The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table and pie chart below illustrates the type of job professions and range of salaries after 5 years working from Anthropology students. It is noticeable that there are 6 types of destinations after completing the Anthropology degree courses and 3 kinds of professional development working for government, companies, and freelance.

It can be clearly seen that the majority of students decide to take part in jobs that require full-time participation, accounting for above half of the proportion. Having the similar percentage at approximately 8%, there is an amount of people who have decided to join the full-time post graduation study while others still hesitate what to do after graduation.

Regarding the job development after 5 years’ work, even though there is only 5% of workers receiving 25,000$ to under 50,000$, half of students graduating from Anthropology major earns around 100,000$. Being a freelancer, approximately 80% of consultants can achieve from 75,000$ to about 100,000$, marking as a high-demanding job.

According to the illustration, most students have actively participated in both working and studying after their graduation from Anthropology major. It is clearly demonstrated that the majority of them receive a high-salary job from above 75,000$.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "The table and pie chart below illustrates" -> "The table and pie chart below illustrate"
   Explanation: The verb "illustrates" should be in plural form "illustrate" to agree with the plural subject "table and pie chart."

2. "type of job professions" -> "types of job professions"
   Explanation: "Type" should be plural "types" because the context indicates multiple categories of professions.

3. "range of salaries" -> "ranges of salaries"
   Explanation: Similar to the previous point, "range" should be plural "ranges" to reflect multiple categories.

4. "It is noticeable that there are" -> "It is notable that there are"
   Explanation: "Notable" is more precise in this context, meaning worthy of attention; "noticeable" simply means capable of being noticed.

5. "6 types of destinations" -> "six career paths"
   Explanation: "Destinations" is misleading as it implies physical locations; "career paths" is a more accurate and formal term for job types or roles.

6. "3 kinds of professional development" -> "three categories of professional development"
   Explanation: "Kinds" is informal; "categories" is more formal and precise. Also, numerical values under ten should generally be written out in formal writing.

7. "above half of the proportion" -> "over half of the total"
   Explanation: "Above half of the proportion" is awkward and unclear; "over half of the total" is clearer and more direct.

8. "Having the similar percentage at approximately 8%" -> "Each accounting for approximately 8%"
   Explanation: "Having the similar percentage" is awkward and imprecise; "Each accounting for" is clearer and more specific to the subjects being discussed.

9. "there is an amount of people" -> "there are several individuals"
   Explanation: "An amount of people" is incorrect because "amount" is used with uncountable nouns. "Several individuals" is grammatically correct and more precise.

10. "what to do after graduation" -> "their next steps after graduation"
    Explanation: "What to do after graduation" is informal and vague; "their next steps after graduation" is more formal and clear.

11. "5% of workers receiving 25,000$ to under 50,000$" -> "5% of workers earning between $25,000 and $50,000"
    Explanation: "Receiving" should be "earning" for clarity and formality in the context of salaries; also, the placement of the dollar sign should precede the amount, and "to under" is non-standard and awkward.

12. "half of students graduating" -> "half of the students graduating"
    Explanation: The definite article "the" is necessary here for specificity and formal tone.

13. "Being a freelancer" -> "As freelancers"
    Explanation: "Being a freelancer" is awkward and ambiguous in this context; "As freelancers" provides a clearer and more grammatically correct subject for the clause.

14. "a high-demanding job" -> "a high-demand job"
    Explanation: "High-demanding" is not standard; "high-demand" is the correct term, indicating a job in high demand.

15. "It is clearly demonstrated that" -> "It is evident that"
    Explanation: "It is clearly demonstrated that" is verbose and slightly awkward; "It is evident that" simplifies and clarifies the expression.

16. "from above 75,000$" -> "exceeding $75,000"
    Explanation: "From above" is awkward and incorrect in this context; "exceeding" is clearer and the dollar sign should precede the amount.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the provided data, including the types of job professions and the range of salaries for Anthropology graduates after five years. It presents an overview of the data, mentioning the different destinations after completing the degree courses and the types of professional development. Key features such as the proportion of students in full-time jobs, post-graduation study, and freelancing are highlighted. However, there are some inaccuracies and areas where the information could be more effectively presented. For instance, the description of salary ranges is somewhat unclear, and the percentages mentioned in the essay do not always align with the data provided in the prompt.

How to improve:
To improve, ensure that all details accurately reflect the data provided in the prompt. Provide clearer descriptions of the salary ranges and percentages to avoid confusion. Additionally, focus on presenting information more concisely and logically to enhance clarity and coherence.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information and ideas coherently with a clear overall progression. The introduction sets the context by mentioning the chart and table, followed by a general overview of the main features. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as awkward transitions between sentences and repetition of ideas. Additionally, while the essay has paragraphs, their logical flow could be improved for better coherence and cohesion.

How to improve:

1. Transition Words and Phrases: Incorporate more transition words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. For example, words like "Moreover," "Furthermore," and "However" can help connect ideas more smoothly.
2. Avoid Repetition: Try to avoid repeating ideas or phrases, such as mentioning the high salaries multiple times without additional elaboration or variation.
3. Paragraph Structure: Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and follows a logical progression of ideas. This can enhance both coherence and cohesion within the essay.

By addressing these areas, the essay can improve its coherence and cohesion, potentially moving towards a higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
This essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, including some less common lexical items (e.g., "professional development," "post graduation study," "high-demanding job"). However, there are inaccuracies in word choice and collocation (e.g., "there is an amount of people," "join the full-time post graduation study"). The essay makes some errors in spelling and word formation, such as "participation" instead of "participate," and "graduate" instead of "graduation," but these errors do not impede communication. Overall, the vocabulary used is suitable for the task but lacks the sophistication and accuracy expected for higher bands.

How to improve:
To improve, focus on using a wider range of vocabulary more accurately. Pay attention to word choice and collocation to convey meanings precisely. Additionally, review spelling and word formation to reduce errors and improve clarity.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an attempt at a range of grammatical structures, including both simple and complex sentences. However, there are noticeable grammatical errors throughout the essay, such as incorrect verb tense agreement ("the majority of students decide"), awkward phrasing ("there is an amount of people"), and punctuation errors ("$ to under 50,000$"). While some complex sentences are attempted, they often lack accuracy, which impacts the clarity of communication.

How to improve: To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, focus on using a wider variety of sentence structures with more precision. Ensure subject-verb agreement, use appropriate verb tenses, and pay attention to punctuation. Proofreading and editing for grammatical errors will help enhance the overall clarity and coherence of the essay. Additionally, strive for more accurate and precise expression of ideas to reduce ambiguity and improve readability.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided table and pie chart offer insights into the post-undergraduate trajectories and salary distributions of Anthropology graduates after five years. The data showcases six distinct career paths pursued by graduates, encompassing employment in government, corporate sectors, and freelancing.

It is evident that a significant proportion of graduates opt for full-time employment, constituting more than half of the cohort. Similarly, a notable percentage, approximately 8%, chooses to engage in further full-time postgraduate studies, while some remain undecided about their career paths post-graduation.

In terms of career progression after five years of work, while only 5% of individuals fall within the salary range of $25,000 to under $50,000, a substantial portion of graduates, approximately half, earn around $100,000. Freelancing emerges as a lucrative option, with approximately 80% of consultants earning between $75,000 to about $100,000, indicating a strong demand for such roles.

The data underscores the active engagement of most graduates in both professional work and continued education following their Anthropology degree. Notably, a majority secure high-paying positions with salaries exceeding $75,000.