Some people think that the government has the duty to ensure its citizens have a healthy diet, while others argue it is the responsibility of each individual. Discuss both views and give your opinion

here are some people thinks that goverment should take responsibility of their citizens to ensure that they have a healthy and safe diet while some of them say that it is duty of each individual. For me, my opinion is that citizens should protect and have a healthy diet by theirself.
The goverment have an obligation to control the origin of each food and the content of additives. They need to guarantee that food is selling and consuming by their citizens are safe and have direcly origin. Also, they need to raise people's awerness to have a healthy diet and need to shape healthy future habits, which will help them live longer and increase their strength.
Although the goverment need to guarantee the quality of food, they can't in charge of all the citizens. Each person has to pay careful attention to what they gonna eat. They need to increase their awerness to protect themself and their family from hazardous food of unknow origin. About healthy diet, the goverment cannot control all the eating habitat of each citizens and they dont have an oblogation to do it, each citizens need to conscious their health and need to do a healthy diet to increase their health
In conclusion, the goverment is in charge of ensure the quality of food , but they dont have responsibility to interven to each citizens's eating habits, that is the responsibility of each inviduals

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"here are some people thinks" -> "some people think"
Explanation: Correcting the grammatical error from "thinks" to "think" fixes the verb agreement and aligns with standard English usage.
"goverment" -> "government"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling error to the standard form "government" for proper noun usage.
"take responsibility of their citizens" -> "take responsibility for their citizens"
Explanation: Replacing "of" with "for" corrects the preposition needed in this context, enhancing grammatical accuracy.
"they have a healthy and safe diet" -> "they maintain a healthy and safe diet"
Explanation: Replacing "have" with "maintain" suggests a continuous action, which is more appropriate in the context of ongoing habits and practices.
"by theirself" -> "themselves"
Explanation: Corrects the possessive form "by theirself" to "themselves" for grammatical accuracy and standard usage.
"The goverment have" -> "The government has"
Explanation: Corrects the verb agreement from "have" to "has" to match the singular noun "government".
"direcly origin" -> "direct origin"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling error from "direcly" to "direct" for accuracy and clarity.
"are safe and have direcly origin" -> "are safe and have a direct origin"
Explanation: Adds the article "a" before "direct origin" to correct the grammatical structure.
"raise people’s awerness" -> "raise people’s awareness"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling of "awerness" to "awareness" for standard English usage.
"need to shape healthy future habits" -> "need to cultivate healthy future habits"
Explanation: Replacing "shape" with "cultivate" provides a more precise and academically appropriate term for promoting habits.
"they can’t in charge of all the citizens" -> "they cannot be in charge of all citizens"
Explanation: Corrects the contraction "can’t" to "cannot" for formality and grammatical correctness, and adjusts the phrase structure for clarity.
"what they gonna eat" -> "what they are going to eat"
Explanation: Corrects the informal contraction "gonna" to "going to" for formal writing, and adds the article "the" for grammatical accuracy.
"increase their awerness" -> "increase their awareness"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling of "awerness" to "awareness" for standard English usage.
"hazardous food of unknow origin" -> "hazardous food of unknown origin"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling of "unknow" to "unknown" for grammatical correctness and clarity.
"dont have an oblogation" -> "do not have an obligation"
Explanation: Corrects the contraction "dont" to "do not" and the misspelling "oblogation" to "obligation" for formal and correct usage.
"each citizens need to conscious their health" -> "each citizen needs to be conscious of their health"
Explanation: Corrects the plural "citizens" to singular "citizen" for subject-verb agreement, and adjusts the phrase structure for grammatical correctness and clarity.
"need to do a healthy diet" -> "need to follow a healthy diet"
Explanation: Replaces "do a healthy diet" with "follow a healthy diet" to use the correct verb and preposition for the context of adhering to a diet.
"ensure the quality of food" -> "ensure the quality of the food"
Explanation: Adds the article "the" before "food" to correct the grammatical structure.
"they dont have responsibility to interven to each citizens’s eating habits" -> "they do not have the responsibility to intervene in each citizen’s eating habits"
Explanation: Corrects the contraction "dont" to "do not" and the misspelling "interven" to "intervene," and adjusts the possessive form "citizens’s" to "citizen’s" for grammatical accuracy and clarity.
"that is the responsibility of each inviduals" -> "that is the responsibility of each individual"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling of "inviduals" to "individual" for standard English usage.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address both views regarding the government’s role in ensuring a healthy diet and the individual’s responsibility. However, the discussion is quite superficial. The first paragraph introduces the two perspectives but does not explore them in depth. The essay states that the government should ensure food safety and raise awareness, but it fails to provide specific examples or detailed arguments for either viewpoint. The second half of the essay leans more towards the individual’s responsibility but lacks a balanced exploration of the government’s role.
- How to improve: To improve, the essay should provide a more balanced discussion of both perspectives. Each viewpoint should be elaborated with specific examples or arguments. For instance, discussing government initiatives in public health or individual choices in dietary habits could enhance the depth of the analysis. Additionally, a clearer structure that separates the discussion of each viewpoint would help.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The writer’s position is somewhat clear in favor of individual responsibility, but it lacks consistency and clarity. The introduction states a personal opinion but does not effectively tie back to it throughout the essay. The conclusion reiterates the individual’s responsibility but does not clearly summarize the arguments made for the government’s role, leading to a disjointed presentation of ideas.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the writer should consistently refer back to their opinion throughout the essay. Using phrases like "In my view" or "I believe" at strategic points can help reinforce the stance. Additionally, summarizing the key points in the conclusion that support the position would create a more cohesive argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: Ideas presented in the essay are often vague and lack sufficient development. For example, the statement about the government needing to control food origin is mentioned but not elaborated upon. Similarly, the discussion about individual responsibility is repetitive and does not provide new insights or supporting evidence.
- How to improve: To enhance the presentation and support of ideas, the writer should aim to develop each point with more detail. This could include statistics, examples of successful government health initiatives, or personal anecdotes that illustrate the importance of individual responsibility. Each idea should be clearly linked back to the main argument, ensuring that the essay flows logically.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the roles of both the government and individuals in maintaining a healthy diet. However, some sections drift into vague statements that do not contribute to the main argument. For instance, phrases like "they can’t in charge of all the citizens" lack clarity and do not effectively support the argument.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should avoid vague language and ensure that every sentence contributes to the main argument. It may be helpful to outline the main points before writing to ensure that all content is relevant and directly addresses the prompt. Additionally, avoiding redundancy will help keep the essay concise and focused.

Overall, the essay requires significant improvement in depth, clarity, and structure to effectively respond to the prompt and achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument regarding the roles of the government and individuals in maintaining a healthy diet. The introduction outlines the two perspectives effectively, and the body paragraphs provide supporting arguments for each viewpoint. However, the logical flow could be improved; for instance, the transition from discussing government responsibilities to individual responsibilities lacks clarity. The phrase "Although the government need to guarantee the quality of food, they can’t in charge of all the citizens" could be better connected to the previous point for smoother progression.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that directly relate to the thesis statement. Additionally, using transitional phrases such as "On the other hand" or "Conversely" can help clarify shifts between different viewpoints.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is a strength. However, the paragraphing could be more effective. The first paragraph combines multiple ideas without clear separation, making it harder for the reader to follow. For example, the discussion about government responsibilities and the need for individual awareness could be split into two distinct paragraphs for clarity.
- How to improve: Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main point, followed by supporting sentences that elaborate on that point. This will help maintain clarity and improve the overall structure of the essay.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to use cohesive devices, but their application is inconsistent. Phrases like "For me, my opinion is that…" and "In conclusion" provide some cohesion, yet there are instances of awkward phrasing and repetition, such as "awerness" and "healthy diet," which detract from the overall fluidity. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices could be more varied; for example, the essay relies heavily on simple conjunctions and lacks more sophisticated linking words.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "also," consider alternatives like "furthermore," "in addition," or "moreover." Additionally, ensure that cohesive devices are used correctly to enhance clarity rather than confuse the reader. Proofreading for spelling errors (e.g., "awerness," "goverment," "inviduals") will also improve the overall coherence of the essay.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, improvements in logical organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices will enhance clarity and coherence, potentially raising the overall band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. Phrases such as "healthy diet," "obligation," and "hazardous food" indicate an understanding of relevant terminology. However, the essay relies on repetitive phrases and lacks synonyms or varied expressions. For instance, the term "goverment" appears multiple times without variation, which detracts from the overall lexical richness.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related terms. For example, instead of repeating "government," alternatives like "authorities" or "state" could be used. Additionally, using phrases like "nutritious diet" or "dietary habits" can help diversify the language.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that can lead to confusion. For example, the phrase "the content of additives" could be more clearly expressed as "the presence of additives." Additionally, "the quality of food" is a vague term; specifying what aspects of quality (e.g., nutritional value, safety) would enhance clarity. The use of "in charge of" is also somewhat informal and could be replaced with "responsible for."
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on selecting words that convey their intended meaning more accurately. For example, instead of "they can’t in charge of all the citizens," a more precise phrase would be "they cannot be responsible for the dietary choices of every citizen." Encouraging the use of a thesaurus or vocabulary exercises can help in this area.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "goverment" (government), "awerness" (awareness), "direcly" (directly), "habitat" (habits), and "inviduals" (individuals). These errors not only affect the professionalism of the writing but can also lead to misunderstandings.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should consider implementing proofreading strategies, such as reading the essay aloud or using spell-check tools. Additionally, practicing commonly misspelled words and creating flashcards can reinforce correct spelling. Regular writing practice, coupled with feedback, will also help in minimizing these errors over time.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of relevant vocabulary, there are significant areas for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By diversifying word choices, enhancing precision in vocabulary usage, and focusing on spelling practice, the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in Lexical Resource.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures. Most sentences are simple or compound, lacking complexity. For example, the sentence "The goverment have an obligation to control the origin of each food and the content of additives" is straightforward but could benefit from more complex structures, such as using subordinate clauses or varied sentence beginnings. Additionally, phrases like "they can’t in charge of all the citizens" reflect a simplistic approach to sentence construction.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should practice incorporating complex sentences that use relative clauses, conditional phrases, and varied conjunctions. For instance, instead of saying "Each person has to pay careful attention to what they gonna eat," they could say "While each person has a responsibility to pay careful attention to their diet, the government should also provide guidelines to facilitate healthier choices." This not only adds complexity but also improves clarity.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect clarity and coherence. For example, "here are some people thinks that goverment should take responsibility" should be "there are some people who think that the government should take responsibility." The misuse of "goverment" (which should be "government") and "awerness" (which should be "awareness") indicates a lack of attention to spelling. Additionally, the phrase "they dont have an oblogation to do it" contains a spelling error ("oblogation" should be "obligation") and lacks proper punctuation (missing apostrophe in "don’t").
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading their work to catch spelling and grammatical errors. Utilizing grammar-checking tools or seeking feedback from peers can also help. Furthermore, practicing the correct forms of verbs and ensuring subject-verb agreement will strengthen the overall grammatical structure. For instance, revising "The goverment have an obligation" to "The government has an obligation" would correct the subject-verb agreement error.

In summary, to achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on diversifying their sentence structures and improving grammatical accuracy through careful proofreading and practice.

Bài sửa mẫu

Some people think that the government should take responsibility for their citizens to ensure that they maintain a healthy and safe diet, while others argue that it is the duty of each individual. In my opinion, citizens should take responsibility for their own health and ensure they follow a healthy diet themselves.

The government has an obligation to control the origin of each food product and the content of additives. They need to guarantee that the food being sold and consumed by their citizens is safe and has a direct origin. Additionally, they need to raise people’s awareness about the importance of a healthy diet and help shape healthy future habits, which will contribute to longer lives and increased well-being.

Although the government needs to ensure the quality of food, they cannot be in charge of all citizens’ eating habits. Each person must pay careful attention to what they are going to eat. They need to increase their awareness to protect themselves and their families from hazardous food of unknown origin. Regarding a healthy diet, the government cannot control the eating habits of each citizen, and they do not have an obligation to do so. Each citizen needs to be conscious of their health and must cultivate healthy future habits to improve their well-being.

In conclusion, the government is responsible for ensuring the quality of food, but they do not have the responsibility to intervene in each citizen’s eating habits; that is the responsibility of each individual.