Many different countries have most shops and products as the same. Some consider it a positive development, whereas others consider it negative. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Nowadays, the majority of shops and goods appears worldwide. It becomes more and more popular because of international brands. It includes benefits but also disadvantages, personally I agree with some benefical aspects of this situation. In the essay, many reasons are presented with some typical examples.
On the one hand, the international brands products and lience positively able on the society and a bamer of people's life. Preto Innitialy, it eliminates of culture such as the differences of foods taste or refional aspects. Specifically, when expatriates work in a strange atmosphere, owning a familiar shop that seated to their culture can reduce the hassle of them. For instance, Vietnamese foods like bun Dau Mam Tom seems to challenging for obsessed the foreigners who can not suffer from the Smell of Mam Tom. Therefore, Circle K or 7/11 are vacation their best choices during the vetere in Vietnam Moreover, international brands can ensure the vanour quality standars. Thus, costumers easily trust the products' quality and the origin thanks to the dominance of the variety of international brands.
On the other hand, the diversity of shops and products as the same may lead to a sencus ramification. The cultural uniqueness of countries will be overshadowed due to the similarities of brands. Moreover, conventional trade villages may loose their value because almost teenagers these day are more likely to prefer local brands that the same of European fashinable of styles. For example, Vietnamese young people nowadays prontize and some international goods. Such as Gucci, Nike or Adidas dues to the widespread of sporty eccasions or fashion events. As a consequence, Vietnamese goods cope with a significant decrease in price, and same tradditional trade villages make pottery may disappear since they can not appeal young generations.
In condusion, there are both benefits and drawbacks of international brands. However, I tent to have more impressions with the outstanding aspects on the societies and its influences on the peeple's demands

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"Nowadays, the majority of shops and goods appears worldwide."
-> "Presently, a plethora of shops and products are prevalent worldwide."
Explanation: "Nowadays" is too colloquial for academic writing. "Appears" is grammatically incorrect; "are prevalent" is a more appropriate term for indicating widespread existence.
"It becomes more and more popular because of international brands."
-> "This trend is increasingly popular due to the prevalence of international brands."
Explanation: "It becomes more and more popular" lacks precision and formality. "This trend is increasingly popular" provides a clearer and more formal expression of the idea.
"It includes benefits but also disadvantages, personally I agree with some benefical aspects of this situation."
-> "While it offers advantages, there are also drawbacks. Personally, I concur with certain beneficial aspects of this phenomenon."
Explanation: "It includes benefits but also disadvantages" is overly simplistic. "Personally I agree" is too informal; "I concur" is a more suitable alternative. "Benefical" should be "beneficial" for correct spelling.
"In the essay, many reasons are presented with some typical examples."
-> "Throughout this essay, various reasons are provided alongside typical examples."
Explanation: "In the essay" is unnecessary; "Throughout this essay" is more concise.
"international brands products and lience positively able on the society"
-> "International brand products and licensing positively impact society"
Explanation: "International brands products and lience positively able on the society" is grammatically incorrect and lacks clarity. "Impact" is a stronger and more precise verb choice than "able".
"Preto Innitialy, it eliminates of culture such as the differences of foods taste or refional aspects."
-> "Primarily, it diminishes cultural distinctions, such as variations in food taste and regional aspects."
Explanation: "Preto Innitialy" is unclear and possibly a typographical error. "Eliminates of culture" is awkward; "diminishes cultural distinctions" is a clearer and more formal alternative.
"Specifically, when expatriates work in a strange atmosphere, owning a familiar shop that seated to their culture can reduce the hassle of them."
-> "Specifically, when expatriates work in unfamiliar environments, having access to shops that cater to their culture can alleviate their discomfort."
Explanation: "A strange atmosphere" is too informal; "unfamiliar environments" is more appropriate. "Owning a familiar shop that seated to their culture" is grammatically incorrect and awkward; "having access to shops that cater to their culture" is a clearer expression.
"For instance, Vietnamese foods like bun Dau Mam Tom seems to challenging for obsessed the foreigners who can not suffer from the Smell of Mam Tom."
-> "For example, Vietnamese dishes like bun Dau Mam Tom can be challenging for foreigners who are sensitive to the smell of Mam Tom."
Explanation: "Seems to challenging for obsessed the foreigners" is grammatically incorrect and unclear. "Can be challenging for foreigners" provides a clearer expression.
"Circle K or 7/11 are vacation their best choices during the vetere in Vietnam"
-> "Circle K or 7/11 are often preferred choices for expatriates during their stay in Vietnam."
Explanation: "Are vacation their best choices" is unclear and grammatically incorrect. "Preferred choices for expatriates during their stay in Vietnam" is a clearer expression.
"Moreover, international brands can ensure the vanour quality standars."
-> "Furthermore, international brands can uphold consistent quality standards."
Explanation: "Vanour quality standars" is a misspelling; "uphold consistent quality standards" is a clearer and more formal expression.
"Thus, costumers easily trust the products’ quality and the origin thanks to the dominance of the variety of international brands."
-> "Thus, customers readily trust the quality and origin of products due to the prevalence of various international brands."
Explanation: "Costumers" is a misspelling of "customers". "Thanks to the dominance of the variety of international brands" is awkward; "due to the prevalence of various international brands" is clearer and more concise.
"the diversity of shops and products as the same may lead to a sencus ramification."
-> "The homogenization of shops and products may lead to significant ramifications."
Explanation: "The diversity of shops and products as the same" is unclear and grammatically incorrect; "The homogenization of shops and products" is a clearer expression.
"Moreover, conventional trade villages may loose their value"
-> "Furthermore, traditional trading villages may lose their value"
Explanation: "Conventional trade villages may loose their value" contains a spelling error ("loose" instead of "lose"). "Traditional trading villages" is a more formal and precise term.
"almost teenagers these day are more likely to prefer local brands that the same of European fashinable of styles."
-> "Today, teenagers are increasingly inclined to favor local brands over European fashion trends."
Explanation: "Almost teenagers these day" is grammatically incorrect and lacks clarity; "Today, teenagers" is a clearer expression. "That the same of European fashinable of styles" is unclear and awkward; "over European fashion trends" is more concise and precise.
"Vietnamese young people nowadays prontize and some international goods."
-> "Vietnamese youth nowadays prioritize certain international goods."
Explanation: "Vietnamese young people nowadays prontize and some international goods" is grammatically incorrect and unclear; "Vietnamese youth nowadays prioritize certain international goods" is clearer and more concise.
"As a consequence, Vietnamese goods cope with a significant decrease in price, and same tradditional trade villages make pottery may disappear since they can not appeal young generations."
-> "Consequently, Vietnamese goods face a significant decrease in price, and traditional trade villages specializing in pottery may disappear as they fail to appeal to younger generations."
Explanation: "As a consequence" is less formal than "Consequently". "Vietnamese goods cope with a significant decrease in price" is awkward; "Vietnamese goods face a significant decrease in price" is clearer. "Same tradditional trade villages make pottery" is grammatically incorrect; "traditional trade villages specializing in pottery" is a more precise expression.
"In condusion, there are both benefits and drawbacks of international brands."
-> "In conclusion, international brands have both advantages and disadvantages."
Explanation: "In condusion" is a misspelling; "In conclusion" is the correct term. "There are both benefits and drawbacks of international brands" is overly simplistic; "international brands have both advantages and disadvantages" is a more concise and precise expression.
"However, I tent to have more impressions with the outstanding aspects on the societies and its influences on the peeple’s demands."
-> "However, I tend to favor the significant societal impacts and influences on consumer demands."
Explanation: "I tent to have more impressions" is grammatically incorrect and unclear; "I tend to favor" is more precise. "The outstanding aspects on the societies" is awkward; "the significant societal impacts" is clearer. "Its influences on the peeple’s demands" contains a typo ("peeple’s" instead of "people’s") and lacks clarity; "influences on consumer demands" is more precise.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to discuss both the positive and negative aspects of the proliferation of international shops and products but falls short in fully addressing all parts of the prompt. While it briefly mentions both sides, the depth of analysis is lacking. For instance, it discusses the convenience and quality assurance brought by international brands but only superficially touches upon the potential loss of cultural uniqueness and the impact on local economies.
- How to improve: To enhance task response, the essay should delve deeper into the positive and negative implications. It could explore how the homogenization of products affects cultural diversity and local businesses more comprehensively. Providing specific examples and statistical data would strengthen the argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position favoring the benefits of international brands, as indicated by the author’s preference for their "outstanding aspects on the societies and its influences on the people’s demands." However, the clarity of this stance is hindered by occasional language barriers and unclear expressions, which may confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To improve clarity and consistency, the essay should use precise language and avoid ambiguous expressions. Additionally, reinforcing the stance with stronger arguments and counterarguments would enhance the persuasiveness of the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas but lacks coherence and development. While it introduces points about the convenience and trustworthiness of international brands, it fails to extend these ideas with thorough explanations or examples. Furthermore, the connection between ideas is often weak, making the essay disjointed.
- How to improve: To improve the presentation and development of ideas, the essay should provide more detailed explanations and relevant examples to support each argument. Additionally, establishing clear transitions between paragraphs would improve the flow and coherence of the essay.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic by discussing the effects of the proliferation of international shops and products. However, there are instances where the connection to the prompt becomes tenuous, such as the discussion of local fashion preferences and trade villages.
- How to improve: To maintain focus on the topic, the essay should ensure that all points made directly relate to the prompt. Extraneous details, such as the discussion of local fashion trends, should be omitted unless they directly contribute to the main argument about the impact of international brands. Additionally, providing a clear thesis statement at the beginning would help guide the essay and keep it on track.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable attempt at organizing information, though there are notable instances of disorganization. The introduction sets up the discussion adequately, but the body paragraphs lack clear progression. Ideas are presented somewhat haphazardly, with abrupt shifts between discussing advantages and disadvantages. For example, after presenting the benefits of international brands in the first body paragraph, there’s an abrupt transition to discussing the drawbacks without a clear segue. This lack of smooth transitions impedes the logical flow of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider structuring the essay more clearly with distinct body paragraphs focusing on specific points. Each paragraph should begin with a topic sentence that previews the main idea, followed by supporting details and examples. Additionally, use transitional phrases or sentences to connect ideas smoothly and guide the reader through the essay’s progression.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to use paragraphs, but their effectiveness is limited by issues in structure and coherence. While there is an attempt to separate ideas into paragraphs, the execution is inconsistent. Some paragraphs contain multiple ideas, making them unwieldy and confusing. For instance, the second paragraph attempts to discuss both the positive and negative aspects of international brands without clear delineation between the two. This lack of clear paragraphing diminishes the readability and coherence of the essay.
- How to improve: Aim for clearer paragraph structure by focusing each paragraph on a single main idea or aspect of the argument. Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that previews the content to follow. Ensure that each paragraph maintains unity and coherence by developing a single central point with supporting evidence. Use transitions between paragraphs to create a seamless flow of ideas and improve overall coherence.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to use cohesive devices to connect ideas, but their effectiveness is limited by errors and repetition. There is some use of cohesive devices such as pronouns ("it," "this"), conjunctions ("however"), and transitional phrases ("on the one hand," "on the other hand"). However, these devices are often used incorrectly or ineffectively, leading to confusion rather than clarity. Additionally, there is noticeable repetition of certain cohesive devices, such as repeatedly using "for example" without variation.
- How to improve: To improve the use of cohesive devices, focus on using them accurately and appropriately to clarify the relationships between ideas. Vary the types of cohesive devices used to avoid repetition and enhance coherence. Consider using a wider range of transition words and phrases to signal different relationships between ideas, such as cause and effect, contrast, and concession. Additionally, pay attention to pronoun clarity to ensure that references to previous ideas are clear and unambiguous.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. It includes some specialized terms such as "expatriates" and "conventional trade villages," but there are also instances of imprecise word choice and grammatical errors that affect the overall clarity and sophistication of expression. For example, "it eliminates of culture" should be "it diminishes cultural differences," and "vacation their best choices" should be "become their best choices." Additionally, there are minor errors in word forms and usage, such as "ensure the vanour quality standars" which should be "ensure the quality standards."
- How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource, focus on expanding vocabulary in a structured manner. Incorporate synonyms, antonyms, and related terms to convey ideas with more precision and depth. Additionally, review and practice using new vocabulary in context to ensure accurate usage. Proofreading for grammatical errors and refining sentence structures will also contribute to a clearer and more sophisticated expression of ideas.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits both precise and imprecise vocabulary usage. While some terms are used accurately, such as "expatriates" and "international brands," there are instances of imprecision that hinder clarity and coherence. For example, "vacation their best choices" should be "become their best choices," and "sencus ramification" is unclear and may be a typographical error.
- How to improve: To improve precision in vocabulary usage, carefully select words that accurately convey intended meanings. Avoid using unfamiliar or ambiguous terms that may confuse readers. Proofread the essay thoroughly to identify and correct any imprecise word choices or typographical errors. Additionally, consider using a variety of sentence structures to enhance clarity and coherence.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates inconsistent spelling accuracy. While some words are spelled correctly, such as "majority" and "disappear," there are numerous spelling errors throughout the text. Examples include "lience" instead of "license," "bamer" instead of "number," "vanour" instead of "vendor," and "tradditional" instead of "traditional."
- How to improve: Improving spelling accuracy requires consistent practice and attention to detail. Consider utilizing spelling checkers and proofreading tools to identify and correct errors. Additionally, reviewing common spelling patterns and frequently misspelled words can help reinforce correct spelling conventions. Regular reading and writing exercises will also contribute to developing a stronger grasp of spelling rules and conventions.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate variety of sentence structures. Simple, compound, and complex sentences are utilized, although there is room for improvement in terms of complexity and sophistication. For instance, simple sentences dominate the essay, and there’s a lack of intricate structures such as parallelism or inversion. While the essay attempts to vary its sentence structures, it falls short in consistently employing more advanced syntactic forms.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, consider incorporating more complex sentence types like compound-complex sentences, parallel structures, and rhetorical devices such as inversion or ellipsis. Introducing varied sentence lengths and styles will add richness to the essay and engage the reader more effectively. For instance, instead of relying solely on simple sentences, aim to integrate compound or compound-complex structures to convey ideas with greater depth and sophistication.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays several grammatical errors and punctuation inaccuracies throughout its content. These errors include issues with subject-verb agreement, article usage, tense consistency, and punctuation marks such as commas and apostrophes. For example, there are instances of incorrect verb forms ("loose" instead of "lose") and missing or misused articles ("a sencus ramification" should be "a serious ramification"). Additionally, punctuation marks are inconsistently applied, leading to confusion and disrupting the flow of ideas.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy and punctuation skills, it is crucial to review and practice key grammar rules and punctuation conventions. Focus on areas such as verb conjugation, article usage, tense consistency, and punctuation rules. Proofreading essays carefully before submission can help identify and correct errors effectively. Consider seeking feedback from peers or teachers to address specific grammatical weaknesses and reinforce correct usage. Additionally, utilizing grammar checkers and style guides can serve as valuable resources in refining grammatical accuracy and punctuation proficiency. By consistently practicing and refining these skills, the clarity and coherence of the writing will significantly improve, contributing to a higher band score in grammatical range and accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

In today’s global landscape, an increasing number of shops and products are becoming ubiquitous worldwide, largely driven by the presence of international brands. While this trend offers advantages, it also presents drawbacks. Personally, I agree with certain beneficial aspects of this phenomenon. Throughout this essay, various reasons will be provided alongside typical examples.

On one hand, international brand products and licensing positively impact society and people’s daily lives. Primarily, they diminish cultural distinctions such as differences in food tastes and regional aspects. Specifically, when expatriates work in unfamiliar environments, having access to shops that cater to their culture can alleviate their discomfort. For instance, Vietnamese dishes like bun Dau Mam Tom can be challenging for foreigners who are sensitive to the smell of Mam Tom. Hence, stores like Circle K or 7/11 are often preferred choices for expatriates during their stay in Vietnam. Furthermore, international brands can uphold consistent quality standards. Thus, customers readily trust the quality and origin of products due to the prevalence of various international brands.

On the other hand, the homogenization of shops and products may lead to significant ramifications. The cultural uniqueness of countries may be overshadowed due to the similarities of brands. Furthermore, traditional trading villages may lose their value because today’s teenagers are increasingly inclined to favor local brands over European fashion trends. For example, Vietnamese youth nowadays prioritize certain international goods such as Gucci, Nike, or Adidas due to the widespread of sporty occasions or fashion events. As a consequence, Vietnamese goods face a significant decrease in price, and traditional trade villages specializing in pottery may disappear as they fail to appeal to younger generations.

In conclusion, international brands have both advantages and disadvantages. However, I tend to favor the significant societal impacts and influences on consumer demands.