Some people suggest that the government should spend money putting more works of art like paintings an statues into towns and cities to make them attractive places. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer.

The ongoing debate over government funding for public art, such as paintings and statues to beautify towns and cities, has valid arguments on both sides. While I recognize the potential benefits of public art, I believe it must be carefully balanced against more pressing needs that many communities are facing
On the one hand, public art can offer significant advantages to urban areas. It can enhance a city's visual appeal, making it more attractive to both residents and visitors. Cities renowned for their vibrant art scenes, like Paris and Barcelona, often attract millions of tourists annually, boosting the local economy. Additionally, public art can serve as a symbol of a city's cultural heritage, instilling pride and a sense of identity in its residents. Iconic murals, sculptures, and monuments can contribute to a city's distinct character
On the other hand, while art can elevate a city's charm, it should not take precedence over more critical issues. Many urban centers are grappling with insufficient infrastructure, a lack of affordable housing, and underfunded public services like healthcare and education. In such cases, directing funds towards art may be seen as an inefficient use of resources, as not everyone may directly benefit, especially those focused on more fundamental needs and quality of life
In conclusion, while I support the idea that public art can enhance the appeal of towns and cities, I believe it should be a secondary consideration. Meeting essential community needs should take priority, with public art being part of a broader, balanced approach to improving urban environments

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The ongoing debate" -> "The ongoing controversy"
Explanation: "Controversy" is a more precise term that conveys the disagreement and debate surrounding the issue, enhancing the academic tone of the essay.
"has valid arguments on both sides" -> "presents compelling arguments on both sides"
Explanation: "Compelling" is a more formal and academically appropriate adjective than "valid," which can be seen as somewhat vague and informal in this context.
"I recognize" -> "I acknowledge"
Explanation: "Acknowledge" is a more formal verb that is commonly used in academic writing to express recognition of facts or opinions, fitting the formal tone better than "recognize."
"must be carefully balanced" -> "requires careful consideration"
Explanation: "Requires careful consideration" is a more formal and precise way to express the need for thoughtful evaluation, aligning better with academic style.
"more pressing needs" -> "more urgent needs"
Explanation: "Urgent" is a more specific term that conveys a sense of immediate importance, which is more precise in this context than "pressing," which can be somewhat vague.
"making it more attractive" -> "enhancing its aesthetic appeal"
Explanation: "Enhancing its aesthetic appeal" is a more formal and precise way to describe the improvement in attractiveness, fitting the academic style better.
"often attract millions of tourists annually" -> "regularly attract millions of tourists annually"
Explanation: "Regularly" is a more precise adverb than "often," providing a clearer frequency of occurrence, which is important in academic descriptions.
"making it more attractive" -> "enhancing its appeal"
Explanation: "Enhancing its appeal" is a more formal and succinct way to describe the improvement in attractiveness, avoiding redundancy.
"Iconic murals, sculptures, and monuments" -> "iconic murals, sculptures, and monuments"
Explanation: This is a minor correction to maintain parallel structure and enhance readability by avoiding the unnecessary comma after "monuments."
"can elevate a city’s charm" -> "can enhance a city’s aesthetic appeal"
Explanation: "Enhance a city’s aesthetic appeal" is a more formal and precise phrase than "elevate a city’s charm," which is somewhat colloquial.
"directing funds towards art" -> "allocating funds to art"
Explanation: "Allocating" is a more formal term than "directing," which is typically used in more specific contexts, such as military or organizational management.
"may be seen as an inefficient use of resources" -> "may be perceived as an inefficient allocation of resources"
Explanation: "Perceived as an inefficient allocation of resources" uses more formal vocabulary and is more specific, enhancing the academic tone.
"especially those focused on more fundamental needs and quality of life" -> "particularly those prioritizing fundamental needs and quality of life"
Explanation: "Prioritizing" is a more precise verb than "focused on," which is less formal and less specific in this context, improving the academic tone.
"part of a broader, balanced approach" -> "component of a comprehensive, balanced strategy"
Explanation: "Component of a comprehensive, balanced strategy" uses more formal vocabulary and emphasizes the strategic nature of the approach, fitting the academic style better.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by acknowledging both sides of the argument regarding government spending on public art. The introduction clearly states the writer’s position, indicating a balanced view. The discussion includes the benefits of public art, such as enhancing visual appeal and cultural identity, as well as the counterargument about prioritizing more pressing community needs. However, the essay could have more explicitly stated the extent of agreement or disagreement, which is crucial for fully answering the prompt.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should explicitly state the extent of their agreement or disagreement in the introduction and conclusion. For example, a clearer indication of whether they lean more towards supporting public art or prioritizing other needs would strengthen the argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that supports public art but emphasizes the need for balance with other community needs. This dual perspective is presented consistently throughout the essay. However, the position could be more assertively articulated, especially in the conclusion, where a more definitive stance could reinforce the argument.
- How to improve: The writer should ensure that their position is unequivocal, particularly in the conclusion. Phrasing such as "I firmly believe that…" or "In my view, the government should prioritize…" would help convey a stronger stance.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas related to public art and its benefits, such as economic boosts from tourism and cultural pride. These ideas are supported with examples of cities known for their art scenes. However, the counterargument about pressing community needs could benefit from more specific examples or data to strengthen the argument against prioritizing art funding.
- How to improve: To improve the support for ideas, the writer should incorporate specific examples or statistics regarding the impact of public art on tourism or the consequences of neglecting infrastructure and services. This would provide a more robust foundation for both sides of the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the implications of government spending on public art versus other community needs. However, there are moments where the discussion could be more tightly focused. For instance, while the mention of cultural heritage is relevant, it could be tied back more explicitly to the main argument about funding priorities.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each point made directly relates back to the prompt. Using topic sentences that clearly link back to the main argument can help keep the discussion on track. Additionally, avoiding tangential points about art’s cultural significance unless directly tied to funding priorities would enhance coherence.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a balanced view, refining the clarity of the position, strengthening the support for ideas, and ensuring tighter focus on the prompt will elevate the score further.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and the writer’s stance. Each body paragraph effectively addresses a distinct aspect of the argument: the benefits of public art in the first paragraph and the counter-argument regarding pressing community needs in the second. This logical progression allows the reader to follow the writer’s reasoning easily. For instance, the transition from discussing the advantages of public art to the necessity of addressing more urgent issues is smooth and well-articulated.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using more explicit transitional phrases between ideas and paragraphs. For example, phrases like "In addition to these benefits," or "Conversely," can help signal shifts in argument more clearly. Additionally, reinforcing the connection between the points made in each paragraph and the overall thesis can further strengthen the logical organization.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively utilizes paragraphs to separate different ideas, with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph is focused on a single main idea, which is essential for clarity. The first body paragraph discusses the positive aspects of public art, while the second addresses the potential drawbacks, demonstrating a balanced approach to the topic.
- How to improve: To improve paragraph effectiveness, consider adding topic sentences that clearly state the main idea of each paragraph. For example, starting the second body paragraph with a sentence like, "Despite the benefits of public art, there are more pressing issues that demand government attention," would provide a clear framework for the reader. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph has a concluding sentence that ties back to the thesis can reinforce coherence.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand," "On the other hand," and "In conclusion," which effectively guide the reader through the argument. These devices contribute to the overall coherence of the essay by linking ideas and signaling the relationship between them. The use of examples, such as referencing cities like Paris and Barcelona, also enhances cohesion by providing concrete illustrations of abstract points.
- How to improve: To diversify and strengthen the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, using "Furthermore," or "Moreover," to introduce additional points in the first body paragraph could add depth. Additionally, employing phrases like "This illustrates that…" or "Consequently," can help clarify the implications of the arguments presented, making the connections between ideas even more explicit.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, effectively organizing information and using paragraphs and cohesive devices to support the argument. With minor adjustments in transitional phrases, topic sentences, and the variety of cohesive devices, the essay could further enhance its clarity and flow.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. Phrases such as "urban areas," "visual appeal," "cultural heritage," and "distinct character" showcase the writer’s ability to use varied vocabulary effectively. However, there are instances where the vocabulary could be more diverse. For example, the repeated use of "public art" could be varied with synonyms like "community art" or "civic art" to enhance lexical variety.
- How to improve: To improve this aspect, the writer should aim to incorporate synonyms and related terms throughout the essay. For instance, instead of repeatedly stating "public art," consider using "art installations" or "cultural displays" in different sections to avoid redundancy and enrich the vocabulary.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are moments where the precision could be enhanced. For example, the phrase "insufficient infrastructure" is appropriate, but terms like "dilapidated" or "outdated" could provide a clearer picture of the issue. Additionally, the phrase "inefficient use of resources" could be more precise with alternatives like "misallocation of funds," which conveys a stronger critique.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should consider the nuances of word choices. Engaging with a thesaurus to find more specific terms or phrases that convey the intended meaning more accurately can be beneficial. Practicing writing with a focus on context-specific vocabulary will also help in this area.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors. This reflects a strong command of spelling conventions, which is crucial for effective communication. Words such as "attractive," "community," and "infrastructure" are spelled correctly, contributing to the overall clarity of the essay.
- How to improve: To maintain and further improve spelling accuracy, the writer should continue to proofread their work carefully. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help catch any potential mistakes. Additionally, practicing spelling through writing exercises or quizzes can reinforce correct spelling habits.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of lexical resource, achieving a Band 7 score. By focusing on expanding vocabulary range, enhancing precision in word choice, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can work towards achieving an even higher score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, complex sentences such as "While I recognize the potential benefits of public art, I believe it must be carefully balanced against more pressing needs that many communities are facing" effectively convey nuanced ideas. Additionally, the use of conditional structures, as seen in "while art can elevate a city’s charm," adds depth to the argument. However, there are instances of simpler sentence constructions that could be enhanced, such as "public art can offer significant advantages to urban areas," which could be rephrased to incorporate more complexity.
- How to improve: To further diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more compound-complex sentences and varying the placement of clauses. For example, instead of starting with "public art can offer significant advantages," you might begin with a dependent clause: "Given the potential advantages of public art, urban areas might find it beneficial to invest in such initiatives." This approach not only varies the structure but also engages the reader more effectively.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits strong grammatical accuracy, with correct subject-verb agreement and appropriate use of tenses. For example, the phrase "Cities renowned for their vibrant art scenes, like Paris and Barcelona, often attract millions of tourists annually" is grammatically sound. However, there are minor punctuation issues, such as the lack of a comma before "and" in lists, which can enhance clarity. For instance, in the list "insufficient infrastructure, a lack of affordable housing, and underfunded public services," the comma before "and" (Oxford comma) could be included for consistency and clarity.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy and punctuation skills, focus on reviewing punctuation rules, particularly for lists and complex sentences. Regular practice with exercises that emphasize the use of commas, especially in compound and complex sentences, can be beneficial. Additionally, proofreading the essay for any overlooked errors can help ensure that all grammatical structures are used correctly.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a high level of grammatical range and accuracy, meriting a Band Score of 8. By incorporating more complex sentence structures and refining punctuation usage, the essay could reach an even higher standard.

Bài sửa mẫu

The ongoing controversy over government funding for public art, such as paintings and statues, to beautify towns and cities presents compelling arguments on both sides. While I acknowledge the potential benefits of public art, I believe it must be carefully balanced against the more pressing needs that many communities are facing.

On the one hand, public art can offer significant advantages to urban areas. It can enhance a city’s visual appeal, making it more attractive to both residents and visitors. Cities renowned for their vibrant art scenes, like Paris and Barcelona, often attract millions of tourists annually, thereby boosting the local economy. Additionally, public art can serve as a symbol of a city’s cultural heritage, instilling pride and a sense of identity in its residents. Iconic murals, sculptures, and monuments can contribute to a city’s distinct character.

On the other hand, while art can elevate a city’s charm, it should not take precedence over more critical issues. Many urban centers are grappling with insufficient infrastructure, a lack of affordable housing, and underfunded public services such as healthcare and education. In such cases, directing funds towards art may be seen as an inefficient use of resources, as not everyone may directly benefit, especially those focused on more fundamental needs and quality of life.

In conclusion, while I support the idea that public art can enhance the appeal of towns and cities, I believe it should be a secondary consideration. Meeting essential community needs should take priority, with public art being part of a broader, balanced approach to improving urban environments.