Global environmental issues are the responsibility of richer nations, not poorer ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Include any relevant examples from your own experiences or expertise and your reasoning for your choice. Write at least 250 words.

Global environmental issues are the responsibility of richer nations, not poorer ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Include any relevant examples from your own experiences or expertise and your reasoning for your choice.
Write at least 250 words.

Global environmental issues are indeed a complex challenge that implicates all nations, but the extent of responsibility between richer and poorer countries can be viewed through several lenses. I believe that while richer nations have a larger share of responsibility due to their historical and ongoing contributions to environmental degradation, poorer nations also bear a significant responsibility, particularly in terms of local actions and adaptation efforts.

Historically, richer nations have been the primary contributors to greenhouse gas emissions and environmental degradation. For instance, countries like the United States and members of the European Union have contributed significantly to carbon emissions over decades, primarily due to industrialization and high levels of consumption. This historical perspective establishes a case for these nations to lead in mitigation efforts and support global initiatives for climate action.

Moreover, wealthier countries often possess more advanced technology and resources to address environmental issues. They have the capacity to invest in clean energy, implement stringent environmental regulations, and drive international agreements like the Paris Agreement. For example, Germany's commitment to renewable energy and the U.S. rejoining the Paris Agreement highlight how wealthier nations can take significant steps toward environmental sustainability.

However, poorer nations, despite their lower historical emissions, are often on the front lines of climate change impacts. Countries in sub-Saharan Africa and parts of Southeast Asia face severe consequences such as droughts, flooding, and rising sea levels, which can exacerbate poverty and undermine development efforts. These nations often lack the resources to adapt effectively to these changes. As such, they have a critical need for support from wealthier countries in the form of financial aid, technology transfer, and capacity-building.

Additionally, poorer countries are not without agency. Many have initiated local environmental projects and sustainable practices despite limited resources. For instance, Kenya has made significant strides in reforestation efforts, and Bhutan has pursued a unique development model focused on Gross National Happiness that prioritizes environmental conservation.

In conclusion, the responsibility for global environmental issues is indeed shared, with richer nations having a greater historical responsibility and capacity to lead and support. However, poorer nations also play a vital role in addressing local challenges and should be supported to strengthen their efforts. A collaborative approach, where wealthier nations provide assistance while poorer nations take active roles in their own sustainable development, appears to be the most effective way forward.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "implicates all nations" -> "affects all nations"
   Explanation: The word "implicates" is incorrect in this context. "Affects" is the correct term to describe how global environmental issues impact nations, enhancing the accuracy and clarity of the statement.

2. "can be viewed through several lenses" -> "can be considered from various perspectives"
   Explanation: "Viewed through several lenses" is a metaphorical expression that may be considered too informal for academic writing. "Considered from various perspectives" maintains the metaphorical nature while aligning better with formal academic language.

3. "I believe" -> "it is argued"
   Explanation: "I believe" introduces a personal opinion, which is less suitable for academic writing. "It is argued" presents a more objective stance, typical of academic discourse.

4. "larger share of responsibility" -> "greater responsibility"
   Explanation: "Larger share of responsibility" is redundant. "Greater responsibility" is more concise and maintains the formal tone.

5. "particularly in terms of local actions and adaptation efforts" -> "especially in terms of local actions and adaptations"
   Explanation: "Adaptation efforts" is a bit vague; "adaptations" is more precise and fits better in the context of environmental actions.

6. "wealthier nations have been the primary contributors" -> "wealthier nations have been the primary contributors to"
   Explanation: Adding "to" after "contributors" clarifies the prepositional phrase, enhancing grammatical accuracy.

7. "high levels of consumption" -> "high levels of consumption patterns"
   Explanation: Adding "patterns" specifies the type of consumption, enhancing the precision of the statement.

8. "wealthier countries often possess more advanced technology" -> "wealthier countries frequently possess more advanced technologies"
   Explanation: "Frequently" is more formal than "often," and "technologies" is plural to encompass a broader range of technological advancements.

9. "implement stringent environmental regulations" -> "enact stringent environmental regulations"
   Explanation: "Enact" is more specific to the context of legislation and policy implementation, fitting better in an academic discussion about government actions.

10. "drive international agreements like the Paris Agreement" -> "promote international agreements such as the Paris Agreement"
    Explanation: "Promote" is more precise in the context of encouraging or supporting international agreements, and "such as" is more formal than "like."

11. "despite their lower historical emissions" -> "despite their relatively lower historical emissions"
    Explanation: Adding "relatively" clarifies that the comparison is relative to other nations, enhancing the precision of the statement.

12. "lack the resources to adapt effectively" -> "lack the resources necessary to adapt effectively"
    Explanation: Adding "necessary" clarifies the conditionality of the statement, emphasizing the requirement for resources to adapt effectively.

13. "have a critical need for support" -> "require critical support"
    Explanation: "Require" is more direct and formal, fitting better in an academic context than "have a critical need for."

14. "Many have initiated local environmental projects" -> "Many have undertaken local environmental initiatives"
    Explanation: "Undertaken" is more formal and precise than "initiated," and "initiatives" is a more academic term than "projects."

15. "pursued a unique development model focused on Gross National Happiness" -> "adopted a unique development model centered on Gross National Happiness"
    Explanation: "Adopted" is more specific to the context of choosing or implementing a model, and "centered on" is more formal than "focused on."

These changes enhance the precision, formality, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the responsibilities of both richer and poorer nations in relation to global environmental issues. The author presents a nuanced view, acknowledging that while richer nations have historically contributed more to environmental degradation, poorer nations also have significant local responsibilities and challenges. The use of specific examples, such as the U.S. and Germany’s roles in climate initiatives, strengthens the argument. However, the essay could further clarify the extent of agreement or disagreement with the statement, as it presents a balanced view rather than a definitive stance.
  • How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer could explicitly state their level of agreement or disagreement at the beginning and reinforce this position throughout the essay. Providing a more definitive conclusion that summarizes their stance could also help clarify their position.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a generally clear position, indicating that richer nations have a larger share of responsibility while recognizing the agency of poorer nations. However, the complexity of the argument may lead to some ambiguity regarding the author’s overall stance. The introduction suggests a balanced view, but the conclusion could be interpreted as leaning towards shared responsibility rather than a clear agreement or disagreement with the prompt.
  • How to improve: To ensure a clear position, the writer should consistently reinforce their main argument throughout the essay. This could involve reiterating their stance in each paragraph and ensuring that the conclusion decisively reflects their viewpoint, possibly by summarizing the key reasons for their agreement or disagreement.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents well-developed ideas, supported by relevant examples and reasoning. The discussion of historical emissions, technological capabilities, and local initiatives provides a comprehensive view of the responsibilities of both richer and poorer nations. The examples used, such as Germany’s renewable energy efforts and Kenya’s reforestation projects, effectively illustrate the points made. However, some ideas could be further extended with additional examples or deeper analysis.
  • How to improve: To strengthen the support for ideas, the writer could include more specific examples or data to back up claims, particularly regarding the impacts of climate change on poorer nations. Additionally, elaborating on how poorer nations can be supported in their local efforts would provide a more rounded argument.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, discussing the responsibilities of richer and poorer nations in the context of global environmental issues. The writer successfully avoids tangential discussions, maintaining relevance to the prompt. However, the complexity of the argument may lead to some moments where the focus could be sharpened, particularly in the transition between discussing the responsibilities of richer nations and the agency of poorer nations.
  • How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each paragraph clearly relates back to the main argument. Using topic sentences that directly address the prompt can help guide the reader and reinforce the essay’s relevance. Additionally, transitions between points should be smooth and clearly linked to the overall argument to avoid any potential drift from the topic.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the main argument. Each paragraph builds on the previous one, effectively exploring different aspects of the topic. For example, the first body paragraph discusses the historical responsibility of richer nations, while the second highlights their technological advantages. This logical progression helps the reader follow the argument easily. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the shared responsibility, reinforcing the essay’s coherence.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using more explicit transitional phrases between paragraphs to guide the reader. For instance, at the beginning of the second body paragraph, a phrase like "Building on this historical context, it is also important to consider…" could further clarify the connection between ideas.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The introduction sets the stage, the body paragraphs delve into the responsibilities of richer and poorer nations, and the conclusion wraps up the discussion. Each paragraph is well-developed, containing relevant examples that support the main argument.
  • How to improve: While the paragraphing is generally effective, ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea. For example, the first body paragraph could start with a sentence like, "Richer nations bear a historical responsibility for environmental degradation," which would immediately clarify the focus of that paragraph.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "for instance," "moreover," and "however," which help to connect ideas and guide the reader through the argument. The use of these devices contributes to the overall fluency of the essay. For example, "However" effectively introduces a contrasting point regarding the responsibilities of poorer nations, enhancing the complexity of the argument.
  • How to improve: To further diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, using "in addition," "consequently," or "on the other hand" can add variety and depth to the transitions between ideas. Additionally, ensure that cohesive devices are used appropriately and not overused, as this can lead to redundancy.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, with effective organization, clear paragraphing, and appropriate use of cohesive devices. By implementing the suggested improvements, the writer can further enhance the clarity and fluidity of their argument.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 8

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, effectively employing terms relevant to environmental issues such as "greenhouse gas emissions," "mitigation efforts," "sustainable practices," and "capacity-building." The use of phrases like "historical perspective" and "local actions" adds depth to the discussion. The vocabulary choices are appropriate for the topic and contribute to a nuanced argument.
  • How to improve: To further enhance lexical variety, consider incorporating more synonyms and advanced vocabulary. For instance, instead of repeating "environmental issues," you could use "ecological challenges" or "environmental crises" in different sections of the essay. This would not only diversify the language but also demonstrate a broader lexical resource.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, with terms like "adaptation efforts" and "financial aid" clearly conveying the intended meaning. However, there are moments where precision could be improved. For example, the phrase "wealthier countries often possess more advanced technology" could be more specific by mentioning "innovative technologies" or "cutting-edge solutions," which would convey a stronger sense of advancement.
  • How to improve: Aim for more precise vocabulary by selecting words that convey exact meanings. For example, instead of saying "have contributed significantly," you could say "have disproportionately contributed," which emphasizes the extent of their contribution in relation to poorer nations. Additionally, using specific examples of technologies or policies could enhance clarity and precision.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors in the text. Words such as "environmental," "conservation," and "sustainability" are spelled correctly, reflecting a strong command of English spelling conventions.
  • How to improve: To maintain and further enhance spelling accuracy, consider implementing a proofreading strategy. After writing, take a moment to read through the essay slowly, focusing on each word. Additionally, familiarizing yourself with commonly misspelled words in academic writing can help prevent errors in future essays. Engaging in regular vocabulary exercises can also reinforce correct spelling.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and demonstrates a strong command of lexical resource, meriting a band score of 8. By focusing on enhancing vocabulary variety, precision, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can aim for an even higher score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences. For instance, the use of phrases like "while richer nations have a larger share of responsibility" and "despite their lower historical emissions" showcases the ability to use subordinating conjunctions effectively. The essay also employs varied sentence openings, such as "Historically," "Moreover," and "However," which adds to the overall fluency and coherence of the writing.
  • How to improve: To further diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more varied sentence lengths and types, such as using more rhetorical questions or conditional sentences. For example, introducing a conditional clause like "If wealthier nations were to fully commit to supporting poorer nations, the global response to climate change could be significantly enhanced" could add depth and complexity to the argument.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors that do not impede understanding. For example, the phrase "countries like the United States and members of the European Union have contributed significantly" is grammatically correct, and punctuation is generally well-handled, with commas used appropriately to separate clauses. However, there are instances where punctuation could be improved for clarity, such as in the sentence "These nations often lack the resources to adapt effectively to these changes," where a semicolon could have been used to separate two independent clauses for better readability.
  • How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy and punctuation skills, pay attention to the use of commas in complex sentences, ensuring they are placed correctly to avoid run-on sentences. Additionally, practicing the use of semicolons and colons can help create clearer connections between closely related ideas. Reviewing grammar rules regarding subject-verb agreement and tense consistency will also contribute to maintaining high accuracy throughout the essay.

Overall, the essay effectively meets the criteria for a Band 8 in Grammatical Range and Accuracy, showcasing a strong command of language with room for refinement in structure and punctuation.

Bài sửa mẫu

Global environmental issues are indeed a complex challenge that affects all nations, but the extent of responsibility between richer and poorer countries can be considered from various perspectives. I believe that while wealthier nations bear a greater responsibility due to their historical and ongoing contributions to environmental degradation, poorer nations also hold significant accountability, especially in terms of local actions and adaptation efforts.

Historically, wealthier nations have been the primary contributors to greenhouse gas emissions and environmental degradation. For instance, countries like the United States and members of the European Union have significantly contributed to carbon emissions over decades, primarily due to industrialization and high levels of consumption patterns. This historical perspective establishes a strong case for these nations to lead in mitigation efforts and support global initiatives for climate action.

Moreover, wealthier countries frequently possess more advanced technologies and resources to address environmental issues. They have the capacity to invest in clean energy, enact stringent environmental regulations, and promote international agreements such as the Paris Agreement. For example, Germany’s commitment to renewable energy and the U.S. rejoining the Paris Agreement highlight how wealthier nations can take substantial steps toward environmental sustainability.

However, poorer nations, despite their relatively lower historical emissions, are often on the front lines of climate change impacts. Countries in sub-Saharan Africa and parts of Southeast Asia face severe consequences such as droughts, flooding, and rising sea levels, which can exacerbate poverty and undermine development efforts. These nations often lack the resources necessary to adapt effectively to these changes. As such, they require critical support from wealthier countries in the form of financial aid, technology transfer, and capacity-building.

Additionally, poorer countries are not without agency. Many have undertaken local environmental initiatives and sustainable practices despite limited resources. For instance, Kenya has made significant strides in reforestation efforts, and Bhutan has adopted a unique development model centered on Gross National Happiness that prioritizes environmental conservation.

In conclusion, the responsibility for global environmental issues is indeed shared, with wealthier nations having a greater historical responsibility and capacity to lead and support. However, poorer nations also play a vital role in addressing local challenges and should be supported to strengthen their efforts. A collaborative approach, where wealthier nations provide assistance while poorer nations take active roles in their own sustainable development, appears to be the most effective way forward.