The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts illustrate the percentage of three age groups in Yemen and Italy in 2000 and the prediction in 2050.

Overall, most citizens in both countries are mainly at adult age, however, the most notable representation of Yemeni people in 2000 was the elderly one. Moreover, while the proportion of people from 15 to 59 in Yemen is focecasted to increase, that in Italy seems to experience an opposite trend.
With regard to Yemen, although the fraction of grown-ups took the lion's share in 2000, at more than a half, it is predicted to decrease considerably to 37% in 2050. Insteadingly, the 15-59 group which accounted for 46,3% in 2000 may come in the first place in the future at 57,3%. In addition, the elderly population in this country only makes up a minuscule percentage both in 2000 and 2005, at 3.6% and 5.7%, respectively.

Shifting the focus to Italy, in 2000, the 15-59 group occupied an overwhelming proportion of the residents at nearly two-thirds, but is projected to drop to 46,2% in 2050. The 60+ group took up 24,1% of Italian. Nevertheless, this figure is likely to nearly double in the future at 42,3%. The young generation in 2000 and 2005 constitutes for almost the same pecentage at 14,39% and 11,5% correspondingly.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

1. "focecasted" -> "projected"
   Explanation: "Focecasted" is a misspelling of "forecasted." "Projected" is a more precise and formal term commonly used in discussions about future trends or predictions.

2. "Insteadingly" -> "Instead"
   Explanation: "Insteadingly" is not a correct word. "Instead" is the appropriate adverb to indicate a contrast or alternative.

3. "the lion’s share" -> "the majority" or "the predominant portion"
   Explanation: "The lion’s share" is an idiom meaning the largest portion. While idiomatic, it’s less formal. "The majority" or "the predominant portion" are more neutral alternatives suitable for formal writing.

4. "makes up a minuscule percentage" -> "constitutes a small fraction"
   Explanation: "Makes up a minuscule percentage" is redundant. "Constitutes a small fraction" conveys the same meaning more concisely and formally.

5. "took up" -> "accounted for"
   Explanation: "Took up" is less precise compared to "accounted for" when discussing proportions or percentages.

6. "overwhelming proportion" -> "significant majority"
   Explanation: While "overwhelming proportion" is understandable, "significant majority" is more formal and precise.

7. "constitutes for" -> "accounts for"
   Explanation: "Constitutes for" is incorrect usage. "Accounts for" is the appropriate phrase to indicate what portion or percentage something represents.

8. "pecentage" -> "percentage"
   Explanation: "Pecentage" is a misspelling of "percentage." Correcting the spelling maintains professionalism and accuracy in the essay.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay adequately covers the requirements of the task by summarizing the main features of the charts and making relevant comparisons between the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projected for 2050. The overview is clear, highlighting the main age groups and their changes over time in both countries. Key features are presented and illustrated, such as the shifting proportions of age groups from 2000 to 2050 in each country.

How to improve:
To improve, the essay could provide a more detailed analysis of the data, such as discussing the implications of these demographic changes or providing a clearer transition between paragraphs to enhance coherence. Additionally, ensuring accuracy in data representation and grammar would further strengthen the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6

Explanation:
The essay presents a clear overview of the age distribution in Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projected figures for 2050. It logically organizes information by discussing each country separately and addressing the age groups in both time periods. Cohesive devices are used effectively to connect ideas within sentences, but there are instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear pronoun references ("it" in "it is predicted to decrease considerably to 37%"). Paragraphing is utilized, but it’s not always logical, especially in the transition between discussing Yemen and Italy. The central topic of each paragraph is clear, focusing on the age groups and their changes over time.

How to improve:
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure pronoun references are clear and directly related to the nouns they represent. Additionally, consider refining paragraph structure to enhance logical flow, possibly by providing a smoother transition between discussing Yemen and Italy. Additionally, varied and accurate cohesive devices can be incorporated to strengthen the connection between ideas further.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, which is minimally adequate for the task. The writer attempts to convey information, but the language is simplistic and repetitive. There are noticeable errors in spelling, word choice, and word formation throughout the essay, which may cause some difficulty for the reader.

How to improve:

1. Increase Vocabulary Range: Include a wider variety of vocabulary to convey more precise meanings and to avoid repetition.
2. Work on Accuracy: Pay attention to word choice, spelling, and word formation to reduce errors and improve clarity.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, covering the main features of the charts effectively. There is an attempt at using varied sentence forms and some complex structures, though they are not consistently executed. The essay communicates the main trends but has several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings, which may slightly impede understanding.

How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, focus on refining sentence structures for clarity and coherence. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and the correct use of conjunctions. Additionally, proofread the essay to correct punctuation errors and improve overall fluency. Strive for a more consistent use of complex sentence structures to elevate the sophistication of the essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided pie charts depict the distribution of age groups in Yemen and Italy in the year 2000, alongside projected figures for 2050.

In 2000, the majority of individuals in both nations fell within the adult age bracket. Notably, Yemen exhibited a significant representation of elderly citizens. Conversely, Italy had a substantial proportion of individuals aged 15 to 59.

Turning to Yemen, although adults comprised more than half of the population in 2000, this percentage is anticipated to decline significantly to 37% by 2050. Conversely, the 15-59 age group, constituting 46.3% in 2000, is projected to increase to 57.3% in the future. Additionally, the elderly population remained minimal, accounting for 3.6% in 2000 and 5.7% in 2050.

Shifting focus to Italy, the 15-59 age group dominated the population in 2000, comprising nearly two-thirds. However, it is expected to decrease to 46.2% by 2050. Conversely, the elderly population is forecasted to nearly double, rising from 24.1% to 42.3%. The youth demographic remained relatively stable, constituting approximately 14.39% in 2000 and 11.5% in 2050.