It is said that single parent can raise their children just as well as two parents. While others believe that having one parent may affect children because kids raised by single parents may be more likely to have certain psychological and developmental problems. Give reasons for your answer.
It is said that single parent can raise their children just as well as two parents. While others believe that having one parent may affect children because kids raised by single parents may be more likely to have certain psychological and developmental problems. Give reasons for your answer.
In today’s society, nursing children has become an essential part of the rising debate in the present world, including in Vietnam. While many people assume that single parent can raise their children as well as two parent, other people debated whether can having one parent may negative affect children. Personally, I strongly agree with this point of view. This essay will provide some reasons and relevant example to support my arguments.
First and foremost, it should be recognized that one parent has less time to take care of children because they are busy with work. This mean that leading to children have certain psychological and developmental problems. For example, in any period development, children have different psychological problem, if parent do not spend time to raise children, they may be stressed and depressed.
Another interesting point is that one parent may not enough money for their life. This is because while two parents can earn money together, single parent only earn money alone, which makes children have poor living condition. For instance, children do not receive high quality food, clothing, school supplies, that may affect their healthy and development.
To conclude, there is no denying that both opinions are well-grounded. In my point of view, I argued that children who are raised by one parent can have negative impact on their children such as psychological and development problems.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"nursing children" -> "raising children"
Explanation: "Nursing" is typically used to describe the act of caring for the sick or injured, not the act of raising children. "Raising" is the correct term for the care and upbringing of children, aligning with the context of the essay. -
"single parent can raise their children as well as two parent" -> "a single parent can raise their children as effectively as two parents"
Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect and awkward. The revised version corrects the grammar and clarifies the comparison, emphasizing the effectiveness of single parenting. -
"can having one parent may negative affect children" -> "having one parent may negatively affect children"
Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect and awkward. The revision corrects the verb tense and adverb placement, improving readability and grammatical accuracy. -
"Personally, I strongly agree with this point of view." -> "I strongly concur with this perspective."
Explanation: "Personally" is somewhat informal for academic writing. "Concur" is a more formal synonym for "agree," and "perspective" is a more precise term than "point of view" in academic contexts. -
"First and foremost" -> "Firstly"
Explanation: "First and foremost" is a bit informal and redundant in academic writing. "Firstly" is a more concise and formal transitional phrase. -
"This mean that leading to" -> "This means that leading to"
Explanation: "This mean" is grammatically incorrect. "This means" corrects the verb agreement and maintains formal tone. -
"children have certain psychological and developmental problems" -> "children may experience certain psychological and developmental issues"
Explanation: "Have" is too definitive and lacks nuance. "May experience" introduces a more tentative and academically appropriate tone, and "issues" is a more precise term than "problems" in this context. -
"if parent do not spend time to raise children" -> "if parents do not spend time raising their children"
Explanation: "Parent" should be plural to match the subject, and "raising" is a gerund form that is more appropriate in this context. -
"one parent may not enough money for their life" -> "a single parent may not have sufficient funds for their livelihood"
Explanation: "Not enough money" is informal and vague. "Not have sufficient funds" is more precise and formal, and "livelihood" is a more academic term than "life." -
"which makes children have poor living condition" -> "which results in children experiencing poor living conditions"
Explanation: "Makes children have poor living condition" is awkward and grammatically incorrect. "Results in children experiencing poor living conditions" corrects these issues and enhances formality. -
"children do not receive high quality food, clothing, school supplies" -> "children may not receive high-quality food, clothing, and school supplies"
Explanation: "Do not receive" is too absolute and informal. "May not receive" introduces a more tentative and academically appropriate tone, and "high-quality" should be hyphenated for correctness. -
"that may affect their healthy and development" -> "that may affect their health and development"
Explanation: "Healthy" should be "health" for grammatical correctness, and "development" should be pluralized to match the plural subject "children."
These changes enhance the formal tone, improve grammatical accuracy, and clarify the meaning of the essay, making it more suitable for an academic context.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5
Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by presenting both sides of the argument regarding single parenting. However, it primarily focuses on the negative aspects of single parenting without adequately exploring the potential strengths or benefits, which is a crucial part of the question. The mention of the opposing viewpoint is minimal and lacks depth, which weakens the overall response. For instance, while the essay states that "many people assume that single parent can raise their children as well as two parent," it does not provide any reasons or examples to support this perspective.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should ensure that both sides of the argument are explored in more detail. This could involve presenting specific examples or studies that highlight the positive outcomes of children raised by single parents, as well as a more balanced discussion of the challenges they face. Including a counterargument would demonstrate a more comprehensive understanding of the topic.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay does present a clear position, stating a preference for the view that single parenting can negatively affect children. However, the clarity of this position is somewhat undermined by the lack of consistent support throughout the essay. The introduction mentions a strong agreement with the negative impact of single parenting, but the conclusion reverts to a more ambiguous statement about both opinions being "well-grounded," which dilutes the initial stance.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the writer should consistently reinforce their viewpoint throughout the essay. This can be achieved by reiterating the main argument in the conclusion without introducing ambiguity. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph directly supports the main thesis will help maintain clarity.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents some ideas regarding the challenges faced by children of single parents, such as time constraints and financial issues. However, these ideas are not well-developed or supported with sufficient evidence. For example, the claim that children may experience psychological problems lacks specific examples or research to substantiate it. The essay also fails to extend these ideas into broader implications or alternative perspectives.
- How to improve: To enhance the development and support of ideas, the writer should include specific examples, statistics, or studies that illustrate the points being made. Additionally, expanding on each idea with further explanation or analysis would provide a more robust argument. For instance, discussing how financial instability can lead to specific developmental issues would strengthen the argument.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the effects of single parenting. However, there are moments where the discussion becomes vague or strays slightly from the core argument. For instance, the phrase "nursing children has become an essential part of the rising debate" is somewhat unclear and does not directly relate to the prompt.
- How to improve: To improve focus, the writer should ensure that each sentence contributes directly to the argument being made. Avoiding vague statements and ensuring that all points are clearly tied back to the prompt will help maintain relevance. It may also be beneficial to outline the main points before writing to ensure a coherent flow of ideas.
Overall, to achieve a higher band score, the writer should aim for a more balanced exploration of the topic, provide clearer and more consistent arguments, support ideas with specific evidence, and maintain a strong focus on the prompt throughout the essay.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear stance on the issue, asserting that single parents may negatively affect their children. However, the organization of ideas could be improved. The introduction sets the stage but lacks clarity in the thesis statement, which could confuse readers about the main argument. The body paragraphs present points related to psychological issues and financial constraints, but the transition between these ideas is somewhat abrupt. For instance, the shift from discussing psychological problems to financial issues lacks a clear linking sentence that would help guide the reader through the argument.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, the writer should ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea. Additionally, using transitional phrases (e.g., "Furthermore," "In addition," "On the other hand") can help to create smoother transitions between points and reinforce the relationship between ideas.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs, but their structure could be more effective. The first body paragraph discusses psychological issues, while the second addresses financial problems. However, the paragraphs are not well-developed; they lack sufficient detail and examples to fully support the claims made. For example, the first paragraph mentions "psychological problems" but does not specify what these problems are or provide concrete examples beyond general statements.
- How to improve: Each paragraph should contain a clear main idea supported by specific examples and explanations. The writer could benefit from expanding each point with more detailed evidence or case studies that illustrate the claims. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph is focused on a single idea will help improve clarity and coherence.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some use of cohesive devices, such as "for example" and "this means," but the range is limited. The use of cohesive devices is crucial for guiding the reader through the argument and linking ideas effectively. Some sentences are awkwardly constructed, which can disrupt the flow of reading. For instance, the phrase "which makes children have poor living condition" is grammatically incorrect and could be rephrased for clarity.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer should incorporate a variety of linking words and phrases (e.g., "however," "consequently," "as a result") to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. Additionally, reviewing sentence structures for grammatical accuracy will enhance overall coherence. Practicing the use of cohesive devices in different contexts can also help the writer become more comfortable with their application.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a clear argument, improvements in organization, paragraph development, and the use of cohesive devices will enhance coherence and cohesion. Focusing on these areas will help the writer achieve a higher band score in future essays.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, with some effective word choices such as "essential," "debate," and "psychological problems." However, there are instances of repetition and limited variation in word choice. For example, the phrase "one parent" is used frequently without synonyms or alternative expressions, which could enhance the essay’s lexical diversity. Additionally, terms like "negative affect" could be more effectively expressed as "negatively affect" to improve fluency.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and varied expressions. For instance, instead of repeating "one parent," alternatives like "single caregiver" or "sole parent" could be used. Furthermore, expanding the vocabulary related to child development and psychological issues would enrich the essay. Engaging with a thesaurus or vocabulary exercises focused on academic writing could be beneficial.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that detract from clarity. For example, the phrase "can having one parent may negative affect children" is grammatically incorrect and confusing. The intended meaning is obscured by the incorrect structure and word choice. Additionally, the term "leading to children have certain psychological and developmental problems" is awkward and lacks clarity.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on grammatical accuracy and clarity in expression. Phrasing such as "having one parent may negatively affect children" would be more precise. It is also advisable to practice sentence structure and grammar to ensure that ideas are conveyed clearly and accurately. Reading well-structured essays can provide models for precise vocabulary usage.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors that impact the overall impression of the writing. For example, "two parent" should be "two parents," and "healthy" should be "health." These errors suggest a lack of attention to detail and can distract the reader from the content of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular proofreading practices. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help identify errors. Additionally, keeping a personal list of commonly misspelled words and practicing them can be effective. Consistent practice with spelling exercises will also contribute to improved accuracy over time.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the topic and presents some relevant arguments, there is significant room for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these areas, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future writing tasks.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures. Most sentences follow a simple or compound structure, with few complex sentences. For example, the sentence "This mean that leading to children have certain psychological and developmental problems" lacks complexity and clarity. The use of phrases like "this is because" and "for instance" indicates an attempt to connect ideas, but the overall variety is insufficient to showcase a broader grammatical range.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses. For instance, instead of saying "This mean that leading to children have certain psychological and developmental problems," the writer could say, "This means that children may experience certain psychological and developmental problems due to a lack of parental attention." Practicing the use of relative clauses, conditional sentences, and varied sentence beginnings can also help diversify the writing style.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its clarity. For example, "single parent can raise their children as well as two parent" should be "single parents can raise their children as well as two parents." Additionally, the phrase "can having one parent may negative affect children" is grammatically incorrect; it should be "having one parent may negatively affect children." Punctuation errors, such as missing commas and incorrect use of conjunctions, further complicate the readability of the essay.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement, verb forms, and the correct use of adverbs. Reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing with exercises focused on common errors can be beneficial. Furthermore, proofreading the essay for punctuation errors, such as ensuring that commas are used to separate clauses appropriately, will enhance overall clarity. Reading more academic essays can also help the writer internalize correct grammar and punctuation usage.
By addressing these areas, the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in the Grammatical Range and Accuracy criteria.
Bài sửa mẫu
In today’s society, raising children has become an essential part of the ongoing debate, including in Vietnam. While many people assume that a single parent can raise their children as effectively as two parents, others argue that having one parent may negatively affect children. Personally, I strongly concur with this perspective. This essay will provide some reasons and relevant examples to support my arguments.
Firstly, it should be recognized that a single parent often has less time to care for their children because they are busy with work. This means that children may experience certain psychological and developmental issues. For example, during various stages of development, children face different psychological challenges. If parents do not spend adequate time raising their children, they may become stressed and depressed.
Another important point is that a single parent may not have sufficient funds for their livelihood. This is because, while two parents can earn money together, a single parent must earn money alone, which can lead to poor living conditions for the children. For instance, children may not receive high-quality food, clothing, and school supplies, which can negatively affect their health and development.
To conclude, there is no denying that both opinions are well-grounded. In my view, I argue that children raised by a single parent may face negative impacts, such as psychological and developmental problems.