People think that countries should produce foods that their population eats and import less food as much as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

People think that countries should produce foods that their population eats and import less food as much as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.

Ensuring food for the citizens is supposed to be one of the most important missions of a nation. While some people claim that the government should only focus on producing food for their people and limit the imported food to the least, I personally support the opposite point of view.
To start with, supporters of countries producing foods for their population feel that domestic food production is sufficient to cover people’s demands. Facts, in contrast, show opposite reality. It is undeniable that certain countries do not have favorable conditions to grow enough food. A notable example is African countries whose climate is severe and local people hardly can hardly harvest bumper crops as a result .
Moreover, the importing of foreign food can be greatly advantageous for two reasons. Firstly, it is the best way for the citizens to have various healthy diets. This can be clearly illustrated in the case of Laos, a country located in the Southeast of Asia, whose border is beside no seas. Imported seafood, as a result, plays an important role in contributing essential nutrition for local people. Secondly, customers can be beneficial in the competition of imported and domestic food companies. The appearance of foreign food in the local market forces national food producers to improve their products, which results in better food’s quality and services for the customers.
To conclude, as producing all food for the population is impossible and the importing of foreign food is proven to greatly benefits local people, it is suggested that the authority put emphasis on expanding the food importing activities and invest more money on national agriculture for long term purposes.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"Ensuring food for the citizens" -> "Ensuring food security for the population"
Explanation: The term "food security" is more precise and academically recognized, and "population" is preferred over "citizens" for a more formal tone.
"supposed to be" -> "considered"
Explanation: "Considered" is more formal and concise, improving the academic tone of the sentence.
"some people claim" -> "some argue"
Explanation: "Argue" is more appropriate in an academic context than "claim," which can imply a lack of evidence.
"producing food for their people" -> "cultivating food for the population"
Explanation: "Cultivating" is more specific and formal than "producing," and again, "population" is preferred for formality.
"limit the imported food to the least" -> "minimize the importation of food"
Explanation: "Minimize the importation of food" is a more precise and formal way of expressing the idea.
"I personally support" -> "I support"
Explanation: Removing "personally" makes the statement more objective and formal, which is preferred in academic writing.
"supporters of countries producing foods" -> "advocates for domestic food production"
Explanation: "Advocates for domestic food production" is more precise and formal.
"feel that" -> "believe that"
Explanation: "Believe that" is more academically appropriate than "feel that," which is considered too subjective.
"Facts, in contrast, show opposite reality." -> "However, evidence suggests otherwise."
Explanation: "However, evidence suggests otherwise" is more formal and aligns better with academic standards of evidence presentation.
"hardly can hardly" -> "can hardly"
Explanation: This is a correction of a typographical error for clarity and correctness.
"bumper crops" -> "substantial harvests"
Explanation: "Substantial harvests" is a more formal and precise term than "bumper crops."
"greatly advantageous" -> "highly beneficial"
Explanation: "Highly beneficial" is more formal and fits better in an academic context.
"the best way for the citizens" -> "an optimal method for the population"
Explanation: "An optimal method for the population" is more formal and precise.
"customers can be beneficial" -> "consumers can benefit"
Explanation: "Consumers can benefit" is more direct and appropriate for an academic context than the passive "can be beneficial."
"forces national food producers" -> "compels domestic food producers"
Explanation: "Compels" is more formal than "forces," and "domestic" is preferred over "national" for consistency in terminology.
"better food’s quality and services" -> "improved quality of food and services"
Explanation: "Improved quality of food and services" is clearer and more formal.
"it is suggested that the authority" -> "it is recommended that authorities"
Explanation: "It is recommended that authorities" is more formal and precise.
"put emphasis on" -> "emphasize"
Explanation: "Emphasize" is more concise and academically appropriate than "put emphasis on."
"invest more money on" -> "invest more resources in"
Explanation: "Invest more resources in" is broader and more formal, acknowledging that investment is not limited to monetary forms.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses the prompt by presenting a clear opinion regarding whether countries should prioritize producing their own food or import it, and it provides reasons to support the opinion.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, ensure that all aspects of the prompt are thoroughly discussed. For instance, elaborating more on the potential drawbacks of over-reliance on imported food and considering counterarguments would strengthen the response.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a consistent position throughout, arguing in favor of importing food to meet the diverse needs of citizens and improve the quality of locally produced food.
- How to improve: To further clarify the position, provide a concise thesis statement at the beginning of the essay that clearly states the stance on the issue and outlines the main points to be discussed.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas regarding the advantages of importing food, such as dietary diversity and market competition, and supports them with examples (e.g., Laos). However, some ideas lack depth and thorough development.
- How to improve: To enhance the depth of analysis, provide more detailed explanations and examples to strengthen the argument. Additionally, consider addressing potential counterarguments to demonstrate a nuanced understanding of the topic.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay largely stays on topic by discussing whether countries should produce or import food, and it provides relevant examples to support the argument.
- How to improve: Ensure that each paragraph directly relates to the main topic and refrain from introducing tangential ideas that detract from the coherence of the argument.

Overall, the essay effectively presents a coherent argument in response to the prompt, with clear reasoning and relevant examples. To improve the score, focus on providing more comprehensive analysis, strengthening the development of ideas, and maintaining a tight focus on the topic throughout the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a coherent organization of ideas, beginning with an introduction that presents the author’s stance and a preview of the arguments to be discussed. Each subsequent paragraph addresses a specific point, with clear topic sentences. The first body paragraph discusses the limitations of relying solely on domestic food production, followed by a second paragraph that outlines the advantages of importing food. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the author’s position.
- How to improve: While the essay maintains logical organization overall, enhancing coherence could involve strengthening the transition between paragraphs. Utilizing transitional phrases or sentences to connect ideas more explicitly would improve the flow of the essay and aid in the reader’s comprehension.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay appropriately employs paragraphs to organize distinct ideas. Each paragraph focuses on a single aspect of the argument, with clear topic sentences providing a roadmap for the reader. The paragraphs are of appropriate length, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay.
- How to improve: To further enhance the effectiveness of paragraphing, consider refining the structure within paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph follows a clear development pattern, with supporting evidence or examples provided to reinforce the main idea. Additionally, paying attention to transitions between paragraphs can help maintain a smooth progression of ideas.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate use of cohesive devices to connect ideas and enhance coherence. Examples include transitional phrases such as "To start with" and "Moreover," which help to signal shifts between different arguments. Additionally, pronouns like "this" and "which" are used effectively to reference previously mentioned concepts.
- How to improve: To further enrich cohesion, consider incorporating a wider variety of cohesive devices, such as synonyms, parallel structures, and conjunctions. This could involve using a greater diversity of transition words and phrases to vary sentence structures and improve overall coherence. Additionally, ensure that cohesive devices are used consistently throughout the essay to reinforce logical connections between ideas.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fair range of vocabulary, although there are instances where repetition and lack of variety are noticeable. For instance, phrases like "producing food for their population" and "imported food" recur without much variation. However, there are instances where more advanced vocabulary is used effectively, such as "bumper crops" and "favorable conditions."
- How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource, consider incorporating a broader array of vocabulary to avoid repetition. Synonyms or alternative expressions can enrich the essay. Additionally, integrating domain-specific terminology related to agriculture, economics, and nutrition could elevate the sophistication of the language.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay occasionally uses vocabulary with precision, but there are instances where words are used vaguely or interchangeably. For example, the phrase "bumper crops" is used appropriately, indicating a successful application of precise vocabulary. However, phrases like "severe climate" could benefit from more specific descriptors.
- How to improve: Aim for precision by selecting words that accurately convey the intended meaning. Instead of using general terms like "severe climate," consider specifying the climate conditions, such as "arid climate" or "harsh weather conditions." Engaging with a thesaurus or consulting authoritative sources can assist in finding more precise vocabulary options.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates satisfactory spelling accuracy. However, there are minor spelling errors present, such as "bumper crops" instead of "bumper crops," and "food’s quality" should be "foods’ quality." While these errors do not significantly detract from comprehension, they slightly impact the overall impression of the essay’s accuracy.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, consider utilizing spell-check tools or proofreading techniques to identify and correct errors before submission. Additionally, practicing spelling through regular writing exercises and reviewing commonly misspelled words can reinforce accuracy over time.

Overall, while the essay exhibits a commendable grasp of vocabulary and spelling, there is room for refinement to achieve a higher band score. By diversifying vocabulary, employing precise terminology, and ensuring consistent spelling accuracy, the essay can enhance its lexical resource and overall effectiveness.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fair range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. Examples include simple declarative sentences ("Ensuring food for the citizens is supposed to be one of the most important missions of a nation."), compound sentences ("Moreover, the importing of foreign food can be greatly advantageous for two reasons."), and complex sentences with dependent clauses ("It is undeniable that certain countries do not have favorable conditions to grow enough food."). However, there is room for improvement in diversifying the structures further to enhance coherence and sophistication.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety and effectiveness of sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex compound-complex sentences and utilizing introductory phrases or clauses to vary sentence beginnings. Additionally, employing rhetorical devices such as parallelism or inversion can add depth to the essay’s expression.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains grammatical accuracy, but there are some instances of grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect clarity. For example, there are errors in subject-verb agreement ("local people hardly can hardly harvest bumper crops as a result") and punctuation misuse ("Imported seafood, as a result, plays an important role in contributing essential nutrition for local people."). Additionally, some sentences lack clarity due to awkward phrasing or incomplete thoughts ("A notable example is African countries whose climate is severe and local people hardly can hardly harvest bumper crops as a result .").
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and sentence structure. Proofreading the essay carefully can help identify and correct punctuation errors, ensuring clarity and coherence. Also, focus on refining sentence structure to convey ideas more effectively, avoiding overly convoluted or fragmented sentences.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of grammatical range and accuracy, further refinement in sentence structure diversity and grammatical precision would strengthen the overall quality of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

Ensuring food security for the population is considered a crucial responsibility of any nation. While some argue that countries should focus solely on cultivating food for their citizens and minimize the importation of food, I support a different perspective.

To begin with, advocates for domestic food production believe that it is sufficient to meet the demands of the population. However, evidence suggests otherwise. Certain countries face harsh climates that hinder substantial harvests. For instance, African nations often struggle to produce enough food due to severe weather conditions.

Moreover, importing foreign food can be highly beneficial for two main reasons. Firstly, it provides consumers with a diverse range of healthy dietary options. This is exemplified by Laos, a landlocked country in Southeast Asia, where imported seafood supplements essential nutrition for the local population. Secondly, competition from imported goods compels domestic food producers to enhance the quality of their products and services, resulting in improved offerings for consumers.

In conclusion, while producing all the necessary food domestically may not be feasible, the importation of foreign food can greatly benefit local populations. Therefore, it is recommended that authorities emphasize expanding food importing activities and invest more resources in national agriculture for long-term sustainability.