In some countries, people spend long hours at work. Why does this happen? Is it positive or negative development?

It is common that people tend to spend the majority of their day at workplace to ensure the productivity. Even though this phenomenon can be somehow beneficial for the business, I believe that it has abundant influences on employee themselves as well.
There are many reasons why a lot of people are overworking, some of them are the pressure from daily necessities and work. Due to escalating living cost and high living standards in big cities, people are forced to work overtime to complete a huge amount of work or earn extra income to make a living. In addition, working in a competitive environments and large companies where employee screening requirements are becoming increasingly harsh, people have to push themselves harder and work longer hours to avoid being fired or get more opportunities in career advancement. A compelling example is that companies will frequently retain and offer desirable employee benefits for employees who work hard and deliver efficient quality work.
From my own standpoint, it is undeniable that earning more money will facilitate one’s life; however, this work methods can have negative impacts on employees’ relationships and their health. Initially, spending too much time at work will leave us with no time to maintain social contacts or the family bond with those who have families. When the life is jeopardized, people will face more stress and their work life will also be affected as they can not concentrate on their assignments. Furthermore, working extra hours will bring financial benefit for people, but the cost are their mental and physical health. For instance, having a busy schedule, employees can easily suffer from poor health and mental illnesses such as depression.
In conclusion, while it is understandable why people are spending more time at work, I believe that the life experience and health also play an equally important role.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"It is common that people tend to" -> "It is commonplace for individuals to"
Explanation: Replacing "It is common that people tend to" with "It is commonplace for individuals to" enhances the formal tone by using more precise language and avoiding the redundancy of "tend to."
"the majority of their day at workplace" -> "the majority of their day in the workplace"
Explanation: Adding "in" before "the workplace" corrects the prepositional phrase, making it grammatically correct and more formal.
"can be somehow beneficial" -> "may be somewhat beneficial"
Explanation: Replacing "can be somehow" with "may be somewhat" improves the sentence by using more precise and academically appropriate language.
"abundant influences" -> "numerous effects"
Explanation: "Numerous effects" is more precise and academically appropriate than "abundant influences," which is vague and less formal.
"a lot of people are overworking" -> "many individuals are engaging in excessive work"
Explanation: "Many individuals are engaging in excessive work" is more formal and precise than "a lot of people are overworking."
"the pressure from daily necessities and work" -> "the pressures from daily necessities and professional responsibilities"
Explanation: "The pressures from daily necessities and professional responsibilities" is more specific and formal, enhancing the academic tone.
"escalating living cost" -> "escalating cost of living"
Explanation: "Escalating cost of living" is the correct and more formal phraseology.
"competitive environments" -> "competitive environments"
Explanation: This correction maintains the original phrasing as it is already suitable and formal.
"employee screening requirements" -> "employment screening requirements"
Explanation: "Employment screening requirements" is more precise and relevant in the context of company policies.
"work methods" -> "working methods"
Explanation: Adding "working" before "methods" makes the phrase grammatically correct and clearer.
"negative impacts" -> "adverse effects"
Explanation: "Adverse effects" is a more formal and precise term than "negative impacts."
"spending too much time at work" -> "excessive working hours"
Explanation: "Excessive working hours" is more specific and academically appropriate than the more casual "spending too much time at work."
"leave us with no time" -> "leave individuals with no time"
Explanation: Replacing "us" with "individuals" maintains an objective and formal tone suitable for academic writing.
"the life is jeopardized" -> "well-being is compromised"
Explanation: "Well-being is compromised" is more specific and academically appropriate than the vague and dramatic "the life is jeopardized."
"can not" -> "cannot"
Explanation: "Cannot" is the correct spelling, making the text more formal and correct.
"the cost are their mental and physical health" -> "the costs include their mental and physical health"
Explanation: "The costs include their mental and physical health" corrects the grammatical error and clarifies that health is among the consequences.
"having a busy schedule, employees can easily suffer" -> "with busy schedules, employees may easily suffer"
Explanation: "With busy schedules, employees may easily suffer" is more concise and formal, improving the flow and academic tone of the sentence.
"life experience and health also play an equally important role" -> "quality of life and health also hold equal importance"
Explanation: "Quality of life and health also hold equal importance" is more precise and academically appropriate, enhancing the formality of the conclusion.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score forBand Score for TaskBand Score for Task ResponseBand Score for Task Response:Band Score for Task Response: Band Score for Task Response: 6Band Score for Task Response: 6