The pie charts show information about energy production in a country in two separate years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should spend 20 minutes on this task. Write at least 150 words.

The pie charts show information about energy production in a country in two separate years.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

You should spend 20 minutes on this task.
Write at least 150 words.

The pie charts demonstrate information about power construction in a country in two separate years.
Overall, the comparison of gas and coal were the biggest energy production in 1995 and continued into 2005. The comparison of others was the =smallest spirit production in 1995 and 2005.
In 1995, the percentage of gas and coal were the largest power construction. It stood at 29.80% and 29.63%, respectively, compared to only 29.27% of petro energy. At 29.27%, the percentage of petro was about five times as much as that of nuclear. Additionally, the comparison of other spirits was the smallest energy construction
In 2005, The coal rose sleepily to 30.93%. Next, the proportion of gas accounts for 30.31%. The percentage of petro stood at 19.55%, about 2 times as less as that of petro in 1995. The Nuclear increased dramtically from 6.40% in 1995 to 10.10% in 2005. The percentage of other energy production stood at 9.10% and It also was the smallest power construction in 2005

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

1. "comparison of gas and coal were the biggest energy production" -> "comparison between gas and coal represented the largest energy production"
   Explanation: Using "comparison between" clarifies the relationship being discussed, and "represented" is a more accurate term for describing data in charts or graphs.
2. "the comparison of others was the smallest spirit production" -> "other sources accounted for the smallest energy production"
   Explanation: "Other sources" is more specific and clear than "the comparison of others," and "accounted for" is a better choice for describing percentages or proportions in this context.
3. "the percentage of gas and coal were the largest power construction" -> "the proportions of gas and coal constituted the largest energy generation"
   Explanation: "Proportions" is more precise than "percentage" in this context, and "constituted" better describes the role of gas and coal in energy generation.
4. "rose sleepily" -> "increased steadily"
   Explanation: "Rose sleepily" is a figurative expression that is not appropriate for an analytical essay. "Increased steadily" accurately conveys a gradual rise.
5. "accounts for" -> "accounted for"
   Explanation: "Accounted for" is the correct past tense form to match the past tense context of the sentence.
6. "about 2 times as less as" -> "about half as much as"
   Explanation: "Two times as less" is grammatically incorrect. "About half as much as" is a clearer and correct way to express a reduction in percentage.
7. "increased dramtically" -> "increased dramatically"
   Explanation: Correcting the spelling of "dramtically" to "dramatically" ensures grammatical accuracy.
8. "It also was the smallest power construction" -> "It also represented the smallest energy generation"
   Explanation: Using "represented" maintains consistency with earlier descriptions and clarifies the role of "other energy production" in the context of energy generation.

These changes should improve the clarity, accuracy, and formality of the essay’s vocabulary and expressions.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 4

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Band Score: 4.0
Explanation: The essay attempts to address the task by summarizing the information presented in the pie charts about energy production in two separate years. It covers some key features such as the comparison between gas and coal production in 1995 and 2005, and mentions the percentage changes in nuclear energy production. However, the presentation lacks clarity and coherence. There are several inaccuracies, such as the comparison of petro in 2005 being described as "2 times as less" than in 1995, which is unclear and incorrect. Additionally, the essay lacks proper organization and detail, making it difficult to follow.
How to improve: Focus on presenting a clearer overview of the main trends and comparisons between the two years. Provide accurate percentages and avoid confusing or inaccurate descriptions. Structure the essay in a more coherent manner, with clear transitions between ideas and better use of language to convey the information effectively.]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4.0
Explanation: The essay presents information about energy production but lacks coherence and clarity. The organization of ideas is not clear, with no evident progression in the response. There are issues with the use of cohesive devices, leading to inaccuracies and repetitive language. Additionally, paragraphing is inadequate and confusing, making it difficult for the reader to follow the essay’s structure.
How to improve: To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on organizing the essay logically. Ensure that ideas are presented in a clear sequence with a clear progression. Use cohesive devices effectively to connect sentences and paragraphs. Also, pay attention to paragraphing, ensuring each paragraph addresses a distinct aspect of the topic and follows a logical order. Additionally, aim for accuracy and clarity in language use to avoid repetition and confusion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, with some inaccuracies and errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation. While there is an attempt to use varied vocabulary, it lacks precision and consistency. Some sentences are unclear due to errors and awkward phrasing.

How to improve: Focus on expanding vocabulary to convey ideas more precisely. Pay attention to word choice, spelling, and sentence structure to improve clarity and coherence. Review grammar rules to ensure accurate word formation and usage. Practice writing to enhance fluency and coherence in expressing ideas.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures and lacks accuracy in usage. Simple sentences are predominant, with occasional attempts at complex structures. However, errors in grammar and punctuation significantly hinder comprehension. The essay struggles with subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and article usage, leading to distortions in meaning and readability issues.

How to improve: To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, focus on utilizing a wider variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and article usage. Proofread the essay carefully to identify and correct errors in grammar and punctuation, ensuring clarity and coherence in communication. Additionally, practice writing more complex sentences and vary your vocabulary to enhance the overall quality of the essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided pie charts illustrate data concerning energy production in a particular country across two distinct years.

In both 1995 and 2005, gas and coal were the predominant sources of energy production. Specifically, in 1995, gas and coal accounted for 29.80% and 29.63% of energy production, respectively. Petro energy trailed slightly behind at 29.27%, while nuclear energy represented a mere 5.88%. Conversely, other sources collectively comprised the smallest portion of energy production.

By 2005, coal experienced a modest increase to 30.93%, surpassing gas which accounted for 30.31%. Petro energy declined notably to 19.55%, approximately half of its 1995 proportion. Meanwhile, nuclear energy demonstrated a significant rise, reaching 10.10%. Other energy sources remained minimal at 9.10%.

In summary, while gas and coal maintained their dominance in energy production over the years, there were notable shifts in the contributions of petro and nuclear energy, with the latter experiencing substantial growth by 2005.