Some people say that the Internet is making the world smaller by bringing people together. To what extent do you agree that the internet is making it easier for people to communicate with one another?

In contemporary society, a growing number of individuals assert that the Internet fosters closer relationships by facilitating communication among people across vast distances. I wholeheartedly agree with this perspective for several compelling reasons.

Foremost among these reasons is the unprecedented accessibility to the Internet provided by advancements in technology. Today, individuals can utilize various devices, such as smartphones and laptops, to easily connect with friends, family, and acquaintances at the click of a button, at any time of day. This accessibility has revolutionized social interactions, enabling users to maintain relationships regardless of geographical constraints. For instance, platforms such as Facebook and Instagram have become popular avenues for the youth to share their experiences, photos, and opinions. These platforms allow others to engage meaningfully by commenting or reacting, thereby fostering a sense of connection and community among users.

Moreover, the Internet serves as a rapid means of transmitting information and messages, significantly reducing the time and effort associated with traditional forms of communication. Rather than relying on face-to-face interactions, which can be logistically challenging for those separated by long distances, individuals now have the option to communicate instantaneously through text messages. This mode of communication not only saves time but also mitigates travel-related expenses. For instance, in the past, parents would have to compose handwritten letters to share daily updates with their children, requiring a trip to the post office. In contrast, today's parents can simply send a text message, making communication more convenient and efficient.

In conclusion, the aforementioned points illustrate that the Internet undeniably serves as a powerful tool for enhancing interpersonal communication. By bridging distances and providing an immediate platform for interaction, it has made it significantly easier for individuals to connect with one another. Thus, I firmly concur that the Internet plays a pivotal role in fostering a more interconnected world.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"a growing number of individuals assert" -> "an increasing number of individuals contend"
Explanation: "Contend" is more precise and academically appropriate than "assert" in this context, as it implies a more formal and scholarly stance on the issue.
"wholeheartedly agree" -> "strongly concur"
Explanation: "Strongly concur" is a more formal expression suitable for academic writing, replacing the colloquial "wholeheartedly agree."
"compelling reasons" -> "persuasive arguments"
Explanation: "Persuasive arguments" is more specific and academically precise than "compelling reasons," which can be vague and less formal.
"at the click of a button" -> "with a single click"
Explanation: "With a single click" is a more formal and precise way to describe the ease of use, avoiding the colloquial "at the click of a button."
"at any time of day" -> "at any hour"
Explanation: "At any hour" is a more formal and concise alternative to "at any time of day," which is slightly redundant.
"the youth" -> "young people"
Explanation: "Young people" is a more formal and inclusive term compared to the less formal "the youth."
"share their experiences, photos, and opinions" -> "share their experiences, photographs, and views"
Explanation: "Photographs" and "views" are more formal terms than "photos" and "opinions," enhancing the academic tone.
"engaging meaningfully" -> "engaging meaningfully"
Explanation: This is a typographical error; the word "meaningfully" should not be repeated.
"rapid means of transmitting" -> "swift means of communication"
Explanation: "Swift means of communication" is a more precise and formal way to describe the speed and purpose of the Internet.
"logistically challenging" -> "logistically difficult"
Explanation: "Difficult" is more appropriate in this context, as it directly relates to the challenges faced, whereas "challenging" can be vague.
"travel-related expenses" -> "travel costs"
Explanation: "Travel costs" is a more specific and formal term than "travel-related expenses."
"compose handwritten letters" -> "write handwritten letters"
Explanation: "Write" is more direct and formal than "compose," which can imply a more creative or artistic process.
"a trip to the post office" -> "a visit to the post office"
Explanation: "Visit" is more formal and precise than "trip," which can imply a longer journey.
"send a text message" -> "send a text"
Explanation: "Send a text" is a more concise and formal way to refer to the act of sending a short message.
"Thus, I firmly concur" -> "Therefore, I firmly agree"
Explanation: "Therefore" is a more formal transitional word than "Thus," and "agree" is slightly more appropriate in academic writing than "concur," which can be less commonly used in everyday discourse.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by agreeing with the statement that the Internet makes it easier for people to communicate. The author presents a clear argument that supports this view, focusing on accessibility and the speed of communication as key factors. The examples provided, such as the use of social media platforms and the comparison of traditional communication methods to modern texting, illustrate the points well. However, the essay could have explored counterarguments or limitations of the Internet in communication, which would provide a more balanced view of the topic.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay could include a brief discussion of potential drawbacks of Internet communication, such as the lack of face-to-face interaction or the potential for miscommunication. This would demonstrate a more nuanced understanding of the topic and strengthen the overall argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The position taken by the author is clear and consistent throughout the essay. The phrase "I wholeheartedly agree" in the introduction establishes a strong stance, and this is maintained in the body paragraphs. The conclusion reiterates this agreement effectively. The use of phrases such as "foremost among these reasons" and "in contrast" helps to guide the reader through the argument logically.
- How to improve: While the position is clear, the essay could benefit from more explicit transitions between points to further reinforce the author’s stance. For example, using transitional phrases that connect the accessibility of the Internet with its impact on communication could enhance the flow and coherence of the argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents and supports ideas well, particularly in discussing the accessibility of the Internet and the efficiency of modern communication methods. The examples provided are relevant and effectively illustrate the points made. However, the essay could delve deeper into the implications of these points, such as discussing how these changes in communication affect relationships on a broader scale.
- How to improve: To improve the depth of analysis, the author could expand on the implications of the examples given. For instance, discussing how social media influences the quality of relationships or how instant communication affects emotional connections would provide a more comprehensive examination of the topic.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic of the Internet’s role in facilitating communication, consistently addressing the prompt without deviating into unrelated areas. The structure is logical, with each paragraph contributing to the overall argument.
- How to improve: While the essay stays on topic, ensuring that each point made directly ties back to the central thesis can further strengthen the argument. The author might consider explicitly linking each example back to the main claim about the Internet making communication easier, reinforcing the relevance of each point to the overall argument.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a well-structured argument. By incorporating counterarguments, enhancing transitions, deepening the analysis of ideas, and ensuring explicit connections to the thesis, the author could elevate the essay to an even higher level of sophistication.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is well-organized, with a clear introduction that states the writer’s position, followed by two body paragraphs that each present a distinct reason supporting the argument. The progression from the introduction to the body paragraphs is logical, with each paragraph building on the previous one. For example, the first body paragraph discusses accessibility, while the second focuses on the speed of communication, both of which are relevant to the central thesis. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces the writer’s stance.
- How to improve: To enhance the logical flow, the writer could include transitional phrases at the beginning of each body paragraph to signal the shift in focus. For instance, using phrases like "In addition to accessibility," or "Another significant aspect is…" can help guide the reader through the argument more smoothly.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively utilizes paragraphs, with each paragraph dedicated to a single main idea. The introduction sets the stage for the argument, while the body paragraphs are clearly delineated, making it easy for the reader to follow the writer’s reasoning. The conclusion succinctly wraps up the argument without introducing new ideas, which is a strong practice in essay writing.
- How to improve: While the paragraphing is generally effective, the writer could enhance clarity by ensuring that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea. For example, the first body paragraph could start with a sentence like, "The accessibility of the Internet has transformed how individuals maintain relationships," which would immediately inform the reader of the paragraph’s focus.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "foremost among these reasons," "moreover," and "for instance," which help to connect ideas and provide examples. These devices contribute to the overall coherence of the essay, allowing the reader to follow the argument without confusion. The use of specific examples, such as mentioning Facebook and Instagram, also enhances the cohesiveness of the argument.
- How to improve: To further diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer could incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, using alternatives to "moreover," such as "furthermore" or "in addition," can add variety. Additionally, the writer could include contrasting cohesive devices, like "however," to acknowledge potential counterarguments, which would enrich the discussion and demonstrate a more nuanced understanding of the topic.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and coherent, effectively addressing the prompt with clear arguments and supporting examples. By implementing the suggested improvements, the writer can enhance the clarity and sophistication of their writing, potentially achieving an even higher score in the Coherence and Cohesion criteria.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 8

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "unprecedented accessibility," "revolutionized," "logistically challenging," and "mitigates." These words effectively convey complex ideas and contribute to the overall clarity of the argument. The use of phrases like "fostering a sense of connection" and "powerful tool for enhancing interpersonal communication" further showcases the writer’s ability to articulate nuanced thoughts.
- How to improve: To elevate the lexical resource even further, the writer could incorporate more varied synonyms and expressions to avoid repetition. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "communication," alternatives like "interaction," "correspondence," or "dialogue" could be employed. Additionally, integrating more idiomatic expressions or collocations could enhance the naturalness of the writing.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary with precision. For example, the phrase "facilitating communication among people across vast distances" accurately conveys the intended meaning without ambiguity. However, there are instances where the vocabulary could be more precise. The term "youth" is somewhat vague; specifying "young adults" or "teenagers" would provide clearer context. Similarly, the phrase "popular avenues" could be refined to "popular platforms" to better align with the context of social media.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on selecting vocabulary that is not only contextually appropriate but also specific. This can be achieved by considering the nuances of words and opting for those that convey the exact meaning intended. For example, instead of "individuals," using "users" or "participants" in the context of social media would clarify the subject matter.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors. Words such as "accessibility," "facilitating," and "interpersonal" are spelled correctly, reflecting a strong command of English spelling conventions. This accuracy contributes positively to the overall impression of the essay.
- How to improve: To maintain and further improve spelling accuracy, the writer should continue to proofread their work carefully. Engaging in regular spelling exercises and utilizing tools like spell check can also be beneficial. Additionally, familiarizing oneself with commonly misspelled words and practicing their spelling can help prevent errors in future writings.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of lexical resource, meriting a band score of 8. By focusing on enhancing vocabulary variety, precision, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can aim for an even higher score in future assessments.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For example, the writer effectively employs complex sentences such as "Foremost among these reasons is the unprecedented accessibility to the Internet provided by advancements in technology," which showcases the use of introductory phrases and subordinate clauses. Additionally, the use of varied sentence beginnings (e.g., "Moreover," "In conclusion,") helps to maintain the reader’s interest and enhances the flow of ideas. However, while the range is impressive, there are instances of simpler structures that could be elevated. For instance, the sentence "This mode of communication not only saves time but also mitigates travel-related expenses" could be expanded to include more complex clauses to further demonstrate grammatical range.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures further, the writer could incorporate more compound-complex sentences, which combine multiple independent and dependent clauses. For example, instead of stating, "This accessibility has revolutionized social interactions," the writer could elaborate by adding a dependent clause: "This accessibility has revolutionized social interactions, allowing individuals to maintain connections that would otherwise be lost." Additionally, varying the length and rhythm of sentences can enhance engagement and clarity.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with few errors present. The use of punctuation is generally effective, aiding in the clarity of complex ideas. For instance, commas are appropriately used to separate clauses, as seen in "This mode of communication not only saves time but also mitigates travel-related expenses." However, there are minor issues, such as the potential overuse of commas in longer sentences, which could lead to confusion. For example, the sentence "Today, individuals can utilize various devices, such as smartphones and laptops, to easily connect with friends, family, and acquaintances at the click of a button, at any time of day" could be streamlined for better readability.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on reviewing sentence structures for unnecessary punctuation. Practicing the use of punctuation in complex sentences can help in determining where commas are truly needed. Additionally, engaging in exercises that emphasize subject-verb agreement and the correct use of tenses can further solidify grammatical skills. Reading extensively can also provide insights into effective punctuation usage in various contexts.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and effectively communicates the argument, meriting a strong band score. By focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining punctuation use, the writer can aim for even greater clarity and sophistication in their writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

In contemporary society, an increasing number of individuals assert that the Internet fosters closer relationships by facilitating communication among people across vast distances. I wholeheartedly agree with this perspective for several compelling reasons.

Foremost among these reasons is the unprecedented accessibility to the Internet provided by advancements in technology. Today, individuals can utilize various devices, such as smartphones and laptops, to easily connect with friends, family, and acquaintances with a single click, at any hour of the day. This accessibility has revolutionized social interactions, enabling users to maintain relationships regardless of geographical constraints. For instance, platforms such as Facebook and Instagram have become popular avenues for young people to share their experiences, photographs, and views. These platforms allow others to engage meaningfully by commenting or reacting, thereby fostering a sense of connection and community among users.

Moreover, the Internet serves as a swift means of transmitting information and messages, significantly reducing the time and effort associated with traditional forms of communication. Rather than relying on face-to-face interactions, which can be logistically difficult for those separated by long distances, individuals now have the option to communicate instantaneously through text messages. This mode of communication not only saves time but also mitigates travel costs. For instance, in the past, parents would have to compose handwritten letters to share daily updates with their children, requiring a visit to the post office. In contrast, today’s parents can simply send a text message, making communication more convenient and efficient.

In conclusion, the aforementioned points illustrate that the Internet undeniably serves as a powerful tool for enhancing interpersonal communication. By bridging distances and providing an immediate platform for interaction, it has made it significantly easier for individuals to connect with one another. Therefore, I firmly agree that the Internet plays a pivotal role in fostering a more interconnected world.