Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones in communication has negative effects on young people’s reading and writing skills. Do you agree or disagree?

Currently, it is widely recognized that technological advancements have led to the widespread manufacturing of devices, which have become indispensable tools for communication. However, it is contended that the extensive use of computers and mobile phones in communication negatively affects the reading and writing abilities of young individuals. From my perspective, I strongly support this viewpoint due to the reliance on digital devices and the erosion of fundamental skills.

It is vital to understand that young people tend to rely on their mobile phones and computers. In other words, these devices provide all the information required and facilitate convenient access to information, making it easier for individuals to find what they need without engaging with extensive reading materials. Moreover, the information on these resources is often summarized in brief formats, which is more appealing to young individuals who prefer simplicity. Consequently, the reading skills of young individuals are significantly diminished; without engaging with books or lengthy passages, they may not acquire sufficient complex vocabulary to enhance their writing skills.

Another key component of this issue is that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones also contributes to the deterioration of young people's reading and writing skills. What I mean by this is that instead of devoting time to reading books or practicing writing, individuals often prioritize other activities on their mobile devices, such as engaging in gaming or browsing the internet. As a result, when faced with handwritten assignments or reading textbooks for their studies, many students face challenges with these tasks.

In conclusion, I believe that the heavy reliance on digital devices can lead to negative consequences for the reading and writing skills of young generations.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Currently, it is widely recognized" -> "It is widely acknowledged"
Explanation: "It is widely acknowledged" is a more concise and formal alternative that maintains the academic tone without redundancy.
"which have become indispensable tools" -> "which have become essential tools"
Explanation: "Essential" is a more precise term than "indispensable" in this context, as it specifically refers to the necessity of the tools without implying a sense of absolute necessity.
"it is contended" -> "it is argued"
Explanation: "It is argued" is a more direct and academically appropriate phrase, avoiding the slightly archaic tone of "it is contended."
"strongly support this viewpoint" -> "firmly support this perspective"
Explanation: "Firmly support" is a more formal expression than "strongly support," and "perspective" is often preferred over "viewpoint" in academic writing for its slightly more formal connotation.
"reliance on digital devices" -> "dependence on digital devices"
Explanation: "Dependence" is a more precise term than "reliance," as it implies a stronger, more critical reliance, which is more suitable for the context of the essay.
"the erosion of fundamental skills" -> "the erosion of fundamental skills"
Explanation: This is a correction to ensure that the phrase is grammatically complete and maintains the formal tone of academic writing.
"young people tend to rely" -> "young individuals tend to rely"
Explanation: "Individuals" is a more formal term than "people," which is preferred in academic contexts to maintain a professional tone.
"provide all the information required" -> "provide all the necessary information"
Explanation: "Necessary" is more precise than "required," enhancing the academic tone by specifying the importance of the information.
"facilitate convenient access to information" -> "facilitate easy access to information"
Explanation: "Easy" is a more precise adjective than "convenient" in this context, as it directly relates to the ease of access, which is more relevant to the discussion of digital devices.
"the reading skills of young individuals are significantly diminished" -> "the reading skills of young individuals are significantly impaired"
Explanation: "Impaired" is a more precise term than "diminished," as it specifically refers to the negative impact on the functionality or quality of the skills, which is more appropriate in an academic context.
"without engaging with books or lengthy passages" -> "without engaging with extensive reading materials"
Explanation: "Extensive reading materials" is a more formal and encompassing term than "books or lengthy passages," which is more specific and academically appropriate.
"the deterioration of young people’s reading and writing skills" -> "the decline of young individuals’ reading and writing skills"
Explanation: "Decline" is a more formal synonym for "deterioration," and "individuals" is preferred over "people" for its formality and specificity in academic writing.
"devoting time to reading books or practicing writing" -> "devoting time to reading and writing"
Explanation: Simplifying the phrase to "reading and writing" removes redundancy and maintains a formal tone by avoiding unnecessary specificity.
"engaging in gaming or browsing the internet" -> "engaging in activities such as gaming and browsing the internet"
Explanation: Adding "such as" clarifies that the activities mentioned are examples, enhancing the precision and formality of the statement.
"many students face challenges with these tasks" -> "many students encounter difficulties with these tasks"
Explanation: "Encounter difficulties" is a more formal expression than "face challenges," which is slightly more colloquial and less precise in an academic context.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by clearly stating a position that agrees with the notion that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones negatively impacts young people’s reading and writing skills. The introduction sets the stage well, and the body paragraphs provide relevant arguments that support this stance. For instance, the author discusses the reliance on digital devices and the preference for summarized information, which directly relates to the decline in reading skills. However, while the main argument is well-articulated, the essay could benefit from a more explicit acknowledgment of counterarguments or alternative perspectives to fully address all parts of the question.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, consider briefly discussing opposing views, such as the potential benefits of technology in improving literacy through interactive reading apps or online writing tools. This would demonstrate a more comprehensive understanding of the topic and strengthen the argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, consistently supporting the argument that reliance on technology negatively affects reading and writing skills. Phrases like "I strongly support this viewpoint" and "I believe that the heavy reliance on digital devices can lead to negative consequences" reinforce the author’s stance. The clarity of position is commendable, as it helps the reader follow the argument without confusion.
- How to improve: To further solidify the position, the author could use transitional phrases that reiterate the main argument at the beginning or end of each paragraph. This would enhance cohesion and remind the reader of the central thesis as they progress through the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas effectively, particularly in the discussion of how digital devices contribute to diminished reading and writing skills. The examples provided, such as the preference for brief information and the prioritization of gaming over reading, are relevant and illustrate the points made. However, the development of these ideas could be more extensive, as some points are introduced but not fully explored. For instance, the mention of "complex vocabulary" could be elaborated upon with examples of how this impacts writing quality.
- How to improve: To improve the depth of the argument, the author should aim to provide more detailed examples and explanations for each point made. This could involve discussing specific studies or statistics that illustrate the decline in reading and writing skills among young people due to technology use.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, with all points directly related to the impact of technology on reading and writing skills. There are no significant deviations from the topic, which is a strong aspect of the essay. The structure supports this focus, with each paragraph contributing to the overall argument.
- How to improve: While the essay is on topic, the author should ensure that every example and argument is tightly linked back to the main thesis. This could involve explicitly stating how each point relates to the negative effects of technology on reading and writing skills, reinforcing the relevance of each argument to the central claim.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a well-argued position. By incorporating counterarguments, expanding on ideas with more examples, and enhancing cohesion through transitional phrases, the author can further elevate the quality of the response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument regarding the negative impact of technology on young people’s reading and writing skills. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, outlining the author’s stance. Each paragraph follows a logical progression, with the first paragraph discussing reliance on devices and the second elaborating on the consequences of this reliance. The ideas are well-connected, and the essay maintains a clear focus throughout.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization further, consider using more explicit linking phrases between paragraphs to guide the reader through the argument. For example, at the beginning of the second paragraph, a phrase like "Building on this point" could reinforce the connection between the reliance on technology and its consequences. Additionally, a more robust conclusion that summarizes the key points could strengthen the overall coherence.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate distinct ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The first paragraph addresses the reliance on technology, while the second discusses the resulting deterioration of skills. This clear separation aids readability and comprehension.
- How to improve: While the paragraphing is generally effective, consider ensuring that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea. For instance, the first sentence of the second paragraph could be rephrased to explicitly state that it will discuss the consequences of reliance on technology. This would enhance clarity and help the reader anticipate the content of each paragraph.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as "however," "moreover," and "consequently," which help to connect ideas and maintain flow. These devices effectively guide the reader through the argument and clarify relationships between points.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating more varied transitions and connectors. For example, instead of repeating "Moreover," you could use alternatives like "Additionally" or "Furthermore" to introduce new points. Additionally, using phrases that indicate contrast or concession, such as "On the other hand" or "Despite this," could add depth to the argument and highlight counterpoints, making the essay more nuanced.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, with clear organization, effective paragraphing, and appropriate use of cohesive devices. With some minor adjustments, it could achieve an even higher level of clarity and sophistication.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fair range of vocabulary, with terms like "technological advancements," "indispensable tools," and "deterioration" showcasing an attempt to use more sophisticated language. However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly in phrases like "young individuals" and "mobile devices," which could be varied to enhance the richness of the essay. For instance, the term "young individuals" could be replaced with "youth" or "teenagers" in different sections to avoid redundancy.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related terms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "rely" and "reliance," alternatives like "depend" or "count on" could be used. Additionally, introducing more academic or topic-specific vocabulary related to education and technology could elevate the essay’s lexical sophistication.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay generally uses vocabulary appropriately, there are instances where word choice could be more precise. For example, the phrase "the information on these resources is often summarized in brief formats" could be more accurately expressed as "the information available is often presented in concise formats," which better conveys the idea of brevity in digital content. Additionally, the term "diminished" in "reading skills of young individuals are significantly diminished" could be replaced with "compromised" or "weakened" for a stronger impact.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on selecting words that convey the intended meaning more clearly. This can be achieved by practicing paraphrasing sentences and using a thesaurus to find more fitting words. Engaging with academic texts can also help in understanding how precise vocabulary is used in context.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a good level of spelling accuracy, with no glaring errors observed. Words like "technological," "indispensable," and "convenient" are spelled correctly, which reflects a solid understanding of standard English spelling conventions. However, maintaining this level of accuracy throughout is crucial, as even minor errors can detract from the overall quality of the writing.
- How to improve: To further enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular proofreading practices, perhaps reading the essay aloud to catch any potential mistakes. Utilizing spelling and grammar checking tools can also be beneficial. Additionally, keeping a personal list of commonly misspelled words and reviewing them can help solidify correct spelling in future writing tasks.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a competent use of vocabulary, there are opportunities for improvement in range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By diversifying vocabulary, selecting more precise terms, and maintaining careful proofreading practices, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future assessments.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, complex sentences such as "However, it is contended that the extensive use of computers and mobile phones in communication negatively affects the reading and writing abilities of young individuals" effectively convey nuanced ideas. Additionally, the use of conditional phrases, such as "when faced with handwritten assignments or reading textbooks for their studies," adds depth to the argument. The writer also employs a mix of simple and compound sentences, which contributes to the overall fluency of the essay.
- How to improve: To further diversify sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more varied introductory phrases and transition words to enhance coherence. For example, using phrases like "On the other hand" or "In contrast" could help in presenting counterarguments or alternative perspectives. Additionally, integrating more passive voice constructions or participial phrases could enrich the complexity of the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits a strong command of grammar and punctuation. Most sentences are well-structured and free from major errors. However, there are minor issues, such as the phrase "the erosion of fundamental skills," which could be more clearly linked to the preceding sentence for better clarity. Additionally, the use of commas is mostly accurate, but there are instances where they could enhance readability, such as before conjunctions in compound sentences.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on ensuring that all phrases are clearly connected. For example, revising sentences to explicitly link ideas can prevent ambiguity. Furthermore, practicing the rules of comma usage, especially in complex sentences, will enhance clarity. The writer might benefit from reviewing punctuation rules related to introductory clauses and lists to ensure that their writing is as precise as possible.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a high level of grammatical range and accuracy, meriting a Band Score of 8. By further diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision, the writer can aim for an even higher level of proficiency.

Bài sửa mẫu

Currently, it is widely acknowledged that technological advancements have led to the widespread manufacturing of devices, which have become essential tools for communication. However, it is argued that the extensive use of computers and mobile phones in communication negatively affects the reading and writing abilities of young individuals. From my perspective, I firmly support this viewpoint due to the dependence on digital devices and the erosion of fundamental skills.

It is vital to understand that young people tend to rely on their mobile phones and computers. In other words, these devices provide all the necessary information and facilitate easy access to information, making it easier for individuals to find what they need without engaging with extensive reading materials. Moreover, the information on these resources is often summarized in brief formats, which is more appealing to young individuals who prefer simplicity. Consequently, the reading skills of young individuals are significantly impaired; without engaging with books or lengthy passages, they may not acquire sufficient complex vocabulary to enhance their writing skills.

Another key component of this issue is that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones also contributes to the decline of young individuals’ reading and writing skills. What I mean by this is that instead of devoting time to reading books or practicing writing, individuals often prioritize other activities on their mobile devices, such as engaging in gaming or browsing the internet. As a result, when faced with handwritten assignments or reading textbooks for their studies, many students encounter difficulties with these tasks.

In conclusion, I believe that the heavy reliance on digital devices can lead to negative consequences for the reading and writing skills of young generations.