Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these view and give your own opinion.

It is contended that experts in various fields, including medical practitioners and those in the engineering domain, ought to be obliged to practice within their training nation. Conversely, some individuals argue that they should opt for the liberty to pursue career opportunities in any country they prefer. From my viewpoint, professionals could delve into both perspectives impartially, without favoring one side over the other.
On one hand, proponents of the notion that experts should remain in their country of training assert that doing so provide numerous benefits. Firstly, the nation’s economy is bolstered when these highly skilled workers contribute their expertise to local industries. For instance, the proliferation of indigenous technology companies in India can be attributed to the nation’s vast engineering talent pool, which has fostered innovation and economic growth. Moreover, this approach can help alleviate shortages of qualified personnel in certain sectors, such as healthcare. Countries with aging population, such as Japan, rely heavily on their homegrown medical workforce to cater to the needs of their citizens.
Conversely, those who believe that specialists should be accorded the prerogative to work abroad if they appetite highlight the advantages of embracing a globalized workforce. Primarily, working in diverse environments can lead to the acquisition of new skills and knowledge, which can then be shared with colleagues upon returning to their home country. For example, a physician who gains experience in cutting – edge surgical techniques abroad can share these methodologies with their peers, ultimately benefiting the entire medical community. Furthermore, the exchange of expertise and ideas among specialists from different nations can foster cross-cultural understanding, which is an integral part in today’s interconnected world. International collaborations in the fields of science and technology, such as the International Space Station, exemplify the potential of transcending national boundaries to achieve remarkable outcomes.
In conclusion, while compelling arguments can be made for both the requirement to work in one’s nation of training and the freedom to pursue opportunities abroad, it is clear that each perspectives holds its own merits. It is ultimately up to individual societies and governments to weigh the pros and cons of each approach and implement policies that best serve the needs of their citizens and the global community.

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Errors and Improvements:

"ought to be obliged" -> "should be obligated"
Explanation: "ought to be obliged" is a bit redundant and less formal. "Should be obligated" maintains the meaning while using a more formal and concise expression.
"Conversely, some individuals argue" -> "In contrast, some proponents argue"
Explanation: "Conversely" is slightly informal. "In contrast" is a more formal transition. "Some individuals" could be replaced with "proponents" for specificity and formality.
"From my viewpoint" -> "In my perspective"
Explanation: "From my viewpoint" is more casual. "In my perspective" is a formal alternative that maintains clarity.
"delve into" -> "consider"
Explanation: "Delve into" is slightly informal. "Consider" is a more precise and formal alternative.
"assert" -> "argue"
Explanation: While "assert" is not incorrect, "argue" is a more common and formal term in academic writing.
"provide numerous benefits" -> "offer various advantages"
Explanation: "Provide numerous benefits" is somewhat repetitive and less formal. "Offer various advantages" provides a more diverse and formal expression.
"proliferation" -> "growth"
Explanation: "Proliferation" is not incorrect but might be perceived as overly complex. "Growth" is a simpler and equally effective term in this context.
"indigenous" -> "domestic"
Explanation: "Indigenous" primarily refers to native peoples or flora/fauna. "Domestic" is more appropriate when referring to local industries or technologies.
"can be attributed to" -> "can be credited to"
Explanation: "Can be attributed to" is correct but slightly less formal. "Can be credited to" maintains the meaning while being more concise and formal.
"alleviate shortages" -> "address shortages"
Explanation: "Alleviate" is slightly less formal. "Address" is a more direct and formal alternative.
"homegrown medical workforce" -> "domestic medical professionals"
Explanation: "Homegrown" is more informal. "Domestic medical professionals" is a formal alternative that maintains clarity.
"accorded the prerogative to work" -> "given the opportunity to work"
Explanation: "Accorded the prerogative to work" is slightly verbose. "Given the opportunity to work" is more concise and formal.
"if they appetite" -> "if they desire"
Explanation: "If they appetite" is grammatically incorrect. "If they desire" is a correct and more formal alternative.
"Primarily" -> "Firstly"
Explanation: "Primarily" is less common in formal writing. "Firstly" is a more suitable term for introducing the first point in an argument.
"cutting-edge" -> "state-of-the-art"
Explanation: "Cutting-edge" is more colloquial. "State-of-the-art" is a formal alternative often used in academic contexts.
"methodologies" -> "techniques"
Explanation: "Methodologies" is slightly more technical. "Techniques" is a simpler and equally appropriate term in this context.
"entire medical community" -> "whole medical community"
Explanation: "Entire" is somewhat informal. "Whole" is a more formal alternative with the same meaning.
"furthermore" -> "Moreover"
Explanation: "Furthermore" is less formal. "Moreover" is a more appropriate transition in academic writing.
"cross-cultural understanding" -> "intercultural comprehension"
Explanation: "Cross-cultural understanding" is accurate but slightly informal. "Intercultural comprehension" is a more formal alternative.
"it is clear that each perspectives holds" -> "each perspective holds"
Explanation: "It is clear that each perspectives holds" contains a grammatical error and is less formal. Removing "it is clear that" and correcting "perspectives" to "perspective" maintains clarity and formality.
"up to individual societies and governments" -> "the responsibility of individual societies and governments"
Explanation: "Up to" is somewhat informal. "The responsibility of" is a more formal and precise expression.
"weigh the pros and cons" -> "consider the advantages and disadvantages"
Explanation: "Weigh the pros and cons" is a bit informal. "Consider the advantages and disadvantages" is a more formal alternative that maintains clarity.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both perspectives outlined in the prompt. It discusses the argument that professionals should work in the country where they received their training and also presents the opposing view that they should have the freedom to work in any country. Additionally, the writer provides their own opinion, stating that both perspectives have valid points.
- How to improve: While the essay covers both perspectives, there could be a bit more depth in the discussion of the writer’s opinion. Explaining why they believe both perspectives have merit and how this impacts their own viewpoint would enhance the response.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear and consistent stance throughout. It acknowledges both arguments without showing bias towards either side and presents a balanced perspective. The writer’s opinion is clearly stated in the introduction and reiterated in the conclusion.
- How to improve: To further strengthen clarity, the writer could reinforce their position by explicitly connecting it to the arguments presented in the body paragraphs. This could involve more explicit statements indicating how each perspective influenced their own viewpoint.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents, extends, and supports ideas with relevant examples and logical reasoning. Each perspective is elaborated upon with specific examples, such as the impact of professionals working in their home country on the economy and the benefits of gaining international experience. Furthermore, the ideas are well-developed and logically connected throughout the essay.
- How to improve: While the essay provides solid examples and reasoning, further elaboration on the potential drawbacks or challenges associated with each perspective could enhance the depth of analysis. Exploring potential counterarguments and addressing them would strengthen the overall argumentation.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay largely stays on topic, discussing the two perspectives presented in the prompt and the writer’s own opinion on the matter. However, there are a few instances where the discussion slightly veers off track, such as the mention of the International Space Station, which could be seen as tangential to the main argument.
- How to improve: To maintain a tighter focus on the topic, the writer should ensure that all examples and arguments directly relate to the discussion of whether professionals should be required to work in their training country or have the freedom to work elsewhere. Removing or rephrasing tangential points would help streamline the essay’s focus.

Overall, the essay demonstrates strong task response by addressing the prompt comprehensively, maintaining a clear position, presenting well-developed ideas with supporting evidence, and largely staying on topic. With some refinement in depth of analysis and focus, the essay could further enhance its coherence and effectiveness.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally logical organization of information. It begins with a clear introduction that presents both sides of the argument and transitions smoothly into body paragraphs discussing each perspective in turn. The conclusion neatly summarizes the main points and presents a balanced view. However, there are a few areas where the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition between paragraphs could be more seamless, with clearer linking of ideas from one point to the next.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using more explicit transition phrases or sentences between paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph builds upon the previous one logically, maintaining a clear progression of ideas throughout the essay.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs effectively to structure the discussion. Each paragraph is dedicated to a specific aspect of the argument, such as the benefits of professionals staying in their training country versus the advantages of working abroad. The structure within paragraphs is generally coherent, with clear topic sentences introducing the main idea of each paragraph.
- How to improve: While the overall paragraph structure is sound, pay attention to varying sentence structures within paragraphs to avoid monotony. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph remains focused on one central idea, providing sufficient supporting details or examples.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay makes moderate use of cohesive devices to link ideas and facilitate coherence. There are instances of cohesive devices such as transition words (e.g., "conversely," "primarily," "furthermore") and pronouns (e.g., "this approach," "those who believe"). However, the variety and effectiveness of these devices could be enhanced to strengthen coherence further.
- How to improve: Incorporate a wider range of cohesive devices, including conjunctions, transitional phrases, and synonyms, to create smoother connections between sentences and paragraphs. For example, use cohesive devices to clearly signal shifts between contrasting viewpoints or to reinforce connections between supporting points within paragraphs.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion, there are opportunities to refine the logical organization, paragraph structure, and use of cohesive devices to achieve a more polished and cohesive presentation of ideas. By incorporating these suggestions, the essay could effectively enhance its coherence and cohesion to potentially achieve a higher band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, encompassing diverse terms and expressions to convey ideas effectively. For instance, phrases such as "highly skilled workers," "indigenous technology companies," "acquisition of new skills," and "transcending national boundaries" showcase a breadth of lexical resource. Additionally, the use of varied vocabulary enhances clarity and sophistication in presenting arguments.
- How to improve: To further enrich the lexical resource, consider incorporating more specialized terminology related to the fields discussed, such as specific medical or engineering terms. Additionally, utilizing synonyms or exploring nuanced vocabulary choices can enhance precision and depth in conveying ideas.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a proficient level of precision in vocabulary usage. However, there are instances where word choice could be more exact to convey intended meanings more effectively. For example, in the phrase "accorded the prerogative," the word "prerogative" might not precisely capture the idea of freedom or choice in this context. Similarly, the phrase "if they appetite" seems to be a typographical error and could be revised for clarity.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, ensure that each word chosen aligns precisely with the intended meaning. Utilize dictionaries or thesauruses to explore alternative terms that may convey the desired nuance more accurately. Additionally, proofreading for typographical errors can help maintain clarity and professionalism in vocabulary usage.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits a high level of spelling accuracy, with minimal errors detracting from readability. However, there are a few instances where spelling inaccuracies are present, such as "appetite" instead of "appropriate." While these errors do not significantly impede comprehension, maintaining consistent spelling accuracy enhances the overall professionalism and clarity of the essay.
- How to improve: Implementing strategies such as proofreading carefully, utilizing spell-check tools, and practicing spelling exercises can help minimize errors and ensure consistent accuracy. Additionally, seeking feedback from peers or educators can provide valuable insights into areas for improvement in spelling proficiency.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures, enhancing its overall readability and sophistication. The author employs complex sentences with introductory clauses ("It is contended that…"; "Conversely, those who believe…"), compound sentences ("For instance, the proliferation…"; "Furthermore, the exchange…"), and compound-complex sentences ("Moreover, this approach can help alleviate shortages…"). These structures effectively convey nuanced ideas and arguments.
- How to improve: To further enrich the essay’s grammatical range, consider incorporating more rhetorical devices such as parallelism, rhetorical questions, or balanced sentences. Additionally, ensure coherence and cohesion in complex sentences to avoid potential confusion for the reader.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a high level of grammatical accuracy, with minimal errors detracting from the clarity of the message. The author effectively utilizes correct subject-verb agreement, pronoun reference, and tense consistency throughout the essay. Punctuation marks, including commas, hyphens, and semicolons, are appropriately used to enhance clarity and structure.
- How to improve: While the essay maintains a strong grasp of grammar and punctuation, attention to minor errors such as missing articles ("the liberty to pursue career opportunities"), inconsistency in hyphenation ("cutting-edge" vs. "homegrown"), and potential typographical errors ("if they appetite" should be "if they desire" or "if they so choose") can further polish the writing. Reviewing for consistency in punctuation styles, especially regarding the use of serial commas and semicolons, would contribute to a flawless presentation.

Overall, the essay effectively balances a wide range of sentence structures with accurate grammar and punctuation usage, contributing to its coherent and sophisticated presentation. Continued practice in diversifying sentence structures and meticulous proofreading for grammatical accuracy will further enhance the quality of future writing endeavors.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is argued that professionals, like doctors and engineers, should be obligated to work in the country where they received their training. In contrast, some proponents argue that they should be free to work in another country if they desire. In my perspective, professionals could consider both views impartially.

On one hand, those advocating for mandatory practice in the country of training suggest several advantages. Firstly, this boosts the nation’s economy when skilled workers contribute to local industries. For instance, India’s engineering talent pool has led to the growth of indigenous technology companies, fostering innovation and economic growth. Additionally, this can address shortages of qualified personnel, particularly in sectors like healthcare. Countries with aging populations, such as Japan, rely on their domestic medical professionals to cater to citizens’ needs.

On the other hand, those supporting the freedom to work abroad emphasize the benefits of a globalized workforce. Working in diverse environments can lead to acquiring new skills and knowledge, which can then be shared upon returning home. For instance, a physician who gains experience in state-of-the-art surgical techniques abroad can benefit the entire medical community by sharing these methods with colleagues. Moreover, international collaborations can foster intercultural comprehension, exemplified by projects like the International Space Station.

In conclusion, while there are advantages to both mandatory practice in one’s training nation and the freedom to work abroad, it’s clear that each perspective holds merit. The responsibility lies with individual societies and governments to consider the advantages and disadvantages of each approach, implementing policies that best serve their citizens and the global community.