The chart below shows the annual rice production in 4 countries in 1995, 2005, 2015.

The bar chart provides information regarding how much rice was produced on a yearly basis in four countries in three different years, 1995, 2005 and 2015.

From an overarching viewpoint, it is discernible that A was the largest rice-producing country in all three years, while the opposite was true for the case of country D. In addition, the amount of rice generated in country A, B and D experienced an increase, albeit at different levels, whereas the figures for country C remained essentially unchanged through the given timeframe.

Country A led in annual rice production. Commencing at 45 million tonnes, the amount of rice produced in this country witnessed a gradual growth to 50 million tonnes in 2015. A similar upward trend could be observed in the figures for country B, but to a greater extent, with its starting level being at just over 25 million tonnes, reaching its peak at around 43 million tonnes in 2010. Despite a considerable decrease to about 36 million tonnes, the quantity of rice in this country was the second-largest.

Regarding the countries with lowest annual rice output, the amount of rice generated yearly in country C began at just 5 million tonnes, which was significantly lower than the figures for country A and country B. Although there was a slight increase to approximately 7 million tonnes in 2010, the quantity of rice output culminated at its beginning level in the last year. Country D produced around only 2 million tonnes in 2005 and 2010, which was half of rice output in 2015.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"From an overarching viewpoint" -> "From a general perspective"
Explanation: "From a general perspective" is a more commonly used and academically appropriate phrase in formal writing, enhancing clarity and precision over "From an overarching viewpoint."
"the opposite was true for the case of country D" -> "the opposite was true for country D"
Explanation: Simplifying the phrase removes unnecessary words, making the sentence more direct and concise, which is preferred in academic writing.
"the amount of rice generated in country A, B and D" -> "the rice production in countries A, B, and D"
Explanation: "Rice production" is a more specific and formal term than "the amount of rice generated," and using "countries" instead of "country" correctly reflects the plural form.
"experienced an increase, albeit at different levels" -> "experienced varying levels of increase"
Explanation: "Varying levels of increase" is a more precise and formal way to describe the differing degrees of growth, avoiding the colloquialism "albeit."
"the figures for country C remained essentially unchanged" -> "the figures for country C remained relatively unchanged"
Explanation: "Relatively unchanged" is a more precise and academically appropriate term than "essentially unchanged," which can be seen as vague and informal.
"Commencing at 45 million tonnes" -> "Starting at 45 million tonnes"
Explanation: "Starting at" is a more direct and formal expression than "commencing at," which is less commonly used in formal academic writing.
"witnessed a gradual growth" -> "experienced gradual growth"
Explanation: "Experienced" is more commonly used in academic contexts to describe changes over time, making it a more suitable choice than "witnessed."
"to a greater extent" -> "more significantly"
Explanation: "More significantly" is a more precise and formal way to describe the degree of change, fitting better in an academic context.
"the second-largest" -> "the second-highest"
Explanation: "The second-highest" is more accurate when referring to quantities, aligning better with the context of comparing numerical values.
"the countries with lowest annual rice output" -> "the countries with the lowest annual rice production"
Explanation: "Production" is the correct term for the process of making or growing rice, and using "the" before "lowest" is grammatically correct.
"the quantity of rice output culminated at its beginning level" -> "the rice output returned to its initial level"
Explanation: "Returned to its initial level" is clearer and more precise than "culminated at its beginning level," which is awkward and unclear.
"Country D produced around only 2 million tonnes" -> "Country D produced approximately 2 million tonnes"
Explanation: "Approximately" is a more formal and precise adverb than "around," and removing "only" avoids redundancy and maintains a formal tone.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay addresses the requirements of the task and presents an overview with information appropriately selected. The essay presents and adequately highlights key features/bullet points, but some details are irrelevant, inappropriate, or inaccurate. For example, the essay states that the amount of rice generated in country B reached its peak at around 43 million tonnes in 2010, but the chart shows that the peak was in 2015. The essay also states that the quantity of rice in country B was the second-largest, but the chart shows that the quantity of rice in country B was the second-largest in 2015, but not in 2005 or 2010.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by focusing on the most important information and by avoiding irrelevant or inaccurate details. The essay could also be improved by using more precise language to describe the trends in the chart. For example, instead of saying that the amount of rice produced in country A witnessed a gradual growth, the essay could say that the amount of rice produced in country A increased steadily.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a coherent arrangement of information and ideas, with a clear overall progression. The introduction effectively sets the context, and the body paragraphs present information about each country’s rice production in a logical sequence. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical, and there are instances where clarity could be improved. For example, the transitions between ideas could be smoother, and referencing could be clearer, particularly when discussing changes in production levels. The paragraphing is present but could be more effectively structured to enhance the flow of information.
How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the essay could benefit from a more varied use of cohesive devices to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that ideas are linked more fluidly would improve coherence. Clarifying references to data and ensuring that transitions between points are seamless would also contribute to a stronger overall structure.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary relevant to the task, with some attempts to use less common lexical items. However, there are instances of inaccuracy in word choice and collocation, such as "the opposite was true for the case of country D," which could be phrased more naturally. There are also minor errors in spelling and word formation, such as "culminated at its beginning level," which could confuse the reader. Overall, while the communication is clear, the vocabulary lacks the precision and sophistication required for a higher band score.
How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should focus on using a wider variety of vocabulary with greater precision and accuracy. This includes practicing the use of less common lexical items and ensuring correct collocations. Additionally, reducing errors in spelling and word formation will help improve clarity. Reading more academic texts and practicing paraphrasing can also aid in developing a more sophisticated vocabulary.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, with some grammatical errors and punctuation issues present. While the majority of the communication is clear, there are instances where errors may cause slight confusion for the reader. For example, phrases like "the quantity of rice in this country was the second-largest" could be clearer with more precise wording. Overall, the essay shows an adequate range of grammatical structures, but the errors detract from overall accuracy and fluency.
How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on reducing grammatical errors and improving punctuation. This can be achieved by proofreading the essay for common mistakes and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed correctly. Additionally, incorporating a wider variety of sentence structures and ensuring that each sentence is clear and precise will help elevate the score. Practicing with more complex grammatical forms and seeking feedback on their usage can also be beneficial.

Bài sửa mẫu

The bar chart provides information regarding the annual rice production in four countries over three different years: 1995, 2005, and 2015.

From an overarching viewpoint, it is evident that country A was the largest rice-producing country in all three years, while the opposite was true for country D. In addition, the amount of rice produced in countries A, B, and D experienced an increase, albeit at different levels, whereas the figures for country C remained essentially unchanged throughout the given timeframe.

Country A led in annual rice production, commencing at 45 million tonnes and witnessing gradual growth to 50 million tonnes in 2015. A similar upward trend can be observed in the figures for country B, but to a greater extent, with its starting level at just over 25 million tonnes, reaching its peak at around 43 million tonnes in 2015. Despite a considerable decrease to about 36 million tonnes, the quantity of rice produced in this country was the second-largest.

Regarding the countries with the lowest annual rice output, the amount of rice produced yearly in country C began at just 5 million tonnes, which was significantly lower than the figures for countries A and B. Although there was a slight increase to approximately 7 million tonnes in 2015, the quantity of rice output returned to its initial level in the last year. Country D produced only around 2 million tonnes in both 2005 and 2010, which was half of its rice output in 2015.