The table and bar chart below give information about how TDTU students travel to their hometown for Tet holiday and the average cost of each means of transportation. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table and bar chart below give information about how TDTU students travel to their hometown for Tet holiday and the average cost of each means of transportation.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table and bar chart give information about types of transportation which TDTU students back to home for Tet holiday and the expenses per vehicle.
The mean of transportation used most by TDTU students is coach, at 45 percent. This accounts for nearly half of total students population. The second place belongs to the motorbike, at 20 percent. The remaining means differ by 5 percent, with 15 percent for train, 10 percent for taxi.The numbers of student uses home car and plane are equal and also the least, at 5 percent for each.
The most expenses transport of all transportation is plane, with 3 million VND on average. This is more than twice the second most cost vehicle is taxi, with 1,3 million VND on average. Train and coach also have a high cost more than 500 thousand VND with 850 and 500 VND on average respectively. Home car is the cheapest mean of transportation with completely free costs.
Overall, the table shows that coach is the mean of transportation used most by TDTU students to back to hometown for Tet holiday. Besides, the bar chart gives information that the plane is the highest expensive costs with an average price of millions VND.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"back to home" -> "returning home"
Explanation: "Back to home" is a colloquial expression that is not grammatically incorrect but sounds less formal. "Returning home" is a more formal and appropriate phrase in this context.
"mean of transportation" -> "mode of transportation"
Explanation: "Mean" refers to an average value, while "mode" refers to the most frequently occurring value. Since the context is about the most commonly used transportation method, "mode of transportation" is more appropriate.
"This accounts for nearly half of total students population." -> "This accounts for nearly half of the total student population."
Explanation: "Total students population" should be corrected to "total student population" to maintain grammatical correctness and clarity.
"The remaining means differ by 5 percent," -> "The other modes vary by 5 percent,"
Explanation: "Means" is not the most precise term here; "modes" is more appropriate in the context of transportation. Additionally, "differ" is not the best verb choice here. "Vary" better captures the idea of differences in percentage.
"The numbers of student uses home car" -> "The number of students using their own cars"
Explanation: "Home car" is unclear and unnatural. Clarify by specifying "their own cars" instead. Also, "numbers of student uses" should be corrected to "number of students using."
"also the least" -> "are also the least"
Explanation: Adding "are" before "also" improves grammatical correctness.
"The most expenses transport of all transportation" -> "The most expensive mode of transportation"
Explanation: "Expenses transport" is not correct; it should be "expensive mode of transportation." Also, "of all transportation" is redundant; "mode of transportation" already encompasses all forms of transportation.
"This is more than twice the second most cost vehicle is taxi," -> "This is more than double the cost of the second most expensive mode, which is a taxi,"
Explanation: The sentence lacks clarity and contains grammatical errors. Clarify by explicitly stating "the second most expensive mode," and "more than double" is more precise than "twice." Also, "cost vehicle" should be "expensive mode," and the structure of the sentence needs improvement for coherence.
"Train and coach also have a high cost more than 500 thousand VND with 850 and 500 VND on average respectively." -> "Trains and coaches also incur significant expenses, with averages exceeding 500 thousand VND, at 850 and 500 VND, respectively."
Explanation: The original sentence lacks clarity and proper structure. By rephrasing and restructuring, the meaning becomes clearer and more grammatically correct.
"Home car is the cheapest mean of transportation" -> "Using one’s own car is the most economical mode of transportation"
Explanation: "Home car" is not standard terminology; "using one’s own car" is clearer. Additionally, "mean of transportation" should be "mode of transportation," and "cheapest" can be replaced with "most economical" for a more sophisticated expression.
"the plane is the highest expensive costs" -> "air travel incurs the highest expenses"
Explanation: "The plane" is vague; "air travel" is more precise. "Highest expensive costs" is redundant and awkward; "incurs the highest expenses" is a more concise and appropriate phrase.
"an average price of millions VND" -> "an average price in the millions of VND"
Explanation: "Of millions VND" is not grammatically correct; "in the millions of VND" is a more appropriate phrase.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5

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Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay generally addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the data provided. It presents an overview of the transportation methods used by TDTU students for the Tet holiday and the average costs associated with each means of transportation. However, the presentation lacks coherence and organization. There is some confusion in the presentation of information, such as the unclear comparison of transportation costs, and some inaccuracies, such as stating that home car transportation is completely free, which might not be the case in all situations.
How to improve: Provide a clearer and more structured overview of the main features, focusing on the key data points provided in the table and bar chart. Ensure accuracy in presenting information and avoid making assumptions about costs, such as stating that home car transportation is completely free without supporting evidence. Additionally, work on improving coherence and cohesion in the essay to make it easier to follow. Ensure that comparisons between different means of transportation and costs are made explicitly and accurately.]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4.0

Explanation: The essay presents the main features of the data but lacks coherence and cohesion. There is an attempt to summarize the information, mentioning the percentages of students using different means of transportation and their associated costs. However, the organization is lacking, making it difficult for the reader to follow the flow of ideas. Sentences are often disjointed, with abrupt transitions between points. Additionally, there are errors in grammar and syntax that further hinder comprehension.

How to improve: To improve coherence and cohesion, the essay needs better organization and logical progression of ideas. Each paragraph should focus on a single main point, with clear topic sentences and supporting details. Transition words and phrases should be used to guide the reader smoothly through the essay. Additionally, attention to grammar and sentence structure is necessary to enhance clarity and coherence. Finally, incorporating more precise vocabulary and ensuring accurate use of terminology would strengthen the overall effectiveness of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, covering the key transportation methods and their associated costs. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "mean of transportation" and "expenses per vehicle," which contribute to the lexical variety. However, there are inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as "the mean of transportation used most" which could be better expressed as "the most commonly used means of transportation." Additionally, some errors in spelling and word formation are present, such as "coach" being mistakenly written as "coast" and "mean" instead of "means." Despite these errors, the communication remains relatively clear.

How to improve:
To improve the lexical resource, focus on accurately using vocabulary related to transportation and cost. Pay attention to word choice and collocation to ensure precise and natural expression. Proofreading for spelling and word formation errors will help enhance clarity and coherence in the essay. Additionally, expanding vocabulary related to transportation and cost would further enrich the lexical range of the response.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates an attempt to use both simple and complex sentence forms, aligning with the criteria for a Band 6 score. There is a mix of sentence structures, and the essay conveys the main ideas and comparisons from the data provided. However, there are noticeable grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that occasionally hinder clear communication. For instance, phrases like "types of transportation which TDTU students back to home for Tet holiday" and "The numbers of student uses home car and plane are equal" demonstrate a lack of grammatical accuracy and awkward construction. Despite these issues, the errors do not significantly reduce the overall communication of the essay, allowing the reader to understand the main points being made.

How to Improve:
To aim for a higher band, the writer should focus on enhancing their grammatical range and accuracy. This can be achieved by:

Practicing complex sentence structures: While the essay attempts complex sentences, there is room for improvement in accuracy. Practice writing sentences that combine clauses in different ways (e.g., using relative clauses, conditionals, and passive voice) to convey information more precisely and fluidly.
Focusing on subject-verb agreement and tense consistency: Several sentences in the essay suffer from subject-verb agreement errors and inconsistent tenses. Reviewing and practicing these fundamental grammar rules can significantly improve the accuracy of the essay.
Expanding vocabulary and phrasing: Some phrases in the essay are awkward or unnatural in English (e.g., "the expenses per vehicle" could be more naturally phrased as "the average cost of each means of transportation"). Expanding vocabulary and exposure to native English materials can help develop a more natural and accurate way of expressing ideas.
Proofreading for punctuation and minor errors: Attention to detail in punctuation and careful proofreading can catch and correct minor errors that detract from the overall quality of the essay.

By focusing on these areas, the writer can improve both the range of grammatical structures used and the overall accuracy of their writing, aiming for a higher band score in future essays.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided table and bar chart present data regarding the modes of transportation utilized by TDTU students to return to their hometowns for Tet holidays, along with the associated average expenses for each mode.

Overall, it is evident that the coach is the most preferred mode of transportation among TDTU students, constituting 45 percent of the total student population. Following the coach, motorbikes are used by 20 percent of students, while trains and taxis each account for 15 percent and 10 percent, respectively. The least utilized means are home cars and planes, both standing at 5 percent each.

In terms of expenses, it is noteworthy that the plane emerges as the most costly mode of transportation, with an average expense of 3 million VND. This is significantly higher than the second most expensive mode, which is taxis, averaging at 1.3 million VND. Trains and coaches also incur considerable costs, averaging at 850 thousand VND and 500 thousand VND, respectively. Notably, home cars stand out as the most economical option, incurring no expenses.

In conclusion, the data illustrates that the coach is the predominant mode of transportation chosen by TDTU students for their Tet holiday travels, while the plane stands out as the most expensive option among the various modes available.