Some believe that we should invent a new language for international communication. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

It is a common belief that it is highly advisable for people to invent other foreign languages for global communication. While acknowledging the merits of this trend, from my perspective new language should not be generated because their crucial role have several drawbacks which clearly surpass its benefits.
It is understandable why someone extols the idea that inventing new language would be a great means of communication for global. In fact, this based on the assumption that this main trend would remove language barriers among nations , this means when a laguage have been used in all countries would give more opportunities for people to interact in straightforward way. It is undenidal that not only has it helped individuals to broad their horizon about new area, but they also have acquired well-rounded knowledge. In addition, no sooner had such trend spreaded in a wide range than it would foster economic which allows nations to incorporate international easily to own intensive knowledge about culture as well as foreign policies. However, this thinking is flawed because using other language apart from mother tongue and English have huge impacted on people’s conscious as well as welfare of nations.
To reinforce my point of view, I believe the proliferation of a language trend leading to several detrimental impacts on countries .First and foremost, too relying on other languages would make we to be sedentary which easily fade about the culture diversity. In particular, this means that mother tongue would lose its valuable during the period of time ; thus, if an international laguage were to form, it would be sooner or later that the existence of separating language in several parts of the world. Take English, as an example, one of the most common language has been used for convey information for conversation and commercial purposes ;nevertheless, whenever it instill in a nation , it has become the second language of that country, resulting in the disappearance of signature language along with culture. More importantly, people unable to spend a lot of time on studying language because each person have different abilities in learning languages such as pronounciation or reading which they have to equip for themselves when they have gotten down to acquiring communal language. As a consequences, it is clear that generating new language would demolish the unique of original language in a nation. Therefore, I suppose that inventing a new language has not essential in the current scenario.
In conclusion, although it is apparent that new language catering for international communication should be invented as soon as possible, I steadily believe that the disadvantages of this trend obviously exceed its beneficial.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"It is a common belief" -> "It is widely believed"
Explanation: "It is widely believed" is a more formal and precise expression, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.
"highly advisable" -> "strongly recommended"
Explanation: "Strongly recommended" is a more formal and precise term that is commonly used in academic writing to express a recommendation.
"new language should not be generated" -> "the creation of a new language should not be pursued"
Explanation: "The creation of a new language" is a more precise and formal way to express the idea, and "pursued" is more appropriate than "generated" in this context.
"their crucial role have" -> "their crucial roles have"
Explanation: Corrects the grammatical error and pluralizes "role" to match the plural subject "their roles".
"extols the idea" -> "advocates for the idea"
Explanation: "Advocates for the idea" is a more formal and academically appropriate phrase than "extols the idea," which can sound overly dramatic.
"based on the assumption" -> "based on the assumption that"
Explanation: Adds the necessary conjunction "that" to complete the sentence structure.
"remove language barriers among nations" -> "eliminate linguistic barriers between nations"
Explanation: "Eliminate linguistic barriers between nations" is more precise and formal, enhancing the academic tone.
"undenidal" -> "undeniable"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling error to "undeniable," which is the correct form of the word.
"broad their horizon" -> "broaden their horizons"
Explanation: "Broaden their horizons" is the correct idiomatic expression, and "broad" should be "broaden" to agree with the verb tense.
"have huge impacted" -> "has had a significant impact"
Explanation: "Has had a significant impact" corrects the verb tense and uses a more formal phraseology.
"make we to be sedentary" -> "render us sedentary"
Explanation: "Render us sedentary" corrects the awkward and incorrect construction "make we to be sedentary," improving the grammatical structure and formality.
"easily fade about the culture diversity" -> "easily fade away cultural diversity"
Explanation: Corrects the grammatical structure and removes the unnecessary "about" to improve clarity and formality.
"lose its valuable during the period of time" -> "lose its value over time"
Explanation: "Lose its value over time" is a more concise and formal way to express the idea, avoiding the awkward phrasing of "during the period of time."
"instill in a nation" -> "introduce to a nation"
Explanation: "Introduce to a nation" is more accurate and formal than "instill in a nation," which is incorrect in this context.
"people unable to spend a lot of time" -> "people are unable to devote considerable time"
Explanation: "Are unable to devote considerable time" is more formal and precise, improving the academic tone of the sentence.
"have gotten down to acquiring" -> "have begun to acquire"
Explanation: "Have begun to acquire" is a more natural and formal way to express the start of a process, replacing the colloquial "gotten down to."
"demolish the unique of original language" -> "undermine the uniqueness of the original language"
Explanation: "Undermine the uniqueness of the original language" corrects the awkward and incorrect "demolish the unique of," providing a more precise and formal expression.
"has not essential" -> "is not essential"
Explanation: Corrects the grammatical error to "is not essential," aligning with the subject-verb agreement rules in English.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of inventing a new language for international communication. The writer acknowledges the potential benefits, such as improved communication and economic opportunities, but ultimately argues that the disadvantages outweigh these benefits. However, the exploration of advantages is somewhat superficial, lacking depth and specific examples. The disadvantages are more thoroughly examined, but the essay could benefit from a more balanced discussion.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should provide more detailed examples and explanations of the advantages of a new language. This could include specific scenarios or studies that illustrate how a common language could facilitate international collaboration or cultural exchange. Additionally, a clearer structure that separates the advantages and disadvantages could help clarify the argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The position of the essay is clear: the author believes that the disadvantages of a new language outweigh the advantages. This stance is consistently maintained throughout the essay. However, the introduction could be more precise in stating the position, as it currently presents a somewhat ambiguous view by mentioning "merits" without clearly defining them.
- How to improve: Strengthening the thesis statement in the introduction to explicitly state the position would help. Additionally, using transitional phrases to reinforce the argument throughout the essay can enhance clarity and coherence.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, particularly regarding the disadvantages of a new language, such as the potential loss of cultural diversity and the challenges of language learning. However, some points are not fully developed. For instance, the mention of English as a second language could be expanded with examples of specific cultures that have been affected.
- How to improve: To improve the development of ideas, the writer should elaborate on key points with concrete examples and evidence. This could involve discussing specific countries or cultures that have experienced language loss or providing statistics on language learning difficulties. Additionally, integrating counterarguments and addressing them could strengthen the overall argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the implications of inventing a new language for international communication. However, there are moments where the writing strays slightly, such as when discussing the "huge impacts on people’s conscious" without clearly linking it back to the main argument about language invention.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every point made directly relates back to the central argument. This can be achieved by consistently linking back to the main thesis after presenting each idea and ensuring that all examples and explanations reinforce the overall argument.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument, it would benefit from more balanced exploration of both sides, clearer thesis articulation, and deeper development of ideas with specific examples.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument against the invention of a new language for international communication. The introduction sets the stage by acknowledging the merits of the idea while clearly stating the author’s stance. The body paragraphs generally follow a logical structure, with the first paragraph discussing the perceived benefits and the second paragraph outlining the drawbacks. However, the transitions between ideas could be smoother, and some points are not fully developed, which slightly disrupts the overall flow. For example, the transition from discussing the benefits of a new language to the drawbacks could be more explicit to guide the reader.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the writer could use clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to outline the main idea. Additionally, employing transitional phrases such as "On the other hand," or "Conversely," would help clarify the shift from advantages to disadvantages, thereby improving the flow of ideas.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas, which is essential for coherence. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument, with the first discussing the advantages and the second addressing the disadvantages. However, some paragraphs could benefit from further subdivision to enhance clarity. For instance, the second paragraph is quite dense and covers multiple points that could be more digestible if broken into smaller paragraphs.
- How to improve: The writer should consider breaking down complex paragraphs into smaller ones, each focusing on a single point or closely related ideas. This would make the essay easier to read and understand. For example, the discussion about the impact of a new language on cultural diversity could be a separate paragraph from the discussion about the challenges of learning new languages.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "however," "in addition," and "more importantly," which help to connect ideas. However, there are instances where the cohesion could be improved. For example, the phrase "this means" is repeated, which can make the writing feel repetitive and less engaging. Additionally, some sentences lack clear connections to the preceding sentences, which can lead to confusion.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, the writer should aim to use a wider range of linking words and phrases. Instead of repeating "this means," alternatives like "this implies," or "this suggests" could be employed. Furthermore, ensuring that each sentence logically follows from the previous one by using phrases like "as a result," or "consequently," would strengthen the overall coherence of the essay.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a clear argument, improvements in logical organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices could elevate the coherence and cohesion to a higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "global communication," "language barriers," "cultural diversity," and "detrimental impacts." However, the use of vocabulary is somewhat limited in variety and precision. For instance, phrases like "new language" and "other languages" are repeated without variation, which detracts from the overall lexical richness. Additionally, some phrases, such as "this means when a laguage have been used," lack clarity and sophistication.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, the writer should incorporate synonyms and more complex expressions. For example, instead of repeatedly using "new language," alternatives like "constructed language" or "artificial language" could be employed. Furthermore, varying sentence structures and using idiomatic expressions could enrich the language.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that hinder clarity. For example, the phrase "too relying on other languages would make we to be sedentary" is awkward and unclear. The term "sedentary" typically refers to a lack of physical activity, which does not accurately convey the intended meaning of cultural stagnation or loss. Additionally, "the unique of original language" is grammatically incorrect and should be "the uniqueness of the original language."
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on selecting words that accurately convey their intended meaning. Using a thesaurus can help find more appropriate synonyms. Additionally, reviewing grammatical structures and ensuring that phrases are coherent and contextually appropriate will enhance clarity.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "laguage" (language), "undenidal" (undeniable), "spreaded" (spread), and "consequences" (as "a consequences"). These errors can distract the reader and undermine the writer’s credibility. Moreover, incorrect spelling can lead to misunderstandings of the intended message.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular proofreading and utilize spell-check tools. Additionally, practicing spelling through writing exercises and vocabulary drills can reinforce correct spelling habits. Reading extensively can also help familiarize the writer with correct word forms and spellings.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of vocabulary suitable for the topic, improvements in range, precision, and spelling are necessary to achieve a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion. Focusing on these areas will not only enhance the quality of the writing but also improve overall clarity and coherence.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, such as complex sentences ("While acknowledging the merits of this trend, from my perspective new language should not be generated…") and conditional clauses ("if an international language were to form…"). However, the overall range is limited, and many sentences are either overly simplistic or contain errors that detract from clarity. For instance, phrases like "this based on the assumption that this main trend would remove language barriers" lack proper grammatical structure and coherence. Additionally, the use of phrases like "too relying on other languages would make we to be sedentary" indicates awkward construction and misuse of grammatical forms.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer should practice incorporating more varied sentence types, such as compound-complex sentences, and ensure that each sentence is grammatically correct. Engaging with grammar exercises focused on complex structures and reviewing examples of well-structured sentences in academic writing could be beneficial. Additionally, using transitional phrases to connect ideas more fluidly can improve the overall flow of the essay.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains numerous grammatical errors that hinder understanding. For example, "their crucial role have several drawbacks" should be "its crucial role has several drawbacks," indicating subject-verb agreement issues. Punctuation errors are also present, such as the lack of commas in compound sentences ("Take English, as an example, one of the most common language has been used for convey information for conversation and commercial purposes ;nevertheless…"), which affects readability. Additionally, spelling errors like "laguage" and "undenidal" further detract from the essay’s professionalism.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on reviewing basic grammar rules, particularly subject-verb agreement and proper use of articles. Regular practice with grammar exercises, along with proofreading for common errors, will help. For punctuation, understanding the rules for using commas, semicolons, and periods correctly will enhance clarity. Reading more academic essays can also provide insight into proper punctuation and grammatical structures, which can be emulated in the writer’s own work.

In summary, while the essay presents a clear argument, the grammatical range and accuracy need significant improvement. By focusing on diversifying sentence structures and enhancing grammatical and punctuation accuracy, the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in future essays.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is a common belief that it is highly advisable for people to invent new foreign languages for global communication. While acknowledging the merits of this trend, from my perspective, a new language should not be generated because their crucial roles have several drawbacks that clearly surpass their benefits.

It is understandable why someone extols the idea that inventing a new language would be a great means of communication globally. In fact, this is based on the assumption that this main trend would remove language barriers among nations. This means that when a language has been used in all countries, it would give more opportunities for people to interact in a straightforward way. It is undeniable that not only has it helped individuals to broaden their horizons about new areas, but they have also acquired well-rounded knowledge. In addition, no sooner had such a trend spread widely than it would foster economic growth, allowing nations to incorporate international knowledge about culture as well as foreign policies easily. However, this thinking is flawed because using another language apart from the mother tongue and English has had a significant impact on people’s consciousness as well as the welfare of nations.

To reinforce my point of view, I believe the proliferation of a language trend leads to several detrimental impacts on countries. First and foremost, relying too much on other languages would make us sedentary, which could easily undermine cultural diversity. In particular, this means that the mother tongue would lose its value over time; thus, if an international language were to form, it would be sooner or later that the existence of separate languages in several parts of the world would diminish. Take English, for example; one of the most common languages has been used to convey information for conversation and commercial purposes. Nevertheless, whenever it is instilled in a nation, it becomes the second language of that country, resulting in the disappearance of the signature language along with its culture. More importantly, people are unable to devote considerable time to studying a new language because each person has different abilities in learning languages, such as pronunciation or reading, which they have to equip themselves with when they have gotten down to acquiring a communal language. As a consequence, it is clear that generating a new language would undermine the uniqueness of the original language in a nation. Therefore, I suppose that inventing a new language is not essential in the current scenario.

In conclusion, although it is apparent that a new language catering to international communication should be invented as soon as possible, I firmly believe that the disadvantages of this trend obviously exceed its benefits.