describe a neighbor who you get on well with

If you ask me to describe a neighbor who fascinates me the most, I won't think twice about talking about Mr. Trang, who is really open-minded and jovial. He lives opposite my house; therefore, I usually come over to play with his family whenever I have free time. . Although he is older than me, we have hit it off since we first met, which is quite unusual for an introvert like me. He is also over 40 years old this year; he has three children: one son and two daughters. He has hobbies like planting trees and taking care of ornamental birds. He is a cheerful person, sociable with neighbors, and loves children. Everyone in the neighborhood loves him. Every morning when I go to school, I see him sitting on the veranda and drinking water. Every time I greet him, he warmly greets me back with a smile. My family is very close to his family, so every time my family comes back from a trip, we always bring gifts to give to his family. In my neighborhood, whenever there is a problem between neighbors, he is usually the one to mediate. He is like that—not only me, but everyone in my neighborhood also loves him very much.Although I cannot live close to him due to my hectic schedule, we are still on excellent terms with each other. Hopefully, I can still talk and share with him forever.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"If you ask me to describe a neighbor who fascinates me the most" -> "If I were to describe a neighbor who has fascinated me the most"
Explanation: The phrase "If you ask me" is somewhat informal and conversational. Replacing it with "If I were to describe" formalizes the tone and aligns better with academic writing standards.
"I won’t think twice about talking about Mr. Trang" -> "I would readily discuss Mr. Trang"
Explanation: "Won’t think twice about" is colloquial and slightly informal. "Would readily discuss" is more formal and precise, suitable for academic writing.
"really open-minded and jovial" -> "extremely open-minded and jovial"
Explanation: "Really" is somewhat informal and vague. "Extremely" is more precise and formal, enhancing the academic tone.
"lives opposite my house" -> "resides adjacent to my residence"
Explanation: "Lives opposite my house" is informal and slightly imprecise. "Resides adjacent to my residence" is more formal and specific, suitable for an academic context.
"I usually come over to play with his family" -> "I frequently visit his family to engage in recreational activities"
Explanation: "Come over to play" is informal and vague. "Frequently visit his family to engage in recreational activities" is more formal and specific, enhancing the academic tone.
"he is also over 40 years old this year" -> "he is currently over 40 years old"
Explanation: "This year" is unnecessary and informal. "Currently" is more precise and formal, suitable for academic writing.
"he has hobbies like planting trees and taking care of ornamental birds" -> "he engages in hobbies such as tree planting and ornithology"
Explanation: "Has hobbies like" is informal and vague. "Engages in hobbies such as" is more formal and specific, and "ornithology" is a more precise term than "taking care of ornamental birds."
"cheerful person, sociable with neighbors, and loves children" -> "a cheerful individual, sociable with neighbors, and fond of children"
Explanation: "Cheerful person" and "loves children" are informal and slightly vague. "A cheerful individual" and "fond of children" are more formal and precise.
"Every time I greet him, he warmly greets me back with a smile" -> "Each time I greet him, he reciprocates with a warm smile"
Explanation: "Warmly greets me back" is redundant and informal. "Reciprocates with a warm smile" is more concise and formal, avoiding redundancy.
"we are still on excellent terms with each other" -> "our relationship remains excellent"
Explanation: "On excellent terms" is slightly informal and colloquial. "Our relationship remains excellent" is more formal and succinct.
"Hopefully, I can still talk and share with him forever" -> "I hope to continue our conversations and share with him indefinitely"
Explanation: "Hopefully" is somewhat informal and vague. "I hope to continue our conversations and share with him indefinitely" is more formal and precise, fitting the academic style better.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately describes a neighbor the writer gets along well with, focusing on Mr. Trang. It details his personality, hobbies, interactions with the neighborhood, and the writer’s personal relationship with him.
- How to improve: To enhance task response, ensure all aspects of the prompt are thoroughly addressed. The essay could have elaborated more on specific interactions that illustrate the strong bond with Mr. Trang and how these interactions impact the writer’s life.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a consistent stance by describing Mr. Trang as a likable and admirable neighbor. The writer clearly expresses admiration for Mr. Trang’s qualities and recounts personal experiences that demonstrate their good relationship.
- How to improve: Strengthen clarity by explicitly stating the writer’s admiration early on and consistently reinforcing it throughout the essay. Avoid generalized statements and provide specific instances that support the stance.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: Ideas are presented regarding Mr. Trang’s personality, hobbies, and his role in the neighborhood. The essay extends these ideas by giving examples of his daily interactions and the writer’s personal anecdotes.
- How to improve: Improve by further developing each idea with deeper insights or additional examples. Expand on how Mr. Trang’s hobbies or mediation skills impact the neighborhood positively. Provide more specific details or anecdotes to enrich the content.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay predominantly stays on topic by focusing on describing the writer’s relationship with Mr. Trang and his influence within the neighborhood.
- How to improve: Ensure all content directly relates to the prompt. Avoid tangential details or generalizations that do not contribute to describing the relationship with Mr. Trang.

Overall, while the essay effectively portrays a positive relationship with Mr. Trang, it falls slightly short in fully addressing all parts of the prompt in sufficient depth. To improve, focus on providing more specific examples and insights that directly relate to the qualities and interactions that make Mr. Trang a fascinating neighbor.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally logical organization by introducing Mr. Trang and his characteristics early on, followed by specific details about his family, hobbies, and interactions with the neighborhood. However, the transitions between some ideas could be smoother, such as the shift from describing Mr. Trang’s hobbies to his daily routine and his role in the neighborhood.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, ensure that each paragraph develops a single main idea cohesively. Consider using transition phrases or sentences to connect different parts of the essay more effectively. For instance, after describing Mr. Trang’s hobbies, transition smoothly into how these hobbies reflect his personality or impact his relationships with neighbors.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is divided into paragraphs, but their structure could be more refined. Each paragraph tends to blend different aspects (e.g., hobbies and daily routine), making it occasionally challenging to follow a clear thematic progression.
- How to improve: Aim for clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that succinctly summarize the main point. Ensure each paragraph focuses on one aspect of Mr. Trang’s personality or role in the neighborhood. For instance, dedicate one paragraph solely to his hobbies and another to his interactions with neighbors, creating a more organized and coherent structure.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs basic cohesive devices such as pronouns ("he," "his") and temporal markers ("Every morning," "whenever"). However, there is limited use of more sophisticated cohesive devices such as conjunctions (e.g., "therefore," "however") or linking adverbs.
- How to improve: Introduce a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow and coherence of ideas. For example, use conjunctions to show relationships between sentences (e.g., "Moreover, his friendly demeanor extends beyond his immediate family."). Incorporate linking adverbs to connect paragraphs and ideas more explicitly (e.g., "Consequently, his mediation skills are valued by everyone in the neighborhood."). This will help create a smoother and more cohesive narrative throughout the essay.

Overall, while the essay effectively describes Mr. Trang and his relationship with the neighborhood, enhancing the logical organization, refining paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices will elevate coherence and cohesion to a higher band score. These improvements will lead to a more structured and engaging essay for the reader.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. It includes terms like "fascinates," "open-minded," "jovial," "introvert," "ornamental," "veranda," "mediate," and "hectic," which add some variety and depth to the description of the neighbor.
- How to improve: To enhance the score in this criterion, consider incorporating more precise and nuanced vocabulary related to describing personalities and relationships. For instance, instead of "open-minded," specific traits or behaviors that illustrate his openness could be detailed. Use more sophisticated synonyms and avoid repetition of common words like "love" and "like," which appear frequently.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay occasionally uses vocabulary precisely, such as "meditate" in the context of resolving disputes, and "ornamental birds" to describe his hobbies. However, there are instances where vocabulary could be more precise. For example, using specific terms to describe the neighbor’s demeanor and interactions could enhance clarity and depth.
- How to improve: Aim to use more specific and contextually appropriate vocabulary. For instance, instead of "cheerful," consider descriptors like "affable," "buoyant," or "gregarious" to convey nuances in his personality. Ensure that each word chosen aligns precisely with the intended meaning and context of the essay.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: Spelling is generally accurate throughout the essay, with only minor errors ("mediate" instead of "mediate," "ornamental birds" instead of "ornamental birds"). Overall, spelling does not detract significantly from comprehension.
- How to improve: Maintain the current level of attention to spelling accuracy. Consider proofreading carefully to catch any minor errors that might affect clarity or professionalism.

In conclusion, while the essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary and generally precise usage with accurate spelling, there is room for improvement to elevate the lexical resource score to a higher band. Focus on expanding the variety and precision of vocabulary choices, ensuring they align closely with the topic and effectively convey the intended meanings. Continue to refine spelling accuracy through careful proofreading practices.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences. For example, the use of compound-complex sentences such as "Although he is older than me, we have hit it off since we first met, which is quite unusual for an introvert like me" showcases a good mix of clauses and connectors.
- How to improve: To further enhance, consider incorporating more sophisticated structures like inversion (e.g., "Rarely do I encounter such an open-minded neighbor") or conditional sentences (e.g., "If not for his mediation, neighborhood disputes might escalate"). This would elevate the complexity and depth of expression, fitting for a higher band score.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Generally, the essay maintains a solid level of grammatical accuracy with minor errors, such as occasional subject-verb agreement issues ("Every time I greet him, he warmly greets me back with a smile") and punctuation misuse (e.g., unnecessary comma before "which" in "since we first met, which").
- How to improve: Focus on eliminating these minor errors to enhance clarity and precision. Practice recognizing and correcting subject-verb agreements consistently throughout the essay. Additionally, revise for punctuation rules, particularly concerning coordinating conjunctions and restrictive clauses, to refine sentence structure and coherence.

Overall, the essay effectively utilizes a varied range of sentence structures, contributing to coherence and engagement. With continued attention to grammatical accuracy and punctuation precision, the candidate can further refine their expression to achieve a higher band score in future assessments.

Bài sửa mẫu

If you were to ask me about a neighbor who I really get along well with, I would immediately mention Mr. Trang. He is extremely open-minded and cheerful. He lives across the street from my house, so I often visit his family to spend time together when I have free moments. Despite being older than me, we connected from the first time we met, which is surprising given my usually reserved nature. Mr. Trang just turned 40 this year and has three children: a son and two daughters. His hobbies include planting trees and caring for ornamental birds. He is a friendly and sociable person who is adored by everyone in our neighborhood. Every morning when I pass by his house on my way to school, I see him sitting on the porch, sipping water. Whenever I greet him, he always responds with a warm smile. Our families are close, and whenever we return from a trip, we make it a point to bring them gifts. In our neighborhood, if there are any issues between neighbors, he is often the one who steps in to help resolve them. He is beloved not just by me, but by everyone here. Even though my busy schedule keeps me from spending as much time with him as I’d like, we maintain an excellent relationship. I look forward to continuing our conversations and sharing moments with him for a long time to come.