the chart shows the total distance travelled by passengers on five types of transport in UK between 1990 and 2000.

The bar chart illustrates the overall distance which travelled by travellers on five distinct forms of transportation in the UK from 1990 to 2000.
Overall, while bus, rail and air registers a upward trend, others manifested a reverse trend. Additionally, in the year 2000 saw a significant escalation in the overall distance versus to that of the former year.
Looking at the data in 1990, compared to rail transportation, which stands at nearly 40 kilometres, bus's overall distance experienced a significant higher figure at exactly 40 kilometres, which ranked the first higher in the former year. Whereas, the number of distance of bicycle and motobike were extremely modest, provided a negligible amount in that year, air transportation received more lower than that, a tiny fraction in the year 1990
Turning to the remaining years between 1990 and 2000, abeit of marginally increased, bus transportation remained the highest stat at over 40 kilometres. Being passed by bus type, rail type ranked the second higher. Plus, in the last year, although increased in total distance, air transport no much in progress, just about 2 kilometres in the year 2000. This slightly increased was quite equivalent to the figure of distance of bicycle and motobike type in the year 1990. However, in the latter years, 2 types considerable plummeted over the period shown. Finally, these expands came from the quantity of distance in bus and rail contributed to a higher number in the latter year relative to that of the former year.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The bar chart illustrates the overall distance which travelled by travellers" -> "The bar chart illustrates the total distance traveled by travelers"
Explanation: "Which travelled" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. "Total distance traveled" is more precise and correctly formed, and "travelers" should be used instead of "travellers" to maintain consistency in American English usage in academic writing.
"registers a upward trend" -> "shows an upward trend"
Explanation: "Registers" is not the correct verb in this context; "shows" is more appropriate for describing the display of data in a chart.
"manifested a reverse trend" -> "displayed a downward trend"
Explanation: "Manifested" is not typically used in this context; "displayed" is more accurate for describing the presentation of data. "Downward trend" is also more precise than "reverse trend."
"in the year 2000 saw a significant escalation in the overall distance versus to that of the former year" -> "in 2000, there was a significant increase in the overall distance compared to that of the previous year"
Explanation: "Saw" is too informal and vague; "there was" is more formal. "Escalation" implies a sudden, dramatic change, which may not be accurate here; "increase" is more neutral and precise. "Versus to" is grammatically incorrect; "compared to" is the correct preposition.
"ranked the first higher" -> "ranked highest"
Explanation: "Ranked the first higher" is redundant; "ranked highest" is succinct and correct.
"received more lower than that" -> "was lower than that"
Explanation: "Received more lower" is grammatically incorrect. "Was lower than that" is the correct comparative form.
"a tiny fraction in the year 1990" -> "a small fraction in 1990"
Explanation: "A tiny fraction" is redundant; "small fraction" is sufficient. Removing "the year" before "1990" simplifies the sentence.
"abeit of marginally increased" -> "marginally increased"
Explanation: "Abeit of" is incorrect; "marginally increased" is the correct phrase.
"Being passed by bus type, rail type ranked the second higher" -> "As bus travel surpassed rail travel, the latter ranked second"
Explanation: "Being passed by bus type" is awkward and unclear; "As bus travel surpassed rail travel" is clearer and more formal. "The latter" is more precise than "rail type."
"no much in progress" -> "little progress"
Explanation: "No much in progress" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. "Little progress" is correct and concise.
"just about 2 kilometres in the year 2000" -> "approximately 2 kilometers in 2000"
Explanation: "Just about" is informal and vague; "approximately" is more precise and formal. "Kilometers" should be spelled correctly in American English as "kilometers."
"these expands came from" -> "these increases came from"
Explanation: "Expands" is incorrect in this context; "increases" is the correct term for referring to changes in quantity.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4

Explanation: The essay attempts to address the task but does not cover all key features/bullet points. The essay does not present a clear overview of the main trends in the data. The essay also confuses key features/bullet points with detail. For example, the essay states that "bus transportation remained the highest stat at over 40 kilometres" but does not provide any specific data to support this claim. The essay also states that "air transport no much in progress, just about 2 kilometres in the year 2000" but does not provide any context for this statement.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the main trends in the data. The essay could also be improved by providing more specific data to support its claims. For example, the essay could state that "bus transportation remained the highest stat at over 40 kilometres in 1990 and 2000" and then provide specific data to support this claim. The essay could also provide more context for its statements. For example, the essay could state that "air transport no much in progress, just about 2 kilometres in the year 2000, which is a significant increase from the previous year."

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, but there are noticeable issues with overall progression and clarity. While it attempts to describe trends and comparisons, the lack of clear referencing and the repetitive use of phrases detract from the coherence of the response. Additionally, the paragraphing is inconsistent, which further complicates the reader’s understanding of the information presented.
How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on improving the logical flow of ideas by clearly linking sentences and paragraphs. Using a wider range of cohesive devices appropriately and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central topic would also help. Furthermore, avoiding repetitive phrases and ensuring accurate referencing would contribute to a more coherent essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary that is minimally adequate for the task. While it attempts to use some less common lexical items, such as "escalation" and "plummeted," there are noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as "the overall distance which travelled" and "the number of distance of bicycle and motobike." Additionally, there are several spelling and grammatical errors, such as "abiet" instead of "albeit," and "no much in progress," which may cause some difficulty for the reader. The overall coherence of the essay is affected by these lexical inaccuracies.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary and using it more accurately. This includes practicing the correct collocations and forms of words, as well as avoiding redundancy (e.g., "the number of distance" could be simplified to "the distance"). Additionally, proofreading for spelling and grammatical errors before submission would help improve clarity and precision. Engaging with a wider range of reading materials can also aid in developing a more sophisticated vocabulary.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, primarily using simple sentences with some attempts at complex forms. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly in subject-verb agreement and sentence structure, which can cause difficulty for the reader. For example, phrases like "the overall distance which travelled by travellers" and "the number of distance of bicycle and motobike were extremely modest" contain errors that hinder clarity. Additionally, punctuation is often faulty, leading to run-on sentences and confusion in meaning. Overall, while the essay attempts to convey information, the grammatical issues significantly impact its effectiveness.
How to improve: To enhance grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on the following areas:

Sentence Structure: Practice constructing a variety of sentence types, including complex and compound sentences, to improve fluency and coherence.
Grammar Review: Regularly review grammar rules, particularly those related to subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles.
Punctuation: Work on correct punctuation usage to avoid run-on sentences and clarify meaning.
Proofreading: Develop a habit of proofreading to identify and correct errors before finalizing the essay. This will help in minimizing mistakes and improving overall clarity.

Bài sửa mẫu

The bar chart illustrates the overall distance travelled by passengers on five distinct forms of transportation in the UK from 1990 to 2000. Overall, while bus, rail, and air transport registered an upward trend, the other forms exhibited a downward trend. Additionally, the year 2000 saw a significant escalation in the overall distance compared to the previous year.

Looking at the data for 1990, rail transportation stood at nearly 40 kilometres, while the overall distance for buses experienced a significantly higher figure of exactly 40 kilometres, ranking first in that year. In contrast, the distances for bicycles and motorbikes were extremely modest, providing negligible amounts in that year, while air transportation accounted for even less, representing a tiny fraction in 1990.

Turning to the remaining years between 1990 and 2000, although there was a marginal increase, bus transportation maintained the highest statistic at over 40 kilometres. Following buses, rail transport ranked second. Furthermore, in the final year, despite an increase in total distance, air transport showed little progress, with only about a 2-kilometre rise in 2000. This slight increase was quite comparable to the distance figures for bicycles and motorbikes in 1990. However, in the subsequent years, these two types experienced a considerable decline over the period shown. Finally, the increases in the distances for buses and rail contributed to a higher total in the latter year relative to that of the former year.