Do you think an online class is as good as traditional class? Why or Why not?

Do you think an online class is as good as traditional class? Why or Why not?

In my opinion, online class are not as good as traditional class for many reasons. Firstly, both classes provide knowledge to students but face-to-face classes will cause many obstacles in terms of interaction between students and teachers. Since teachers only see students through computer or phone screens, teachers cannot see their whole faces and different personalities. On the other hand, teachers will not be able to keep an eye on students and they can do their own things during class such as texting, watching movies, playing games, etc. Secondly, students cannot meet and talk to each other to discuss learning problems. Students will not be able to be friendly, help friends and have fun together. Thirdly, traditional classes will help students study better, participate in more competitions, extracurricular activities of the school,…In conclusion, the online class is not a better choice for me and I love study at school.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "online class are" -> "online classes"
    Explanation: "Class" should be pluralized to "classes" to agree with the plural context of the sentence, enhancing grammatical accuracy and formality.

  2. "not as good as traditional class" -> "less effective than traditional classes"
    Explanation: "Less effective than" is a more precise and formal way to compare the quality of online and traditional classes, avoiding the colloquial "not as good as."

  3. "face-to-face classes will cause many obstacles" -> "face-to-face interactions will present several challenges"
    Explanation: "Present several challenges" is a more formal and precise term than "cause many obstacles," which is somewhat vague and informal.

  4. "see students through computer or phone screens" -> "view students via computer or mobile devices"
    Explanation: "View via" is more formal and precise than "see through," and "mobile devices" is a more specific term than "phone screens."

  5. "teachers cannot see their whole faces and different personalities" -> "teachers are unable to observe students’ full facial expressions and individual personalities"
    Explanation: "Unable to observe" is more formal than "cannot see," and "full facial expressions and individual personalities" are more precise and academically appropriate than "whole faces and different personalities."

  6. "teachers will not be able to keep an eye on students" -> "teachers will be unable to monitor students"
    Explanation: "Monitor" is a more formal and precise term than "keep an eye on," which is colloquial.

  7. "they can do their own things" -> "they may engage in personal activities"
    Explanation: "Engage in personal activities" is more formal and specific than "do their own things," which is vague and informal.

  8. "texting, watching movies, playing games, etc." -> "texting, watching movies, and playing games"
    Explanation: Using "and" instead of "etc." provides a clearer and more formal listing of examples.

  9. "cannot meet and talk to each other" -> "are unable to interact with one another"
    Explanation: "Are unable to interact with one another" is more formal and precise than "cannot meet and talk to each other."

  10. "will not be able to be friendly" -> "will not be able to foster friendships"
    Explanation: "Foster friendships" is a more formal and precise term than "be friendly," which is too casual for academic writing.

  11. "help friends and have fun together" -> "assist peers and socialize"
    Explanation: "Assist peers and socialize" is more formal and specific than "help friends and have fun together," which is too informal.

  12. "traditional classes will help students study better" -> "traditional classes facilitate better learning"
    Explanation: "Facilitate better learning" is a more formal and academically appropriate phrase than "help students study better."

  13. "participate in more competitions, extracurricular activities of the school" -> "participate in more school competitions and extracurricular activities"
    Explanation: Adding "and" clarifies the list, and specifying "school competitions and extracurricular activities" enhances formality and precision.

  14. "the online class is not a better choice for me" -> "online classes are not the preferred option for me"
    Explanation: "Are not the preferred option" is more formal and precise than "is not a better choice," and "online classes" is plural to match the context.

  15. "I love study at school" -> "I prefer studying at school"
    Explanation: "I prefer studying at school" is grammatically correct and more formal than "I love study at school," which is grammatically incorrect and too casual.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by stating a clear opinion that online classes are not as good as traditional classes. However, it lacks a thorough exploration of both sides of the argument. The reasons provided focus primarily on the disadvantages of online classes without adequately discussing any potential benefits or acknowledging that some might find online classes advantageous. This one-sided approach limits the depth of the response.
    • How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should consider presenting a more balanced view by acknowledging some advantages of online classes, even if they ultimately argue against them. This could involve discussing aspects like flexibility or access to resources, which would provide a more comprehensive answer to the prompt.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position against online classes from the beginning. However, the clarity of this position is somewhat undermined by the lack of development in the argument. The conclusion reiterates the opinion but does not reinforce the arguments made earlier effectively, leading to a somewhat abrupt ending that does not summarize the key points well.
    • How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer should ensure that each paragraph builds on the previous one and that the conclusion succinctly summarizes the main arguments presented. This could be achieved by restating the key points made in the body of the essay and reinforcing the stance taken.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the disadvantages of online classes, such as lack of interaction and engagement. However, these ideas are not sufficiently developed or supported with examples or evidence. For instance, the mention of students being distracted during online classes could be strengthened by providing specific scenarios or studies that illustrate this point.
    • How to improve: To improve the presentation and support of ideas, the writer should aim to elaborate on each point made. This could involve providing examples from personal experience, referencing studies, or including statistics that support the claims. Additionally, using linking phrases to connect ideas more fluidly would enhance the overall coherence of the argument.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the comparison between online and traditional classes. However, there are moments where the argument could drift slightly, such as when discussing the social aspects of traditional classes without directly linking them back to the main argument about the effectiveness of learning.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every point made directly relates back to the thesis statement. This could involve explicitly linking the social benefits of traditional classes to their impact on learning outcomes, thereby reinforcing the main argument throughout the essay.

In summary, while the essay presents a clear opinion, it falls short in depth and development. By addressing the suggestions provided, the writer can improve the overall quality of the response and potentially achieve a higher band score in the Task Response criteria.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument against online classes, structured around several key points. The introduction effectively states the writer’s opinion, and the subsequent paragraphs each tackle a specific reason for this stance. However, the transition between ideas could be smoother. For example, the shift from discussing interaction issues to the lack of social engagement among students feels abrupt. The points are relevant, but the overall flow could benefit from clearer connections between them.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases that guide the reader through the argument. For instance, after discussing the interaction issues, a phrase like "In addition to this," could lead into the next point about social engagement. Also, outlining the main points before writing the essay can help ensure that each paragraph builds on the previous one.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs, which is a positive aspect. However, the paragraphs could be more effectively structured. The first paragraph introduces the topic and opinion, while the subsequent paragraphs contain multiple ideas that could be better separated. For example, the second paragraph mixes the lack of teacher oversight with the inability of students to interact, which could confuse readers.
    • How to improve: Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea. Consider breaking the second paragraph into two: one focusing on teacher oversight and the other on student interaction. This would clarify the argument and allow for more in-depth discussion of each point. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that summarizes its main idea.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "Secondly," and "On the other hand," which help to structure the argument. However, the range of cohesive devices is limited, and some phrases are used repetitively. For instance, "students cannot" is repeated in close succession, which can detract from the overall fluency of the essay.
    • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For example, instead of repeating "students cannot," consider using synonyms or rephrasing, such as "students are unable to" or "there is a lack of opportunity for students to." Additionally, using devices like "Furthermore," "Moreover," or "Conversely" can enhance the flow and connection between ideas. Practicing the use of different cohesive devices in writing exercises can also help improve this aspect.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument. By focusing on improving the logical flow, refining paragraph structure, and expanding the range of cohesive devices, the writer can elevate their score in coherence and cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, but it tends to rely on basic terms and phrases. For example, the repeated use of "class" and "students" indicates a limited variety in word choice. Phrases like "face-to-face classes" and "extracurricular activities" show some attempt at variety, but overall, the vocabulary used is quite basic and lacks sophistication.
    • How to improve: To enhance lexical resource, the writer should aim to incorporate more varied vocabulary. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "class," alternatives like "course," "instructional setting," or "learning environment" could be employed. Additionally, using synonyms for "students," such as "learners," "pupils," or "scholars," would enrich the text. Engaging with a thesaurus and practicing the use of synonyms in context can help diversify vocabulary.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage, such as "online class are not as good as traditional class," where the subject-verb agreement is incorrect. The phrase "teachers cannot see their whole faces and different personalities" is vague and could be interpreted in various ways, making it unclear what the writer intends to convey.
    • How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on clarity and correctness in their word choices. For example, instead of saying "teachers cannot see their whole faces," it would be clearer to say "teachers cannot observe students’ non-verbal cues." Additionally, ensuring subject-verb agreement is crucial; the correct form is "online classes are not as good as traditional classes." Proofreading for grammatical accuracy can significantly enhance the precision of vocabulary.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "class" (should be "classes") and "study" (should be "studying"). These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and can confuse the reader.
    • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should practice writing and then proofreading their work. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help catch mistakes. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words and reviewing it regularly can aid in improving spelling skills.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates some understanding of the topic and attempts to use varied vocabulary, there are significant areas for improvement in range, precision, and spelling. By focusing on expanding vocabulary, ensuring precise word usage, and enhancing spelling accuracy, the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a basic range of sentence structures, primarily using simple and compound sentences. For instance, the phrases "In my opinion, online class are not as good as traditional class" and "students cannot meet and talk to each other" reflect straightforward constructions. However, the essay lacks complex sentences that could enhance the argument’s depth and sophistication. The use of phrases like "Firstly," "Secondly," and "Thirdly," indicates an attempt to organize ideas, but the overall structure remains quite basic.
    • How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences that combine independent and dependent clauses. For example, instead of saying "students cannot meet and talk to each other," the writer could say, "Although students can communicate online, they miss the opportunity to meet face-to-face, which fosters stronger relationships." Additionally, varying the sentence beginnings and using different conjunctions can enhance the flow and engagement of the writing.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues in "online class are not as good" (should be "online classes are not as good") and incorrect pluralization in "traditional class" (should be "traditional classes"). Punctuation is also inconsistent; for example, the ellipsis at the end of the list in "extracurricular activities of the school,…" is unnecessary and incorrectly used. The overall grammatical accuracy is hindered by these errors, which can distract the reader and weaken the argument.
    • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and pluralization rules. Practicing with exercises that emphasize these areas can be beneficial. Additionally, reviewing punctuation rules, especially concerning lists and the use of commas, will help clarify the writing. For example, instead of using an ellipsis, the writer could simply conclude the list with a period. Furthermore, proofreading the essay for common grammatical mistakes before submission can help catch errors that may otherwise go unnoticed.

Bài sửa mẫu

In my opinion, online classes are not as good as traditional classes for many reasons. Firstly, both types of classes provide knowledge to students, but face-to-face classes present several challenges in terms of interaction between students and teachers. Since teachers only see students via computer or phone screens, they are unable to observe students’ full facial expressions and individual personalities. On the other hand, teachers will be unable to monitor students, and they may engage in personal activities during class, such as texting, watching movies, and playing games.

Secondly, students cannot meet and talk to each other to discuss learning problems. They are unable to interact with one another, which means they will not be able to foster friendships, assist peers, and socialize. Thirdly, traditional classes facilitate better learning, allowing students to participate in more school competitions and extracurricular activities.

In conclusion, online classes are not the preferred option for me, and I prefer studying at school.

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