You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Write at least 150 words.

The charts below describes how the ownership of electrical appliances have been changed and how much time households spent to do the hoasework during the 1920 and 2018 period in country.
one
In overall, the Percentage of Households with appliances (1920-2019) graph has shown mainly the upward trends. And the amount of times. for house work in per week has show the downward treads.
First, in the refrigator features started with 8% and rapidly climb up to 1006 just just for 60 years and keep the pro remained the same to 2019 The Vacuum cleaner category started with 30% and had the same process as the refrigator the washing machine started with 40% and had a small drop them come back with nearly 80% in 2019.
In addition, the number of hours of house work perweek had been decreased every time period until the 1980-2000 period, the trends remained the same and after that, it continued the trends.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

1. "describes" -> "describes"
   Explanation: The verb "describes" should be corrected to its singular form "describe" to match the subject "charts."
2. "have been changed" -> "have changed"
   Explanation: "Have changed" is a more concise and active phrase compared to "have been changed."
3. "hoasework" -> "housework"
   Explanation: "Housework" is the correct spelling of the word, referring to domestic chores.
4. "one" -> "One"
   Explanation: The word "one" should be capitalized to begin the sentence properly.
5. "Percentage" -> "Percentage"
   Explanation: "Percentage" should be capitalized as it starts a sentence.
6. "trends" -> "trends."
   Explanation: A period (.) is missing at the end of the sentence for proper punctuation.
7. "refrigator" -> "refrigerator"
   Explanation: "Refrigerator" is the correct spelling of the word.
8. "just just" -> "just"
   Explanation: The repetition of "just" is unnecessary and should be removed for clarity.
9. "pro remained" -> "percentage remained"
   Explanation: "Pro" seems to be a typo or mistranslation. Replacing it with "percentage" improves clarity.
10. "them" -> "then"
    Explanation: "Them" should be corrected to "then" for grammatical accuracy.
11. "drop them come back" -> "drop, then come back"
    Explanation: Adding a comma before "then" improves the structure of the sentence.
12. "perweek" -> "per week"
    Explanation: "Per week" should be two words for proper grammar.
13. "time period" -> "time periods"
    Explanation: "Time periods" is more appropriate since the context refers to multiple periods.
14. "trends remained the same" -> "trends remained consistent"
    Explanation: Replacing "remained the same" with "remained consistent" provides a more varied and precise expression.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 4

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Band Score: 4.0
Explanation: The essay attempts to address the task by summarizing the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and time spent on housework between 1920 and 2019. However, there are several issues that prevent it from fully meeting the criteria. The essay lacks clarity and coherence in presenting the information, with unclear organization and language errors. There are inaccuracies in data representation, such as stating that refrigerator ownership reached 1006%, which is not plausible. Additionally, there is a lack of comparison between the two sets of data, and key features are not adequately highlighted or extended.
How to improve: Focus on improving clarity and coherence in presenting information. Use accurate data representation and avoid exaggerations. Ensure a clear comparison between the two sets of data provided. Adequately highlight and extend key features, providing more specific details where necessary. Revise language for accuracy and clarity. Ensure appropriate formatting and structure for better readability and comprehension. Consider proofreading the essay for grammar and punctuation errors.]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4.0
Explanation: The essay attempts to summarize the information from the charts regarding changes in ownership of electrical appliances and time spent on housework. However, the organization and coherence of ideas are lacking. There is no clear progression in the presentation of information, with sentences appearing disjointed and lacking logical connections. Basic cohesive devices are used, but inaccurately and repetitively. The lack of clear paragraph structure contributes to the overall confusion of the essay.
How to improve: Focus on structuring the essay with clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Ensure logical progression of ideas with appropriate transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Use cohesive devices accurately and sparingly. Revise for clarity and coherence, avoiding repetition and improving overall cohesion within the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary and basic word formation. There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings throughout the essay, which impede clarity and fluency. The vocabulary used is repetitive and lacks sophistication, with frequent misspellings and word misuse. The essay lacks precise word choices and struggles with conveying ideas effectively. Additionally, the overall structure and coherence of the essay are weak, further diminishing its lexical quality.

How to improve:

1. Expand vocabulary: Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to convey ideas more precisely and effectively. Use synonyms and varied expressions to avoid repetition.
2. Improve word formation and spelling: Pay close attention to word formation and spelling to minimize errors and enhance readability. Utilize spell-check tools and proofreading techniques to correct mistakes.
3. Enhance sentence structure and coherence: Focus on constructing clear and coherent sentences to improve the overall flow and organization of the essay. Ensure logical connections between ideas to enhance readability and comprehension.
4. Practice writing skills: Regular practice in writing tasks, along with seeking feedback and guidance, can help improve lexical resource and overall writing proficiency.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay attempts to use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but there are frequent grammatical errors and punctuation faults throughout the text. Complex sentences are attempted but tend to lack accuracy. The essay lacks coherence due to these errors, causing some difficulty for the reader in understanding the intended message.

How to improve: Focus on sentence structure and grammar accuracy. Pay attention to punctuation rules, especially regarding commas and periods. Practice constructing complex sentences accurately, ensuring they enhance rather than hinder the clarity of the essay. Additionally, proofread carefully to catch and correct errors before submission.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided charts illustrate changes in the ownership of electrical appliances and the amount of time spent on household chores in a particular country from 1920 to 2019.

Overall, the ownership of household appliances witnessed consistent growth throughout the given period, while the time allocated to housework declined.

Beginning with refrigerators, the ownership rate commenced at 8% in 1920 and surged dramatically to 100% by 1980, maintaining this saturation level until 2019. Similarly, the ownership of vacuum cleaners started at 30% in 1920 and followed a comparable trajectory, reaching close to 100% by 1980. Washing machines, initially possessed by 40% of households, experienced a slight decline before resurging to nearly 80% by 2019.

Regarding housework hours per week, a steady decrease was observed until the period between 1980 and 2000. Subsequently, this downward trend persisted, indicating a sustained reduction in the time spent on household chores.

In summary, the data illustrates a consistent rise in appliance ownership alongside a decline in the time allocated to housework over the past century in the surveyed country.