The table below gives information about salaries of secondary/high school teachers in five countries in 2009. Secondary/high school teacher salaries (2009) Country | Starting | Salary per year (US$) After 15 years | Maximum | Years taken to reach top salary ———————————————————————————————————– Australia | 34,600 | 48,000 | 48,000 | 9 Denmark | 47,000 | 54,000 | 54,000 | 8 Luxembourg | 80,000 | 112,000 | 139,000 | 30 Korea | 30,500 | 52,600 | 84,500 | 37 Japan | 28,000 | 49,000 | 62,400 | 34

The table below gives information about salaries of secondary/high school
teachers in five countries in 2009.
Secondary/high school teacher salaries (2009)
Country | Starting | Salary per year (US$) After 15 years | Maximum | Years taken to reach top salary
———————————————————————————————————–
Australia | 34,600 | 48,000 | 48,000 | 9
Denmark | 47,000 | 54,000 | 54,000 | 8
Luxembourg | 80,000 | 112,000 | 139,000 | 30
Korea | 30,500 | 52,600 | 84,500 | 37
Japan | 28,000 | 49,000 | 62,400 | 34

The table presents a comparision in the salaries of secondary and high school teachers from five distinct regions during the year 2009

It is evident from the data that, throughout this period, all regions experienced a consistent upward trend in the salaries of teachers.
Notably, Luxembourg consistently reported the highest numbers,
While Australia had the lowest, Futhermore, Danish teachers had
the advantage of attaining the maximum salary at a notably accelerated pace compared to their counterparts in most other nations.

On the one hand, Luxembourg paid for secondary and highschool teachers an annual starting Salary of $80,000. In contrast, Danish teachers began with a substantially lower starting salary of $ 45,000. The remaining countries offered starting salaries of approximately $ 30.000 for novice educators. After 15 years the salaries for teachers saw a considerable increase all regions In Luxemboury, which rose from $ 80,000 to $112 000
while Denmark and Korea had slightly increased from $47,000 and $30,500 to $54,000 and $52,600, respectively. Meanwhile, Astraulia and Japan maintained their positions at the bottom of the rankings, with slight risers from $34,600 and $28,000 to $48,000 and $49,000 salaries of teachers ,respectively.

On the other hand, the maximum salaries achievable of teacher in Australia and Denmark, which just in 8 or 9 years and unchanged with $48,000 and $54000. Meanwhile, the top salaries taken by remaining regions had to wait minimum 30 years but there was a significant rise in Luxenboury from 112,000 to 139,000 and in Korea salaries of teachers from 52, 600 to $84,500. In contrast the salaries of teacher in Japan was a growth minimally from. $49,000 to $62,400.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

1. "comparision" -> "comparison"
   Explanation: "Comparison" is the correct spelling of the word, ensuring accuracy in written communication.
2. "Futhermore" -> "Furthermore"
   Explanation: "Furthermore" is the correct spelling, maintaining professionalism and clarity in the sentence.
3. "Luxemboury" -> "Luxembourg"
   Explanation: Correcting the spelling to "Luxembourg" ensures accuracy in referencing the country.
4. "Astraulia" -> "Australia"
   Explanation: Correcting the spelling to "Australia" ensures accuracy in referencing the country.
5. "risers" -> "increases"
   Explanation: "Increases" is a more formal and appropriate term to describe the growth of salaries.
6. "maximum salaries achievable of teacher" -> "maximum achievable salaries of teachers"
   Explanation: Adjusting the phrase to "maximum achievable salaries of teachers" enhances clarity and grammatical correctness.
7. "Luxenboury" -> "Luxembourg"
   Explanation: Correcting the spelling to "Luxembourg" ensures consistency and accuracy in referencing the country.
8. "growth minimally from." -> "minimal growth from."
   Explanation: Adjusting the phrase to "minimal growth from" improves grammatical accuracy and clarity.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay adequately covers the requirements of the task by presenting a clear overview of the main trends in teacher salaries across the five countries in 2009. It highlights key features such as starting salaries, salary increases over 15 years, maximum salaries, and the years taken to reach the top salary. The essay demonstrates an understanding of the data presented in the table and effectively compares the salary trends among the different countries.

How to improve:
To improve, the essay could extend its analysis by providing more precise and accurate figures from the table, ensuring consistency in the presentation of data, and refining language for clarity and coherence. Additionally, providing a concluding statement summarizing the overall comparison could enhance the essay’s structure.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay presents information about the salaries of secondary and high school teachers in five countries in 2009. The essay attempts to organize the information but lacks a clear overall progression. There is some attempt at using cohesive devices, but they are inconsistently applied, leading to occasional lack of clarity. The essay is divided into paragraphs, though their logical structure is somewhat disrupted by the inconsistent use of cohesive devices.
How to improve: To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on providing a clearer overall progression of ideas. Use cohesive devices more consistently and appropriately to ensure smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that ideas are logically organized within each paragraph. Additionally, strive for greater accuracy in referencing and substitution to avoid repetition and confusion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the task and utilizes some vocabulary related to salary and education. There is an attempt to describe the data presented in the table, mentioning the starting salaries, salary increases over time, and maximum salaries in the respective countries. Some effort is made to compare the salaries across different countries, although the comparison lacks depth and clarity.

How to improve:

1. Increase lexical variety: Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely. For instance, instead of repeatedly using phrases like "the salaries of teachers," consider using synonyms like "educator remuneration" or "teacher wages" to avoid repetition.
2. Enhance accuracy: Pay attention to spelling and grammar to minimize errors. For example, "Luxemboury" should be corrected to "Luxembourg," and "Astraulia" should be corrected to "Australia."
3. Provide clearer comparisons: Offer more detailed and insightful comparisons between the countries’ salary trends. Instead of simply stating that "Luxembourg consistently reported the highest numbers," provide specific figures or percentages to support this claim.

By incorporating these improvements, the essay can achieve a higher band score by demonstrating a more sophisticated control of lexical resources and clearer expression of ideas.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While there is an attempt to use a variety of sentence forms, there are notable errors in grammar and punctuation throughout the essay. For instance, there are issues with subject-verb agreement ("Luxembourg consistently reported"), punctuation errors (missing commas in some instances), and spelling errors ("Luxemboury"). However, despite these errors, the communication is generally clear, and the essay effectively conveys the information presented in the prompt.

How to improve:
To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, focus on enhancing sentence structures by incorporating more complex constructions. Additionally, pay closer attention to grammar rules, particularly subject-verb agreement and punctuation. Proofreading the essay before submission can help identify and correct errors, ensuring clearer communication. Furthermore, expanding vocabulary and refining sentence structures can contribute to achieving a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided table illustrates the salaries of secondary and high school teachers across five different countries in the year 2009. It is evident that there exists considerable disparity among the salary structures of these educators, with Luxembourg offering the highest remuneration while Australia and Japan lag behind.

Commencing with the initial salaries, Luxembourg notably stands out with a starting salary of $80,000, which is substantially higher than that of Denmark, Australia, Korea, and Japan, where the starting salaries range approximately between $28,000 and $47,000. Danish teachers, in particular, commence their careers with a starting salary of $47,000, which is higher than their counterparts in Australia, Korea, and Japan.

After 15 years of service, all regions witnessed a significant increment in teacher salaries. Luxembourg retained its position at the top with an increase from $80,000 to $112,000, while Denmark and Korea also experienced notable rises from $47,000 and $30,500 to $54,000 and $52,600, respectively. Conversely, Australia and Japan exhibited more modest growth, with salaries rising from $34,600 and $28,000 to $48,000 and $49,000, respectively.

Regarding the maximum attainable salaries, Australia and Denmark emerge as countries where teachers reach the pinnacle of their salary scale in relatively fewer years, specifically within 8 to 9 years, with maximum salaries remaining unchanged at $48,000 and $54,000, respectively. In contrast, teachers in Luxembourg, Korea, and Japan must endure a longer trajectory, spanning approximately 30 to 37 years, to reach their maximum earning potential. Despite this, there are substantial increases in maximum salaries, particularly in Luxembourg, where salaries escalate from $112,000 to $139,000, and in Korea, where salaries surge from $52,600 to $84,500. Conversely, Japan witnesses more moderate growth, with maximum salaries increasing minimally from $49,000 to $62,400.

In summary, the data portrays a notable discrepancy in teacher salaries across the surveyed nations, with Luxembourg offering the highest initial and maximum salaries, while Australia and Japan lag behind both in terms of starting and maximum earnings. Meanwhile, Denmark stands out for its comparatively accelerated progression to maximum salary levels.