a simple spelling correction to use the correct phrase.

  11. "plastics equipments" -> "plastic equipment"
    Explanation: "Plastics equipments" is grammatically incorrect. "Plastic equipment" is the correct form, though "plastic waste" or "plastic products" might be more contextually accurate.

  12. "being inadequate to recycle" -> "being difficult to recycle"
    Explanation: "Being inadequate to recycle" is awkward and unclear. "Being difficult to recycle" is more direct and understandable.

  13. "tonnes of plastic spread out oceans" -> "tonnes of plastic dispersed across oceans"
    Explanation: "Spread out oceans" is awkward and incorrect. "Dispersed across oceans" is more precise and appropriate for academic writing.

  14. "impacting not only individuals but also other living creature" -> "impacting not only humans but also other living creatures"
    Explanation: "Individuals" is vague in this context; "humans" is more specific. Also, "creature" should be plural to match the plural context.

  15. "take plastic containers for granted because of appropriation in numerous cases" -> "rely on plastic containers due to their versatility in numerous applications"
    Explanation: "Take for granted because of appropriation" is awkward and unclear. "Rely on…due to their versatility" is clearer and more formal.

  16. "despite impacting badly on the environment" -> "despite their detrimental impact on the environment"
    Explanation: "Impacting badly on" is informal and lacks precision. "Their detrimental impact on" is more formal and clearly conveys the negative effects.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of using plastic containers in the food and drink industry. It acknowledges the convenience and cost-effectiveness of plastic containers while also highlighting the environmental issues associated with their use.
    • How to improve: To improve, ensure that each aspect of the prompt is thoroughly explored. While the essay mentions advantages and disadvantages, it could delve deeper into the specific benefits and drawbacks, providing more nuanced analysis.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay takes a clear stance that the advantages of using plastic containers outweigh the disadvantages. This position is evident from the introductory paragraph and is maintained throughout the essay.
    • How to improve: While maintaining a clear position is important, consider acknowledging counterarguments to strengthen the argument. This can demonstrate a more balanced and thoughtful approach to the topic.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas regarding the advantages and disadvantages of plastic containers. However, some ideas lack development and thorough explanation. For example, while it mentions the environmental impact, more specific examples or data could enhance the argument.
    • How to improve: Extend ideas by providing specific examples, statistics, or case studies to support the points made. This will add depth to the argument and make it more compelling.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic by discussing the use of plastic containers in the food and drink industry and their associated advantages and disadvantages. However, there are instances where the focus could be sharper.
    • How to improve: Ensure that each paragraph directly relates to the main topic of plastic containers in the food and drink industry. Avoid tangential discussions that detract from the central argument.

Overall, while the essay effectively addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position, there is room for improvement in terms of depth of analysis and focus. By providing more detailed explanations, supporting ideas with evidence, and maintaining a sharper focus on the topic, the essay could enhance its coherence and persuasiveness.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a basic level of logical organization. It begins with an introduction that outlines both sides of the argument and concludes with a clear opinion. However, the body paragraphs lack clear topic sentences, making it somewhat challenging for readers to follow the development of ideas. For instance, the first body paragraph discusses the advantages of plastic containers, but the ideas are somewhat scattered and lack clear transitions between them.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, it’s essential to have a clear structure within each paragraph. Start each body paragraph with a topic sentence that introduces the main idea to be discussed. Then, provide supporting points and examples in a coherent manner. Additionally, ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to facilitate the flow of ideas throughout the essay.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs, but their effectiveness is limited. Each paragraph attempts to focus on a specific aspect of the argument; however, the lack of clear topic sentences and transitions between paragraphs results in a disjointed flow of ideas. Additionally, some paragraphs contain multiple ideas without clear separation, which can confuse the reader.
    • How to improve: Focus on developing well-structured paragraphs that each address a single main idea related to the argument. Begin each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that indicates the focus of the paragraph. Ensure that each paragraph contains supporting details and examples that directly relate to the topic sentence. Use transitions between paragraphs to create a smooth progression of ideas and maintain coherence throughout the essay.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to use cohesive devices to connect ideas; however, the use is limited and repetitive. Cohesive devices such as "on one hand" and "on the other hand" are used to introduce contrasting points, but they are overused and lack variety. Additionally, there is a need for more diverse cohesive devices to create smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs.
    • How to improve: Expand the range of cohesive devices used throughout the essay to create stronger connections between ideas. Instead of relying solely on phrases like "on one hand" and "on the other hand," consider using a variety of transitional words and phrases such as "moreover," "furthermore," "however," and "conversely." Additionally, ensure that cohesive devices are used appropriately to maintain coherence and clarity in the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. There are some instances of varied word choice, such as "phenomena," "cost-effectiveness," and "appropriation." However, there is room for improvement in utilizing a broader spectrum of vocabulary to enhance expression and precision.
    • How to improve: To improve the lexical resource score, the writer should aim to incorporate more diverse and nuanced vocabulary throughout the essay. Synonyms or alternative phrases can be employed to avoid repetition and add depth to the arguments presented. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "plastic containers," the writer could vary their terminology by using terms like "plastic packaging," "polymer vessels," or "synthetic enclosures."
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of precise and imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, phrases like "massive advantage" and "crucial and unchangeable" effectively convey meaning. However, there are instances where vocabulary could be more precise, such as the use of "phenomena" where "trend" might be more appropriate, or "appropriation" where "acceptance" or "adoption" could be clearer.
    • How to improve: To enhance precision in vocabulary usage, it’s advisable to carefully select words that accurately convey the intended meaning. Avoid using overly vague or ambiguous terms that may obscure the writer’s message. Additionally, consulting a thesaurus or language references can aid in finding more precise synonyms for common words or phrases.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable level of spelling accuracy, with only minor errors observed (e.g., "phenomena" instead of "phenomenon," "salers" instead of "sellers"). Overall, spelling accuracy does not significantly detract from the clarity of the essay.
    • How to improve: To further improve spelling accuracy, it’s beneficial to review common spelling patterns and frequently misspelled words. Utilizing spell-checking tools and proofreading carefully before submission can also help identify and correct any spelling errors.

Overall, while the essay exhibits competence in lexical resource, there is room for improvement in expanding vocabulary range, using vocabulary more precisely, and maintaining consistent spelling accuracy. By actively working on these areas, the writer can enhance the clarity, depth, and overall effectiveness of their writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. However, there is room for improvement in diversifying sentence structures further to enhance coherence and sophistication. For instance, while some complex sentences are utilized, they could be more varied in their structure to avoid repetition and monotony. Additionally, the essay would benefit from the incorporation of rhetorical devices such as parallelism or inversion to add flair and variety.
    • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentence forms such as conditional sentences, relative clauses, and passive constructions. Additionally, strive to vary the beginnings of sentences and experiment with different sentence lengths to maintain reader engagement. Introducing rhetorical devices like parallelism or rhetorical questions can also elevate the essay’s style and effectiveness.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of grammatical accuracy, with relatively few errors. However, there are instances of grammatical errors and punctuation inaccuracies that hinder the clarity and precision of expression. For example, there are issues with subject-verb agreement ("plastic containers… have become widespread"), incorrect word choices ("phenomena" instead of "phenomenon"), and punctuation errors (missing commas before introductory phrases).
    • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and ensure consistency in verb tense usage throughout the essay. Review the use of articles, prepositions, and conjunctions to ensure they are employed correctly. Additionally, proofread the essay carefully to identify and correct punctuation errors such as missing or misplaced commas, apostrophes, and quotation marks. Consider seeking feedback from peers or utilizing grammar-checking tools to catch errors that may have been overlooked.

Bài sửa mẫu

In today’s world, the use of plastic containers by food and beverage companies has become widespread. This phenomenon has both advantages and disadvantages, which is evident in the fact that the positive effects outweigh the drawbacks.

On one hand, plastic packaging offers significant benefits for both consumers and sellers. Firstly, it provides convenience and flexibility for users. Plastic containers come in various shapes and sizes, making them suitable for a wide range of products and easy to transport. Additionally, their cost-effectiveness makes them appealing for companies, as they are affordable for mass production while still ensuring product safety and integrity.

However, on the other hand, the production and disposal of plastic have serious environmental consequences. Plastic containers, such as bags and straws, contribute significantly to soil and water pollution. Due to their slow decomposition and difficulty in recycling, they can persist in ecosystems for hundreds of years, leading to tons of plastic being dispersed across oceans, forests, and other habitats. This pollution poses a threat to wildlife and marine life, impacting not only humans but also other living creatures.

In conclusion, while plastic containers offer undeniable benefits and are widely relied upon by food and drink companies for their versatility and cost-effectiveness, their detrimental impact on the environment cannot be ignored. Despite their convenience, it is crucial for companies and consumers alike to explore alternatives and adopt more sustainable practices to mitigate the negative effects of plastic use.

Bài viết liên quan

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more…

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