For many shopping malls are great places to spend their leisure time and meet others people, however, in the past mostly visited shopping malls when necessary .To what extent do you think this is a negative trend?

In today's world,plazas contribute to creating recreational space for everyone while most people used to visit them only in necessary situations in the past.Thus,this trend is causing negative problems in society.This essay will explore reasons and find out solutions to reduce this problem.

Firstly,in the past,shopping malls were not developed and their infrastructures were still limited,people just went there to buy necessary items or on special occasions.On the contrary,shopping centers have become familiar for everyone with lots of amenities about fashion,supermarkets,coffee shops,restaurants,etc.There are also many activities which suitable with all age groups,becoming idealistic place at weekend.For this result,people alway choose plaza as a place to relax and have fun.On the other hand,this problem leads to conditions about wasting money and following negative trends.For example,women who have a free time,just visit shopping mall and wander around to buy unnecessary things like clothes,cosmetics and anything they like.This overspending lead to debt and financial ability,which makes conflict with family and friends.Moreover,in this day,teenagers have intention of following new trends which allows them waiting in line at hour.It can be a great opportunities for theft,shoplifter,making shopping center unsafe and decreasing reputation.

To cope with this regard,there are several strategies that citizens can deal with them.To begin with,people can go to the park to exercise instead of visiting shopping malls.They also take part in many meaningful experiences with friends,which can leave unforgettable memories such as charity activities,green movements,etc.Moreover,people should only buy necessary things and oppose the unless trend to save money.

In conclusion,spend too much time in the shopping mall is a negative trend these day,but there are still have solutions to reduce it.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"In today’s world,plazas contribute to creating recreational space for everyone while most people used to visit them only in necessary situations in the past." -> "In contemporary society, plazas now serve as recreational spaces for everyone, whereas previously, they were primarily visited for essential purposes."
Explanation: The phrase "In today’s world" is somewhat informal and vague. "Contemporary society" is more precise and formal. The original sentence structure is also awkward; rephrasing it improves clarity and formality.
"This trend is causing negative problems in society." -> "This trend has resulted in various societal issues."
Explanation: "Negative problems" is vague and informal. "Various societal issues" is more specific and academically appropriate.
"shopping malls were not developed and their infrastructures were still limited" -> "shopping malls were underdeveloped and had limited infrastructure"
Explanation: "Underdeveloped" and "had limited infrastructure" are more precise and formal terms than "not developed" and "still limited."
"people just went there to buy necessary items or on special occasions" -> "people primarily visited shopping malls for essential purchases or special events"
Explanation: "Just went there" is informal and vague. "Primarily visited" and "essential purchases or special events" are more formal and specific.
"shopping centers have become familiar for everyone" -> "shopping centers have become accessible to everyone"
Explanation: "Familiar" is not the correct term here; "accessible" accurately describes the increased availability of shopping centers.
"there are also many activities which suitable with all age groups" -> "there are also various activities suitable for all age groups"
Explanation: "Which suitable with" is grammatically incorrect. "Suitable for" is the correct prepositional phrase.
"becoming idealistic place at weekend" -> "becoming an ideal destination on weekends"
Explanation: "Idealistic place" is incorrect; "ideal destination" is the correct term. "At weekend" should be "on weekends" for grammatical correctness.
"people alway choose plaza as a place to relax and have fun" -> "people always choose plazas as a place to relax and have fun"
Explanation: "Alway" is a typographical error; "always" is the correct spelling. "Plaza" should be pluralized to "plazas" as it refers to multiple places.
"conditions about wasting money" -> "issues related to overspending"
Explanation: "Conditions about wasting money" is awkward and informal. "Issues related to overspending" is more precise and formal.
"women who have a free time" -> "women with free time"
Explanation: "Have a free time" is grammatically incorrect. "With free time" is the correct prepositional phrase.
"just visit shopping mall and wander around to buy unnecessary things" -> "simply visit shopping malls and browse to purchase unnecessary items"
Explanation: "Just visit shopping mall" should be "simply visit shopping malls" for grammatical correctness and pluralization. "Wander around" is informal; "browse" is more appropriate in this context.
"overspending lead to debt and financial ability" -> "overspending leads to debt and financial difficulties"
Explanation: "Overspending lead" is grammatically incorrect; "overspending leads" is correct. "Financial ability" is unclear; "financial difficulties" is a more precise term.
"in this day,teenagers have intention of following new trends" -> "in this day, teenagers intend to follow new trends"
Explanation: "Have intention of" is awkward and incorrect. "Intend to follow" is grammatically correct and more formal.
"allows them waiting in line at hour" -> "allows them to wait in line for hours"
Explanation: "Allows them waiting in line at hour" is grammatically incorrect and unclear. "Allows them to wait in line for hours" corrects these issues.
"it can be a great opportunities for theft,shoplifter,making shopping center unsafe" -> "it can create opportunities for theft and shoplifting, thereby making shopping centers unsafe"
Explanation: "Great opportunities for theft,shoplifter,making shopping center unsafe" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. The revised version is clearer and more formal.
"there are still have solutions to reduce it" -> "there are still solutions to address this issue"
Explanation: "There are still have solutions" is grammatically incorrect. "There are still solutions to address this issue" corrects the grammar and enhances formality.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the shift in how shopping malls are perceived and used over time. It acknowledges that shopping malls were previously visited only when necessary and contrasts this with the current trend of frequent visits for leisure. However, the essay could benefit from a more explicit exploration of the extent to which this trend is negative, as the prompt asks for an evaluation of that aspect. The mention of overspending and social issues is relevant but lacks depth in analyzing the consequences.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should clearly define what constitutes a "negative trend" and provide more detailed examples of its impacts on individuals and society. Including statistics or studies could strengthen the argument and provide a more comprehensive view of the issue.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a position that the trend of frequent visits to shopping malls is negative, but this stance is somewhat muddled. While the introduction states that the trend causes negative problems, the essay does not consistently reinforce this viewpoint throughout. For instance, the discussion of alternative activities like visiting parks is a positive suggestion that could be interpreted as a counterpoint to the negative stance.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the writer should consistently link all points back to the central argument. Each paragraph should begin with a topic sentence that reinforces the negative aspects of the trend, followed by supporting details that align with this viewpoint.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as the evolution of shopping malls and the associated social issues. However, some ideas are not fully developed. For example, the discussion about teenagers following trends and the risks of theft is introduced but not elaborated upon. The connection between these points and the overall argument could be stronger.
- How to improve: The writer should aim to elaborate on each idea presented. For example, when discussing overspending, the writer could include more examples of how this affects families or communities. Additionally, providing counterarguments or acknowledging potential benefits of shopping malls before refuting them could create a more balanced and nuanced discussion.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on shopping malls and their role in leisure activities. However, there are moments where the focus shifts, such as when discussing parks and charity activities. While these points are relevant, they could distract from the main argument regarding shopping malls.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that all points directly relate back to the central theme of the negative trend associated with shopping malls. Any mention of alternatives should be framed in a way that highlights their contrast to the negative aspects of frequent mall visits, thereby reinforcing the main argument.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents relevant ideas, it could benefit from clearer organization, deeper analysis, and a more consistent focus on the negative implications of the trend discussed.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction effectively outlines the topic and the stance taken. However, the logical flow between ideas could be improved. For instance, the transition from discussing the past use of shopping malls to the current trends is somewhat abrupt. The essay mentions the negative impacts of excessive mall visits but does not clearly connect these points back to the initial premise of the negative trend.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that directly relate back to the thesis. Additionally, employing transitional phrases such as "In contrast," "Furthermore," or "Consequently" can help guide the reader through the argument more smoothly.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas, which is a strength. Each paragraph addresses a distinct aspect of the argument. However, some paragraphs could be better structured. For example, the second paragraph contains multiple ideas that could be split into two separate paragraphs: one focusing on the evolution of shopping malls and the other on the negative consequences of excessive spending.
- How to improve: Aim for a more uniform structure within paragraphs. Each paragraph should ideally start with a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting details. Consider breaking longer paragraphs into smaller ones to enhance readability and focus on a single idea per paragraph.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "On the contrary," and "Moreover," which help in linking ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and some phrases are used repetitively. For instance, "people" is mentioned frequently without variation, which can disrupt the flow.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, incorporate synonyms and varied phrases to refer to the same subjects (e.g., "individuals," "shoppers," "consumers"). Additionally, consider using more advanced cohesive devices such as "This suggests that," "As a result," or "In light of this" to create more sophisticated connections between ideas.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, ultimately improving the overall clarity and effectiveness of the argument presented.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, with some effective phrases such as "recreational space," "negative problems," and "overspending." However, there are instances where vocabulary is repetitive or lacks variation, such as the frequent use of "shopping malls" and "people." Additionally, phrases like "idealistic place" and "conditions about wasting money" are awkward and could be expressed more clearly.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related terms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "shopping malls," alternatives like "retail centers," "commercial complexes," or "consumer hubs" can be employed. Expanding the vocabulary around leisure activities and spending habits would also add depth to the essay.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains some imprecise vocabulary choices. For instance, "idealistic place" does not accurately convey the intended meaning; "ideal place" would be more appropriate. The phrase "conditions about wasting money" is also vague and could be better articulated as "issues related to excessive spending."
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on selecting words that accurately reflect their intended meaning. This can be achieved by reviewing vocabulary in context and ensuring that the chosen words fit the situation. Additionally, using collocations (common word combinations) can enhance clarity. For example, "financial difficulties" instead of "financial ability" would convey the intended message more effectively.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "alway" (always), "shoplifter" (should be "shoplifters"), and "unless trend" (should be "unnecessary trend"). These errors detract from the overall quality of the writing and can confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular practice, such as writing short paragraphs and checking them for spelling errors. Utilizing spell-check tools and proofreading the essay multiple times can help catch mistakes. Additionally, maintaining a list of commonly misspelled words and reviewing them can be beneficial.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a reasonable command of vocabulary, there are clear areas for improvement in range, precision, and spelling. By diversifying vocabulary, ensuring precise word choice, and focusing on spelling accuracy, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, such as simple and compound sentences. For instance, sentences like "In today’s world, plazas contribute to creating recreational space for everyone" show an attempt at complexity. However, there is a noticeable lack of complex sentence structures, which limits the overall range. Many sentences are either overly simplistic or poorly constructed, such as "This overspending lead to debt and financial ability," which lacks clarity and coherence.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer should practice incorporating more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses. For example, instead of saying "people can go to the park to exercise instead of visiting shopping malls," the writer could say, "While people can go to the park to exercise, they might also consider visiting shopping malls less frequently to avoid overspending." This not only adds complexity but also improves the flow of ideas.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its clarity. For example, there are missing commas, such as in "In today’s world,plazas contribute," where there should be a space after the comma. Additionally, phrases like "which suitable with all age groups" are grammatically incorrect; it should be "which are suitable for all age groups." The misuse of articles, such as "the unless trend," further complicates comprehension.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Regular practice with grammar exercises, particularly those focusing on common errors, would be beneficial. Additionally, proofreading for punctuation and sentence structure before submission can help catch these errors. Utilizing tools like grammar checkers or seeking feedback from peers can also provide insights into areas needing improvement.

Overall, while the essay presents some relevant ideas, enhancing the variety of sentence structures and improving grammatical accuracy will significantly elevate the quality of writing and potentially raise the band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

In today’s world, plazas contribute to creating recreational spaces for everyone, whereas in the past, people primarily visited them only when necessary. This trend has resulted in various societal issues. This essay will explore the reasons behind this shift and identify potential solutions to mitigate the problem.

Firstly, in the past, shopping malls were underdeveloped, and their infrastructure was limited. People typically went there to make essential purchases or for special occasions. In contrast, shopping centers have become accessible to everyone, offering a plethora of amenities such as fashion outlets, supermarkets, coffee shops, and restaurants. There are also various activities suitable for all age groups, making them ideal destinations on weekends. As a result, people now often choose plazas as places to relax and have fun. However, this trend has led to issues related to overspending and the pursuit of negative trends. For example, women with free time may simply visit shopping malls and browse, often purchasing unnecessary items like clothes and cosmetics. This overspending can lead to debt and financial difficulties, creating conflicts with family and friends. Moreover, in this day and age, teenagers tend to follow new trends, which allows them to wait in line for hours. This behavior can create opportunities for theft and shoplifting, thereby making shopping centers unsafe and diminishing their reputation.

To address these issues, there are several strategies that citizens can adopt. To begin with, people can opt to visit parks for exercise instead of shopping malls. They can also engage in meaningful experiences with friends, which can create unforgettable memories, such as participating in charity activities or environmental initiatives. Furthermore, individuals should focus on purchasing only necessary items and resist the urge to follow fleeting trends in order to save money.

In conclusion, spending excessive time in shopping malls is a negative trend these days, but there are still solutions available to reduce its impact.