The diagram below shows how a biofuel called ethanol is produced. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant. Write at least 150 words

The diagram below shows how a biofuel called ethanol is produced.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.
Write at least 150 words

The picture demonstrates the way to do make ethanol. As can be seem from the diagram, it has variety of stages to produce ancol etylic and they are really complex beginning with the growth of plants and ending with the emission of carbon dioxide from vehicle.
First, the energy including sunlight and carbon dioxide, will grow up plants and trees which are then harvested by human using agricultural machines. Next, people use modern technology to pre- processing those production which is known as elimimating the unnecessary parts on the plants in order to keep the worthiest part.
Moving to the next stage, cellulose separated from the production will be processed carefully with chemicals which is then

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The picture demonstrates the way to do make ethanol." -> "The diagram illustrates the process of producing ethanol."
Explanation: "The diagram illustrates the process of producing ethanol" is more precise and formal, avoiding the awkward and informal construction "the way to do make ethanol."
"As can be seem from the diagram" -> "As can be seen from the diagram"
Explanation: Correcting the typo "seem" to "seen" improves the grammatical accuracy of the sentence.
"it has variety of stages to produce ancol etylic" -> "it involves numerous stages to produce ethanol"
Explanation: "Involves numerous stages" is more formal and precise than "has variety of stages," and "ethanol" is the correct spelling, replacing "ancol etylic."
"they are really complex" -> "they are highly complex"
Explanation: "Highly complex" is a more formal and precise adverbial phrase than "really complex," which is somewhat colloquial.
"the energy including sunlight and carbon dioxide, will grow up plants and trees" -> "the energy from sunlight and carbon dioxide supports the growth of plants and trees"
Explanation: "The energy from sunlight and carbon dioxide supports the growth of plants and trees" is more specific and academically appropriate, clarifying the role of energy in plant growth.
"will grow up plants and trees" -> "will grow plants and trees"
Explanation: "Will grow" is grammatically correct and avoids the informal "grow up," which is typically used for humans.
"which are then harvested by human using agricultural machines" -> "which are then harvested by humans using agricultural machinery"
Explanation: "Humans" should be plural, and "machinery" is the correct noun form for the equipment used in agriculture, replacing the less formal "machines."
"people use modern technology to pre- processing those production" -> "people use modern technology to preprocess these productions"
Explanation: "Preprocess" is the correct verb form, and "these productions" is grammatically correct, replacing the awkward and incorrect "those production."
"which is known as elimimating the unnecessary parts on the plants in order to keep the worthiest part" -> "which involves eliminating unnecessary parts from the plants to retain the most valuable components"
Explanation: "Involves eliminating" is more precise and formal than "is known as elimimating," and "retain the most valuable components" is clearer and more formal than "keep the worthiest part."
"cellulose separated from the production will be processed carefully with chemicals which is then" -> "cellulose separated from the production is then processed carefully with chemicals"
Explanation: Removing the unnecessary "will" and replacing it with "is" corrects the tense consistency, making the sentence more formal and grammatically correct.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4

Explanation: The essay attempts to address the task but does not cover all key features/bullet points. The essay does not provide a clear overview of the process, and it does not adequately highlight the key features of the process. The essay also contains some inaccuracies and irrelevant information.

How to improve: The essay needs to be more focused on the key features of the process. The writer should provide a clear overview of the process, and they should highlight the key features of each stage. The writer should also avoid irrelevant information and inaccuracies. The writer should also use more accurate and formal language. For example, instead of "the picture demonstrates the way to do make ethanol", the writer could write "The diagram illustrates the process of ethanol production".

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, but there is a noticeable lack of overall progression. While it attempts to outline the stages of ethanol production, the transitions between ideas are not always clear, leading to a disjointed flow. The use of cohesive devices is inadequate, with some phrases being repetitive or incorrectly used. Additionally, paragraphing is not effectively utilized, as the essay does not clearly separate different stages of the process into distinct paragraphs. This contributes to a lack of clarity in the overall structure of the response.
How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on clearly organizing the information into distinct paragraphs, each dedicated to a specific stage of the ethanol production process. Using a wider range of cohesive devices appropriately will help to create smoother transitions between sentences and ideas. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central topic will aid in guiding the reader through the essay more effectively. Finally, proofreading for grammatical errors and clarity will improve the overall quality of the writing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary that is minimally adequate for the task. While it attempts to describe the process of ethanol production, there are noticeable errors in word choice (e.g., "do make ethanol," "variety of stages," "ancol etylic," "worthiest part") and spelling (e.g., "elimimating," "production"). These errors may cause some difficulty for the reader in understanding the content. The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, lacking the sophistication and precision required for higher band scores.
How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary by incorporating more varied and precise terms related to the topic. Additionally, they should practice correct spelling and word formation to avoid errors that impede communication. Using synonyms and less common lexical items appropriately, while ensuring correct collocation, will also help in achieving a higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, primarily using simple sentences with some attempts at complex structures. While there are some accurate sentences, frequent grammatical errors and awkward phrasing are present, which can cause difficulty in understanding. For example, phrases like "the way to do make ethanol" and "the worthiest part" are incorrect and detract from clarity. Additionally, there are issues with punctuation and spelling, such as "ancol etylic" and "elimimating," which further hinder communication. Overall, the essay meets the criteria for Band 5 due to its limited variety in sentence structures and the presence of frequent errors.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on expanding their range of grammatical structures by incorporating more complex sentences and ensuring that they are accurately constructed. Practicing the correct use of punctuation and spelling is essential, as these errors can significantly impact clarity. Additionally, reviewing and revising sentences for grammatical accuracy and coherence will help improve overall communication. Engaging with more advanced writing resources or seeking feedback from knowledgeable peers could also enhance grammatical range and accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

The picture demonstrates the process of producing ethanol. As can be seen from the diagram, it involves a variety of stages to produce ethyl alcohol, which are quite complex, beginning with the growth of plants and ending with the emission of carbon dioxide from vehicles.

First, energy from sunlight and carbon dioxide is used to grow plants and trees, which are then harvested by humans using agricultural machines. Next, modern technology is employed for the pre-processing of these products, which involves eliminating the unnecessary parts of the plants to retain the most valuable portions.

Moving to the next stage, cellulose separated from the products is processed carefully with chemicals, which is then…