In some countries, people buy far more food than they need. As a result, a large amount of food is thrown away. Why do you think some people buy too much food? What could be done to reduce the amount of food that people throw away?

In some countries, people buy far more food than they need. As a result, a large amount of food is thrown away.
Why do you think some people buy too much food? What could be done to reduce the amount of food that people throw away?

Nowadays, a large amount of food could buy. more and more to service their live. But some people thrown away if they buy more than they need and on sunuld be the essay, reduce this promblem. Firstly people usually buy because of their habit and consume. I will give my own view and the some reasons. Food is not enough in they wante. buys someti sometimes Arey buy a lot of food think the alaway for them and so they buy my sister food because For example, my sister buys buy she sees many thing need it however could secondly, when people they have aan see no yeand at this time. quy to the supermarket; they go to the supermarket, mary food are sale or buy always feel that it is interesting and buye a large more of them haver they not need to 'Because too much food they buy can cause Imany promblem to enviroment, so many methods are give to solution. First we before people go to to list all they need For instane, they need to market or buy something of they need to buy to be awernerss more about them consequeses can cause A of the food people throw away to our envicoments. The goverment can education , at school and ban ther people throgh TV programs, who buy larger amount of food but not use. Overall, people could buy anything that they want but they need to be buy enough for their live to protect the ecostyem,

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "Nowadays, a large amount of food could buy." -> "Currently, a significant amount of food is purchased."
   Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect and awkward. The revised version corrects the grammar and uses more formal language suitable for academic writing.

2. "more and more to service their live." -> "increasingly to support their lifestyles."
   Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect and unclear. The revised phrase clarifies the meaning and uses more precise vocabulary.

3. "thrown away if they buy more than they need and on sunuld be the essay, reduce this promblem." -> "discarded if they purchase more than they require, and this essay will address this issue."
   Explanation: The original sentence is grammatically incorrect and unclear. The revision corrects the grammar and clarifies the purpose of the essay.

4. "people usually buy because of their habit and consume." -> "individuals often purchase due to habit and consumption."
   Explanation: The original phrase is informal and vague. The revision uses more precise and formal language.

5. "Food is not enough in they wante." -> "Food is insufficient for their needs."
   Explanation: The original sentence is grammatically incorrect and unclear. The revision corrects the grammar and clarifies the meaning.

6. "buys someti sometimes Arey buy a lot of food think the alaway for them and so they buy my sister food because" -> "Some individuals occasionally purchase large quantities of food, believing it will last them forever, and thus they purchase more for their siblings."
   Explanation: The original sentence is grammatically incorrect and unclear. The revision corrects the grammar and clarifies the meaning.

7. "when people they have aan see no yeand at this time." -> "when individuals realize they have no need at this point."
   Explanation: The original sentence is grammatically incorrect and unclear. The revision corrects the grammar and clarifies the meaning.

8. "quy to the supermarket; they go to the supermarket, mary food are sale or buy always feel that it is interesting and buye a large more of them haver they not need to" -> "they visit supermarkets, where they often find attractive deals and purchase more than they need."
   Explanation: The original sentence is grammatically incorrect and unclear. The revision corrects the grammar and clarifies the meaning.

9. "Because too much food they buy can cause Imany promblem to enviroment" -> "Because excessive food purchases can cause numerous environmental problems."
   Explanation: The original sentence contains grammatical errors and misuse of words. The revision corrects these issues and uses more precise language.

10. "so many methods are give to solution." -> "therefore, numerous solutions are offered."
    Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect and awkward. The revision corrects the grammar and improves the flow of the sentence.

11. "First we before people go to to list all they need For instane, they need to market or buy something of they need to buy to be awernerss more about them consequeses can cause A of the food people throw away to our envicoments." -> "First, before individuals go shopping, they should list their needs. For instance, they should consider the consequences of buying more than they need, which can lead to excessive waste and harm the environment."
    Explanation: The original sentence is grammatically incorrect and unclear. The revision corrects the grammar and clarifies the meaning.

12. "The goverment can education, at school and ban ther people throgh TV programs, who buy larger amount of food but not use." -> "The government can educate citizens through school and television programs about the consequences of buying more food than needed, and ban those who do not use it."
    Explanation: The original sentence is grammatically incorrect and unclear. The revision corrects the grammar and clarifies the meaning.

13. "Overall, people could buy anything that they want but they need to be buy enough for their live to protect the ecostyem," -> "In summary, individuals can purchase anything they desire, but they must ensure they buy enough for their needs to protect the ecosystem."
    Explanation: The original sentence contains grammatical errors and misuse of words. The revision corrects these issues and uses more formal language.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address the two parts of the prompt: the reasons why people buy too much food and potential solutions to reduce food waste. However, the response lacks clarity and coherence. For instance, the phrase "a large amount of food could buy" is confusing and does not establish a clear connection to the reasons for over-purchasing. Additionally, while the essay mentions habits and consumption, it fails to provide specific examples or a thorough explanation of these habits. The proposed solutions are vague and lack detail, such as the suggestion to "list all they need" without elaborating on how this would effectively reduce waste.
  • How to improve: To better answer all parts of the question, the essay should clearly delineate the reasons for over-purchasing and the solutions. Each reason should be supported with specific examples, and the solutions should be actionable and detailed. For instance, discussing how creating a shopping list can prevent impulse buying and reduce waste would strengthen the response.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay struggles to maintain a clear position. The introduction is muddled, and the main ideas are not clearly articulated. Phrases like "I will give my own view" are vague and do not assert a definitive stance. The lack of a cohesive argument makes it difficult for the reader to understand the writer’s perspective on the issue.
  • How to improve: To present a clear position, the writer should state their viewpoint explicitly in the introduction and consistently refer back to it throughout the essay. Using topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can help clarify the main idea being discussed. Additionally, summarizing the main points in the conclusion can reinforce the writer’s position.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The ideas presented in the essay are underdeveloped and lack sufficient support. For example, the mention of "my sister buys" does not effectively illustrate a broader point about consumer behavior. The essay also fails to extend ideas beyond surface-level observations, which limits the depth of analysis.
  • How to improve: To enhance the presentation and support of ideas, the writer should aim to develop each point with more detail. This can be achieved by providing specific examples, statistics, or anecdotes that illustrate the reasons for over-purchasing and the effectiveness of proposed solutions. Additionally, using linking phrases can help to connect ideas and create a more cohesive argument.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay occasionally deviates from the topic, particularly with vague statements that do not directly relate to the prompt. For instance, phrases like "they have aan see no yeand" are unclear and distract from the main argument. The lack of focus makes it difficult to follow the writer’s train of thought.
  • How to improve: To stay on topic, the writer should ensure that each sentence contributes to answering the prompt. Before writing, outlining the main points and ensuring that each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the question can help maintain focus. Additionally, reviewing the essay after writing to eliminate irrelevant or unclear statements can improve coherence.

Overall, to achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on clarity, coherence, and depth of analysis, ensuring that all parts of the prompt are thoroughly addressed with specific examples and a clear argumentative structure.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 4

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 4

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas in a somewhat disorganized manner, making it difficult for the reader to follow the author’s argument. For instance, the introduction lacks clarity and coherence, as it mixes various ideas without a clear thesis statement. The points about why people buy too much food and the solutions to reduce food waste are jumbled together, leading to confusion. The flow from one idea to another is often abrupt, which disrupts the logical progression of the argument.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the author should clearly outline the main points before writing. A structured approach, such as using a clear introduction that states the thesis, followed by distinct paragraphs for each reason and solution, would greatly improve coherence. Each paragraph should begin with a topic sentence that summarizes the main idea, followed by supporting details.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay lacks effective paragraphing, which contributes to its low coherence score. There are no clear separations between different ideas; instead, the text reads as a continuous block. This makes it challenging to identify where one point ends and another begins. For example, the discussion about habits and consumption is mixed with examples and solutions without appropriate paragraph breaks.
  • How to improve: The author should use paragraphs to separate distinct ideas. Each paragraph should focus on a single aspect of the topic. For instance, one paragraph could discuss the reasons why people buy too much food, while another could address potential solutions. Clear indentation and spacing can help visually separate these ideas, making the essay easier to read.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates limited use of cohesive devices, which hinders the connection between sentences and ideas. Phrases like "for example" and "firstly" are present, but they are not used effectively to link ideas. Additionally, there are instances of grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that disrupt the flow, such as "the some reasons" and "buye a large more of them haver."
  • How to improve: To improve the use of cohesive devices, the author should incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "however," "in addition," "furthermore," and "consequently." These can help clarify relationships between ideas and enhance the overall flow of the essay. Additionally, proofreading for grammatical accuracy and clarity will help ensure that cohesive devices are used correctly and effectively.

Overall, the essay requires significant improvement in organization, paragraphing, and the use of cohesive devices to achieve a higher band score in coherence and cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 3

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 3

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, with many words being repeated or used incorrectly. For instance, phrases like "buy far more food than they need" are not expanded upon with synonyms or varied expressions. The use of "buy" is prevalent, but alternatives like "purchase" or "acquire" are absent. Additionally, terms like "problems" and "environment" are mentioned, but there is little variation in word choice to convey the ideas more vividly.
  • How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should practice using synonyms and related terms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "buy," they could incorporate "purchase," "acquire," or "obtain." Engaging with vocabulary exercises or reading diverse materials can help in discovering new words and phrases that can be utilized in writing.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that obscure meaning. For example, the phrase "a large amount of food could buy" is grammatically incorrect and confusing. Similarly, "the some reasons" lacks clarity and precision, making it difficult for the reader to understand the intended message. The phrase "they have aan see no yeand" is also unclear and seems to be a typographical error that detracts from the overall coherence of the essay.
  • How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on clarity and correctness in word choice. They should revise sentences to ensure that the vocabulary accurately conveys their intended meaning. For example, instead of saying "a large amount of food could buy," they could say "people tend to purchase an excessive amount of food." Regularly reviewing grammar and vocabulary usage rules can also help in achieving greater precision.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains numerous spelling errors, such as "on sunuld" (should be "should"), "promblem" (should be "problem"), "enviroment" (should be "environment"), and "ecostyem" (should be "ecosystem"). These errors not only affect the readability of the essay but also detract from the overall impression of the writer’s language proficiency.
  • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular spelling practice, perhaps by using flashcards or spelling apps. Additionally, proofreading the essay before submission can help catch and correct spelling mistakes. Utilizing spell-check tools in word processing software can also be beneficial, though it is important to remember that these tools may not catch every error.

In summary, to improve the Lexical Resource score, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary range, using words more precisely, and ensuring correct spelling throughout their writing. Engaging in regular practice and seeking feedback can also facilitate growth in these areas.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited variety of sentence structures. Many sentences are simple and lack complexity, which reduces the overall effectiveness of the writing. For example, phrases like "people usually buy because of their habit and consume" and "they go to the supermarket" are straightforward but do not incorporate more advanced grammatical forms such as compound or complex sentences. The use of phrases like "when people they have aan see no yeand" indicates confusion and lacks clarity, which detracts from the overall coherence of the argument.
  • How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer should practice combining sentences to form complex structures. For instance, instead of saying "people usually buy because of their habit," a more complex sentence could be "Many people tend to buy excessive amounts of food due to ingrained habits and societal pressures." Additionally, incorporating conditional sentences (e.g., "If people made lists before shopping, they would likely purchase only what they need") can add variety and depth to the writing.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains numerous grammatical errors and punctuation issues that hinder comprehension. For example, "a large amount of food could buy" is grammatically incorrect and should be rephrased to "a large amount of food is bought." There are also issues with subject-verb agreement, as seen in "some people thrown away" instead of "some people throw away." Punctuation is often misused or omitted, leading to run-on sentences and fragments, such as "First we before people go to to list all they need" which lacks clarity and proper structure.
  • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of verb tenses. Regular practice with grammar exercises, especially those focusing on common errors, can be beneficial. Additionally, proofreading the essay for punctuation errors, such as ensuring commas are used to separate clauses, can help clarify meaning. For example, revising "the goverment can education , at school and ban ther people throgh TV programs" to "the government can provide education in schools and through TV programs" would enhance clarity and correctness.

Overall, to achieve a higher band score, the writer should work on diversifying sentence structures and improving grammatical accuracy and punctuation. Engaging in targeted grammar exercises, reading more complex texts, and practicing writing with a focus on these areas will contribute to better performance in future essays.

Bài sửa mẫu

Nowadays, a large amount of food is purchased increasingly to support their lifestyles. However, some people discard food if they buy more than they need, and this essay will address this issue. Firstly, people usually buy food because of their habits and consumption. I will give my own view and some reasons. Food is insufficient for their needs. Some individuals occasionally purchase large quantities of food, believing it will last them forever, and thus they buy more for their siblings. For example, my sister buys food because she sees many things she needs; however, she could sometimes realize that she has no need at this point.

When individuals visit the supermarket, they often find attractive deals and purchase more than they need. Because excessive food purchases can cause numerous environmental problems, numerous solutions are offered. First, before people go shopping, they should list all their needs. For instance, they should be aware of the consequences of buying more than they need, which can lead to excessive waste and harm the environment. The government can educate citizens through school and television programs about the consequences of buying more food than needed and can ban those who do not use it.

In summary, individuals can purchase anything they desire, but they must ensure they buy enough for their needs to protect the ecosystem.