Although more and more people read the news on the Internet, newspapers will remain the most important source of news for the majority of people. Do you agree or disagree?

Some individuals believe that despite the spreading popularity on social media, traditional newspapers still play a vital role among numerous readers. While I accept that this perception is somewhat justifiable, I suppose that the Internet is increasingly dominant because of its benefits.
On the one hand, reading traditional paper is advantageous to a certain extent. Firstly, reading the press would provide readers with a sense of trust and credibility. They are more inclined to look for credible sources of news compared to online content, which could be riddled with misinformation, as a result, they tend to update their information from paper. Furthermore, newspapers often provide in-depth analysis and coverage of news stories about several world problems. These news which are provided by formal press would be more comprehensive than what is available on quick news websites or social media.
On the other hand, there are a host of compelling reasons as to why I am convinced that social media will replace the press in the near future. The first thing that attracts people to read online sources is their ease of access. Citizens are able to update news via smartphones and computers, making it more convenient for them compared to waiting for a daily newspaper. According to a national survey conducted by the General Statistics Office of Vietnam, the analysts estimated that more than 80% of people in the country use smart devices to update the latest news every day and with just one click, they could know an overview of what happened that day. Moreover, the Internet offers a wide range of new sources and perspectives. Readers have the opportunity to choose articles according to their interests such as newspapers about economics, politics, science, and so on, and discuss them together.
In conclusion, it is irrefutable that paper articles are a crucial source of information. Nevertheless, I firmly believe that some people might prioritize the immediacy and variety offered by digital news platforms.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Some individuals believe" -> "Some people believe"
Explanation: "Individuals" is often used in more formal or technical contexts, whereas "people" is more commonly used in everyday and academic writing, making it more suitable for this context.
"spreading popularity" -> "growing popularity"
Explanation: "Spreading popularity" is an awkward and unclear phrase. "Growing popularity" is more natural and precise, indicating an increase in usage or recognition.
"I suppose" -> "I argue"
Explanation: "I suppose" can imply a lack of conviction or uncertainty, which is not suitable for academic writing. "I argue" asserts a position and is more appropriate for presenting a formal opinion.
"reading traditional paper" -> "reading traditional newspapers"
Explanation: "Traditional paper" is vague and imprecise. "Traditional newspapers" clearly specifies the subject being discussed.
"would provide readers with a sense of trust and credibility" -> "confer a sense of trust and credibility on readers"
Explanation: "Confer" is a more formal verb that accurately describes the action of providing or bestowing, enhancing the academic tone.
"They are more inclined to look for credible sources" -> "They tend to seek credible sources"
Explanation: "Tend to seek" is a more formal and precise way to express habitual behavior in academic writing.
"could be riddled with misinformation" -> "may contain misinformation"
Explanation: "Could be riddled with" is colloquial and slightly informal. "May contain" is more precise and appropriate for academic writing.
"as a result, they tend to update their information from paper" -> "therefore, they often obtain their information from newspapers"
Explanation: "As a result" is informal and vague; "therefore" is more formal. "Obtain their information" is clearer and more specific than "update their information."
"These news which are provided by formal press" -> "These news provided by formal presses"
Explanation: "These news which are" is grammatically awkward and verbose. "These news provided by formal presses" is grammatically correct and more concise.
"quick news websites" -> "rapid news websites"
Explanation: "Quick" is informal and less precise; "rapid" is more formal and suitable for academic contexts.
"The first thing that attracts people to read online sources" -> "The primary reason people are drawn to online sources"
Explanation: "The first thing that attracts" is informal and vague. "The primary reason people are drawn to" is more formal and precise.
"with just one click" -> "with a single click"
Explanation: "Just" is informal and can be seen as colloquial. "Single" is more formal and fits better in academic writing.
"and discuss them together" -> "and engage in discussions about them"
Explanation: "Discuss them together" is informal and lacks specificity. "Engage in discussions about them" is more formal and clearly describes the action.
"it is irrefutable that paper articles are a crucial source of information" -> "it is undeniable that printed articles are a vital source of information"
Explanation: "Irrefutable" is slightly informal and can imply a level of certainty that is not always warranted in academic writing. "Undeniable" is more appropriate, and "printed articles" is more precise than "paper articles."
"some people might prioritize" -> "some individuals may prioritize"
Explanation: "Some people" is informal and less specific; "some individuals" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing. "May" is also more formal than "might" in this context.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by presenting both sides of the argument regarding the relevance of newspapers versus online news sources. The introduction acknowledges the traditional role of newspapers while also stating the writer’s position that the Internet is becoming more dominant. The body paragraphs explore the advantages of both mediums, with the first paragraph focusing on the credibility and depth of newspapers, and the second on the convenience and variety of online news. However, while the essay discusses both perspectives, it could benefit from a more explicit acknowledgment of the opposing viewpoint in the conclusion.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer could more clearly articulate the implications of the argument in the conclusion, perhaps by summarizing the key points made for both sides. Additionally, explicitly stating that the writer disagrees with the notion that newspapers will remain the most important source could strengthen the overall response.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that the Internet is increasingly dominant over traditional newspapers. This stance is consistently supported throughout the essay, particularly in the second body paragraph, where the writer lists specific advantages of online news. However, the phrase "I accept that this perception is somewhat justifiable" in the introduction could create ambiguity about the writer’s position, as it suggests some level of agreement with the opposing view.
- How to improve: To improve clarity, the writer should consider rephrasing the introduction to assert their position more definitively. For instance, stating outright that they disagree with the idea that newspapers will remain the most important source of news would eliminate any potential confusion about their stance.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents and supports ideas effectively, particularly in the body paragraphs. The writer provides specific examples, such as the convenience of accessing news online and the credibility of newspapers, which help to substantiate their claims. The use of a statistic from a national survey adds credibility to the argument for online news. However, the analysis of the advantages of newspapers could be further extended with more specific examples or data to enhance the argument.
- How to improve: To strengthen the support for ideas, the writer could include additional examples or statistics that highlight the credibility of newspapers, such as referencing studies that show public trust in traditional media. This would provide a more balanced view and reinforce the argument for newspapers.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains largely on topic, discussing the relevance of newspapers in the context of the rise of online news. The writer does not deviate from the prompt and maintains focus throughout the essay. However, there are moments where the discussion could be more tightly aligned with the prompt, particularly in ensuring that both sides are given equal weight.
- How to improve: To maintain a stronger focus on the topic, the writer should ensure that each point made directly relates back to the central question of whether newspapers will remain the most important source of news. This could involve explicitly connecting the advantages of newspapers and online news back to the prompt in each paragraph, reinforcing the relevance of each point made.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction effectively outlines the writer’s stance, while the body paragraphs are dedicated to contrasting viewpoints. The first body paragraph discusses the advantages of traditional newspapers, while the second highlights the benefits of online news. This organization allows the reader to follow the argument easily. However, the transition between the two paragraphs could be smoother, as the shift from discussing traditional newspapers to social media feels somewhat abrupt.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases at the beginning of the second body paragraph, such as "Conversely" or "In contrast," to signal the shift in perspective. Additionally, ensuring that each point within the paragraphs builds on the previous one can create a more cohesive argument.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is crucial for clarity. Each paragraph has a clear main idea, supported by relevant details. However, the first body paragraph could benefit from more distinct topic sentences that clearly outline the main point of each supporting detail. For instance, the mention of trust and credibility could be introduced with a more explicit topic sentence that encapsulates this idea.
- How to improve: Strengthen the topic sentences of each paragraph to clearly state the main idea. For example, in the first body paragraph, a sentence like "One significant advantage of traditional newspapers is their ability to foster trust and credibility among readers" would provide a clearer focus. Additionally, consider using sub-points within paragraphs to further organize supporting details.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "Furthermore," and "Moreover," which help to connect ideas within paragraphs. However, the range of cohesive devices could be expanded. For instance, while the essay uses some basic connectors, it lacks more varied devices that could enhance the flow between sentences and ideas. The use of pronouns and synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned concepts is somewhat limited, which can lead to repetition.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "In addition," "On the contrary," or "As a result." Additionally, use pronouns effectively to avoid redundancy. For example, instead of repeating "newspapers," you could use "they" or "these sources" in subsequent mentions. This not only improves cohesion but also makes the writing more engaging.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion, implementing these suggestions could elevate the clarity and effectiveness of the argument, potentially leading to a higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, utilizing terms such as "credibility," "in-depth analysis," "compelling reasons," and "immediacy." These choices reflect an ability to convey nuanced meanings and engage with the topic effectively. However, there are instances where the vocabulary could be more varied. For example, the phrase "the Internet is increasingly dominant" could be enhanced with synonyms like "prevailing" or "predominant" to avoid repetition and enrich the language.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should actively seek synonyms and related terms. Using a thesaurus can help identify alternative expressions. Additionally, incorporating idiomatic phrases or collocations related to news consumption could further elevate the lexical quality of the essay.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary with a good degree of precision. For instance, the term "misinformation" accurately conveys the idea of false information prevalent online. However, there are moments of imprecision, such as "these news which are provided by formal press," where "news" should be "news articles" or "news reports" for clarity. Additionally, the phrase "the first thing that attracts people" could be more formally expressed as "the primary factor that attracts individuals."
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on the context in which words are used. Reviewing sentences for clarity and ensuring that nouns and adjectives align correctly can help. Practicing writing with a focus on formal language can also aid in achieving greater precision.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of spelling accuracy, with only minor issues. Words like "credibility," "convenient," and "comprehensive" are spelled correctly, indicating a strong grasp of standard English spelling conventions. However, the phrase "these news which are provided" contains an awkward construction that may confuse readers, although it is not a spelling error per se.
- How to improve: To further enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular reading and writing practice. Utilizing spell-check tools and proofreading essays before submission can help catch any overlooked errors. Additionally, focusing on commonly misspelled words in English can reinforce spelling skills.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of lexical resource, achieving a Band 7 score. By expanding vocabulary range, enhancing precision, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can aim for an even higher score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the use of phrases like "On the one hand" and "On the other hand" effectively organizes the argument and transitions between contrasting points. Additionally, the sentence "According to a national survey conducted by the General Statistics Office of Vietnam, the analysts estimated that more than 80% of people in the country use smart devices to update the latest news every day" showcases a complex structure with embedded clauses, which adds depth to the argument.
- How to improve: To further enhance the range of structures, consider incorporating more varied introductory phrases and clauses to begin sentences. For example, starting with adverbial clauses (e.g., "Although many people prefer digital news, traditional newspapers still hold value") can add complexity. Additionally, using passive voice in some instances could diversify the sentence structure (e.g., "News articles are often scrutinized for their credibility").
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a high level of grammatical accuracy, with few errors. However, there are minor issues that detract from the overall quality. For instance, in the phrase "as a result, they tend to update their information from paper," the comma placement is incorrect, as it separates two independent clauses without a coordinating conjunction. Furthermore, the phrase "These news which are provided by formal press" should be revised to "This news, which is provided by the formal press," to correct the subject-verb agreement and improve clarity.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, pay attention to subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Regularly reviewing grammar rules related to complex sentences and punctuation can also be beneficial. Practicing sentence combining exercises can help reinforce the correct use of commas and conjunctions. Additionally, proofreading the essay for common errors before submission can help catch these minor mistakes.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and presents a clear argument, but attention to detail in grammatical accuracy and further diversification of sentence structures could elevate it to an even higher level.

Bài sửa mẫu

Some individuals believe that despite the growing popularity of social media, traditional newspapers still play a vital role among numerous readers. While I accept that this perception is somewhat justifiable, I argue that the Internet is increasingly dominant due to its numerous benefits.

On the one hand, reading traditional newspapers is advantageous to a certain extent. Firstly, reading the press confers a sense of trust and credibility on readers. They are more inclined to seek credible sources of news compared to online content, which may contain misinformation; therefore, they often obtain their information from newspapers. Furthermore, newspapers often provide in-depth analysis and coverage of news stories regarding various global issues. These news articles provided by formal presses tend to be more comprehensive than what is available on rapid news websites or social media.

On the other hand, there are several compelling reasons why I am convinced that social media will replace traditional newspapers in the near future. The primary reason people are drawn to online sources is their ease of access. Citizens can update themselves on the news via smartphones and computers, making it more convenient for them compared to waiting for a daily newspaper. According to a national survey conducted by the General Statistics Office of Vietnam, analysts estimated that more than 80% of people in the country use smart devices to access the latest news every day, and with a single click, they can gain an overview of what happened that day. Moreover, the Internet offers a wide range of news sources and perspectives. Readers have the opportunity to choose articles according to their interests, such as those related to economics, politics, science, and more, and engage in discussions about them.

In conclusion, it is undeniable that printed articles are a vital source of information. Nevertheless, I firmly believe that some individuals may prioritize the immediacy and variety offered by digital news platforms.