The graph gives information about coffee production in 4 different countries from 1990 to 2010 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph gives information about coffee production in 4 different countries from 1990 to 2010
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar charts gives information about coffee production in 4 different countries from 1990 to 2010. Overall, the charts is splited up two group about decline and grow. Brazil is the largest coffee production in the chart and Columbia is decreased.
Look into the charts, Brazil have a fantastic jump from 0,7 million tons production in 1990 to one nine million tons in 2010. Next, the growth in Indonesia just appear from 0,2 million tons in 1990 to 0,4 million tons in 2000 and number of coffee production in 2000 and 2010 is the same. Nearly same Indonesia, quantity of production in 1990 and 1995 is not change but amount of production 2000 to 2010 is increased triple from 0,1 million tons to 0,3 million tons.
In contrast, Columbia is only one country fall in the charts. The out put of coffee production decreased from 0,6 million tons to 0,3 million tons.
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Errors and Improvements:
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"The bar charts gives information" -> "The bar charts provide information"
Explanation: "Gives" is a less formal and precise term compared to "provide" when discussing data presentation. -
"is splited up two group" -> "is divided into two groups"
Explanation: "Splited up" is grammatically incorrect; "divided into" is a more appropriate and standard phrase to describe the separation of data. -
"Brazil is the largest coffee production" -> "Brazil has the largest coffee production"
Explanation: "Largest coffee production" should be followed by "has" to maintain grammatical correctness. -
"Columbia is decreased" -> "Colombia has decreased"
Explanation: "Is decreased" lacks grammatical accuracy; "has decreased" is the correct form to indicate a decrease over time. -
"Look into the charts" -> "Looking at the charts"
Explanation: "Look into" is an informal and less precise phrase compared to "Looking at" when referring to analyzing visual data. -
"have a fantastic jump" -> "experienced a significant increase"
Explanation: "Fantastic jump" is colloquial; "experienced a significant increase" is a more formal and precise description of the data trend. -
"one nine million tons" -> "nineteen million tons"
Explanation: "one nine" is unclear and should be written as "nineteen" for clarity and precision. -
"just appear from" -> "rose from"
Explanation: "Just appear from" lacks clarity and precision; "rose from" accurately describes the increase in coffee production over time. -
"quantity of production" -> "production quantity"
Explanation: "Quantity of production" is awkwardly phrased; "production quantity" is a more natural and standard term order. -
"is increased triple" -> "increased threefold"
Explanation: "Is increased triple" is grammatically incorrect; "increased threefold" is the appropriate term to indicate a threefold increase in production. -
"out put" -> "output"
Explanation: "Out put" should be combined into "output" for correct spelling and clarity. -
"is only one country fall" -> "is the only country that fell"
Explanation: "Is only one country fall" is grammatically incorrect; "is the only country that fell" is a clearer and more accurate phrase.
Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 4
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Band Score: 4.0
Explanation: The essay attempts to address the task by providing some overview of the main features of the data presented in the bar charts. It mentions the general trends of coffee production in Brazil, Indonesia, and Colombia, noting increases or decreases in production over time. However, the essay lacks coherence and clarity in presenting the information. There are grammatical errors and inconsistencies in expression, making it difficult to follow the intended message. Additionally, there is insufficient detail and analysis of the data, with some key points missing or inaccurately presented.
How to improve: To improve, focus on providing a clearer and more coherent summary of the data. Use appropriate grammar and sentence structure to enhance readability. Ensure that all relevant information is included and accurately described, without repetition or irrelevant details. Consider organizing the essay into distinct paragraphs for each country’s data and providing a more thorough analysis of the trends observed in the charts. Additionally, pay attention to spelling and punctuation to improve overall presentation.
]
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 3
Band Score: 3.0
Explanation:
The essay lacks logical organization and coherence. It fails to present a clear overview of the information provided in the graph. There is minimal progression of ideas, with abrupt transitions between points. Cohesive devices are barely used, resulting in disjointed sentences and paragraphs. Additionally, there are significant grammatical errors and inaccuracies throughout the essay, further impeding comprehension.
How to improve:
- Focus on providing a structured overview of the data, summarizing the main trends and comparisons.
- Use cohesive devices such as conjunctions, transition words, and pronouns to connect ideas and improve flow.
- Ensure accurate grammar and sentence structure to enhance clarity and readability.
- Practice organizing thoughts logically and coherently to effectively convey the intended message.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 4
Band Score: 4.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a basic range of vocabulary but lacks sophistication and precision. There are numerous errors in word choice, grammar, and spelling throughout the text, which detract from clarity and coherence. While some relevant information is conveyed, the lack of precise vocabulary and frequent errors in expression impede effective communication.
How to improve: To enhance the Lexical Resource, focus on expanding vocabulary and using words accurately and appropriately. Work on grammar and sentence structure to convey ideas clearly. Proofreading for spelling and grammatical errors is crucial to improve overall coherence and readability. Additionally, strive for a more formal and academic tone suitable for an IELTS Task 2 essay.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 4
Band Score: 4.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures, with errors in grammar and punctuation predominating. Simple sentences dominate, and there is little variation in the structure. The attempt to use more complex sentences results in inaccuracies that hinder comprehension. There are frequent grammatical errors and punctuation mistakes throughout the essay, causing some difficulty for the reader.
How to improve: To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, focus on expanding the range of sentence structures used in the essay. Work on mastering more complex sentence forms, such as using subordinate clauses effectively. Additionally, pay close attention to grammar and punctuation rules to reduce errors and improve clarity. Proofreading and editing are crucial to catch and correct mistakes before submission.
Bài sửa mẫu
The bar charts provide information regarding coffee production in four different countries from 1990 to 2010. Overall, the charts depict two distinct trends, with some countries experiencing growth while others witness a decline. Brazil emerges as the largest coffee producer in the charts, whereas Colombia shows a decrease in production.
Upon closer examination of the data, Brazil exhibits a remarkable surge from 0.7 million tons of production in 1990 to 19 million tons in 2010. In contrast, Indonesia demonstrates a modest increase, rising from 0.2 million tons in 1990 to 0.4 million tons in 2000, with production remaining steady thereafter. Similarly, Indonesia’s production remains consistent between 1990 and 1995, but experiences a threefold increase from 0.1 million tons in 2000 to 0.3 million tons in 2010.
Conversely, Colombia stands as the only country to witness a decline in the charts. Coffee production in Colombia decreases from 0.6 million tons in 1990 to 0.3 million tons in 2010.
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