Percentage terms the results of a survey of a new shopping complex The table below shows the results of a survey of the average number of cars per hour using three suburban roads during working hours in a ten-year pollution monitoring program. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

Percentage terms the results of a survey of a new shopping complex
The table below shows the results of a survey of the average number of cars per hour using three suburban roads during working hours in a ten-year pollution monitoring program. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The given table shows the number of car perhour using car in three suburban roads from 1993 to 2002. It is clear that a wild increase, Long Lane show the most significant rise.

Harper Lane started the lowest rate of 82 cars, which was also the lowest number amount three rows in the first year before slighting growth to 100 cars in one year. Over the next four years, the number of cars per hour using in Harper Lane was a significant climbed from 382 cars in 1995 to the highest rate of 915 cars in 1998, which produced the highest amount compared to the other two routes. In 1999, Harper lane accounted for a dramatic decreases to 204 cars before aminimum fluctuation to finish at 193 cars.

Starting Great York Way was the highest rate amount the three roads at 600 cars and floatuation to stand at 695 cars in 1998 before rising to the highest rate of around 900 cars in the last four years. The first four years, the number of cars per hours using Great York Way road was a double increased to 800 and a slight decreased to 700 cars in 1998. The next three years, it saw a steady increase of 200 cars to reach the highest firgue for 1400, kept stable at this rate in the last year.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "car perhour" -> "cars per hour"
   Explanation: "perhour" is a typographical error; "cars per hour" is the correct term, which is also more formal and appropriate for academic writing.

2. "using car" -> "using cars"
   Explanation: "using car" is grammatically incorrect as "car" is a noun and should be pluralized to match the context of "number of cars."

3. "a wild increase" -> "a significant increase"
   Explanation: "wild" is too informal and vague for academic writing; "significant" is more precise and appropriate for describing changes in data.

4. "Long Lane show" -> "Long Lane shows"
   Explanation: "show" should be the plural form "shows" to agree with the plural subject "Long Lane."

5. "the lowest number amount three rows" -> "the lowest number among the three rows"
   Explanation: "the lowest number amount three rows" is grammatically incorrect and unclear. "the lowest number among the three rows" corrects the grammar and clarifies the meaning.

6. "slighting growth" -> "slight growth"
   Explanation: "slighting" is incorrect; "slight" is the correct adjective form to describe a small increase.

7. "significant climbed" -> "significantly increased"
   Explanation: "significant climbed" is incorrect; "significantly increased" is the correct phrase to describe a significant change.

8. "the highest rate of 915 cars" -> "the highest rate of 915 cars per hour"
   Explanation: Adding "per hour" clarifies the unit of measurement, enhancing clarity and precision.

9. "dramatic decreases" -> "dramatic decrease"
   Explanation: "decreases" should be singular to match the singular subject "Harper lane."

10. "aminimum fluctuation" -> "a minimum fluctuation"
    Explanation: "aminimum" is a typographical error; "a minimum" is the correct phrase.

11. "finish at 193 cars" -> "ended at 193 cars"
    Explanation: "finish" is too informal and vague; "ended" is more precise and formal.

12. "Starting Great York Way" -> "Starting at Great York Way"
    Explanation: "Starting" is not the correct preposition; "at" is needed to indicate the beginning of the data series.

13. "floatuation" -> "fluctuation"
    Explanation: "floatuation" is a typographical error; "fluctuation" is the correct term.

14. "the highest firgue" -> "the highest figure"
    Explanation: "firgue" is a typographical error; "figure" is the correct term.

15. "kept stable at this rate" -> "remained stable at this rate"
    Explanation: "kept" is somewhat informal and less precise; "remained" is more formal and suitable for academic writing.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4

Explanation: The essay attempts to address the task but does not cover all key features/bullet points. The essay does not provide a clear overview of the main trends in the data. The essay also confuses key features/bullet points with detail. For example, the essay states that "Harper Lane started the lowest rate of 82 cars, which was also the lowest number amount three rows in the first year before slighting growth to 100 cars in one year." This is a detail, not a key feature. The essay also states that "The first four years, the number of cars per hours using Great York Way road was a double increased to 800 and a slight decreased to 700 cars in 1998." This is a confusing and inaccurate statement. The essay does not provide a clear and accurate overview of the data.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clear overview of the main trends in the data. The essay should also focus on key features/bullet points, rather than details. The essay should be written in a clear and concise style, avoiding confusing or inaccurate statements. The essay should also be well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, but there are notable issues with overall progression and clarity. While it attempts to summarize the data from the table, the lack of clear referencing and some inaccuracies in the use of cohesive devices hinder the overall coherence. The paragraphing is present but not always logical, and there are instances of repetition and unclear phrasing that affect the reader’s understanding.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on the following areas:

1. Clear Structure: Organize the essay into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct main idea. For instance, one paragraph could focus on Harper Lane, another on Great York Way, and a third on Long Lane.
2. Cohesive Devices: Use a wider range of cohesive devices appropriately to link ideas and sentences. Avoid overusing certain phrases and ensure that transitions between sentences and paragraphs are smooth.
3. Clarity and Precision: Revise for grammatical accuracy and clarity. Ensure that terms like "increase," "decrease," and "fluctuation" are used correctly and that the data presented is accurate.
4. Referencing: Use referencing techniques to avoid repetition and improve clarity. For example, instead of repeatedly naming "Harper Lane," use pronouns or synonyms where appropriate.
5. Proofreading: Take time to proofread for spelling and grammatical errors, as these can detract from the overall quality of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary that is minimally adequate for the task. While it attempts to convey the main features of the data, the use of vocabulary is often repetitive and includes noticeable errors in spelling and word formation, which can cause some difficulty for the reader. For instance, phrases like "the highest rate amount the three roads" and "a wild increase" indicate a lack of precision and control over word choice. Additionally, the essay contains several grammatical errors and awkward phrases that detract from the overall clarity of the message.

How to improve: To enhance the Lexical Resource score, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary range by incorporating more varied and precise terms related to data description and comparison. Additionally, practicing correct spelling and word formation is crucial; utilizing tools such as spell check or vocabulary lists can help. Furthermore, the writer should aim to use less common lexical items appropriately and ensure that collocations are used correctly to improve fluency and flexibility in conveying precise meanings. Regular reading and writing practice can also aid in developing a more sophisticated vocabulary.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, primarily relying on simple sentences. While there are attempts at complex sentences, they are often inaccurate, leading to frequent grammatical errors. For instance, phrases like "a wild increase" and "the highest rate amount the three roads" indicate issues with word choice and sentence construction. Additionally, there are several punctuation errors, such as missing commas and incorrect spacing, which can cause some difficulty for the reader in understanding the intended meaning. Overall, while the essay conveys some information, the grammatical inaccuracies hinder effective communication.

How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on the following areas:

1. Variety of Sentence Structures: Incorporate a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical structures.
2. Accuracy in Grammar: Review and practice common grammatical rules, particularly subject-verb agreement and correct verb tenses, to reduce errors.
3. Punctuation: Pay attention to punctuation rules, ensuring that commas are used appropriately to separate clauses and items in a list.
4. Word Choice: Use precise vocabulary to convey ideas more clearly, avoiding vague or incorrect phrases that may confuse the reader.
5. Proofreading: After writing, take time to proofread the essay for any grammatical or punctuation errors before submission.

Bài sửa mẫu

The given table shows the number of cars per hour using three suburban roads from 1993 to 2002. It is clear that there was a significant increase, with Long Lane showing the most notable rise.

Harper Lane started with the lowest rate of 82 cars, which was also the lowest number among the three roads in the first year, before experiencing slight growth to 100 cars in the following year. Over the next four years, the number of cars per hour using Harper Lane significantly climbed from 382 cars in 1995 to the highest rate of 915 cars in 1998, which was the highest amount compared to the other two routes. In 1999, Harper Lane accounted for a dramatic decrease to 204 cars, before experiencing minimal fluctuation to finish at 193 cars.

Great York Way began with the highest rate among the three roads at 600 cars and fluctuated to stand at 695 cars in 1998, before rising to around 900 cars in the last four years. In the first four years, the number of cars per hour using Great York Way doubled to 800, followed by a slight decrease to 700 cars in 1998. In the next three years, it saw a steady increase of 200 cars to reach the highest figure of 1400, remaining stable at this rate in the last year.