Government should spend tax money on public libraries rather than public transportation improvements. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement.

Government should spend tax money on public

libraries rather than public transportation improvements. To what extent

do you agree or disagree with the statement.

The government should focus on funding public libraries instead of enhancing transportation infrastructure. This essay will explore the agree and disagree aspects of the government should spend tax money on public libraries rather than public transportation. For my perspective, enhance in both of these areas is quite important because they belong to different categories of value.

On the one hand, there are numerous statements of agreement to spend tax money on public libraries. Firstly, one major agree focus on funding public libraries is the preservation of culture and history, libraries are repositories of local history, culture, and knowledge. For example, libraries are local archive of important historical documents, photographs, and records that are vital to maintaining a community's heritage. Secondly, libraries are also a place for community and cultural hub, libraries serve as community spaces where people can gather, attend workshops, and participate in cultural events. For example, in universities in Vietnam, the library is a place students hold events and workshop.

On the other hand, there are various statements of agreement to spend tax money on public transportation. One of which is that economic growth, investing in public transportation can stimulate local economies by facilitating easier access to jobs and services.For example, traffic jams in HCM city have decreased slightly when the government spend more tax money on public transportation. Furthemore, focusing on funding public transportation can attract businesses from foreign countries and increasing real estate values. For instance, there are many businesses had invested to VietNam such as Google, intel, and Nvidia.

In conclusion, there are many statements of the government spend tax money on public libraries for the preservation of culture and the place for community and cultural hub. However, numerous statements of the government focus on funding public transportation as economic growth

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "The government should focus on funding public libraries instead of enhancing transportation infrastructure." -> "The government should prioritize funding public libraries over enhancing transportation infrastructure."
   Explanation: The phrase "prioritize" is more precise and formal than "focus on," and "over" is more appropriate than "instead of" in this context, indicating a comparison between two alternatives.

2. "This essay will explore the agree and disagree aspects" -> "This essay will examine both the agree and disagree aspects"
   Explanation: "Examine" is more academically appropriate than "explore," and the phrase "both the agree and disagree aspects" should be rephrased to "both the agreeable and disagreeable aspects" for clarity and formality.

3. "For my perspective" -> "From my perspective"
   Explanation: "From my perspective" is the correct idiomatic expression, whereas "For my perspective" is grammatically incorrect.

4. "enhance in both of these areas is quite important" -> "enhancing both areas is crucial"
   Explanation: "Enhancing" is the correct verb form, and "crucial" is more formal and precise than "quite important."

5. "one major agree focus on funding public libraries" -> "one major argument in favor of funding public libraries"
   Explanation: "Argument" is the correct term for a point of view in formal writing, and "in favor of" is more precise than "agree focus on."

6. "libraries are repositories of local history, culture, and knowledge" -> "libraries serve as repositories of local history, culture, and knowledge"
   Explanation: "Serve as" is more formal and accurate than "are," which is too vague in this context.

7. "libraries are local archive of important historical documents" -> "libraries serve as local archives of important historical documents"
   Explanation: "Serve as" and "archives" are the correct forms, and "local" should be "local" to agree with "archives."

8. "libraries serve as community spaces where people can gather, attend workshops, and participate in cultural events" -> "libraries function as community spaces where individuals can gather, attend workshops, and participate in cultural events"
   Explanation: "Function as" is more formal than "serve as," and "individuals" is more precise than "people."

9. "traffic jams in HCM city have decreased slightly when the government spend more tax money on public transportation" -> "traffic congestion in HCM City has decreased slightly since the government has invested more in public transportation"
   Explanation: "Congestion" is more specific than "jams," and "has invested" is grammatically correct. "City" should be capitalized as it is a proper noun, and "since" is more appropriate than "when" for indicating a cause-and-effect relationship.

10. "Furthemore" -> "Furthermore"
    Explanation: "Furthermore" is the correct spelling, not "Furthemore."

11. "increasing real estate values" -> "enhancing real estate values"
    Explanation: "Enhancing" is a more precise and formal term than "increasing" in this context.

12. "there are many businesses had invested to VietNam" -> "many businesses have invested in Vietnam"
    Explanation: "Have invested" corrects the tense error, and "in" is the correct preposition for indicating investment in a country. "VietNam" should be "Vietnam" without the hyphen.

13. "there are many statements of the government spend tax money on public libraries" -> "there are numerous arguments in favor of the government allocating funds to public libraries"
    Explanation: "Arguments in favor of" is more precise and formal than "statements of," and "allocating funds" is more specific than "spend tax money."

These changes enhance the formality, precision, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address both sides of the argument regarding government spending on public libraries versus public transportation. However, it lacks a clear stance on the extent of agreement or disagreement with the statement. The introduction suggests a balanced view but fails to explicitly state the writer’s position, which is crucial for a Task 2 essay. The body paragraphs present points for both sides but do not adequately weigh them against each other or connect them back to the prompt.
  • How to improve: To improve, the writer should clearly state their position in the introduction and consistently refer back to it throughout the essay. A more definitive stance (e.g., "I strongly believe that…") would help guide the reader and provide a clearer framework for the discussion.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay lacks a consistent position. While it mentions both libraries and transportation, it does not effectively argue for one over the other. Phrases like “enhance in both of these areas is quite important” create ambiguity about the writer’s true stance. The conclusion reiterates points made earlier without synthesizing them into a clear position.
  • How to improve: The writer should choose a side and maintain that perspective throughout the essay. Using transitional phrases that reinforce their position and summarizing the argument in the conclusion would strengthen the clarity of their stance.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas related to both libraries and transportation but lacks depth in their development. For instance, while the preservation of culture is mentioned, it could benefit from more specific examples or statistics to illustrate its importance. Similarly, the economic arguments for transportation are mentioned but not sufficiently elaborated upon, leaving the reader wanting more substantial evidence.
  • How to improve: To enhance the presentation and support of ideas, the writer should provide more detailed examples and explanations. Incorporating data, studies, or specific case studies would add credibility and depth to the arguments. Additionally, each point should be clearly linked back to the main argument to maintain coherence.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic but occasionally deviates into vague statements that do not directly support the main argument. For example, the mention of businesses investing in Vietnam feels somewhat disconnected from the main discussion about public transportation funding.
  • How to improve: The writer should ensure that every point made directly relates to the prompt. This can be achieved by regularly referencing the prompt in each paragraph and ensuring that all examples and arguments clearly support the chosen position. Keeping a focused outline before writing could help maintain relevance throughout the essay.

Overall, to achieve a higher band score, the writer should clarify their position, provide more detailed support for their ideas, and ensure that all content is directly relevant to the prompt.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both sides of the argument, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition from discussing libraries to transportation lacks a clear connection, making it somewhat abrupt. Additionally, the introduction states that the essay will explore both sides, but the discussion leans more towards libraries without adequately balancing the two perspectives.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clearer topic sentences that outline the main idea of each paragraph. For example, in the introduction, explicitly state that both libraries and transportation will be discussed, and ensure that each body paragraph starts with a strong topic sentence that relates back to the thesis. This will help maintain a coherent flow throughout the essay.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively, with distinct sections for libraries and transportation. However, the paragraph discussing libraries could be more focused. It combines multiple ideas without clear separation, which can confuse the reader. For example, the points about cultural preservation and community hubs are somewhat mixed together.
  • How to improve: To improve paragraph structure, consider separating distinct ideas into their own paragraphs. For instance, one paragraph could focus solely on the cultural significance of libraries, while another could discuss their role as community hubs. This will not only clarify your arguments but also enhance the overall readability of the essay.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "Firstly" and "On the other hand," which help in transitioning between points. However, the range of cohesive devices is limited, and some phrases are used repetitively, which can detract from the overall coherence. For example, the phrase "statements of agreement" appears multiple times without variation, making the writing feel somewhat monotonous.
  • How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, use "In addition," "Conversely," or "Moreover" to introduce new ideas or contrasting points. Additionally, consider using pronouns and synonyms to avoid repetition. For example, instead of repeating "public libraries," you could use "these institutions" or "such facilities" in subsequent mentions.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, potentially leading to an improved band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, with terms such as "repositories," "cultural hub," and "economic growth" indicating some level of sophistication. However, the repetition of phrases like "public libraries" and "public transportation" suggests a limited lexical variety. For instance, the phrase "enhance in both of these areas" could have been expressed with alternatives like "improvements in both sectors" or "advancements in both fields."
  • How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and varied expressions. For example, instead of repeatedly using "public libraries," consider using "community libraries" or "information centers." Additionally, employing more descriptive adjectives and adverbs can enrich the text.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "major agree focus" is awkward and unclear; it would be more effective to say "a major reason for agreement." Similarly, "libraries are local archive" should be "libraries are local archives," as "archive" is incorrectly used in the singular form.
  • How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on grammatical accuracy and the correct form of words. Reviewing sentence structures and ensuring that phrases convey clear meanings will enhance overall clarity. Additionally, using contextually appropriate terms will help convey ideas more effectively.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "enhance" instead of "enhancing," "Furthemore" instead of "Furthermore," and "had invested to VietNam" should be "had invested in Vietnam." These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing.
  • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular spelling practice and utilize tools such as spell checkers. Additionally, reading more extensively can help reinforce correct spelling through exposure to well-written texts. It is also advisable to proofread the essay carefully before submission to catch and correct any spelling mistakes.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates some strengths in vocabulary usage, there are clear areas for improvement in range, precision, and spelling. By focusing on these aspects, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures. For instance, it employs simple sentences such as "The government should focus on funding public libraries" and compound sentences like "libraries serve as community spaces where people can gather, attend workshops, and participate in cultural events." However, the essay lacks more complex structures that could enhance the depth of the argument, such as conditional clauses or varied sentence openings. The use of phrases like "On the one hand" and "On the other hand" indicates an attempt to structure the argument, but the overall variety remains limited.
  • How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses. For example, instead of saying, "libraries are repositories of local history," you could say, "While libraries are repositories of local history, they also serve as vital community hubs." Additionally, varying the sentence beginnings can make the writing more engaging. Try starting sentences with adverbial phrases or prepositional phrases to create a more dynamic flow.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its clarity. For example, the phrase "enhance in both of these areas is quite important" is awkwardly constructed and should be revised to "enhancing both of these areas is quite important." There are also comma splices, such as in "libraries are repositories of local history, culture, and knowledge," where a period or semicolon would be more appropriate to separate independent clauses. Additionally, the phrase "the government should spend tax money on public libraries rather than public transportation improvements" is repeated, which could lead to redundancy.
  • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, it is essential to proofread the essay for common errors such as subject-verb agreement and sentence fragments. For instance, ensure that subjects and verbs agree in number (e.g., "there are many businesses that have invested in Vietnam" instead of "there are many businesses had invested to VietNam"). Additionally, practice using punctuation correctly, particularly with commas and conjunctions, to avoid run-on sentences. A thorough review of grammar rules and targeted practice exercises can help solidify these skills.

Overall, while the essay presents a clear argument, enhancing the variety of sentence structures and improving grammatical accuracy will significantly elevate the writing quality and potentially increase the band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

The government should prioritize funding public libraries over enhancing transportation infrastructure. This essay will examine both the agree and disagree aspects of the statement that the government should spend tax money on public libraries rather than public transportation. From my perspective, enhancing both areas is crucial, as they serve different but equally important purposes.

On the one hand, there are numerous arguments in favor of allocating tax money to public libraries. Firstly, one major argument for funding public libraries is the preservation of culture and history; libraries serve as repositories of local history, culture, and knowledge. For example, libraries act as local archives of important historical documents, photographs, and records that are vital to maintaining a community’s heritage. Secondly, libraries also function as community hubs. They serve as spaces where individuals can gather, attend workshops, and participate in cultural events. For instance, in universities in Vietnam, the library is a place where students hold events and workshops.

On the other hand, there are various arguments supporting the allocation of tax money to public transportation. One significant point is that investing in public transportation can stimulate local economies by facilitating easier access to jobs and services. For example, traffic congestion in HCM City has decreased slightly since the government has invested more in public transportation. Furthermore, enhancing transportation infrastructure can attract businesses from foreign countries and increase real estate values. For instance, many businesses have invested in Vietnam, such as Google, Intel, and Nvidia.

In conclusion, there are many arguments in favor of the government spending tax money on public libraries for the preservation of culture and as a community hub. However, there are also numerous arguments for focusing on funding public transportation to promote economic growth. Ultimately, enhancing both areas is crucial for the overall development of society.