The best way to solve the world’s environmental problem is to increase the cost of fuel. Do you agree or disagree and give your own opinion?

In light of the proliferation of private vehicles and emissions released escalating environmental degradation, it is widely acknowledged that the optimal method to address this global issue is to raise petrol prices. While this may work to some extent, I would argue that there exist more holistic approaches to cope with the environmental problem.

Some people posit that imposing a sharp rise in fuel prices is the most effective way to mitigate air pollution resulting from exhaust fumes. The key rationale is that tax hikes on petrol may limit the number and length of car journeys to compensate for extra expenses, which limits the use of private cars, hence the reduction in greenhouse gas emissions. In addition, the increase in travel expenses can incentivize more individuals to switch to public transportation, which is often less costly and can alleviate traffic congestion. However, this line of reasoning is not sound as in many underdeveloped areas where the public transport systems such as buses, subways, trains, or ferries are not well-equipped, people still have no choice but to rely on private vehicles to travel and transport goods from one place to another.

In order to address the environmental issue more effectively, some of the long-term transport policies can be adopted. Car manufacturers should develop eco-friendly vehicles powered by solar energy or hydrogen. The fact that Tesla company is accelerating the world’s transition to sustainable energy with electric cars, solar, and integrated renewable energy solutions can not only minimize negative ecological impacts but also ensure the automobile industry’s sustainable development. Moreover, to make public means of transport accessible to everyone, governments should subsidize the cost of fares and invest in public infrastructure including underground tunnels, bus stops, and train stations. By doing this, they can hope to reduce traffic problems and improve the deteriorating air quality.

In conclusion, while hiking up fuel costs can be a stopgap measure to curb environmental deterioration, I am convinced that its underlying causes are better tackled by introducing environment-friendly vehicles and expanding public transport provision.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"In light of the proliferation of private vehicles and emissions released escalating environmental degradation" -> "Given the proliferation of private vehicles and the escalating emissions contributing to environmental degradation"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkwardly constructed and unclear. The revised version clarifies the relationship between emissions and environmental degradation, making it more direct and formal.
"the optimal method to address this global issue" -> "the most effective method to address this global issue"
Explanation: "Optimal" implies a mathematical or scientific optimum, which may not be the intended meaning here. "Most effective" is more appropriate for describing the best approach in a practical context.
"to some extent" -> "to a certain extent"
Explanation: "To some extent" is somewhat informal and vague; "to a certain extent" is more precise and formal.
"there exist more holistic approaches" -> "there are more holistic approaches"
Explanation: "Exist" is less commonly used in this context; "are" is more direct and appropriate for academic writing.
"cope with the environmental problem" -> "address the environmental issue"
Explanation: "Cope with" is somewhat informal and vague; "address" is more specific and formal, fitting the academic style better.
"Some people posit" -> "Some argue"
Explanation: "Posit" is less commonly used in this context and can be seen as overly formal or archaic; "argue" is more straightforward and commonly accepted in academic discourse.
"imposing a sharp rise in fuel prices" -> "implementing a significant increase in fuel prices"
Explanation: "Imposing" can imply force or coercion, which may not be the intended meaning. "Implementing" is neutral and more suitable for discussing policy changes.
"tax hikes on petrol" -> "fuel tax increases"
Explanation: "Petrol" is less commonly used in American English; "fuel" is more universally understood and preferred in formal writing.
"can incentivize more individuals to switch to public transportation" -> "may encourage more individuals to switch to public transportation"
Explanation: "Can" is less forceful than "may," which is more appropriate for expressing possibility in academic writing.
"not well-equipped" -> "not adequately equipped"
Explanation: "Not well-equipped" is somewhat informal and vague; "not adequately equipped" is more precise and formal.
"people still have no choice but to rely on private vehicles" -> "individuals are still compelled to rely on private vehicles"
Explanation: "People" is informal; "individuals" is more formal. "Compelled" is more precise than "have no choice but," which is somewhat colloquial.
"Car manufacturers should develop eco-friendly vehicles powered by solar energy or hydrogen" -> "Automakers should develop eco-friendly vehicles powered by solar energy or hydrogen"
Explanation: "Car manufacturers" is less formal; "automakers" is a more precise and formal term in the context of the automotive industry.
"The fact that Tesla company is accelerating" -> "The fact that Tesla is accelerating"
Explanation: "Company" is redundant when referring to a singular entity like Tesla; "company" is implied by the context.
"ensure the automobile industry’s sustainable development" -> "ensure the sustainability of the automobile industry"
Explanation: "Ensure the automobile industry’s sustainable development" is awkwardly phrased; "ensure the sustainability of the automobile industry" is clearer and more formal.
"to make public means of transport accessible to everyone" -> "to make public transportation accessible to all"
Explanation: "Means of transport" is less commonly used; "transportation" is more direct and formal. "Everyone" is informal; "all" is preferred in formal writing.
"can hope to reduce traffic problems" -> "may help reduce traffic issues"
Explanation: "Can hope to" is less assertive and less formal; "may help" is more appropriate for expressing potential outcomes in academic writing. "Problems" is less specific than "issues," which is more commonly used in formal discussions of policy and governance.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by presenting a clear opinion on the proposed solution of increasing fuel costs. The writer acknowledges the potential benefits of this approach but argues for more comprehensive solutions, thus addressing both sides of the argument. The introduction sets the stage well, and the body paragraphs explore the implications of fuel price hikes while also suggesting alternative measures, such as developing eco-friendly vehicles and improving public transport.
- How to improve: To further enhance this aspect, the writer could explicitly outline the specific environmental problems being addressed, such as air pollution and greenhouse gas emissions, in the introduction. Additionally, a more direct comparison of the effectiveness of the proposed solutions could strengthen the argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that while increasing fuel costs may have some benefits, it is not the most effective solution. This stance is consistently reflected throughout the essay, particularly in the concluding remarks, which reinforce the writer’s belief in alternative solutions. The use of phrases like "I would argue" and "I am convinced" effectively signals the writer’s viewpoint.
- How to improve: To ensure even greater clarity, the writer could use transitional phrases that reiterate their position at the beginning of each body paragraph. This would help to remind the reader of the main argument as they progress through the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a range of ideas related to the environmental issue and supports them with relevant examples. For instance, the mention of Tesla as a leader in sustainable energy provides a concrete example of innovation in the automotive industry. The discussion of public transport improvements is also well-supported by the suggestion of government subsidies and infrastructure investment.
- How to improve: To further develop ideas, the writer could include more statistical data or studies to support claims about the effectiveness of eco-friendly vehicles or the impact of public transport on reducing emissions. This would add depth to the argument and enhance its persuasive quality.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, discussing the implications of increasing fuel costs and alternative solutions without straying into unrelated areas. Each paragraph contributes to the overall argument, maintaining relevance to the prompt.
- How to improve: While the essay is generally on topic, the writer should ensure that every point made directly ties back to the central question of whether increasing fuel costs is the best solution. Occasionally reiterating the connection between the discussion points and the prompt can reinforce the essay’s focus.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a well-reasoned argument. With some minor adjustments to enhance clarity and support for ideas, it could potentially achieve an even higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the issue and the writer’s stance. Each paragraph develops a specific point related to the argument, transitioning smoothly from the introduction to the body paragraphs. For instance, the first body paragraph discusses the argument for increasing fuel prices, while the second body paragraph counters this by suggesting alternative solutions. This logical progression helps the reader follow the writer’s reasoning effectively.
- How to improve: To enhance the logical flow further, the writer could consider using more explicit linking phrases at the beginning of each paragraph to signal the transition between ideas. For example, phrases like "On the other hand," or "Conversely," could be used to introduce the counterargument more clearly, reinforcing the contrast between the two perspectives.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a single aspect of the argument. The introduction sets the stage, the body paragraphs explore different viewpoints, and the conclusion summarizes the discussion. This clear paragraphing aids readability and comprehension. The writer has also ensured that each paragraph contains a topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea, which is a strength.
- How to improve: While the paragraphing is generally effective, the writer could enhance the clarity of each paragraph by ensuring that each one begins with a strong topic sentence that not only states the main idea but also connects back to the thesis. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph has a concluding sentence that ties back to the overall argument could reinforce coherence.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "however," "in addition," and "moreover," which help to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. These devices contribute to the overall coherence of the essay, guiding the reader through the argument. The use of specific examples, such as mentioning Tesla, also serves as an effective cohesive element that illustrates the points made.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer could incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, using alternatives to "however," such as "nevertheless" or "on the contrary," could enhance variety. Additionally, employing more complex cohesive devices, such as referencing back to previously mentioned ideas (e.g., "As previously discussed…"), could further strengthen the connections between points and improve the overall cohesion of the essay.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, achieving a band score of 8. By focusing on enhancing logical transitions, reinforcing paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices, the writer can further elevate the clarity and effectiveness of their argument.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "proliferation," "escalating," "mitigate," and "holistic approaches" effectively conveying complex ideas. The use of phrases like "optimal method" and "tax hikes" also reflects a good command of topic-specific vocabulary. However, there are instances where vocabulary could be more varied. For example, the phrase "environmental problem" is repeated multiple times; synonyms or paraphrasing could enhance lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should aim to incorporate a broader range of synonyms and expressions related to environmental issues. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "environmental problem," alternatives such as "ecological crisis," "environmental challenge," or "sustainability issue" could be employed. Additionally, using more varied adjectives and adverbs would enrich the vocabulary further.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, with terms like "incentivize," "alleviate," and "sustainable development" being appropriately applied. However, there are moments where the precision of vocabulary could be improved. For instance, the phrase "the increase in travel expenses can incentivize more individuals" could be more precise by specifying what kind of individuals (e.g., commuters, environmentally conscious individuals).
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should consider the context in which vocabulary is used and ensure that it accurately reflects the intended meaning. For example, instead of saying "people still have no choice but to rely on private vehicles," the writer could specify "many residents in underdeveloped areas" to clarify the subject. Additionally, using more specific terms related to the topic can help convey ideas more clearly.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors present. Words such as "environment," "transportation," and "congestion" are spelled correctly throughout the text, contributing to the overall clarity and professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: While spelling is accurate, the writer should continue to practice and review spelling rules, especially for less common or technical vocabulary. Engaging in regular reading and writing exercises can help reinforce correct spelling habits. Additionally, using tools like spell checkers or proofreading can further ensure that spelling remains accurate in future essays.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of lexical resource, achieving a band score of 7. By focusing on expanding vocabulary range, enhancing precision, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can work towards achieving an even higher score in this criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, complex sentences such as "While this may work to some extent, I would argue that there exist more holistic approaches to cope with the environmental problem" effectively convey nuanced ideas. Additionally, the use of conditional structures, as seen in "if the public transport systems… are not well-equipped," adds depth to the argument. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, particularly in the second paragraph, where similar sentence beginnings (e.g., "The key rationale is that…") could be varied for greater impact.
- How to improve: To enhance the diversity of sentence structures, consider incorporating more varied sentence openings and lengths. For example, instead of starting consecutive sentences with "The key rationale is that…" and "In addition," try using introductory phrases or clauses that can lead into the main idea, such as "One significant reason for this is…" or "Furthermore, it is important to note that…". This will create a more engaging flow and reduce monotony.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors. For instance, the phrase "the optimal method to address this global issue is to raise petrol prices" is correctly structured, and punctuation is generally well-handled, with appropriate use of commas to separate clauses. However, there is a slight awkwardness in phrases like "the increase in travel expenses can incentivize more individuals to switch to public transportation," where the word "can" could be replaced with "may" for a more formal tone. Additionally, the phrase "the fact that Tesla company is accelerating the world’s transition" could be improved for clarity by rephrasing it to "the fact that the Tesla company is accelerating…"
- How to improve: To further improve grammatical accuracy, focus on refining word choices for formality and clarity. Reviewing the essay for instances where informal language could be replaced with more precise vocabulary will enhance the overall quality. Additionally, practicing punctuation rules, especially regarding complex sentences, can help ensure that all clauses are correctly punctuated, thereby improving readability.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy. By focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision, the writer can aim for an even higher level of proficiency.

Bài sửa mẫu

In light of the proliferation of private vehicles and the escalating emissions contributing to environmental degradation, it is widely acknowledged that the most effective method to address this global issue is to raise petrol prices. While this may work to a certain extent, I would argue that there are more holistic approaches to cope with the environmental problem.

Some people posit that implementing a significant increase in fuel prices is the most effective way to mitigate air pollution resulting from exhaust fumes. The key rationale is that fuel tax increases may limit the number and length of car journeys to compensate for extra expenses, which would reduce the use of private cars and consequently lower greenhouse gas emissions. In addition, the rise in travel expenses can encourage more individuals to switch to public transportation, which is often less costly and can alleviate traffic congestion. However, this line of reasoning is not entirely sound, as in many underdeveloped areas where public transport systems such as buses, subways, trains, or ferries are not adequately equipped, individuals are still compelled to rely on private vehicles to travel and transport goods from one place to another.

To address the environmental issue more effectively, some long-term transport policies can be adopted. Automakers should develop eco-friendly vehicles powered by solar energy or hydrogen. The fact that Tesla is accelerating the world’s transition to sustainable energy with electric cars, solar, and integrated renewable energy solutions can not only minimize negative ecological impacts but also ensure the sustainability of the automobile industry. Moreover, to make public transportation accessible to all, governments should subsidize the cost of fares and invest in public infrastructure, including underground tunnels, bus stops, and train stations. By doing this, they can hope to reduce traffic issues and improve the deteriorating air quality.