Some people think that it is more effective for students to study in a group, while others believe that it is better for them to study alone. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is argued by some that students should choose to study independently because it has many advantages. In my opinion, however, it would be more beneficial for them to participate in group study.
On the one hand, it is clear that studying in a group can bring students several values. To start with, when students form a group to study or complete projects assigned by the teacher, they can discuss and find effective solutions to the problems. This approach allows students to hear their teammates' opinions and receive comments on their views. Definitely, they will also be seen and evaluated their idea by others. As a result, their knowledge of the discussed field will improve. In addition, if someone have difficulties in learning, their peers should guide them. This is beneficial for both sides, as the person seeking guidance can understand the issue they face, and the students providing guidance may reinforce their knowledge. From that, they can enhance their memory and foster long-term retention.
On the other hand, I would argue that studying alone would be advantageous. In this scenario, it can positively impact students seeking a quiet environment for study. If students study in the space of stillness, they can concentrate better without distractions from others. Consequently, their learning outcomes will be enhanced. Moreover, when students study alone, they can develop self-discipline. Managing their study schedule and avoiding distractions like smartphones and computers are crucial steps towards taking charge of their learning. After overcoming all this challenges, peers can improve their time management skills and gain a greater sense of autonomy.
In conclusion, while many people support the idea that studying alone offers advantages, I personally believe that it is more beneficial to let students study in a group

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"It is argued by some" -> "Some argue"
Explanation: Simplifying "It is argued by some" to "Some argue" maintains the formal tone while removing unnecessary words, enhancing the directness and clarity of the statement.
"it would be more beneficial" -> "it is more advantageous"
Explanation: Replacing "it would be more beneficial" with "it is more advantageous" shifts the sentence to the present tense, which is more assertive and appropriate for academic writing, emphasizing the current benefits of group study.
"bring students several values" -> "offer students several benefits"
Explanation: Changing "bring students several values" to "offer students several benefits" corrects the misuse of "values" (which typically refers to moral principles) and uses "benefits" which is the correct term for advantages in this context.
"when students form a group to study or complete projects" -> "when students form groups to study or complete projects"
Explanation: Adding "groups" to "form a group" corrects the grammatical error and clarifies that the subject is referring to multiple groups, not just one.
"they can discuss and find effective solutions to the problems" -> "they can discuss and find effective solutions to these problems"
Explanation: Adding "these" before "problems" clarifies the reference to the problems previously mentioned, enhancing the sentence’s coherence and flow.
"Definitely, they will also be seen and evaluated their idea by others" -> "Definitely, they will also have their ideas evaluated by others"
Explanation: Replacing "be seen and evaluated their idea" with "have their ideas evaluated" corrects the grammatical structure and pluralizes "idea" to "ideas" to match the plural context of "they" and "others".
"if someone have difficulties" -> "if someone has difficulties"
Explanation: Correcting "have" to "has" fixes the subject-verb agreement error, ensuring that the singular subject "someone" is correctly matched with the singular verb "has".
"This is beneficial for both sides" -> "This benefits both parties"
Explanation: Changing "This is beneficial for both sides" to "This benefits both parties" uses a more formal and concise structure, replacing "is beneficial" with "benefits" and "sides" with "parties" to enhance the academic tone.
"they can enhance their memory and foster long-term retention" -> "they can improve their memory and enhance long-term retention"
Explanation: Replacing "enhance" with "improve" in the first instance corrects the redundancy, as "enhance" is often used with "long-term retention" in academic contexts, making the phrase redundant.
"studying alone would be advantageous" -> "studying alone is advantageous"
Explanation: Changing "would be" to "is" shifts the sentence to the present tense, aligning with the rest of the essay’s tense consistency and emphasizing the current benefits of studying alone.
"they can concentrate better without distractions from others" -> "they can concentrate better without distractions from other students"
Explanation: Adding "other students" specifies the type of distractions, enhancing the clarity and precision of the statement.
"peers can improve their time management skills" -> "students can improve their time management skills"
Explanation: Replacing "peers" with "students" corrects the misuse of "peers" which typically refers to colleagues or equals, not fellow students in this context.
"After overcoming all this challenges" -> "After overcoming all these challenges"
Explanation: Correcting "all this" to "all these" fixes the grammatical error, ensuring that the plural form "challenges" is correctly matched with the plural determiner "these".

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses both perspectives of the prompt. It discusses the advantages of group study (paragraph 2) and also acknowledges the benefits of studying alone (paragraph 3). The conclusion offers a clear opinion, stating a preference for group study while summarizing both viewpoints.
- How to improve: To enhance comprehensiveness, ensure each viewpoint is discussed with equal depth. Provide specific examples or studies that illustrate the advantages of each study method to substantiate claims.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear stance throughout, expressing a preference for group study. This position is articulated in the introduction ("it would be more beneficial for them to participate in group study") and reiterated in the conclusion ("I personally believe that it is more beneficial to let students study in a group").
- How to improve: To improve clarity further, consider reinforcing the position with stronger justification or contrasting it more explicitly against the advantages of studying alone.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas with moderate development. It discusses advantages of group study such as problem-solving, peer feedback, and mutual learning (paragraph 2). Similarly, advantages of studying alone like concentration and self-discipline are mentioned (paragraph 3). However, some ideas lack elaboration, such as how exactly group study enhances memory or how studying alone develops self-discipline.
- How to improve: Extend ideas by providing concrete examples, statistical evidence, or personal experiences to illustrate each point more vividly. This will add depth and credibility to the arguments presented.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic by discussing the advantages of group study versus studying alone. However, there are minor instances where the connection to the prompt could be strengthened, such as ensuring all examples directly relate back to the benefits of each study method.
- How to improve: Maintain a direct link between each discussed advantage and how it pertains specifically to group study or studying alone. Avoid tangents that might dilute the focus on the main topic.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the prompt and effectively presents arguments supporting both study methods while clearly stating a preference. To improve, focus on enhancing the depth of discussion for each viewpoint and ensure all supporting examples directly reinforce the chosen stance.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally logical organization. It begins with an introduction clearly stating the writer’s opinion, followed by two body paragraphs discussing advantages of group study and studying alone respectively. Each paragraph presents distinct arguments and concludes with a clear opinion.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and supports it coherently with relevant examples. Transition phrases can be used more effectively to guide the reader through the essay’s structure.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs adequately to separate different aspects of the topic (advantages of group study and studying alone). However, there are areas where paragraphs could be more effectively structured, such as ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting details that directly relate to the topic.
- How to improve: Focus on developing each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that previews the main idea of the paragraph. Ensure that all sentences within the paragraph directly relate to and support that topic sentence, creating a cohesive structure that aids readability and comprehension.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs basic cohesive devices such as pronouns ("this approach," "that," "these challenges") and conjunctions ("however," "moreover," "in addition"). These help connect ideas within and between sentences.
- How to improve: To improve cohesion, consider incorporating a wider variety of cohesive devices such as linking adverbs ("furthermore," "consequently"), synonyms ("benefit" instead of "advantage"), and referencing techniques (using cohesive markers to refer back to previous ideas). This will create smoother transitions and strengthen the overall coherence of the essay.

In conclusion, while the essay effectively addresses the prompt and presents a clear opinion supported by arguments, improvements in logical organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices can elevate the coherence and cohesion of the writing to achieve a higher band score. By focusing on these areas, the essay can become more structured, easier to follow, and ultimately more persuasive to the reader.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fairly wide range of vocabulary with varied expressions such as "form a group," "assigned by the teacher," "seeking guidance," "long-term retention," "quiet environment," "self-discipline," "study schedule," and "autonomy." These terms cover different aspects of the topic, showing an attempt to use varied vocabulary throughout.
- How to improve: To further enhance the lexical resource score, aim to incorporate more nuanced vocabulary that precisely conveys meanings and shades of opinion. For instance, instead of "when students form a group," consider using synonyms like "when students collaborate," "when students convene," or "when students assemble." This not only diversifies the vocabulary but also demonstrates a higher level of lexical precision.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary appropriately but occasionally exhibits imprecise usage. For example, the phrase "will be seen and evaluated their idea by others" could be more precisely stated as "their ideas will be reviewed and critiqued by others." Similarly, "if someone have difficulties" should be corrected to "if someone has difficulties."
- How to improve: To improve precision, focus on using vocabulary that exactly fits the intended meaning. Review each sentence for clarity and accuracy. Utilize synonyms and specific terms that accurately convey the intended message without ambiguity or confusion.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: Spelling accuracy is generally satisfactory, but there are noticeable errors such as "stillness" (should be "still environment"), "have difficulties" (should be "has difficulties"), and minor punctuation issues.
- How to improve: Enhance spelling accuracy through careful proofreading and utilizing spell-check tools. Review commonly misspelled words and practice writing with attention to detail. Additionally, focus on punctuation rules to ensure clarity and coherence in sentences.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid foundation in vocabulary usage but would benefit from refining precision and ensuring consistent spelling and punctuation accuracy to achieve a higher band score in Lexical Resource.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate variety of sentence structures. It utilizes simple and complex sentences, although some structures are repetitive or lack sophistication. For instance, there is consistent use of introductory phrases ("On the one hand," "On the other hand," "In conclusion,") which fulfill their purpose but do not showcase a wide range of transitions or sentence beginnings.
- How to improve: To enhance the score in this criterion, aim for greater diversity in sentence structures. Introduce more complex sentences with subordinate clauses and varied transitions to connect ideas more fluidly. For example, using conditional sentences (If…then) or passive constructions where appropriate can add depth to the writing. Avoid overusing introductory phrases; instead, explore alternative ways to introduce different viewpoints or conclude arguments.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains grammatical coherence, but there are notable instances of errors that affect clarity and precision. For instance, there are issues with subject-verb agreement ("if someone have difficulties") and inconsistent use of tense ("peers should guide them"). Punctuation, such as comma splices and missing commas in complex sentences, occasionally disrupts the flow.
- How to improve: To elevate accuracy, focus on refining grammatical fundamentals. Review subject-verb agreement rules and practice using verb tenses consistently throughout the essay. Address punctuation errors by mastering the use of commas in complex sentences and ensuring that punctuation marks aid clarity rather than cause confusion. Proofreading for these specific issues before submission can significantly enhance the overall quality of the essay.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates competence in grammar and a basic variety of sentence structures, improving the range and accuracy further through practice and targeted revision will contribute to achieving a higher band score in the Grammatical Range and Accuracy criterion.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is argued by some that students should choose to study independently because it has many advantages. In my opinion, however, it would be more beneficial for them to participate in group study.

On the one hand, it is clear that studying in a group can offer students several benefits. To start with, when students form groups to study or complete projects assigned by the teacher, they can discuss and find effective solutions to these problems. This approach allows students to hear their teammates’ opinions and receive feedback on their views. Definitely, they will also have their ideas evaluated by others. As a result, their understanding of the discussed field will improve. In addition, if someone has difficulties in learning, their peers can guide them. This benefits both parties, as the person seeking guidance can understand the issues they face, and the students providing guidance can reinforce their knowledge. Through this interaction, they can improve their memory and enhance long-term retention.

On the other hand, studying alone is advantageous. In this scenario, students can concentrate better without distractions from other students. Consequently, they can enhance their learning outcomes. Moreover, when students study alone, they can improve their time management skills by overcoming challenges such as managing their study schedule and avoiding distractions like smartphones and computers. After overcoming all these challenges, students can develop a greater sense of autonomy.

In conclusion, while many people support the idea that studying alone offers advantages, I personally believe that it is more beneficial to let students study in a group.