Some human activities have negative effects on plant and animal species. Some people think it is too late to do anything about this problem while others think effective measures can be taken to improve this situation. Discuss both views and give our opinion.

In recent years, the negative impacts of human activities on plant and animal species has become increasingly apparent. While some people argue that it is too late to take effective measures to improve this situation, others including me believe that steps can still be taken to address this issue.

On the one hand, it is justified that serious problems regarding plant and animal species caused by human activities can not be addressed whatever remedies are provided because a vast number of species of flora and fauna have nearly or totally been wiped out. Over the past few centuries, human beings have been claiming massive land for the sake of rapid urban and industrial development, meaning that the habitats of plants have been destroyed and these plants have disappeared. Similarly, some animals have died out due to losing their homes and their specific food. To be worse, overhunting of some rare animal species for human’s food, clothes and accessories almost sweep out the species and endanger the overall ecosystem.

However, it is also reasonable to consider that there are possible solutions that can mitigate the severe consequences of human behaviors. The application of modern technology, government policies and media attention play a significant role. If genetically modified technology could be fully employed, endangered plant species would be preserved from extinction because genetically modified plants are healthier and reproductive than natural trees. Additionally, governments can introduce policies that limit the destruction of habitats, such as designating protected areas and enforcing regulations on deforestation and land use. Furthermore, with more public advertisements about protecting wildlife and the importance of the environment being widely promoted, people’s awareness about this will be drastically raised, therefore, activities like hunting or killing will decline and individuals can take steps to reduce their impact on the environment, such as recycling and reducing their consumption of products that harm natural ecosystems.

In conclusion, while some people argue that it is too late to take effective measures to protect plant and animal species, I believe that there are still steps that can be taken to address this issue.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"the negative impacts of human activities on plant and animal species has" -> "the negative impacts of human activities on plant and animal species have"
Explanation: Correcting the verb agreement from "has" to "have" aligns with the plural subject "species," ensuring grammatical accuracy in formal writing.
"it is justified that serious problems" -> "it is argued that serious problems"
Explanation: Replacing "justified" with "argued" corrects the misuse of "justified," which implies justification rather than argumentation. This change aligns with the context of presenting a viewpoint.
"can not be addressed whatever remedies are provided" -> "cannot be addressed regardless of the remedies provided"
Explanation: Changing "can not" to "cannot" corrects the spelling, and "regardless of" is more precise and formal than "whatever," which is somewhat informal and vague.
"a vast number of species of flora and fauna have nearly or totally been wiped out" -> "a significant number of species of flora and fauna have been nearly or entirely wiped out"
Explanation: Replacing "vast" with "significant" provides a more precise and academically appropriate term. Also, "entirely" is more formal than "totally."
"human beings have been claiming massive land" -> "humans have been claiming large areas of land"
Explanation: "Humans" is more formal than "human beings," and "large areas of land" is more specific and appropriate than "massive land."
"meaning that the habitats of plants have been destroyed and these plants have disappeared" -> "resulting in the destruction of plant habitats and the disappearance of these plants"
Explanation: "Resulting in" is more formal and precise than "meaning that," which is somewhat vague and informal.
"To be worse" -> "Furthermore"
Explanation: "To be worse" is an informal idiom; "Furthermore" is a more formal transitional phrase suitable for academic writing.
"overhunting of some rare animal species for human’s food, clothes and accessories almost sweep out the species" -> "the overhunting of rare animal species for human consumption, clothing, and accessories has nearly eliminated these species"
Explanation: "Has nearly eliminated" is more precise and formal than "almost sweep out," which is colloquial. Also, "human consumption, clothing, and accessories" is clearer and more formal than "human’s food, clothes and accessories."
"If genetically modified technology could be fully employed" -> "If genetically modified technology were fully employed"
Explanation: Changing "could be" to "were" corrects the tense to match the hypothetical condition, enhancing the formality and clarity of the sentence.
"endangered plant species would be preserved from extinction" -> "endangered plant species could be preserved from extinction"
Explanation: "Could be" is more appropriate in hypothetical conditions, aligning with the speculative nature of the statement.
"people’s awareness about this will be drastically raised" -> "public awareness of this issue will be significantly increased"
Explanation: "Public awareness of this issue" is more specific and formal than "people’s awareness about this," and "significantly increased" is more precise than "drastically raised."
"activities like hunting or killing will decline" -> "activities such as hunting or killing will decrease"
Explanation: "Such as" is more formal than "like," and "decrease" is a more academic term than "decline" in this context.

These changes enhance the precision, formality, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both views regarding the impact of human activities on plant and animal species. The first body paragraph presents the argument that it is too late to take action, citing specific examples such as habitat destruction and overhunting. The second body paragraph counters this view by discussing potential solutions, including modern technology and government policies. However, while both perspectives are discussed, the essay could benefit from a more explicit mention of the opposing view in the conclusion to reinforce the discussion.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should ensure that both views are equally represented in the conclusion. Additionally, incorporating more specific examples or statistics could strengthen the arguments presented.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that effective measures can still be taken to improve the situation of plant and animal species. This stance is consistently supported throughout the essay, particularly in the second body paragraph. However, the phrase "others including me believe" could be more assertively stated to reinforce the author’s position.
- How to improve: The writer should aim to express their opinion more decisively in the introduction and conclusion. Phrases like "I firmly believe" or "It is my strong opinion" can help to assert the writer’s stance more clearly.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas related to both views, such as habitat destruction and the role of government policies. The support for these ideas is generally strong, with relevant examples provided. However, some points, such as the effectiveness of genetically modified plants, could be elaborated further to enhance clarity and depth.
- How to improve: To improve the development of ideas, the writer should aim to provide more detailed explanations or examples for each point made. For instance, discussing specific instances of successful government policies or technological advancements could provide more substantial support for the claims.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic of human activities affecting plant and animal species and the potential for effective measures to be taken. There are no significant deviations from the topic, and the arguments presented are relevant to the prompt. However, some sentences could be more concise to maintain clarity and focus.
- How to improve: The writer should strive for conciseness in their sentences. This can be achieved by avoiding overly complex sentence structures and ensuring that each sentence directly contributes to the overall argument. Regularly revisiting the prompt during the writing process can help maintain focus on the topic.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a well-rounded discussion of the topic. With some adjustments in clarity, depth of support, and conciseness, the essay could achieve an even higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the two opposing views regarding the impact of human activities on plant and animal species. Each viewpoint is discussed in separate paragraphs, which helps maintain clarity. The first body paragraph effectively presents the argument that it may be too late to take action, supported by specific examples of habitat destruction and overhunting. The second body paragraph counters this view by discussing potential solutions, such as modern technology and government policies. This logical progression of ideas contributes to the overall coherence of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance the logical flow, consider using more explicit linking phrases between ideas within paragraphs. For instance, when transitioning from discussing the negative impacts to potential solutions, a phrase like "Despite these challenges, there are still viable solutions" could strengthen the connection between the two sections. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence can further clarify the main idea being discussed.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids in readability and comprehension. Each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of the discussion: the first on the argument that it is too late to act, and the second on the belief that measures can still be taken. The conclusion succinctly summarizes the arguments presented, reinforcing the writer’s opinion.
- How to improve: While the paragraphing is generally effective, the introduction could benefit from a clearer outline of the essay’s structure. Including a brief mention of the points that will be discussed in each body paragraph can provide a roadmap for the reader. For example, stating that the first paragraph will discuss the irreversible damage caused by human activities, while the second will explore potential solutions, would enhance the clarity of the introduction.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand," "However," and "In conclusion," which help to signal shifts in argument and maintain coherence. The use of specific examples also aids in linking ideas and reinforcing arguments. However, there is some repetition in the use of cohesive devices, particularly in the second body paragraph, where "Additionally" and "Furthermore" are used in close succession.
- How to improve: To diversify the range of cohesive devices, consider incorporating synonyms or alternative phrases that serve similar functions. For example, instead of repeatedly using "Additionally," you could use "Moreover" or "In addition." Furthermore, varying sentence structures can also enhance cohesion; for instance, starting some sentences with dependent clauses can create a more dynamic flow. Additionally, using pronouns effectively to refer back to previously mentioned ideas can help maintain coherence without redundancy.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, with clear organization and effective use of paragraphs and cohesive devices. By implementing the suggested improvements, the writer can further enhance the clarity and flow of their arguments.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, using terms such as "negative impacts," "urban and industrial development," "habitats," and "genetically modified technology." However, the vocabulary tends to be somewhat repetitive, particularly in phrases like "human activities," which appears multiple times. Additionally, the use of synonyms or more varied expressions could enhance the richness of the essay.
- How to improve: To improve vocabulary range, the writer should aim to incorporate synonyms and varied expressions. For example, instead of repeatedly using "human activities," alternatives like "human actions," "anthropogenic activities," or "human-induced changes" could be employed. Furthermore, introducing more advanced vocabulary related to environmental issues, such as "biodiversity," "conservation," or "sustainability," would elevate the essay.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "overhunting of some rare animal species for human’s food, clothes and accessories almost sweep out the species" uses "sweep out" incorrectly; a more appropriate term would be "wiped out" or "exterminated." Additionally, the phrase "genetically modified plants are healthier and reproductive than natural trees" could be misleading, as it implies a direct comparison without context.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should ensure that vocabulary accurately conveys the intended meaning. It would be beneficial to use phrases like "exterminated" instead of "sweep out" and clarify comparisons by providing context. For instance, instead of stating that genetically modified plants are "healthier," the writer could specify that they are "engineered for resilience against pests and diseases," which provides a clearer understanding of the benefits.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally displays good spelling, with only minor errors. However, there are a few instances where spelling could be improved, such as "human’s food" which should be "humans’ food" to indicate plural possession correctly. Additionally, "To be worse" is an awkward phrase and could be rephrased for clarity.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay carefully, focusing on plural forms and possessives. Utilizing spell-check tools or engaging in peer reviews can also help catch errors before submission. Furthermore, practicing writing with attention to common spelling challenges in academic writing would be beneficial.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents both views effectively, improving vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy will help elevate the Lexical Resource score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences, conditional clauses, and a mix of simple and compound sentences. For instance, the use of conditional structures in "If genetically modified technology could be fully employed…" effectively introduces hypothetical scenarios. Additionally, the essay employs a range of phrases such as "On the one hand" and "However," which help to organize the argument logically. However, there are moments where sentence structures could be more varied to enhance readability and engagement. For example, the sentence "To be worse, overhunting of some rare animal species for human’s food, clothes and accessories almost sweep out the species and endanger the overall ecosystem" could be restructured for clarity and impact.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures further, consider incorporating more varied introductory phrases, using passive voice where appropriate, and experimenting with different ways to combine ideas. For instance, instead of starting several sentences with "It is," try beginning with adverbial clauses or participial phrases to create more dynamic openings. Additionally, using more varied conjunctions and relative clauses can enhance the complexity of your sentences.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay displays a strong command of grammar and punctuation, with only minor errors. For instance, the phrase "can not be addressed whatever remedies are provided" contains a grammatical error; "cannot" should be written as one word. Additionally, the sentence "To be worse, overhunting of some rare animal species for human’s food, clothes and accessories almost sweep out the species" has a subject-verb agreement issue, as "sweep" should be "sweeps." Punctuation is generally well-handled, but there are instances where commas could enhance clarity, such as before "therefore" in the sentence discussing public advertisements.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, it is essential to proofread for common errors, particularly in subject-verb agreement and the correct use of contractions. Practicing sentence construction and reviewing rules for punctuation, especially in complex sentences, can also help. It may be beneficial to read the essay aloud to catch awkward phrasing or grammatical mistakes that might be overlooked in silent reading. Additionally, consider using grammar-checking tools to identify and correct errors before finalizing your essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

In recent years, it is argued that serious problems regarding the negative impacts of human activities on plant and animal species have become increasingly apparent. While some people believe it is too late to take effective measures to improve this situation, others, including myself, maintain that steps can still be taken to address this issue.

On the one hand, it is justified to argue that serious problems concerning plant and animal species caused by human activities cannot be addressed regardless of the remedies provided. A significant number of species of flora and fauna have been nearly or entirely wiped out. Over the past few centuries, humans have been claiming large areas of land for the sake of rapid urban and industrial development, resulting in the destruction of plant habitats and the disappearance of these plants. Similarly, some animals have died out due to losing their homes and their specific food sources. To make matters worse, the overhunting of rare animal species for human consumption, clothing, and accessories has nearly eliminated these species and endangered the overall ecosystem.

However, it is also reasonable to consider that there are possible solutions that can mitigate the severe consequences of human behaviors. The application of modern technology, government policies, and media attention play a significant role. If genetically modified technology were fully employed, endangered plant species could be preserved from extinction because genetically modified plants are healthier and more reproductive than their natural counterparts. Additionally, governments can introduce policies that limit the destruction of habitats, such as designating protected areas and enforcing regulations on deforestation and land use. Furthermore, with increased public awareness of this issue, activities such as hunting or killing will decrease, and individuals can take steps to reduce their impact on the environment, such as recycling and minimizing their consumption of products that harm natural ecosystems.