Economic progress is considered a significant factor to measure a country’s success. But many people think that other factors should be considered when measuring the success of a country. What other factors do you think measure a country’s success? Among these, is one more important than the others?

Economic progress is considered a significant factor to measure a country's success. But many people think that other factors should be considered when measuring the success of a country. What other factors do you think measure a country's success? Among these, is one more important than the others?

Economic progress is often considered a significant factor in measuring a country's success. However, many believe that other factors should also be considered when evaluating a country's achievements. In addition to economic development, education, healthcare, political stability, and environmental sustainability are crucial indicators of a country's success.

To begin with, education is arguably one of the most important factors in determining a country's success. Access to quality education equips individuals with the skills and knowledge necessary to contribute to the nation's development. For instance, Canada, where the majority of the population holds college and university degrees, benefits from a highly skilled workforce, leading to a more innovative and competitive economy. Furthermore, a well-educated populace fosters a culture of informed and active citizens, contributing to a more cohesive and forward-thinking society.

Another critical factor in measuring a country's success is the health of its population. Accessible and affordable healthcare ensures that citizens can lead healthy and productive lives. Countries with comprehensive healthcare systems, such as those with wide insurance coverage, often report higher levels of happiness and life satisfaction. For example, nations with robust health insurance systems, like Germany, see fewer citizens worried about potential health issues, allowing them to focus on contributing positively to society.

Moreover, political stability is essential for a country's success. A stable government can implement long-term policies that promote economic growth, social welfare, and environmental sustainability. Countries with low levels of corruption and high levels of transparency, such as Denmark, often enjoy higher levels of public trust and economic prosperity.

Environmental sustainability is another vital factor. A country that prioritizes environmental protection ensures the long-term health and well-being of its citizens. For instance, nations that invest in renewable energy and sustainable practices, like Sweden, not only protect their natural resources but also create new economic opportunities in green industries.

In conclusion, while economic growth is an important measure of a country's success, it is not the only one. Education, healthcare, political stability, and environmental sustainability are equally, if not more, important in creating a prosperous and thriving nation. It is crucial for authorities to prioritize these factors to ensure comprehensive and sustainable development.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "often considered" -> "widely regarded"
   Explanation: "Widely regarded" is a more formal and precise term that enhances the academic tone of the sentence, indicating a broader consensus among experts or scholars.

2. "many believe" -> "many scholars argue"
   Explanation: Replacing "many believe" with "many scholars argue" specifies the source of the belief, which is more precise and appropriate for academic writing, where evidence-based arguments are preferred.

3. "other factors should also be considered" -> "additional factors should also be taken into consideration"
   Explanation: "Additional factors should also be taken into consideration" is more formal and emphasizes the importance of considering these factors in a more deliberate and systematic manner, which is suitable for academic discourse.

4. "arguably" -> "it is argued that"
   Explanation: "It is argued that" is a more formal and academically appropriate way to introduce a subjective opinion or argument, aligning better with the formal tone of the essay.

5. "Access to quality education" -> "Access to high-quality education"
   Explanation: Adding "high-" before "quality" clarifies the level of quality being referred to, enhancing the precision of the statement.

6. "benefits from a highly skilled workforce" -> "benefits from a highly skilled and educated workforce"
   Explanation: Adding "and educated" specifies the type of workforce, emphasizing the importance of both skills and education in contributing to the economy.

7. "a well-educated populace" -> "a well-educated population"
   Explanation: "Population" is the correct term when referring to the collective group of people in a country, whereas "populace" is less commonly used in formal academic writing.

8. "nations with wide insurance coverage" -> "nations with comprehensive insurance coverage"
   Explanation: "Comprehensive" is a more precise adjective than "wide" in this context, accurately describing the extent of insurance coverage.

9. "fewer citizens worried about potential health issues" -> "fewer citizens concerned about potential health issues"
   Explanation: "Concerned" is a more appropriate verb than "worried" in this context, as it is less colloquial and more suitable for formal writing.

10. "enjoy higher levels of public trust" -> "experience higher levels of public trust"
    Explanation: "Experience" is a more formal verb than "enjoy" in this context, fitting the academic style better by suggesting a more neutral and objective state.

11. "prioritizes environmental protection" -> "prioritizes environmental protection and sustainability"
    Explanation: Adding "and sustainability" clarifies that the country not only protects the environment but also ensures long-term sustainability, which is crucial for academic discussions on environmental issues.

12. "not only protect their natural resources but also create new economic opportunities" -> "not only protect their natural resources but also generate new economic opportunities"
    Explanation: "Generate" is a more precise and formal term than "create" in this context, emphasizing the active role of the country in creating economic opportunities.

These changes enhance the precision, formality, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing various factors besides economic progress that contribute to a country’s success. It identifies education, healthcare, political stability, and environmental sustainability as crucial indicators and evaluates their significance in national development.
  • How to improve: To enhance completeness, consider providing specific examples or case studies that illustrate how these factors interact with economic progress to shape a country’s overall success. This could further strengthen the argument and provide a deeper analysis.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that economic progress, while significant, is not the sole determinant of a country’s success. It consistently argues that factors like education, healthcare, political stability, and environmental sustainability are equally critical. Each paragraph reinforces this stance with well-developed examples and reasoning.
  • How to improve: To strengthen clarity, ensure that each paragraph explicitly connects back to the thesis statement regarding the multifaceted nature of success. This reinforcement can prevent any potential ambiguity and solidify the essay’s stance from introduction to conclusion.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas clearly and extends them with supporting evidence and examples. Each factor (education, healthcare, etc.) is introduced, elaborated upon with specific examples (Canada’s education system, Germany’s healthcare system, etc.), and supported with logical reasoning.
  • How to improve: To further develop ideas, consider exploring potential counterarguments briefly to demonstrate a nuanced understanding. Addressing potential critiques could bolster the essay’s credibility and show a balanced perspective on the topic.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay consistently stays on topic by exploring factors beyond economic progress that contribute to a country’s success. It does not deviate into unrelated discussions but maintains focus on evaluating and prioritizing these factors.
  • How to improve: To maintain focus, ensure that each paragraph directly ties back to the prompt by linking the discussed factors to the broader concept of measuring a country’s success. This alignment will reinforce coherence and relevance throughout the essay.

Overall, this essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the prompt and effectively argues that economic progress should be considered alongside other critical factors when measuring a country’s success. By enhancing specific examples, reinforcing clarity, exploring potential counterarguments, and maintaining focus, the essay could further improve to achieve an even higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a high level of logical organization. Each paragraph is clearly focused on one aspect of the argument (education, healthcare, political stability, environmental sustainability), with a clear introduction and conclusion framing the discussion. For example, the essay starts with a clear thesis statement and progresses systematically through each supporting point, building a coherent argument.
  • How to improve: While the organization is strong, ensuring a smoother transition between paragraphs could further enhance coherence. Using transitional phrases at the beginning of each body paragraph to link ideas more explicitly would help guide the reader through the essay’s structure.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to structure its argument. Each paragraph focuses on a single supporting idea (education, healthcare, political stability, environmental sustainability), providing detailed examples and explanations to support each point. For instance, the paragraph on education discusses the benefits of a well-educated populace, such as a skilled workforce and informed citizenry.
  • How to improve: To further improve paragraphing, consider varying sentence structures within paragraphs to maintain reader engagement. This can prevent paragraphs from becoming too formulaic and enhance the overall readability of the essay.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes a variety of cohesive devices effectively. These include transitional phrases (e.g., "to begin with," "furthermore," "moreover," "in conclusion"), referencing (e.g., "for instance," "such as"), and repetition of key terms (e.g., "education," "healthcare," "political stability," "environmental sustainability") to reinforce connections between ideas.
  • How to improve: While cohesive devices are generally well-employed, incorporating more advanced cohesive devices such as conditional sentences (e.g., "if… then"), cause-effect relationships (e.g., "consequently," "therefore"), and synonyms (e.g., "equally important," "similarly," "likewise") could further enrich the essay’s coherence. These additions would strengthen logical connections and enhance the flow between paragraphs.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong grasp of coherence and cohesion, effectively organizing information into well-structured paragraphs with a clear progression of ideas. By refining transitions between paragraphs and integrating more sophisticated cohesive devices, the essay could further elevate its coherence and cohesion, potentially pushing towards a higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary related to the topic. It effectively uses terms such as "economic progress," "political stability," "environmental sustainability," and "comprehensive healthcare," showcasing a good command of varied vocabulary relevant to the discussion of national success factors.
  • How to improve: To further enhance lexical resource, consider incorporating more nuanced synonyms and expressions where appropriate. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "important" or "crucial," diversify with terms like "vital," "paramount," or "integral." Additionally, integrating specific examples or case studies from various countries can enrich the discussion and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the concepts discussed.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary precisely to convey ideas; for example, terms like "comprehensive healthcare systems" and "robust health insurance systems" are accurately employed to specify the scope and effectiveness of national policies. However, there are occasional instances where vocabulary could be more precise, such as using "citizens" instead of "individuals" for clarity and specificity in certain contexts.
  • How to improve: Focus on using terminology that is contextually accurate and aligns precisely with the intended meaning. Avoid generalizations and ensure that each term used contributes directly to the clarity and depth of the argument presented.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: Spelling accuracy is generally maintained throughout the essay, with no significant errors detracting from readability or comprehension. Examples such as "economic development," "political stability," and "environmental sustainability" are correctly spelled, contributing to overall clarity and professionalism.
  • How to improve: Continue to prioritize proofreading techniques such as spell-checking software and manual review to catch any minor errors that may occasionally occur. Additionally, practicing writing under timed conditions can help reinforce spelling accuracy under pressure.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of vocabulary appropriate for academic writing on the topic of national success factors. By focusing on precision and expanding the range of vocabulary with specific examples, the writer can further elevate the lexical resource score in future compositions.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. It includes simple, compound, and complex sentences effectively. For example, complex sentences such as "Access to quality education equips individuals with the skills and knowledge necessary to contribute to the nation’s development" showcase the ability to use subordination to convey complex ideas. The use of rhetorical questions ("Is one more important than the others?") adds rhetorical flair.
  • How to improve: To further enhance sentence structure variety, consider integrating more complex sentences with embedded clauses or varying sentence lengths for stylistic impact. Utilizing more advanced grammatical structures, such as conditional sentences or passive voice constructions where appropriate, can also elevate the sophistication of the writing.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay maintains a high level of grammatical accuracy. Sentences are generally well-constructed with few errors that do not hinder comprehension. Examples like "countries with wide insurance coverage" illustrate correct use of modifiers and parallel structures.
  • How to improve: While minor errors in article usage ("the most important factors") and preposition placement ("benefits from a highly skilled workforce") were noted, these do not significantly detract from clarity. Continued practice in recognizing and correcting these nuanced errors will refine grammatical precision. Ensuring consistency in punctuation, particularly regarding comma usage in complex sentences, would further enhance readability and flow.

In summary, the essay exhibits strong grammatical range and accuracy suitable for a Band 7 score. Strengthening sentence variety through more intricate structures and fine-tuning grammatical precision will facilitate progression towards higher band scores.

Bài sửa mẫu

Economic progress is widely regarded as a significant measure of a country’s success. However, many scholars argue that additional factors should also be taken into consideration when assessing a nation’s achievements. Alongside economic development, education, healthcare, political stability, and environmental sustainability are crucial indicators of a country’s success.

To start with, education is arguably one of the most important factors in determining a country’s success. Access to high-quality education equips individuals with the skills and knowledge necessary to contribute to national development. For example, Canada, where a majority of the population holds college and university degrees, benefits from a highly skilled and educated workforce, resulting in a more innovative and competitive economy. Furthermore, a well-educated population fosters a culture of informed and active citizens, contributing to a cohesive and forward-thinking society.

Another critical factor in measuring a country’s success is the health of its population. Accessible and affordable healthcare ensures that citizens can lead healthy and productive lives. Nations with comprehensive insurance coverage, such as Germany, experience fewer citizens concerned about potential health issues, allowing them to focus on contributing positively to society and enjoying higher levels of happiness and life satisfaction.

Moreover, political stability is essential for a country’s success. A stable government can implement long-term policies that promote economic growth, social welfare, and environmental sustainability. Countries with low levels of corruption and high levels of transparency, such as Denmark, not only experience higher levels of public trust but also achieve greater economic prosperity.

Environmental sustainability is another vital factor. A country that prioritizes environmental protection and sustainability ensures the long-term health and well-being of its citizens. For instance, nations like Sweden that not only protect their natural resources but also generate new economic opportunities through investments in renewable energy and sustainable practices are able to create a greener future.

In conclusion, while economic growth remains an important measure of a country’s success, it is argued that education, healthcare, political stability, and environmental sustainability are equally, if not more, important in creating a prosperous and thriving nation. It is essential for policymakers to prioritize these factors to ensure comprehensive and sustainable development for the benefit of all citizens.