The diagram below shows the recycling process of plastics. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The diagram below shows the recycling process of plastics.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The diagram illustrates how plastics are recycled.
Overall, there are six main stages in the process of recycling plastics, beginning with plastic cells in shops and and with remaking them in the factory.
To begin with plastics are sold in some shops, people who need will buy them and consume plastics. There are two cases can happen with plastic. First plastics which are thrown into a rubbish bin are destroyed in landfill. The other case is bottles, plastics are picked up then it is moved to sorting house to arrange. And after that plastics are delivered into a factor, in here people process it then sell it to private or community markets , thereby continuing the process.
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Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"plastic cells" -> "plastic items"
Explanation: "Plastic cells" is an unnatural phrase in this context. Using "plastic items" is more appropriate and commonly used to refer to various forms of plastic products or materials. -
"with remaking them" -> "and remaking them"
Explanation: The phrase "with remaking them" is grammatically incorrect. Using "and remaking them" creates a clear conjunction between the stages of the recycling process. -
"plastics are sold in some shops" -> "plastic products are sold in various retail outlets"
Explanation: "Plastics" is a broad term that encompasses various types of plastic products. Using "plastic products" is more specific and appropriate. Additionally, "various retail outlets" is more formal than "some shops." -
"people who need will buy them and consume plastics" -> "consumers purchase and use plastic products as needed"
Explanation: Restructuring the sentence for clarity and using "consumers" instead of "people who need" adds precision. Additionally, "consume plastics" can be replaced with "use plastic products." -
"There are two cases can happen" -> "Two scenarios may occur"
Explanation: The phrase "There are two cases can happen" is grammatically incorrect. Using "Two scenarios may occur" provides a clearer and more formal expression of the idea. -
"thrown into a rubbish bin are destroyed in landfill" -> "disposed of in a rubbish bin end up in landfills"
Explanation: The original phrase lacks clarity and precision. "Disposed of in a rubbish bin" better conveys the action, and "end up in landfills" clarifies the destination of the plastics. -
"plastics are picked up then it is moved" -> "plastic items are collected and then transported"
Explanation: The phrase "plastics are picked up then it is moved" lacks parallel structure. Using "plastic items are collected and then transported" maintains parallelism and clarity. -
"sorting house to arrange" -> "sorting facility for organization"
Explanation: "Sorting house to arrange" is awkward and imprecise. Using "sorting facility for organization" is clearer and more formal. -
"plastics are delivered into a factor" -> "plastic items are transported to a factory"
Explanation: "Delivered into a factor" is grammatically incorrect. Using "plastic items are transported to a factory" conveys the intended meaning more clearly. -
"in here people process it" -> "here, workers process them"
Explanation: "In here people process it" is awkward and lacks clarity. Using "here, workers process them" specifies the location and the actors involved in the process. -
"then sell it to private or community markets" -> "and then sell the recycled materials to private or community markets"
Explanation: Adding "the recycled materials" clarifies what is being sold, and using "and then" maintains coherence in the sequence of actions.
Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5.0
Explanation:
The essay generally addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the recycling process of plastics. It outlines the six main stages involved, including the sale of plastics in shops, consumption, disposal in landfill (for some plastics), sorting, processing in a factory, and selling the processed plastics. However, there are several issues with clarity, coherence, and relevance. For instance, the explanation of the process is somewhat confusing and lacks specificity in some areas. Additionally, there are grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that hinder the overall clarity of the response.
How to improve:
To improve, focus on providing a clearer, more concise description of the recycling process. Ensure that each stage is explained in detail and in a logical order. Avoid unnecessary repetition and use accurate terminology related to recycling processes. Additionally, pay attention to grammar and sentence structure to enhance the overall readability of the essay.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay presents some organization by outlining the main stages of the recycling process. However, there is a lack of overall progression as the information is somewhat disjointed. Cohesion is lacking due to inadequate use of cohesive devices, resulting in unclear connections between ideas. The essay attempts paragraphing, but it lacks coherence within and between paragraphs.
How to improve:
- Focus on providing a clearer and more coherent structure. Ensure that each paragraph builds upon the previous one, leading to a logical progression of ideas.
- Use a variety of cohesive devices effectively to connect ideas and improve the flow of the essay. This will help in presenting the information more smoothly.
- Avoid repetition and strive for accuracy in language use to enhance clarity and coherence.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and maintains coherence within itself. Consider revising the paragraphing to improve logical organization.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay provides a basic overview of the recycling process of plastics, identifying six main stages. There is an attempt to vary vocabulary with phrases like "plastic cells," "rubbish bin," and "sorting house," although some common vocabulary is used repetitively ("plastics," "shops"). However, there are noticeable errors in word choice and expression that hinder clarity and precision. For instance, "people who need will buy them and consume plastics" could be more effectively expressed. Additionally, there are some errors in word formation and spelling, such as "factor" instead of "factory" and "with remaking" instead of "remaking."
How to improve: To improve lexical resource, strive for greater variety in vocabulary, especially by incorporating more specific and precise terms related to the recycling process. Aim for clearer expression and avoid errors in word choice and formation. Proofreading for spelling and grammar will also enhance the overall clarity and coherence of the essay.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay attempts to use a variety of sentence structures, including simple and complex sentences. However, there are issues with accuracy and clarity in expression. Some sentences lack coherence due to awkward phrasing or unclear meaning. There is an attempt at complexity with phrases like "plastics are sold in some shops" and "plastics which are thrown into a rubbish bin are destroyed in landfill," but these attempts are marred by grammatical errors and lack of clarity. Punctuation is also inconsistent, which affects the overall readability of the essay.
How to improve: Focus on improving sentence structure variety while ensuring accuracy and clarity. Practice constructing complex sentences with proper grammar and punctuation. Review sentence structure and ensure coherence and cohesion throughout the essay. Additionally, proofreading for punctuation errors and clarity of expression will enhance the overall quality of the writing.
Bài sửa mẫu
The provided diagram outlines the sequential stages involved in the recycling of plastics.
Overall, the recycling process comprises six key steps, commencing with the distribution of plastic products to various retail outlets and concluding with their transformation in manufacturing facilities.
Initially, plastic items are retailed in select stores, where consumers purchase and utilize them. Subsequently, plastics may follow one of two routes. Firstly, plastics disposed of in regular waste bins are typically deposited in landfills, where they undergo decomposition. Alternatively, plastic bottles and similar items are collected and transported to sorting facilities for categorization. Following sorting, the plastics proceed to a factory for processing, where they are refined and prepared for resale in either private or communal markets, thus perpetuating the recycling cycle.
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