The chart and table below give information about population figures in Japan. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
The chart and table below give information about population figures in Japan.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
You should write at least 150 words.
The provided bar chart shows the documment about janpanese population in the past, present and future. It is apperent that the resident in Japan experienced a significant growth in the future through years and probably decreased after 2005.
As is evident in the bar chart, the data hits the lowest point in 1950 accounting for 84.1 and reaches tthe highest point in 2005 accounting for 127.8 millions people. from the period of 1950 to 2005, the data raised relatively stably. However, it had many variations after 2005. The population got considerble decline from 2005 to 2055. Specificly, the data in 2005,2020,2015,2035 and 2055 are respectively 127.8, 127.1, 125.4, 110, 89.9.
according to data table, the object need taking into consideration is the population aged 65 years or over in 1950, 2005, 2035, and 2055. In 1950, there was 4.1 millions people getting 4.9%. 25.7 millions people in age of 65 or over accounts for 20% in 2005. Also, The percentage in 2035 and 20055 is resppectiveely 34% and 41%.
In general, it is clearlly seen that the population in Japan has signifiacnt shists through years.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"documment" -> "data representation"
Explanation: "Documment" appears to be a misspelling of "document." However, in this context, referring to the bar chart as a "data representation" is more precise and formal. -
"It is apperent" -> "It is evident"
Explanation: "Apperent" is misspelled; "evident" is a more accurate term to indicate clarity or obviousness. -
"resident" -> "population"
Explanation: "Resident" typically refers to individuals living in a specific place, whereas "population" refers to the total number of people within a region, which is more suitable in this context. -
"significant growth in the future through years" -> "substantial growth over the years"
Explanation: "Through years" is awkward and less precise. "Substantial growth over the years" communicates the idea more clearly and concisely. -
"probably" -> "likely"
Explanation: "Probably" suggests uncertainty, while "likely" is a more confident term to indicate probability or expectation. -
"decreased" -> "declined"
Explanation: "Decreased" is a general term, while "declined" specifically denotes a decrease in value, which is more appropriate in this context. -
"as is evident" -> "as indicated"
Explanation: "As is evident" is redundant; "as indicated" is a concise alternative that maintains clarity. -
"hits the lowest point" -> "reaches the lowest point"
Explanation: "Hits" is more colloquial, while "reaches" is more formal and precise in this context. -
"accounting for 84.1" -> "amounting to 84.1"
Explanation: "Accounting for" is typically used to explain or justify something, while "amounting to" is more appropriate when indicating a numerical value. -
"and reaches tthe highest point" -> "and peaks"
Explanation: "Reaches the highest point" can be replaced with "peaks" for brevity and variety in expression. -
"relatively stably" -> "relatively steadily"
Explanation: "Stably" is less common than "steadily" in this context, where the emphasis is on consistency over time. -
"considerble decline" -> "significant decline"
Explanation: "Considerable" is a weaker modifier compared to "significant," which better conveys the extent of the decline. -
"Specificly" -> "Specifically"
Explanation: "Specificly" is a misspelling; "specifically" is the correct adverb form. -
"data in 2005,2020,2015,2035 and 2055 are respectively" -> "data for 2005, 2020, 2015, 2035, and 2055 respectively"
Explanation: The original phrase lacks clarity and correct punctuation. Rearranging and adding "for" improves readability and adherence to standard usage. -
"according to data table" -> "according to the data table"
Explanation: Adding "the" before "data table" clarifies the reference and makes the sentence grammatically correct. -
"object need taking into consideration" -> "aspect that needs to be considered"
Explanation: "Object" is not the appropriate term here. "Aspect" is more fitting for discussing elements of the data. Additionally, restructuring the phrase improves clarity and grammar. -
"getting" -> "accounting for"
Explanation: "Getting" is informal; "accounting for" is a more precise phrase to describe a portion or percentage of a population. -
"resppectiveely" -> "respectively"
Explanation: "Resppectiveely" is a misspelling; "respectively" is the correct term to indicate the correspondence between items in a list. -
"signifiacnt shists" -> "significant shifts"
Explanation: "Shists" is a misspelling; "shifts" is the correct term to describe changes or alterations in the population over time.
Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5.0
Explanation:
The essay attempts to address the task by summarizing population figures in Japan based on a provided chart and table. It provides an overview of the main trends and figures depicted in the data. However, the response is mechanically recounted and lacks a clear and coherent structure.
How to improve:
To improve the Task Achievement score:
- Ensure the essay fully covers all key features and comparisons outlined in the prompt.
- Focus on presenting a clear overview of the data with appropriate detail and organization.
- Avoid vague or imprecise language; provide specific data points and trends to support the summary.
- Work on improving sentence structure, grammar, and coherence to enhance clarity and effectiveness of communication.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 4
Band Score: 4.0
Explanation: The essay attempts to address the main features of the population figures in Japan, but it lacks coherence and cohesion. There is some organization evident, such as mentioning past, present, and future populations, but the progression is not clear. The essay jumps between years without a smooth transition, and there are inaccuracies and inconsistencies in the data presentation. Basic cohesive devices are used, but they are repetitive and sometimes inaccurate. Paragraphing is attempted, but it’s confusing and doesn’t contribute to the overall coherence.
How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the essay should begin with a clear introduction that outlines the main trends in the data. Each paragraph should focus on a specific time period or aspect of the population figures, with smooth transitions between them. Accurate and consistent data presentation is crucial for clarity. Additionally, using a variety of cohesive devices appropriately can help connect ideas more effectively. Paying attention to paragraph structure and ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting details will also improve coherence. Finally, proofreading for errors in spelling, grammar, and punctuation is necessary for clarity and professionalism.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5.0
Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, which is minimally adequate for the task. The writer attempts to convey information about population figures in Japan but lacks precision and variety in word choice. There are noticeable errors in spelling and word formation throughout the essay, such as "documment," "janpanese," "apperent," "tthe," "considerble," "Specificly," "object," "resppectiveely," and "signifiacnt." These errors may cause some difficulty for the reader in understanding the message. Additionally, the vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, lacking sophistication and depth.
How to improve:
To enhance the lexical resource, focus on expanding vocabulary and using more precise and appropriate terminology related to the topic. Proofreading for spelling and word formation errors is crucial to ensure clarity and coherence. Additionally, incorporating a wider range of vocabulary with more sophisticated and varied expressions will improve the overall quality of the essay. Practice writing with attention to vocabulary usage and accuracy to gradually improve lexical resource skills.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates an attempt to use a variety of sentence structures, including both simple and complex sentences. However, there are several grammatical errors and inaccuracies throughout the essay, such as misspellings ("documment," "janpanese"), punctuation errors, and awkward phrasing ("reached tthe highest point," "raised relatively stably"). While the essay provides some comparisons and summaries of the data presented, these are often unclear or inaccurate due to language errors.
How to improve: To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, focus on enhancing sentence structures by incorporating a wider variety of complex sentences. Additionally, proofread the essay carefully to correct spelling, punctuation, and grammatical errors. Pay close attention to verb tense consistency and word choice to ensure clarity and accuracy in conveying information. Practicing writing with a greater variety of sentence structures and seeking feedback on grammar and language use can also be beneficial.
Bài sửa mẫu
The provided visual aids illustrate population trends in Japan over different time periods. It is apparent that Japan’s population experienced significant growth in the past but is projected to decline in the future.
Looking at the bar chart, it is evident that the population reached its lowest point in 1950, with 84.1 million residents, and peaked in 2005, with 127.8 million people. From 1950 to 2005, the population showed relatively stable growth. However, after 2005, there were considerable fluctuations. Specifically, the population declined significantly from 2005 to 2055, with figures for 2005, 2020, 2015, 2035, and 2055 being 127.8, 127.1, 125.4, 110, and 89.9 million, respectively.
According to the data table, it is noteworthy to consider the population aged 65 years or over in 1950, 2005, 2035, and 2055. In 1950, there were 4.1 million people aged 65 or over, accounting for 4.9% of the total population. This proportion increased substantially by 2005, with 25.7 million individuals in this age group, representing 20% of the population. The percentages further increased to 34% in 2035 and 41% in 2055.
In conclusion, the population in Japan has experienced significant shifts over the years, with notable growth followed by projected declines in the future.
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