The map below shows a plan of a city in 1950 and at the present. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The map shows how the city was developed in its size to accommodate more residents from 1950 and up to now.

The map illustrates a plan of how the city was developed in 1950 compared to the current map now.
It can be seen that there are huge differences between 2 maps. For example, the residential area has the biggest changes in the current time than in 1950.
Firstly, both the Business district and Residential area have expanded a lot since 1950. Nevertheless, the map has dug a lake in the middle from West to East to divide both of them into 2 separate lands and at the end of the lake they build up a dam to prevent the water from leaking. Because of that, they have added some more bridges and Major roads for better transport. Secondly, the airport has expanded much bigger than in 1950 in order for planes to have more space to land. Lastly, there were only 1 government building in the past but now there are two of them in both the Business district and Residential area.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The map shows how the city was developed in its size to accommodate more residents from 1950 and up to now." -> "The map illustrates the expansion of the city in terms of size to accommodate an increasing population from 1950 to the present."
Explanation: The revised sentence is more precise and formal, using "illustrates" instead of "shows" and "expansion" to describe the change in size, which is more specific and academically appropriate.
"It can be seen that there are huge differences between 2 maps." -> "It is evident that there are significant differences between the two maps."
Explanation: Replacing "huge" with "significant" refines the language to be more formal and precise, and "the two maps" is grammatically correct compared to "2 maps."
"the residential area has the biggest changes in the current time than in 1950." -> "the residential area has undergone the most significant changes in the current era compared to 1950."
Explanation: "Undergone the most significant changes" is more precise and formal than "has the biggest changes," and "current era" is a more academic term than "current time."
"Nevertheless, the map has dug a lake in the middle from West to East to divide both of them into 2 separate lands and at the end of the lake they build up a dam to prevent the water from leaking." -> "Notwithstanding, the map depicts the creation of a lake in the central region, separating the Business and Residential areas, with a dam constructed at the lake’s terminus to prevent water leakage."
Explanation: "Depicts the creation of a lake" is more formal than "the map has dug a lake," and "central region" is more precise than "middle." Additionally, "separating the Business and Residential areas" clarifies the purpose of the lake, and "constructed at the lake’s terminus" is more specific than "at the end of the lake."
"Because of that, they have added some more bridges and Major roads for better transport." -> "Consequently, additional bridges and major roads have been constructed to enhance transportation."
Explanation: "Consequently" is a more formal transition than "Because of that," and "additional bridges and major roads have been constructed" is more precise and formal than "they have added some more bridges and Major roads."
"the airport has expanded much bigger than in 1950" -> "the airport has expanded significantly larger than in 1950"
Explanation: "Significantly larger" is more precise and formal than "much bigger," aligning better with academic style.
"in order for planes to have more space to land" -> "to provide additional space for aircraft landing"
Explanation: "To provide additional space for aircraft landing" is more formal and precise, avoiding the colloquial "to have more space to land."
"there were only 1 government building in the past but now there are two of them in both the Business district and Residential area." -> "there was only one government building in the past, but now there are two, one in the Business district and one in the Residential area."
Explanation: "There was only one government building" corrects the singular verb form, and "one in the Business district and one in the Residential area" clarifies the location of the additional government building.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5

Explanation: The essay attempts to address the task by providing a general overview of the changes in the city. However, the essay does not provide a clear overview of the main trends or differences. The essay also focuses on details rather than key features. For example, the essay mentions that the airport has expanded, but it does not provide any specific details about the expansion.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the main trends and differences. The essay could also be improved by focusing on key features rather than details. For example, the essay could mention that the residential area has expanded significantly, and it could provide specific details about the expansion, such as the number of new houses that have been built. The essay could also be improved by using more precise language. For example, instead of saying that the airport has expanded, the essay could say that the airport has doubled in size.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, but there is a lack of overall progression. While it attempts to compare the maps from 1950 and the present, the connections between ideas could be clearer. The use of cohesive devices is inadequate and at times inaccurate, leading to confusion. For example, phrases like "Nevertheless" and "Because of that" are used, but their application does not effectively link the ideas. Additionally, the paragraphing is not well-structured, as the ideas are not distinctly separated, making it difficult to follow the progression of thought.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on clearly organizing the information into distinct paragraphs, each with a central topic. Using a wider range of cohesive devices accurately will help to create logical connections between sentences and ideas. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear progression of thought will improve the overall clarity of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary that is minimally adequate for the task. While it attempts to describe the changes in the city, the vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, particularly in phrases like "expanded a lot" and "huge differences." There are noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as "the map has dug a lake," which is awkward and unclear. Additionally, there are some spelling and grammatical issues that may cause difficulty for the reader, such as "at the end of the lake they build up a dam," which should be in the past tense to maintain consistency. Overall, the lexical resource is insufficient for a higher band score.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource, the writer should aim to use a wider variety of vocabulary and more precise terms to describe changes. Incorporating less common lexical items and ensuring correct collocation would improve clarity. Additionally, paying attention to grammatical consistency and avoiding repetitive phrases will strengthen the overall quality of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, primarily relying on simple sentences. While there are attempts at complex sentences, they often lack accuracy, leading to grammatical errors that can hinder understanding. For instance, phrases like "the map has dug a lake" and "they build up a dam" exhibit incorrect verb forms and tense usage. Additionally, the use of conjunctions and transitional phrases is minimal, which affects the overall coherence of the writing. Errors in punctuation also occur, such as missing commas, which can cause some difficulty for the reader.

How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on incorporating a wider variety of sentence structures, including more complex and compound sentences. Practicing the correct use of verb tenses and ensuring subject-verb agreement will also be beneficial. Furthermore, increasing the use of cohesive devices and transitional phrases can improve the flow of ideas, making the essay clearer and more coherent. Regular grammar exercises and seeking feedback on writing can help address these issues effectively.

Bài sửa mẫu

The map illustrates the development of the city from 1950 to the present day.

It can be observed that there are significant differences between the two maps. For instance, the residential area has undergone the most considerable changes in the current time compared to 1950.

Firstly, both the business district and residential area have expanded significantly since 1950. However, a lake has been created in the middle of the city, stretching from west to east, which divides these two areas into separate zones. At the end of the lake, a dam has been constructed to prevent water leakage. As a result, additional bridges and major roads have been added to improve transportation. Secondly, the airport has also expanded considerably compared to 1950, providing more space for planes to land. Lastly, there was only one government building in the past, but now there are two, located in both the business district and the residential area.