University education should be free to everyone, regardless of income. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

University education should be free to everyone, regardless of income. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many feel that it is necessary for universities to eliminate tuition fees, and universities should be freely opened for everyone. However, I believe that this could burden governments, moreover, free tuition fees should be applied to those who desire to study.

On the one hand, free education can open up more possibilities for everyone who wants to attend university. Families with low income or living in mountainous areas can struggle to earn money to afford expensive living expenses, especially in large cities where most ingenious colleges are located. Therefore, eliminating this expense can help them reduce their financial burden. For instance, in Germany, the government implemented a policy that removes the education fees of public universities to encourage more students to enroll.

On the other hand, tuition fees play a crucial role in the operation of colleges. In fact, most universities consider tuition fees as the main income, which not only ensures educational amenities but also pays employee's salaries. Therefore, if education is free, the managing departments of these schools can struggle to find another appropriate source to conserve university activities. Additionally, it is suitable that only those who truly study deserve to receive free education. This is because there are cases in which students are not study-oriented but attend universities to escape from their parental control, which is a waste of money. One solution that can be taken is to provide scholarships that reduce education fees for excellent students instead of applying for everyone.

In conclusion, free education can help people to decrease their financial burden, however, I hold a viewpoint that the aforementioned drawbacks can prevent this idea from being applied in some colleges.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses all parts of the prompt. It discusses both sides of the argument regarding whether university education should be free for everyone, regardless of income. The introduction presents the writer’s opinion, and subsequent paragraphs elaborate on both the benefits and drawbacks of free education.
    • How to improve: To enhance the response, ensure that each point made directly relates to the prompt. Additionally, provide more detailed examples to support the arguments presented.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The writer’s stance is clear throughout the essay. They argue that while free education could alleviate financial burdens, it may not be feasible due to the financial strain it places on governments and universities. This position is maintained consistently, providing a clear perspective for the reader.
    • How to improve: To further strengthen clarity, consider refining the thesis statement to succinctly outline the main argument and its supporting points. Additionally, explicitly addressing counterarguments can demonstrate a nuanced understanding of the topic.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas on both sides of the argument and extends them with examples, such as the policy in Germany regarding tuition fees. However, some points lack elaboration, particularly regarding the financial implications for universities.
    • How to improve: To enhance idea development, delve deeper into the consequences of free education for both individuals and institutions. Provide specific data or studies to support claims, making the argument more robust and persuasive.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay maintains focus on the topic of whether university education should be free for everyone. However, there are moments where the discussion could be more tightly linked to the central argument, such as when discussing the financial challenges faced by universities.
    • How to improve: To ensure coherence, consistently relate each point back to the overarching argument regarding the affordability of university education. Avoid tangential discussions that may distract from the main thesis.

Overall, while the essay effectively addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position, there is room for improvement in expanding and supporting ideas with more detailed examples and evidence. Additionally, ensuring tighter cohesion between arguments can strengthen the overall coherence and persuasiveness of the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

  • Organize Information Logically:
    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear organizational structure with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. It introduces the topic in the introduction, presents arguments for and against free university education in the body paragraphs, and concludes with a succinct summary of the author’s viewpoint. Each paragraph focuses on a separate aspect of the argument, providing a logical progression of ideas.
    • How to improve: To further enhance logical organization, consider providing smoother transitions between paragraphs to improve the overall coherence of the essay. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph develops a single main idea coherently, avoiding potential digressions or tangential discussions.
  • Use Paragraphs:
    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively utilizes paragraphs to organize its content. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument, such as the benefits of free education or the drawbacks of implementing it. Topic sentences clearly introduce the main idea of each paragraph, and supporting details are provided to strengthen the argument.
    • How to improve: To enhance paragraphing further, consider varying the length and structure of paragraphs for better readability. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph maintains unity and coherence by staying focused on its central theme without straying into unrelated topics.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a range of cohesive devices to connect ideas and ensure coherence. These devices include transitional phrases like "on the one hand" and "on the other hand," which signal shifts between different arguments. Additionally, pronouns such as "this" and "these" help refer back to previously mentioned concepts, enhancing overall cohesion.
    • How to improve: To further diversify cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of transitional expressions and synonyms to avoid repetition. Additionally, ensure that cohesive devices are used consistently throughout the essay to maintain coherence and clarity.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, encompassing terms such as "eliminate," "ingenious," "implemented," "conserves," and "viewpoint." These choices contribute to a varied lexical repertoire that enhances the overall quality of expression.
    • How to improve: To further enrich the lexical resource, consider incorporating more nuanced and contextually appropriate vocabulary. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "education," explore synonyms like "academic pursuits," "scholarly endeavors," or "learning endeavors" where applicable. Additionally, integrating domain-specific terminology related to education and economics could elevate the sophistication of the argument.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary with precision, although there are instances where certain terms could be more accurately utilized. For example, the phrase "most ingenious colleges" could be clarified for specificity. Furthermore, while the essay effectively communicates ideas, there is occasional repetition, such as the repetitive use of "free education" throughout the essay, which could be addressed for greater precision.
    • How to improve: To enhance precision, strive for specificity in terminology, ensuring that each word precisely conveys the intended meaning. Avoid redundancy by varying vocabulary and sentence structure. Consider utilizing synonyms or rephrasing sentences to maintain clarity without sacrificing lexical variety.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates generally correct spelling, with only minor errors observed. Instances such as "ingenious" (likely intended to be "indigenous") and "viewpoint" are correctly spelled. However, there are occasional typographical errors, such as "implement" instead of "implemented," which slightly detract from the overall polish of the writing.
    • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, thorough proofreading is essential. Consider utilizing spell-check tools and allocating time specifically for reviewing spelling in the writing process. Additionally, familiarize yourself with common spelling patterns and seek feedback from peers or mentors to identify and rectify errors effectively. By integrating these strategies, spelling precision can be further enhanced, contributing to a more professional presentation of ideas.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures. Simple, compound, and complex sentences are utilized throughout the essay, although there is room for improvement in terms of variety. For instance, there is a reliance on basic sentence structures, such as subject-verb-object constructions. While some complex sentences are present, their frequency is limited. Additionally, the essay lacks the use of rhetorical devices or more sophisticated syntactical constructions, which could enhance the overall quality and coherence of the writing.
    • How to improve: To diversify sentence structures and enhance effectiveness, consider incorporating a wider range of sentence types, including compound-complex sentences, parallel structures, and varying lengths for better flow and rhythm. Introducing rhetorical devices like parallelism, anaphora, or appositives can also add depth to the essay’s argumentation and engage the reader more effectively.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains grammatical accuracy, with few errors observed. However, there are some instances of grammatical mistakes and punctuation errors throughout the text. For example, in the sentence "Many feel that it is necessary for universities to eliminate tuition fees, and universities should be freely opened for everyone," the use of "and" could be replaced with a semicolon or a comma to enhance clarity and cohesion. Additionally, there are minor grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ("families with low income or living in mountainous areas can struggle"), inconsistent verb tense usage ("can help them reduce their financial burden" should be "could help them reduce their financial burden"), and awkward phrasing ("there are cases in which students are not study-oriented").
    • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy and punctuation skills, thorough proofreading is essential. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and sentence structure coherence. Additionally, familiarize yourself with common punctuation rules, such as when to use commas, semicolons, and conjunctions. Utilize grammar resources and practice writing to strengthen these areas of proficiency and ensure clearer communication of ideas. Additionally, consider seeking feedback from peers or instructors to identify and address recurring errors effectively.

Bài sửa mẫu

Many argue for the necessity of making university education accessible to all by abolishing tuition fees. However, I contend that this approach may strain government resources. Instead, I advocate for free tuition to be extended to those who are genuinely committed to pursuing higher education.

On one hand, providing free education can broaden opportunities for individuals aspiring to attend university. Families with limited financial means, particularly those residing in rural or remote areas, often struggle to afford the high cost of living associated with major cities where prestigious universities are situated. Consequently, relieving them of the burden of tuition fees can alleviate their financial hardships. For example, Germany has implemented a policy waiving tuition fees at public universities to encourage greater enrollment.

On the other hand, tuition fees are essential for the functioning of universities. They serve as a primary source of revenue, ensuring the provision of educational resources and faculty salaries. Therefore, the elimination of tuition fees could pose challenges for university administrations in maintaining their operations. Moreover, it is equitable that only those committed to their studies should benefit from free education. Instances exist where students enroll in universities merely to escape parental oversight, resulting in wasteful expenditure. One viable solution could involve offering scholarships to academically outstanding students, thereby reducing the financial burden selectively.

In conclusion, while free education holds the potential to alleviate financial strain for many, it is important to acknowledge the potential drawbacks that may hinder its implementation in certain educational institutions.

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