Some people think it is more important to spend public money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railways and trams.

In the contemporary world , the growing concerns between citizens about transport and traffic is becoming a renowned topic of debate. It is more vital to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems . I totally disagree with this notion and believe that the perks of involving in public transport could outweigh the private roads and motorways , and the subsequent paragraphs will elucidate the information regarding it.

First and foremost , it is irrefutable that the benefit of sponsoring roads and motorways could benefit several people who frequently move by themselves and it is convenient. However , the enhancement in public transport could save the environment become cleaner because of the mitigation in vehicles and transports. The key rationale is that the fuels cause the air pollution while vehicles sustain exhausting gasoline as an energy in cars and motorbikes at the expense of shifting , leading to a polluted environment due to the overuse of private traffics , as long as reduce this kind of vehicles , the poison substances could be reduced. For instance , in USA , the government has spent numerous financial on their Railways and trails systems , which is extremely friendly with environment , making people use less private vehicles and the road is quite clean and clear.
On top of that , the investment in transport services could curb traffic accidents and collisions as the downside of vehicles whereas people engage in a professional system for moving if the government spends money to develop it. Traffic jams are an extremely annoying phenomenon while more and more individuals using their privileged vehicles could be cut down in public either due to the development of better transport services and make people feel more comfortable and safe. A bright example is the priority of people in taking part in public transport these days , gaining the safety and high quality for movers because of the innovative trains and buses are becoming more and more advanced and morderned.

In conclusion , the benefit of the public transport system are becoming well-known among dwellers , diminishing the detrimental impact to environment and users , which is a positive advancement need to be more concern about due to the above-mentioned arguments.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"In the contemporary world" -> "In the modern world"
Explanation: "Contemporary" is often used to describe things that are current or up-to-date, but in this context, "modern" is more appropriate to describe the current era, enhancing the formal tone of the essay.
"the growing concerns between citizens about transport and traffic" -> "the increasing concerns among citizens regarding transportation and traffic"
Explanation: "Increasing concerns" is more precise and formal than "growing concerns," and "among citizens regarding" is more specific and academically appropriate than "between citizens about." Additionally, "transportation" is a more formal term than "transport" in this context.
"It is more vital to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems" -> "It is more imperative to allocate funds to roads and motorways than to public transportation systems"
Explanation: "Imperative" is more formal than "vital," and "allocate funds" is a more precise and formal expression than "spend money." Also, "public transportation systems" is a more formal term than "public transport systems."
"I totally disagree" -> "I strongly disagree"
Explanation: "Strongly disagree" is a more formal expression than "totally disagree," which is somewhat colloquial and informal for academic writing.
"the perks of involving in public transport" -> "the advantages of using public transportation"
Explanation: "Advantages" is a more formal term than "perks," and "using public transportation" is grammatically correct compared to "involving in public transport."
"the enhancement in public transport could save the environment become cleaner" -> "the improvement in public transportation could lead to a cleaner environment"
Explanation: "Improvement" is more precise than "enhancement," and "lead to a cleaner environment" is grammatically correct and clearer than "save the environment become cleaner," which is awkward and incorrect.
"the fuels cause the air pollution" -> "the emissions from vehicles cause air pollution"
Explanation: "Emissions from vehicles" is a more specific and scientifically accurate term than "the fuels," which is vague and imprecise in this context.
"at the expense of shifting" -> "at the expense of shifting gears"
Explanation: "Shifting gears" is a more specific and accurate term than "shifting," which is too vague and informal for academic writing.
"the poison substances could be reduced" -> "the pollutants could be reduced"
Explanation: "Pollutants" is a scientifically accurate term, whereas "poison substances" is overly dramatic and informal for academic writing.
"the government has spent numerous financial on their Railways and trails systems" -> "the government has invested significantly in their rail and trail systems"
Explanation: "Invested significantly" is more precise and formal than "spent numerous financial," which is grammatically incorrect and awkward. "Rail and trail systems" is also more grammatically correct than "Railways and trails systems."
"extremely annoying phenomenon" -> "significant problem"
Explanation: "Significant problem" is a more formal and precise term than "extremely annoying phenomenon," which is overly emotional and informal.
"more and more individuals using their privileged vehicles" -> "increasing numbers of individuals using their private vehicles"
Explanation: "Increasing numbers of individuals" is more formal and precise than "more and more individuals," and "private vehicles" is more specific than "privileged vehicles," which is unclear and informal.
"morderned" -> "modernized"
Explanation: "Modernized" is the correct spelling and usage in this context, whereas "morderned" is a typographical error.
"the benefit of the public transport system are becoming well-known" -> "the benefits of the public transportation system are becoming well-known"
Explanation: "Benefits" should be plural to match the plural subject "system," and "transportation" is the correct form for formal writing.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by clearly stating a position against the notion that spending public money on roads and motorways is more important than investing in public transport systems. The author presents arguments supporting the benefits of public transport, such as environmental advantages and reduced traffic accidents. However, the essay could have included a more explicit comparison between the two options to fully address the prompt’s implications.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should explicitly discuss the merits of both roads/motorways and public transport systems. A balanced analysis that acknowledges the potential benefits of road investment before refuting them would provide a more comprehensive answer to the prompt.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position against prioritizing roads and motorways, asserting that public transport is more beneficial. This stance is consistent throughout the essay, with supporting arguments presented logically. However, the introduction could have been clearer in stating the position by avoiding vague phrases like "this notion" without a direct reference to the opposing view.
- How to improve: Strengthening the introduction by explicitly stating the position in a more straightforward manner would enhance clarity. Additionally, using transitional phrases to reinforce the stance throughout the essay can help maintain focus on the argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as environmental benefits and safety improvements associated with public transport. These ideas are supported with examples, such as the mention of the USA’s investment in railways. However, some arguments lack depth and could benefit from further elaboration. For instance, the environmental argument could include specific statistics or studies to enhance credibility.
- How to improve: To strengthen the support for ideas, the writer should include more detailed examples and data. Expanding on each point with additional evidence or case studies would provide a more robust argument and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the benefits of public transport over roads and motorways. However, there are moments where the discussion becomes slightly convoluted, particularly in the second paragraph, where the argument about air pollution could be more directly tied to the advantages of public transport.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each point made directly supports the central argument. Clear topic sentences for each paragraph that directly relate back to the prompt can help keep the discussion on track. Additionally, avoiding overly complex sentence structures can enhance clarity and coherence.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic and presents a well-argued position. By addressing the suggestions for improvement, the writer can enhance the clarity, depth, and overall effectiveness of their response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear stance against prioritizing roads and motorways over public transport systems. The introduction effectively outlines the writer’s disagreement and sets the stage for the arguments that follow. However, the logical progression of ideas could be improved. For instance, while the first paragraph introduces the environmental benefits of public transport, the transition to discussing traffic accidents feels abrupt. The ideas are somewhat related, but a clearer connection between them would enhance the logical flow.
- How to improve: To improve logical organization, consider using clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that directly relate to the thesis statement. Additionally, transitional phrases such as "Furthermore" or "In addition" can help guide the reader through the argument, making the connections between points more explicit.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is a strength. However, the paragraphs could be more effectively structured. The first paragraph is somewhat lengthy and covers multiple points, making it harder for the reader to follow. The second paragraph also introduces several ideas without clear separation, which can lead to confusion.
- How to improve: Aim for clearer paragraph structure by ensuring each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Start each paragraph with a strong topic sentence that encapsulates the main point. For example, the first paragraph could be divided into two: one focusing on environmental benefits and the other on traffic safety. This would allow for a more in-depth exploration of each point and improve overall readability.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "first and foremost," "on top of that," and "for instance," which help to connect ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited and could be more varied. For example, phrases like "as a result" or "consequently" could be used to better illustrate cause-and-effect relationships.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. This could include contrasting devices (e.g., "however," "on the other hand") to highlight opposing viewpoints, as well as additional examples of cause-and-effect relationships. Practicing the use of these devices in different contexts can help improve fluency and coherence in writing.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument, enhancing the logical flow, paragraph structure, and variety of cohesive devices will contribute to a stronger performance in the Coherence and Cohesion criteria.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "contemporary," "irrefutable," "mitigation," and "detrimental." However, the vocabulary used is often repetitive and lacks variation. For instance, the phrase "public transport" appears multiple times without synonyms or paraphrasing, which could enhance the essay’s lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related terms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "public transport," they could use "public transit," "mass transportation," or "commuter services." Additionally, varying sentence structures and incorporating more advanced vocabulary could elevate the essay’s overall quality.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While some vocabulary choices are appropriate, there are instances of imprecise usage that detract from clarity. For example, the phrase "the fuels cause the air pollution while vehicles sustain exhausting gasoline" could be confusing. The term "sustain" is not the best choice here; "consume" or "use" would be more accurate. Additionally, "poison substances" is awkward and could be replaced with "harmful emissions" or "toxic substances."
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on selecting words that accurately convey their intended meaning. This can be achieved by reviewing vocabulary in context and considering whether the chosen words fit logically within the sentence. Practicing with vocabulary exercises that emphasize context and connotation can also help.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "morderned" (should be "modernized"), "privileged" (used incorrectly in context), and "dwellers" (which is correct but could be better replaced with "residents" or "citizens" for clarity). These errors can disrupt the reader’s understanding and detract from the overall professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular proofreading practices, such as reading the essay aloud or using spell-check tools. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of frequently misspelled words and practicing them can be beneficial. Furthermore, studying common spelling rules and exceptions in English can help solidify spelling skills.

By addressing these areas—expanding vocabulary range, improving precision in word choice, and enhancing spelling accuracy—the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criteria.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the use of phrases like "First and foremost" and "On top of that" indicates an attempt to organize thoughts clearly. However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and repetitive structures, such as "the benefit of sponsoring roads and motorways could benefit several people," which reduces the overall effectiveness. Additionally, the sentence "the poison substances could be reduced" lacks clarity and could be better expressed.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should practice incorporating more complex sentences and varying the sentence openings. For instance, instead of starting multiple sentences with "the benefit of," the writer could use participial phrases or subordinate clauses to create more engaging and varied sentence beginnings. Furthermore, using synonyms or rephrasing ideas can help avoid repetition and improve clarity.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its clarity. For example, "the growing concerns between citizens about transport and traffic is becoming a renowned topic of debate" should use "are" instead of "is" to agree with the plural subject "concerns." Additionally, there are misplaced commas, such as in "In the contemporary world , the growing concerns," where the space before the comma is incorrect. The phrase "the fuels cause the air pollution" is awkward; it would be clearer as "fuels cause air pollution."
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Regular practice with grammar exercises, particularly those focusing on common errors, would be beneficial. For punctuation, the writer should review the rules regarding comma placement, especially in complex sentences. Reading the essay aloud can also help identify awkward phrasing and punctuation errors, allowing for corrections before final submission.

In summary, while the essay presents a clear argument and attempts to use a range of structures, it suffers from grammatical inaccuracies and repetitive phrasing. By focusing on diversifying sentence structures and improving grammatical and punctuation accuracy, the writer can enhance the overall quality of their writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

In the contemporary world, the growing concerns among citizens regarding transport and traffic are becoming a renowned topic of debate. It is more imperative to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems. I strongly disagree with this notion and believe that the perks of using public transport could outweigh those of private roads and motorways, and the subsequent paragraphs will elucidate this information.

First and foremost, it is irrefutable that the benefit of sponsoring roads and motorways could help several people who frequently travel by themselves, as it is convenient. However, the improvement in public transportation could lead to a cleaner environment because of the reduction in vehicles and traffic. The key rationale is that fuels cause air pollution while vehicles emit exhaust gases as energy in cars and motorbikes, leading to a polluted environment due to the overuse of private vehicles. As long as we reduce this kind of traffic, the pollutants could be diminished. For instance, in the USA, the government has invested significantly in their rail and trail systems, which are extremely friendly to the environment, encouraging people to use fewer private vehicles and keeping the roads quite clean and clear.

On top of that, the investment in transport services could curb traffic accidents and collisions, which are a downside of vehicle use. If the government spends money to develop public transport, people will engage in a more professional system for moving. Traffic jams are an extremely annoying phenomenon, and as more and more individuals use their private vehicles, this issue could be alleviated through the development of better transport services, making people feel more comfortable and safe. A bright example is the increasing priority of people in taking part in public transport these days, gaining safety and high quality for commuters because the innovative trains and buses are becoming more and more advanced and modernized.

In conclusion, the benefits of the public transport system are becoming well-known among citizens, diminishing the detrimental impact on the environment and users. This is a positive advancement that needs to be given more concern, as highlighted by the above-mentioned arguments.