The charts below show the most popular courses by admissions at UK universities in 2007 and 2014.

The bar graphs illustrate the number of admissions in six different university courses in the UK for the years 2007 and 2014. The courses compared are Law, Psychology, Pre-clinical Medicine, Design, Nursing, and Computer Science.

In 2014, there was a great increase in most courses in admission count compared to the year 2017. Most of the students participated in the law course (about 90,000 students) in the former year whereas, a number of nursing students were interested in the nursing course. The number of students who admitted to Computer Science always kept the lowest position in both years.

According to the chart, Admissions for Nursing had approximately 60,000 participants in 2007, making it the second most unpopular course. By 2014, this number had surged to around 240,000, confirmed its top position. Psychology also experienced a notable increase, from about 80,000 admissions in 2007 to nearly 200,000 in 2014. Interestingly, psychology admission had no increment and remained stable around 80,000 in both 2 years.

On the other hand, subjects like law, pre-clinical medicine, and design had a linear increment from 2007 to 2014. In this triad, law had the least increment, from around 90,000 to 100,000. Similarity, design and pre-clinical medicine slightly increased from 70,000 and 80,000 to 90,000 and 110,000. Computer science, while the least popular, saw a modest rise from 50,000 to 60,000 admissions.

In summary, the data indicates a growing interest in Nursing courses, while Law and Pre-clinical Medicine have become less popular over the years.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The bar graphs illustrate" -> "The bar charts depict"
Explanation: "Depict" is a more precise term in academic writing, emphasizing the visual representation of data more formally than "illustrate."
"a great increase" -> "a significant increase"
Explanation: "Significant" is more specific and academically appropriate than "great," which can be seen as informal and vague.
"Most of the students participated in the law course" -> "The majority of students enrolled in the law program"
Explanation: "Enrolled" is more precise in academic contexts than "participated," which can be too broad and informal. Also, "program" is more specific than "course."
"a number of nursing students were interested in the nursing course" -> "a substantial number of nursing students opted for the nursing program"
Explanation: "Opted for" is more specific and formal than "were interested in," and "program" is preferred over "course" for academic precision.
"The number of students who admitted to Computer Science always kept the lowest position" -> "The number of students admitted to Computer Science consistently maintained the lowest enrollment"
Explanation: "Consistently maintained" is more formal and precise than "always kept," and "enrollment" is more specific than "position."
"According to the chart" -> "As depicted in the data"
Explanation: "As depicted in the data" is more formal and precise, focusing on the visual representation rather than the chart specifically.
"making it the second most unpopular course" -> "placing it as the second least popular course"
Explanation: "Placing it as the second least popular course" is more formal and avoids the colloquial tone of "most unpopular."
"no increment and remained stable" -> "experienced no change and remained consistent"
Explanation: "Experienced no change and remained consistent" is more formal and avoids the awkward phrasing of "no increment and remained stable."
"Similarity, design and pre-clinical medicine" -> "Similarly, design and pre-clinical medicine"
Explanation: "Similarly" is the correct comparative conjunction for introducing a parallel comparison, whereas "Similarity" is a noun and not a conjunction.
"had the least increment" -> "showed the least growth"
Explanation: "Showed the least growth" is more specific and formal than "had the least increment," which is awkward and less commonly used.
"Similarity, design and pre-clinical medicine slightly increased" -> "Similarly, design and pre-clinical medicine experienced a slight increase"
Explanation: "Experienced a slight increase" is more formal and precise than "slightly increased," aligning better with academic style.
"Computer science, while the least popular, saw a modest rise" -> "Computer science, the least popular, experienced a moderate increase"
Explanation: "Experienced a moderate increase" is more formal and precise than "saw a modest rise," which is somewhat informal and vague.

These changes enhance the formal tone and precision of the text, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6

Explanation: The essay adequately addresses the task by providing an overview of the data and highlighting key features. However, the essay contains some inaccuracies and irrelevant details. For example, the essay states that "Psychology admission had no increment and remained stable around 80,000 in both 2 years," which is incorrect. The essay also includes some irrelevant details, such as the statement that "In this triad, law had the least increment, from around 90,000 to 100,000."

How to improve: The essay could be improved by focusing on the most significant trends and providing accurate data. The essay should also avoid irrelevant details and focus on presenting a clear and concise overview of the data.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, but there are issues with overall progression. While it attempts to compare the data from the two years, the transitions between ideas are not always clear, leading to a somewhat disjointed flow. The use of cohesive devices is inadequate and at times inaccurate, which affects the clarity of the relationships between ideas. Additionally, the paragraphing is not always logical, as some paragraphs contain multiple ideas that could be better separated for clarity.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on creating clearer topic sentences for each paragraph that directly relate to the data being discussed. Improving the use of cohesive devices, such as referencing and substitution, will help to avoid repetition and clarify relationships between ideas. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph contains a single clear idea or theme will improve overall organization and progression.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary relevant to the task, with some attempts to use less common lexical items. However, there are noticeable inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as "great increase" and "confirmed its top position," which detract from the overall clarity. Additionally, there are some errors in spelling and word formation, such as "the year 2017" instead of "the year 2014" and "in both 2 years," which may cause some confusion for the reader. Overall, while the vocabulary is sufficient for communication, it lacks the precision and flexibility required for a higher band score.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should focus on using a wider range of vocabulary with more precision and accuracy. This includes avoiding repetitive phrases and ensuring that word choices are appropriate for the context. Additionally, practicing the correct formation of words and checking for spelling errors can help improve clarity and coherence. Engaging with more complex vocabulary and collocations through reading and writing exercises could also contribute to a higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, which is characteristic of a Band 6 score. While the writer attempts to use a variety of structures, there are noticeable grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that occasionally hinder clarity. For example, phrases like "a number of nursing students were interested in the nursing course" and "psychology admission had no increment" exhibit issues with word choice and sentence construction. Additionally, there are errors in punctuation and some sentences lack coherence, which affects the overall communication of ideas.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on improving grammatical accuracy and sentence variety. This can be done by practicing complex sentence structures and ensuring that all sentences are clear and grammatically correct. Additionally, reviewing punctuation rules and enhancing vocabulary to avoid repetition would contribute to a more polished essay. Finally, ensuring that all comparisons and data interpretations are precise and well-articulated will help in conveying the intended message more effectively.

Bài sửa mẫu

In 2014, there was a significant increase in the admission counts for most courses compared to 2007. The law course attracted the highest number of students, with approximately 90,000 participants in 2007, while Nursing also garnered considerable interest. The number of students admitted to Computer Science consistently remained the lowest in both years.

According to the chart, admissions for Nursing stood at approximately 60,000 participants in 2007, making it the second least popular course. By 2014, this figure had surged to around 240,000, securing its top position. Psychology also experienced a notable increase, rising from about 80,000 admissions in 2007 to nearly 200,000 in 2014. Interestingly, Psychology admissions did not show any increment and remained stable at around 80,000 in both years.

On the other hand, subjects such as Law, Pre-clinical Medicine, and Design exhibited a steady increase from 2007 to 2014. Among these, Law had the least increment, rising from around 90,000 to 100,000. Similarly, Design and Pre-clinical Medicine saw slight increases from 70,000 and 80,000 to 90,000 and 110,000, respectively. Computer Science, while the least popular, experienced a modest rise from 50,000 to 60,000 admissions.