Nuclear energy is the best source of power in meeting ever-increasing needs. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?
Nuclear energy is the best source of power in meeting ever-increasing needs. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?
Controversies surrounding whether nuclear energy is the most effective source of power in an ever-changing world, have intensely persisted. From my perspective, I utterly endorse this notion for several underlying justifications.
Indisputably, the sustainability of nuclear power is capable of satisfying the rapid acceleration of necessities of people in terms of energy. This is largely due to the fact that with uranium or thorium available in natural environments, nuclear energy can be undoubtedly deployed to generate electricity without wasting finite natural resources such as coal, water and gas. This could be perfectly exemplified by the US, which has stood out as the nation with the greatest nuclear power production for electricity for multiple residential areas efficiently in lieu of placing reliance on foreign country energy after the 1973 oil crisis. Therefore, traditional power-stations may be completely supplanted by nuclear power plants in various countries with a view to laying a solid foundation for electrical energy in the long term.
Furthermore, nuclear power is internationally acclaimed as clean energy beyond doubt. To be more specific, as opposed to fossil fuel power manufactures, nuclear energy ones can be unquestionably capable of alleviating atmospheric carbon emissions including carbon dioxide or methane which indeed beget global warming. For instance, in China – which has made a swift move from the most polluted part of the world to a noticeable one with ecological transformation, reducing greenhouse gasses by 3% in the first quarter of 2024 by virtue of boosting the augmentation of this type of power. As a result, the widespread utilization of nuclear power may be certainly conducive to greener living environments on the Earth.
To reiterate, I firmly contend that nuclear energy could provide people as a means of producing electricity as well as serve as the superior remedy to climate change to others.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"Controversies surrounding" -> "Debates surrounding"
Explanation: "Debates" is a more precise term in academic contexts, indicating a formal discussion or argument, whereas "controversies" can imply a more emotional or sensational tone. -
"the most effective source of power" -> "the most viable source of energy"
Explanation: "Viable" is more specific and academically appropriate than "effective," which can be vague and subjective. "Energy" is also a more precise term than "power" in this context. -
"intensely persisted" -> "persisted intensely"
Explanation: Adjusting the word order to "persisted intensely" follows a more natural and formal structure in English. -
"I utterly endorse" -> "I strongly support"
Explanation: "Utterly" is somewhat informal and can be seen as overly emphatic for academic writing. "Strongly support" maintains a formal tone while conveying a similar level of conviction. -
"satisfying the rapid acceleration of necessities" -> "meeting the rapidly increasing energy demands"
Explanation: "Meeting the rapidly increasing energy demands" is more specific and clearer, avoiding the awkward and vague phrase "satisfying the rapid acceleration of necessities." -
"without wasting finite natural resources" -> "without depleting finite natural resources"
Explanation: "Depleting" is a more precise term than "wasting" in this context, emphasizing the reduction of resources over time. -
"placing reliance on foreign country energy" -> "relying on foreign energy"
Explanation: "Relying on foreign energy" is more concise and avoids the awkward construction of "placing reliance on foreign country energy." -
"traditional power-stations" -> "traditional power plants"
Explanation: "Power plants" is the standard term in the context of energy production, whereas "power-stations" is less commonly used and sounds informal. -
"laying a solid foundation" -> "establishing a solid foundation"
Explanation: "Establishing" is a more formal synonym for "laying," which is slightly informal and less precise in this context. -
"internationally acclaimed as clean energy" -> "widely recognized as a clean energy source"
Explanation: "Widely recognized as a clean energy source" is more specific and formal, avoiding the vague and slightly informal "internationally acclaimed." -
"fossil fuel power manufactures" -> "fossil fuel power generation"
Explanation: "Power generation" is the correct term for the process of producing energy from fossil fuels, whereas "manufactures" is incorrect and informal. -
"unquestionably capable of alleviating" -> "clearly capable of reducing"
Explanation: "Clearly capable of reducing" is a more precise and academically appropriate phrase than "unquestionably capable of alleviating," which is overly emphatic. -
"beget global warming" -> "contribute to global warming"
Explanation: "Contribute to" is a more accurate and formal way to describe the role of emissions in global warming, compared to the less precise "beget." -
"noticeable one with ecological transformation" -> "notable one with significant ecological transformations"
Explanation: "Notable" is more formal than "noticeable," and "significant ecological transformations" is more precise and formal than "ecological transformation." -
"boosting the augmentation of this type of power" -> "increasing the production of this type of energy"
Explanation: "Increasing the production of this type of energy" is clearer and more direct than "boosting the augmentation," which is awkward and unclear. -
"serve as the superior remedy to climate change" -> "serve as a superior solution to climate change"
Explanation: "Solution" is more specific and appropriate in this context than "remedy," which is typically used in medical contexts.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Task Response: 8
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by presenting a clear opinion on nuclear energy as the best source of power. It discusses both the sustainability benefits of nuclear power and its role in reducing carbon emissions, directly responding to the extent to which the writer agrees with the statement.
- How to improve: To further enhance task response, ensure that every paragraph and argument explicitly ties back to the prompt. This can be achieved by more explicitly linking each point to how nuclear energy meets "ever-increasing needs" beyond just sustainability and climate benefits.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a consistent stance in favor of nuclear energy as the best power source. It begins with a clear endorsement ("I utterly endorse this notion") and consistently supports this position throughout the essay.
- How to improve: While the position is clear, strengthen the thesis statement by explicitly stating the extent to which you agree or disagree with the prompt in the introduction. This helps guide the reader clearly from the outset.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents arguments supporting nuclear energy, such as its sustainability and environmental benefits. Specific examples are provided, such as the comparison to fossil fuels and the example from China.
- How to improve: To extend ideas further, consider discussing potential drawbacks or counterarguments briefly to demonstrate a balanced view. This would enrich the argumentation by acknowledging opposing perspectives while reinforcing the essay’s main stance.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic of nuclear energy as the best power source. It consistently relates arguments back to the advantages of nuclear power over other energy sources and its role in meeting increasing energy demands.
- How to improve: Ensure that each paragraph directly contributes to the discussion of nuclear energy’s superiority as a power source. Avoid tangential discussions that do not directly support this central argument.
Overall, the essay effectively addresses the prompt by presenting a clear, consistent, and well-supported argument in favor of nuclear energy as the best power source. To improve further, focus on explicitly linking each argument to the prompt and consider addressing potential counterarguments to strengthen the essay’s depth and balance.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally logical organization of information. It begins with an introduction that outlines the stance on nuclear energy, followed by two body paragraphs each discussing different aspects of nuclear energy (sustainability and environmental impact). The conclusion restates the opinion without introducing new arguments.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider ensuring each body paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the thesis statement. Additionally, transitioning between paragraphs could be smoother by explicitly linking back to the thesis or previous points, reinforcing the coherence of the essay.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively employs paragraphs to structure its content. Each paragraph focuses on a distinct idea (sustainability and environmental impact), providing adequate development and support for the thesis.
- How to improve: To further improve, ensure that paragraphs are consistently structured with a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting details and examples. Consider refining transitions between paragraphs to maintain a cohesive progression of ideas throughout the essay.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses a variety of cohesive devices such as transitions (e.g., "Indisputably," "Furthermore," "To reiterate"), pronouns ("this," "these"), and demonstrative adjectives ("such," "this type of power"). These devices help connect ideas within sentences and across paragraphs.
- How to improve: While cohesive devices are generally used effectively, increasing the variety and precision of these devices can further strengthen coherence. Introduce more complex cohesive devices such as conditional structures ("if…then"), parallel structures, or comparative phrases to enrich the essay’s cohesion and coherence.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid coherence and cohesion score of 6 by effectively organizing ideas into paragraphs and using a variety of cohesive devices. With refinement in logical organization, paragraph structure, and cohesive device usage, the essay could potentially achieve an even higher score.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, with attempts at using varied terms such as "indisputably," "sustainability," "deployed," "exemplified," "supplanted," "acclaimed," "alleviating," "beget," "transformation," and "conducive." However, some phrases lack precision or are slightly repetitive (e.g., "indisputably capable," "undeniably deployed").
- How to improve: To enhance your score, aim for more precise and varied vocabulary. Instead of repeating phrases like "undeniably capable," consider using synonyms or more specific terms that accurately convey your ideas. For example, replace "undeniably capable" with "efficiently able" or "effectively capable." Additionally, incorporate more advanced vocabulary where possible to demonstrate a broader lexical range.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay occasionally uses vocabulary precisely, such as "alleviating atmospheric carbon emissions" and "global warming." However, there are instances of imprecise word choices or redundancy, like "beget global warming," which could be replaced with "contribute to global warming."
- How to improve: Work on using vocabulary that precisely fits the context. Avoid phrases that may sound overly formal or convoluted, such as "beget," and opt for simpler, clearer expressions where appropriate. For instance, use "contribute to" instead of "beget" when discussing the causes of global warming. This clarity will enhance both precision and coherence in your arguments.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: Spelling is generally accurate throughout the essay. However, there are minor errors such as "manufactures" (should be "manufacturers"), "carbon emissions including carbon dioxide or methane which indeed beget global warming" (awkward phrasing and redundant use of "carbon"), and "augmentation of this type of power" (could be clearer as "increase in nuclear power generation").
- How to improve: Ensure thorough proofreading to catch these minor errors. Pay attention to word forms (e.g., "manufactures" vs. "manufacturers") and the clarity of your expressions to avoid redundancy and improve coherence.
In summary, while your essay demonstrates a satisfactory range of vocabulary and generally accurate spelling, there’s room for improvement in using vocabulary more precisely and ensuring flawless spelling and grammar. Focus on clarity and coherence in your expressions to enhance the overall quality of your writing.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable attempt to vary sentence structures. It includes complex sentences ("Controversies surrounding whether nuclear energy is the most effective source of power… have intensely persisted"), compound-complex sentences ("This could be perfectly exemplified by the US, which has stood out as the nation with the greatest nuclear power production…"), and compound sentences ("Therefore, traditional power-stations may be completely supplanted by nuclear power plants…"). These structures enhance the readability and flow of the essay.
- How to improve: To further enhance variety, consider integrating more concise sentences for clarity amidst complex ones. Also, explore the use of rhetorical questions or conditional sentences to engage the reader further. This will add sophistication and coherence to your argument.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a strong level of grammatical accuracy with minor errors. For instance, there are instances of incorrect plural forms ("necessities of people" should be "people’s necessities"), and occasional incorrect prepositions ("capable of satisfying the rapid acceleration of necessities of people" could be "capable of satisfying the rapidly increasing energy needs of people"). Punctuation is generally correct, although there are places where sentence structure could benefit from clearer punctuation to aid readability.
- How to improve: Focus on mastering singular and plural forms consistently. Also, pay attention to prepositions and their appropriate usage in sentences to avoid awkward phrasing. For punctuation, ensure that commas are used effectively to separate ideas within sentences and to clarify the structure of complex sentences.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammatical structures and punctuation, there are areas where attention to detail can further elevate the clarity and precision of the writing. Continued practice with varied sentence structures and meticulous proofreading will contribute to achieving higher scores in grammatical range and accuracy.