The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual income in 2007, 2011, and 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual income in 2007, 2011, and 2015.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart illustrates how many US households divided by their income distribution from 2007 to 2015.
Overall, there was an increase in all five groups examined, with earning more $100,000 group witnessing the most dramatic rise. In addition, the American household whose yearly income was $75000 to $100000 had been the biggest income group throughout the period shown.
The number of US households whose annual income was less than $25000 started at around 25 million, after which it experienced a rise to nearly 30 in 2011, before ending the period at 27 million. Similarly, the figure for groups earning $25000-50000 per year and more than $100000 were at 27 and nearly 30 millions respectively, followed by a significant increase to 29 million with a former and the latter peaking at 33 million approximately in the final year.
In 2007, 21 million households made $50,000 to $75,000 , with a subsequent steady and a final still remain unchanged. Similar change can be seen in the figure for earning $75000 to $100000 group, which reached at just under 15 million in the whole period.


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Errors and Improvements:

  1. "divided by their income distribution" -> "divided by income bracket"
    Explanation: "Income distribution" refers to how income is spread across a population, not how households are categorized by income levels. "Income bracket" is a more accurate term for the categories shown on the chart.

  2. "with earning more $100,000 group witnessing" -> "with the group earning over $100,000 witnessing"
    Explanation: "Earning more $100,000 group" is awkward phrasing. "The group earning over $100,000" is more grammatically correct and clearer in meaning.

  3. "whose yearly income was $75000 to $100000" -> "with annual incomes ranging from $75,000 to $100,000"
    Explanation: The original phrase is unnecessarily wordy. Simplifying it to "with annual incomes ranging from $75,000 to $100,000" is clearer and more concise.

  4. "started at around 25 million, after which it experienced a rise to nearly 30 in 2011" -> "started at around 25 million, then rose to nearly 30 million in 2011"
    Explanation: The original phrasing is unclear. Adding "million" after "nearly 30" clarifies that the number refers to millions of households.

  5. "followed by a significant increase to 29 million with a former and the latter peaking at 33 million approximately in the final year" -> "followed by a significant increase to 29 million, while the former and latter peaked at approximately 33 million in the final year"
    Explanation: The original sentence is confusing and lacks clarity in distinguishing between the different income groups. This revision clarifies the sequence of events.

  6. "21 million households made $50,000 to $75,000" -> "21 million households earned $50,000 to $75,000"
    Explanation: "Made" is not the most appropriate verb to describe earning income. "Earned" is a more suitable term in this context.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5

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Band Score: 5

Explanation:
The essay generally addresses the task and provides some data to support the description. However, the overview is unclear, and the reporting lacks coherence and accuracy in several areas. The key features are presented, but the narrative includes inaccuracies and awkward phrasing, leading to confusion in some places. There are also grammatical issues, leading to unclear expressions and limited coherence.

How to improve:
To achieve a higher score, consider refining the overview and ensure clear, accurate descriptions of trends and figures. Correct any grammatical mistakes to improve clarity and coherence. It’s essential to select and report information in a way that is logical and precise, avoiding awkward phrasing and errors in terminology. Aim to provide a clear summary and effectively compare the data across the specified years.
]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a generally coherent manner, with a clear attempt to summarize the data presented in the bar chart. There is a discernible progression throughout the essay, starting with an overview statement and then discussing each income group sequentially. However, there are instances of faulty cohesion within and between sentences, leading to occasional confusion. Additionally, there are some issues with referencing and substitution, which affect the clarity of the essay.

How to improve: To improve coherence and cohesion, strive for clearer transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Ensure that cohesive devices are used effectively and accurately to maintain logical connections between ideas. Additionally, focus on improving referencing and substitution to avoid repetition and enhance clarity. Finally, organize paragraphs logically, ensuring each one presents a clear central topic related to the main features and comparisons of the data.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, covering a variety of income categories and describing trends over time. Some less common vocabulary items are used, but there are instances of inaccuracy in word choice and collocation, such as "witnessing the most dramatic rise" and "had been the biggest income group." There are also several errors in word formation and spelling, such as "whose yearly income was $75000" (missing space) and "peaking at 33 million approximately" (awkward phrasing and lack of clarity). These errors do not significantly impede communication, but they do affect the overall clarity and precision of the essay.

How to improve: To improve the lexical resource, focus on using vocabulary more precisely and accurately. Pay attention to word choice and collocation to ensure that sentences flow smoothly and convey intended meanings clearly. Additionally, proofread carefully for spelling and word formation errors to enhance the overall readability of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, covering the main features and making comparisons as required by the prompt. There is an attempt to use varied sentence structures, although some sentences are convoluted or lack clarity. While there are errors in grammar and punctuation throughout the essay, they do not significantly hinder communication. The essay adequately summarizes the information provided in the chart, presenting an overview of the trends observed in US household incomes over the specified period.

How to improve:
To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, focus on using a wider variety of sentence structures, including both simple and complex sentences. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and punctuation. Proofreading for grammatical errors and sentence clarity before submission can help improve the overall coherence and readability of the essay. Additionally, strive for more precise and concise expression to avoid ambiguity and ensure clarity in conveying information.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided bar chart delineates the distribution of US households based on their annual income from 2007 to 2015. Overall, there was an upward trend in all income brackets, with the group earning over $100,000 experiencing the most significant increase. Notably, households earning between $75,000 and $100,000 constituted the largest income segment throughout the period under consideration.

Beginning with households earning less than $25,000 annually, their number started at approximately 25 million in 2007, peaked at nearly 30 million in 2011, and then decreased slightly to 27 million by 2015. Likewise, households earning between $25,000 and $50,000 annually and those earning over $100,000 initially stood at around 27 million each. However, by the end of the period, the former witnessed a notable increase to 29 million, while the latter peaked at approximately 33 million in 2015.

In 2007, around 21 million households earned between $50,000 and $75,000 annually, a figure which remained relatively stable throughout the period. A similar pattern is observed in the group earning $75,000 to $100,000, which hovered just under 15 million households across the entire timeframe.

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