You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets.

Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

You should write at least 250 words.

Nowadays, It is agrued by people that public money should be wasted for many problems on earth while several others want governments pay attention and resource looking for life on other planets. From my stand point, the first statement is more reasonable than the other, and reason for my choice is mentioned in this essay.

There are various reason why the second view may be suitable to some people. The first reason why view 2 is valuable is that low-class people will has a better life. This is because that a large amount of planets's plan moneys will be spend for rebuilding the facilities and supporting the helpness over the world. For example, pay attention and resource to construct more and more hospital and school for low-class people can be access to education and health service more. Another reason why waste public money in many problem on earth is environment benefit. To illustrate this point is that massive amount of fossil fuel is not wasted and human force is not used for planet planning. This is lead to the fact that human force can be used for planting more trees and cleaning the environment, there is no pollution that is released to the environment by rocket.

Although paying attention and resource to many problems on the earth is often praised for earth environment and low-class individuals, it fail to address the critical issue of the human life in the long future, which is effectively tackled by spending money for life on other planets. To begin with, the statement will help people got a new environment and habitat and the future that do not depend on earth. This is attributed the result that earth plant will be destroyed by the sun spreading and human's era will be death. So to preparing the negative effection from the disease, government should spend money looking for a new life on other planets that help human era. For example, when new planet is tackled, humans are moved to new planet that a fresh air quality and dectect a low-class people in society.

In conclusion, although prioritizing work-class people and earth environment is crucial, future human era should not be overlook. This is because that spending money looking for life on other planets are essential for human life which direct benefits for human societies

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "Nowadays, It is agrued" -> "Currently, it is argued"
   Explanation: Correcting the typo "agrued" to "argued" and replacing "Nowadays" with "Currently" enhances the formal tone and corrects the grammatical error.

2. "public money should be wasted for many problems on earth" -> "public funds should be allocated to address various global issues"
   Explanation: Replacing "wasted" with "allocated" corrects the misuse of "wasted" which implies unnecessary expenditure, and "various global issues" is more precise and formal than "many problems on earth".

3. "governments pay attention and resource looking for life on other planets" -> "governments allocate resources to search for life on other planets"
   Explanation: "Pay attention and resource" is awkward and incorrect; "allocate resources to search for" is grammatically correct and more formal.

4. "From my stand point" -> "From my perspective"
   Explanation: "Stand point" is a common error; "perspective" is the correct term for expressing personal viewpoint in formal writing.

5. "reason why view 2 is valuable is that low-class people will has a better life" -> "reason why view 2 is advantageous is that it could improve the lives of low-income individuals"
   Explanation: "Will has" is grammatically incorrect; "could improve" is more precise and formal. Also, "low-class people" is less formal and somewhat derogatory; "low-income individuals" is more respectful and appropriate for academic writing.

6. "a large amount of planets’s plan moneys" -> "a significant portion of planetary resources"
   Explanation: "Planets’s plan moneys" is grammatically incorrect and unclear; "a significant portion of planetary resources" is clear and formal.

7. "helpness" -> "health services"
   Explanation: "Helpness" is not a word; "health services" is the correct term.

8. "pay attention and resource to construct more and more hospital and school" -> "allocate resources to construct more hospitals and schools"
   Explanation: "Pay attention and resource" is incorrect; "allocate resources" is the correct phrase for formal writing. Also, "hospital and school" should be pluralized to "hospitals and schools" for grammatical correctness.

9. "can be access to education and health service more" -> "can gain greater access to education and healthcare"
   Explanation: "Can be access to" is grammatically incorrect; "can gain greater access to" is correct and more formal. Also, "health service" should be pluralized to "healthcare" for consistency and formality.

10. "waste public money in many problem on earth" -> "waste public funds on various issues on Earth"
    Explanation: "Waste public money in many problem" is grammatically incorrect and informal; "waste public funds on various issues" is grammatically correct and formal.

11. "massive amount of fossil fuel is not wasted and human force is not used for planet planning" -> "significant amounts of fossil fuels are not wasted and human resources are not utilized for planetary planning"
    Explanation: "Massive amount" is less formal; "significant amounts" is more precise. Also, "human force" is informal; "human resources" is the correct term in formal contexts.

12. "This is lead to the fact that" -> "This leads to the fact that"
    Explanation: "This is lead" is grammatically incorrect; "This leads" is the correct form of the verb.

13. "human force can be used for planting more trees and cleaning the environment" -> "human resources can be utilized for planting more trees and cleaning the environment"
    Explanation: "Human force" is informal; "human resources" is the correct term. Also, "can be used" is less formal; "can be utilized" is more precise and formal.

14. "it fail to address" -> "it fails to address"
    Explanation: "Fail" should be "fails" for subject-verb agreement.

15. "spending money for life on other planets" -> "investing in life on other planets"
    Explanation: "Spending money for" is awkward and informal; "investing in" is more precise and formal.

16. "help human era" -> "benefit humanity"
    Explanation: "Help human era" is unclear and informal; "benefit humanity" is clear and formal.

17. "government should spend money looking for a new life on other planets" -> "governments should allocate funds to search for new life on other planets"
    Explanation: "Should spend money looking for" is informal and awkward; "should allocate funds to search for" is more formal and precise.

18. "a fresh air quality" -> "fresh air quality"
    Explanation: "A fresh air quality" is redundant; "fresh air quality" is the correct phrase.

19. "dectect a low-class people in society" -> "identify low-income individuals in society"
    Explanation: "Dectect" is a typo; "identify" is the correct verb. Also, "low-class people" is less formal and somewhat derogatory; "low-income individuals" is more respectful and appropriate for academic writing.

These changes enhance the formality, clarity, and precision of the essay, aligning it with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to discuss both views regarding government spending on extraterrestrial life versus addressing problems on Earth. However, the treatment of the second view is somewhat superficial and lacks depth. For instance, while the author mentions that money could be spent on hospitals and schools, the argument is not fully developed or supported with sufficient detail. The essay does not adequately explore the reasons behind the first view, which weakens the overall discussion.
  • How to improve: To enhance this aspect, the writer should ensure that both views are explored in equal depth. This can be achieved by providing more detailed examples and elaborating on the implications of each viewpoint. Additionally, addressing counterarguments could strengthen the discussion.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The author states a clear preference for the view that prioritizes addressing problems on Earth. However, the position is not consistently maintained throughout the essay. For example, the transition between discussing the second view and the author’s own opinion is abrupt and lacks coherence. The phrase "this is attributed the result that earth plant will be destroyed" is confusing and detracts from the clarity of the argument.
  • How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the writer should use transitional phrases to guide the reader through the argument. Clearly stating the position in the introduction and reiterating it in the conclusion can also help reinforce the stance taken.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents some ideas, but they are often underdeveloped. For instance, the mention of environmental benefits is vague and lacks specific examples or data to support the claims. The reasoning behind the need for exploring life on other planets is also weakly articulated, with statements like "human’s era will be death" lacking clarity and precision.
  • How to improve: To improve this area, the writer should focus on providing well-structured arguments with clear examples and evidence. Each idea should be elaborated upon, explaining why it is significant and how it relates to the overall argument. Using specific data or real-world examples can enhance the credibility of the claims.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, but there are moments where the focus wavers. For instance, the phrase "this is lead to the fact that human force can be used for planting more trees" seems to stray from the main argument about government spending priorities. Additionally, some sentences are convoluted and make it difficult to follow the main thread of the argument.
  • How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every point made directly relates to the prompt. It may be helpful to outline the main ideas before writing to ensure that each paragraph contributes to the overall argument. Simplifying complex sentences can also help maintain clarity and relevance.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates an understanding of the task, it requires more depth, clarity, and coherence to achieve a higher band score. By addressing these areas, the writer can improve the overall quality of the response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 5

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to present both sides of the argument regarding government spending on extraterrestrial life versus addressing problems on Earth. However, the organization is somewhat disjointed. For instance, the transition between discussing the benefits of focusing on Earth and then shifting to the importance of exploring other planets lacks clarity. The introduction does not effectively outline the structure of the essay, leaving the reader uncertain about the flow of ideas.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, it is advisable to clearly outline the main points in the introduction. For example, explicitly state that the essay will first discuss the arguments for focusing on Earth, followed by those for exploring other planets, and conclude with a personal opinion. Using clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can also help guide the reader through the argument.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains paragraphs, but they are not well-defined or structured. The first paragraph mixes the introduction with the first argument, and subsequent paragraphs do not consistently separate different points or counterarguments. This results in a lack of clarity and makes it difficult for the reader to follow the writer’s line of reasoning.
  • How to improve: Each paragraph should focus on a single idea or argument. Start with a clear topic sentence that states the main point of the paragraph, followed by supporting details. For instance, the paragraph discussing the benefits of spending on Earth should be distinct from the one discussing the exploration of other planets. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph has a logical progression of ideas, concluding with a sentence that summarizes the point made.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay uses some cohesive devices, such as "although" and "for example," but they are limited and sometimes incorrectly applied. For instance, the phrase "this is lead to the fact" is grammatically incorrect and disrupts the flow of the argument. The lack of varied cohesive devices makes the writing feel repetitive and less engaging.
  • How to improve: To improve the use of cohesive devices, the writer should incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more effectively. For example, using "in addition," "furthermore," or "on the other hand" can help clarify relationships between points. Additionally, ensure that cohesive devices are used correctly; for example, "this leads to the fact that" would be a more appropriate phrasing than "this is lead to the fact that."

In summary, while the essay presents relevant arguments, it suffers from issues related to logical organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices. By focusing on clearer organization, distinct paragraphing, and a broader range of cohesive devices, the writer can significantly enhance the coherence and cohesion of their essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, but it often relies on repetitive phrases and lacks variety. For instance, phrases like "pay attention and resource" and "waste public money" are used multiple times without variation. Additionally, terms such as "low-class people" and "many problems on earth" are somewhat simplistic and could be expressed with more sophistication.
  • How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, consider using synonyms and varied expressions. Instead of repeating "low-class people," you might use "underprivileged communities" or "economically disadvantaged individuals." Additionally, explore more advanced vocabulary related to the topic, such as "allocate funds," "invest in," or "prioritize."

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that can lead to confusion. For example, the phrase "public money should be wasted for many problems" is misleading; it would be more accurate to say "public money should be allocated to address many problems." Furthermore, the term "helpness" is incorrect and should be "helpless." The phrase "the statement will help people got a new environment" is also awkward and unclear.
  • How to improve: Focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys your intended meaning. Review the essay for instances where word choice could be improved for clarity. For example, replace "wasted" with "invested" or "utilized," and ensure that verbs are used correctly (e.g., "help people gain a new environment").

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "agrued" (argued), "has" (have), "planets’s" (planet’s), "spend" (spent), "effection" (affection), and "dectect" (detect). These errors detract from the overall quality of the writing and can confuse the reader.
  • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider implementing a proofreading strategy. After writing, take a moment to read through the essay slowly, checking for spelling errors. Additionally, using spell-check tools or writing practice exercises focused on commonly misspelled words can help reinforce correct spelling habits.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the topic and presents arguments, improving vocabulary range, precision, and spelling will enhance the overall quality and clarity of the writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures. For instance, simple sentences like "This is because that a large amount of planets’s plan moneys will be spend for rebuilding the facilities" are prevalent. The use of complex sentences is minimal, and many sentences are awkwardly constructed, which detracts from clarity. Additionally, phrases such as "the first statement is more reasonable than the other" could be expressed in a more varied manner to enhance sophistication.
  • How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should practice combining simple sentences into complex ones. For example, instead of saying "This is because that a large amount of planets’s plan moneys will be spend," the writer could say, "This is due to the fact that a significant portion of funding could be allocated to rebuilding facilities." Incorporating more relative clauses and varied conjunctions would also help in creating more complex structures.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains numerous grammatical errors and punctuation issues. For example, "It is agrued by people" should be "It is argued by people," and "low-class people will has a better life" should be corrected to "low-class people will have a better life." Additionally, punctuation errors such as the incorrect use of commas and the absence of necessary punctuation (e.g., missing periods) disrupt the flow of the essay. The phrase "which is effectively tackled by spending money for life on other planets" is also awkwardly phrased and could be clearer.
  • How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and verb forms. Regular practice with grammar exercises, especially focusing on common errors, would be beneficial. Additionally, reading more academic essays can help the writer become familiar with correct punctuation usage. Proofreading the essay for errors before submission can also significantly improve the overall quality.

In summary, while the essay presents a relevant argument, it suffers from limited grammatical range and accuracy. By diversifying sentence structures and focusing on grammatical correctness, the writer can improve their score in this criterion. Regular practice and revision are key strategies for enhancement.

Bài sửa mẫu

**Improved Essay:**

Nowadays, it is argued by some people that public funds should be allocated to address various problems on Earth, while others believe that governments should focus their attention and resources on searching for life on other planets. From my perspective, the first statement is more reasonable than the latter, and the reasons for my viewpoint are outlined in this essay.

There are various reasons why the second view may appeal to some individuals. The first reason why investing in life on other planets is seen as valuable is that it could improve the lives of low-income individuals. This is because a significant portion of public funds could be spent on rebuilding facilities and supporting those in need around the world. For example, allocating resources to construct more hospitals and schools would enable low-income individuals to gain greater access to education and healthcare services. Another reason why some advocate for spending public money on Earth-related issues is the environmental benefit. To illustrate, significant amounts of fossil fuels would not be wasted, and human resources would not be utilized for planetary exploration. This leads to the fact that human resources can be utilized for planting more trees and cleaning the environment, thereby reducing pollution that is released into the atmosphere by rocket launches.

Although directing resources towards Earth’s problems is often praised for its benefits to the environment and low-income individuals, it fails to address the critical issue of humanity’s long-term survival, which could be effectively tackled by investing in the search for life on other planets. To begin with, this approach could provide humanity with new environments and habitats, reducing our dependence on Earth. This is attributed to the fact that Earth may eventually become uninhabitable due to solar expansion and other catastrophic events. Therefore, to prepare for the negative effects of such changes, governments should allocate funds to search for new life on other planets that could support human existence. For example, if a new planet is discovered, humans could relocate there, benefiting from fresh air quality and the ability to identify low-income individuals in society.

In conclusion, while prioritizing the needs of low-income individuals and addressing environmental issues on Earth is crucial, the future of humanity should not be overlooked. This is because investing in the search for life on other planets is essential for ensuring human survival, which ultimately benefits society as a whole.