A lot of people have become dependent on technology as it plays a big role in our daily lives. Do you agree that living in computer age has more advantages than disadvantages? Describe the positive and negative impacts of technology on our lives and give your opinion.

The ubiquitous nature of technology in modern life has led to a debate about its overall impact. While concerns about dependence on technology are valid, the advantages it offers far outweigh the disadvantages.
One potential drawback of our reliance on technology is the erosion of traditional skills and activities. The automation of tasks, for instance, could lead to a decline in manual labor and a more sedentary lifestyle. Additionally, the ease with which personal information can be accessed online raises concerns about privacy and security. Cybercrime, as exemplified by the case of Truong My Lan, highlights the potential for exploiting vulnerabilities in digital systems for financial gain.
However, these concerns are often outweighed by the immense benefits that technology provides. In the realm of healthcare, for example, advanced medical imaging and surgical techniques have revolutionized treatment options, leading to improved outcomes and increased life expectancy. Moreover, technology has democratized access to information and education, enabling individuals to learn from anywhere in the world. The internet has also fostered global connectivity, facilitating communication and collaboration across borders.
In conclusion, while technology presents certain challenges, its transformative potential for improving healthcare, education, and communication makes it an indispensable tool for progress. By promoting responsible use and addressing potential risks, we can harness the power of technology to create a more informed, connected, and healthier world.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"ubiquitous nature" -> "widespread presence"
Explanation: "Widespread presence" is a more precise and formal term that effectively conveys the pervasiveness of technology in modern life without the slightly poetic connotation of "ubiquitous nature."
"valid" -> "well-founded"
Explanation: "Well-founded" is a more academically precise term that implies a stronger basis for the concerns discussed, enhancing the formal tone of the argument.
"advantages it offers" -> "benefits it provides"
Explanation: "Benefits it provides" is a more formal and precise phrase, suitable for academic writing, compared to the more casual "advantages it offers."
"erosion of traditional skills and activities" -> "decline of traditional skills and practices"
Explanation: "Decline of traditional skills and practices" is a more specific and formal way to describe the loss of traditional skills and activities, aligning better with academic style.
"automation of tasks" -> "mechanization of tasks"
Explanation: "Mechanization" is a more precise term in the context of technology, specifically referring to the use of machines to perform tasks, which is more accurate than the broader term "automation."
"more sedentary lifestyle" -> "increased sedentary lifestyle"
Explanation: "Increased sedentary lifestyle" is a more precise and formal way to describe the impact of technology on physical activity, emphasizing the quantitative aspect of the change.
"raises concerns about privacy and security" -> "gives rise to concerns about privacy and security"
Explanation: "Gives rise to" is a more formal expression that enhances the academic tone, suggesting a causative relationship between the ease of access and the concerns.
"Cybercrime, as exemplified by the case of Truong My Lan" -> "Cybercrime, exemplified by the case of Truong My Lan"
Explanation: Removing "as" before "exemplified" corrects the grammatical structure, making the sentence more concise and formal.
"exploiting vulnerabilities" -> "exploiting vulnerabilities in"
Explanation: Adding "in" after "vulnerabilities" clarifies the location of the exploitation, enhancing the precision of the statement.
"democratized access to information and education" -> "expanded access to information and education"
Explanation: "Expanded" is a more precise term that accurately describes the increased availability and accessibility of information and education facilitated by technology.
"facilitating communication and collaboration" -> "enhancing communication and collaboration"
Explanation: "Enhancing" is a more specific and academically appropriate term than "facilitating," which is somewhat vague and less formal.
"transformative potential" -> "transformative capabilities"
Explanation: "Capabilities" is a more specific term that better describes the abilities or functions of technology, aligning with the formal academic style.
"indispensable tool for progress" -> "essential tool for advancement"
Explanation: "Essential tool for advancement" uses more formal vocabulary and a more precise term ("advancement") that is commonly used in academic discourse.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of technology. However, it does not fully explore the specific impacts of technology on daily life as requested in the prompt. For instance, while it mentions the erosion of traditional skills and the benefits in healthcare, it lacks a thorough examination of how technology affects other aspects of daily life, such as social interactions or work environments. The response could benefit from a more balanced discussion that includes a wider range of examples.
- How to improve: To comprehensively address all elements of the question, the writer should ensure that each part of the prompt is explicitly covered. This can be achieved by creating a structured outline that includes specific examples of both positive and negative impacts on daily life, such as the influence of technology on relationships, education, and employment.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position that the advantages of technology outweigh its disadvantages. However, this position is somewhat undermined by the lack of depth in discussing the disadvantages. The mention of concerns like privacy and erosion of skills is brief and does not sufficiently counterbalance the positive aspects discussed. This could lead to confusion about the writer’s overall stance.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer should ensure that both sides of the argument are presented in a balanced manner. This can be done by dedicating equal attention to the discussion of disadvantages and advantages, perhaps by using a point-counterpoint structure that allows for a more nuanced exploration of the topic.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as the benefits of technology in healthcare and education, but these points are not fully extended or supported with detailed examples or evidence. For instance, while the mention of advanced medical imaging is relevant, it lacks specific examples or statistics that could strengthen the argument. Additionally, the discussion of cybercrime is vague and does not provide sufficient context or detail to illustrate the point effectively.
- How to improve: To effectively present, elaborate, and substantiate ideas, the writer should include more specific examples, statistics, or case studies that support their claims. This could involve providing concrete instances of technological advancements in healthcare or education, as well as detailed examples of negative impacts, such as specific cases of cybercrime or studies on the effects of technology on social skills.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing technology’s impacts. However, some points, such as the brief mention of Truong My Lan, are not clearly connected to the main argument and may distract from the overall focus. The essay could benefit from a more cohesive narrative that ties all points back to the central question of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance to the topic, the writer should ensure that every example and argument directly relates to the main thesis. This can be achieved by revisiting the prompt throughout the writing process and ensuring that each paragraph contributes to answering the question. Additionally, the writer should avoid introducing examples that do not clearly support their argument or provide necessary context.

In summary, to improve the essay and achieve a higher band score, the writer should aim to more comprehensively address all parts of the prompt, maintain a clear and consistent position, provide more detailed support for their ideas, and ensure that all content remains relevant to the topic.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is well-organized, presenting a clear argument that acknowledges both the advantages and disadvantages of technology. The introduction sets the stage effectively, stating the debate and the author’s position. The body paragraphs are structured to first discuss the drawbacks of technology, followed by a comprehensive examination of its benefits. This logical progression helps the reader follow the argument easily. For instance, the transition from discussing the erosion of traditional skills to the benefits in healthcare is smooth and maintains a coherent flow.
- How to improve: To enhance the logical flow further, consider using more explicit linking phrases between the drawbacks and advantages. For example, after discussing the drawbacks, a transitional sentence like "Despite these challenges, the benefits of technology are profound and far-reaching" could strengthen the connection between the two sections.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The first paragraph addresses the drawbacks, while the second focuses on the advantages, and the conclusion summarizes the overall argument. This clear paragraphing aids in readability and comprehension.
- How to improve: While the paragraphing is generally effective, consider adding a topic sentence at the beginning of each paragraph to clearly outline the main idea. For instance, starting the paragraph discussing drawbacks with a sentence like "One significant disadvantage of technology is its impact on traditional skills" would provide a clearer roadmap for the reader.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "however," "moreover," and "additionally," which help to connect ideas and indicate contrast or addition. These devices contribute to the overall coherence of the essay, making it easier for the reader to follow the argument. The use of examples, such as the case of Truong My Lan, also serves as an effective cohesive element that illustrates the point being made.
- How to improve: To further diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases. For example, using phrases like "on the other hand" or "in contrast" when discussing the advantages could enhance the clarity of the argument. Additionally, varying sentence structures can also improve the flow; for instance, combining shorter sentences into more complex ones can create a more sophisticated narrative.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, effectively presenting a balanced view on the impact of technology. By implementing the suggested improvements, the clarity and sophistication of the argument can be further enhanced, potentially raising the score in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 8

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, employing terms such as "ubiquitous," "erosion," "automation," "democratized," and "transformative." These words effectively convey complex ideas and enhance the overall quality of the writing. The use of phrases like "immense benefits" and "indispensable tool" showcases the writer’s ability to articulate nuanced opinions about technology’s impact.
- How to improve: To further enhance the range of vocabulary, the writer could incorporate more varied synonyms or expressions related to the same concepts. For instance, instead of repeating "technology" multiple times, alternatives like "digital advancements" or "technological innovations" could be used. Additionally, including idiomatic expressions or collocations related to technology could enrich the essay’s lexical variety.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary with precision, particularly in terms like "cybercrime" and "privacy and security," which accurately reflect the context of the discussion. However, the phrase "exploiting vulnerabilities in digital systems for financial gain" could be seen as slightly vague; while it conveys the idea of cybercrime, it could be more specific about the types of vulnerabilities or methods used.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should aim to clarify and specify terms where possible. For example, instead of saying "exploiting vulnerabilities," they could specify "phishing attacks" or "malware exploitation," which would provide clearer imagery and understanding for the reader. This specificity would enhance the overall clarity and impact of the argument.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors. Words such as "ubiquitous," "automation," "democratized," and "transformative" are spelled correctly, reflecting a strong command of written English.
- How to improve: While spelling is already strong, the writer can further ensure accuracy by proofreading for any potential typographical errors or by using spell-check tools during the writing process. Additionally, expanding their vocabulary through reading can help reinforce correct spelling in context, which is beneficial for future writing tasks.

Overall, the essay effectively meets the criteria for Lexical Resource at a Band 8 level, showcasing a wide range of vocabulary, precise usage, and correct spelling. By incorporating more varied expressions, enhancing specificity in vocabulary, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can continue to refine their lexical resource skills for even higher scores in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, complex sentences such as "While concerns about dependence on technology are valid, the advantages it offers far outweigh the disadvantages" effectively convey nuanced ideas. Additionally, the use of conditional clauses, as seen in "By promoting responsible use and addressing potential risks, we can harness the power of technology," showcases an ability to express hypothetical scenarios. However, the essay could benefit from more varied sentence openings and the incorporation of some compound-complex sentences to further enhance the range.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer could experiment with starting sentences in different ways, such as using adverbial phrases or questions. For example, beginning a sentence with "Despite the drawbacks…" or "In light of these benefits…" can add variety. Additionally, incorporating more compound-complex sentences would enrich the essay’s complexity. Practicing sentence combining exercises can help in achieving this goal.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors that do not impede understanding. For example, the phrase "the erosion of traditional skills and activities" is grammatically correct and effectively conveys the intended meaning. Punctuation is also used correctly, with commas appropriately placed to separate clauses and items in a list. However, there is a slight inconsistency in the use of commas before conjunctions in complex sentences, which could be refined for greater clarity.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should review the rules regarding comma usage, particularly in complex sentences. For instance, ensuring that commas are consistently used before conjunctions in compound sentences can improve clarity. Additionally, proofreading for any overlooked minor errors or awkward phrasing can further enhance the overall quality. Engaging in targeted grammar exercises focusing on common pitfalls can also be beneficial.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and effectively communicates the writer’s ideas, achieving a strong band score of 8 in Grammatical Range and Accuracy. By focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision, the writer can aim for an even higher level of proficiency in future essays.

Bài sửa mẫu

The widespread presence of technology in modern life has sparked a debate about its overall impact. While concerns regarding dependence on technology are well-founded, the advantages it offers far outweigh the disadvantages.

One potential drawback of our reliance on technology is the decline of traditional skills and practices. The mechanization of tasks, for instance, could lead to a reduction in manual labor and an increased sedentary lifestyle. Additionally, the ease with which personal information can be accessed online gives rise to concerns about privacy and security. Cybercrime, exemplified by the case of Truong My Lan, highlights the potential for exploiting vulnerabilities in digital systems for financial gain.

However, these concerns are often overshadowed by the immense benefits that technology provides. In the realm of healthcare, for example, advanced medical imaging and surgical techniques have revolutionized treatment options, leading to improved outcomes and increased life expectancy. Moreover, technology has expanded access to information and education, enabling individuals to learn from anywhere in the world. The internet has also enhanced communication and collaboration across borders, fostering global connectivity.

In conclusion, while technology presents certain challenges, its transformative capabilities for improving healthcare, education, and communication make it an essential tool for advancement. By promoting responsible use and addressing potential risks, we can harness the power of technology to create a more informed, connected, and healthier world.