Nowadays many familes have both parents working. Some working parents belie other family Members like grandparents can take care of their children; while others think childcare centres provide the best care Dicuss both views and give your opinion.

Choosing the correct method for childcare. is a contenious of every family warlowide. The majority of people thin toe that the family member can look into their chilaren. But some family believe that the chilacare centres can provide the best care. However family momben is nearly love with the children more than the childrare. That's the reason the majority of family assume grandparents iS the best way to take care of tho children .
first of all, family members can take angood offect for the children. they can gain the love from their grandparents that also make the child fell beter. In the family we can feel comportantel; that make the children can do everything they like as a child, Children s it white paper, family must focus on there. If they love wither grand parents, the can be thomseft. The maint of childen would love to stay at home with family more them I the childrare. Also the parent may save the money of they take their child for grandparents,
In contrast, the childcare centre is the one of the mostes convineice way to do not wasting time on tale -care of their child ,If the children do not have grandparents, In the child care centre, child can proves the best care from the teacher a the child care members. Some family trust the childrare for the good quality, the children can study and do excercise. They can mak-more friend in the centres
Moving onto, the family members taking is one of the savest choosing for two working parents, they can see the child lon us with no price, that can save the huge of money for taking the ch tente a lot, Nowadays, the huge ofisfamily choatng to take thir children to family members
In condusion, the writen erray has demonstiated all of the Ideas of the topic essay. that why many family Still befieve family take care is the best way for child.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Choosing the correct method for childcare. is a contenious of every family warlowide." -> "Selecting the appropriate method for childcare is a contentious issue for every family worldwide."
Explanation: Correcting the punctuation and replacing "contenious" with "contentious" fixes the grammatical error and uses a more precise term that is appropriate for formal writing. "Warlowide" is likely a typographical error and should be replaced with "worldwide."
"The majority of people thin toe that the family member can look into their chilaren." -> "The majority of people believe that family members can care for their children."
Explanation: "Thin toe" is a typographical error and should be replaced with "believe." "Chilaren" is also incorrect and should be "children." The phrase "look into" is informal and vague; "care for" is more precise and formal.
"But some family believe that the chilacare centres can provide the best care." -> "However, some families believe that childcare centers can provide the best care."
Explanation: "But" is too informal for academic writing; "However" is more appropriate. "Chilacare" is a typographical error and should be "childcare." "Centres" is the British spelling; "centers" is preferred in American English.
"family momben is nearly love with the children more than the childrare." -> "family members are nearly as loving as the caregivers."
Explanation: "Momben" is unclear and likely a typographical error. "Nearly love with" is grammatically incorrect and unclear; "as loving as" is more precise. "Childrare" is a non-existent word; "caregivers" is the correct term.
"That’s the reason the majority of family assume grandparents iS the best way to take care of tho children." -> "This is why many families assume that grandparents are the best caregivers for their children."
Explanation: "That’s the reason" is informal; "This is why" is more formal. "iS" is a typographical error and should be "is." "Tho" is a typographical error and should be "the." "Assume" is vague; "assume that" clarifies the assumption.
"family members can take angood offect for the children." -> "family members can provide excellent care for the children."
Explanation: "Angood offect" is unclear and grammatically incorrect; "excellent care" is clear and formal.
"they can gain the love from their grandparents that also make the child fell beter." -> "they can receive love from their grandparents, which also makes the child feel better."
Explanation: "Gain the love" is awkward and unclear; "receive love" is more natural. "Fell beter" is a typographical error and should be "feel better."
"Children s it white paper, family must focus on there." -> "Children should be treated as individuals, not just as statistics, and families should focus on their needs."
Explanation: "Children s it white paper" is unclear and grammatically incorrect. The suggested replacement clarifies the meaning and uses formal language.
"If they love wither grand parents, the can be thomseft." -> "If they love their grandparents, they can be themselves."
Explanation: "Wither" is incorrect; "their" is the correct possessive form. "Thomseft" is a typographical error and should be "themselves."
"the maint of childen would love to stay at home with family more them I the childrare." -> "many children would prefer to stay at home with family rather than in childcare."
Explanation: "The maint of childen" is unclear and grammatically incorrect; "many children" is clearer and more formal. "More them I the childrare" is grammatically incorrect and unclear; "rather than in childcare" is correct and clear.
"Also the parent may save the money of they take their child for grandparents," -> "Additionally, parents may save money by leaving their children with grandparents."
Explanation: "Also" is too informal; "Additionally" is more formal. "The money of they take" is grammatically incorrect; "money by leaving" is correct. "For grandparents" is awkward; "with grandparents" is more natural.
"the childcare centre is the one of the mostes convineice way to do not wasting time on tale -care of their child" -> "childcare centers are one of the most convenient ways to avoid wasting time on childcare."
Explanation: "The one of the mostes convineice way" is grammatically incorrect and awkward; "one of the most convenient ways" is correct. "Do not wasting time" is grammatically incorrect; "avoid wasting time" is correct. "Tale -care" is unclear and likely a typographical error; "childcare" is the correct term.
"If the children do not have grandparents, In the child care centre, child can proves the best care from the teacher a the child care members." -> "If children do not have grandparents, in childcare centers, they can receive the best care from teachers and childcare staff."
Explanation: "Child can proves" is grammatically incorrect; "they can receive" is correct. "Teacher a the child care members" is awkward and unclear; "teachers and childcare staff" is clear and formal.
"Some family trust the childrare for the good quality, the children can study and do excercise." -> "Some families trust childcare centers for their high quality, allowing children to study and exercise."
Explanation: "Some family" should be "Some families" for grammatical agreement. "The childrare" is a typographical error and should be "childcare centers." "Do excercise" is a typographical error and should be "exercise."
"They can mak-more friend in the centres" -> "They can make more friends in the centers."
Explanation: "Mak-more" is a typographical error and should be "make more." "In the centres" should be "in the centers" for consistency in American English usage.
"the family members taking is one of the savest choosing for two working parents" -> "family members taking care is one of the safest choices for two working parents"
Explanation: "The family members taking" is awkward and unclear; "family members taking care" is clearer. "Savest choosing" is grammatically incorrect; "safest choices" is correct.
"they can see the child lon us with no price, that can save the huge of money for taking the ch tente a lot" -> "they can care for the child without cost, saving a significant amount of money on childcare."
Explanation: "Child lon us with no price" is unclear and grammatically incorrect; "care for the child without cost" is clear and formal. "Huge of money" is awkward and unclear; "a significant amount of money" is precise and formal.
"that can save the huge of money for taking the ch tente a lot" -> "that can save a significant amount of money on childcare."
Explanation: "Huge of money" is awkward and unclear; "a significant amount of money" is correct. "Taking the ch tente a lot" is unclear and likely a typographical error; "on childcare" is correct and clear.
"Nowadays, the huge ofisfamily choatng to take thir children to family members" -> "Currently, many families are choosing to leave their children with family members."
Explanation: "Nowadays" is informal; "Currently" is more formal. "Huge ofisfamily choatng" is unclear and grammatically incorrect; "many families are choosing" is clear and correct. "Thir" is a typographical error and should be "their."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address both views regarding childcare, mentioning the role of family members, particularly grandparents, and contrasting this with childcare centers. However, the discussion lacks depth and clarity. For instance, while the essay states that grandparents provide love and comfort, it fails to elaborate on how this impacts child development or compare it effectively with the benefits of childcare centers. The conclusion also does not clearly summarize the discussion or provide a definitive opinion, which is required by the prompt.
- How to improve: To better address all parts of the question, the writer should ensure that each viewpoint is explored in detail. This could involve providing specific examples or studies that support each argument, as well as a more explicit opinion in the conclusion that reflects a balanced consideration of both perspectives.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay struggles to maintain a clear position. While it suggests that family care is preferable, it does not consistently advocate for this viewpoint throughout the essay. The argument for childcare centers is presented but not sufficiently countered, leading to ambiguity about the writer’s stance.
- How to improve: To present a clearer position, the writer should explicitly state their opinion early in the essay and reinforce it throughout. This could be achieved by consistently linking back to their main argument in each paragraph and summarizing how each point supports their overall stance.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The ideas presented in the essay are often underdeveloped and lack sufficient support. For example, the claim that children feel better with grandparents is made, but it is not backed by any evidence or examples. Additionally, the discussion about childcare centers is vague and does not adequately explain why some families might prefer this option.
- How to improve: To enhance the presentation and support of ideas, the writer should aim to provide more detailed explanations and examples for each point made. This could include discussing specific activities that children engage in at childcare centers or citing research on child development that supports the benefits of familial care.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay occasionally deviates from the topic, particularly in its phrasing and structure. For instance, phrases like "the maint of childen would love to stay at home with family more them I the childrare" are unclear and distract from the main argument. Additionally, the overall coherence of the essay is undermined by grammatical errors and awkward phrasing.
- How to improve: To stay on topic, the writer should focus on clarity and coherence in their writing. This includes proofreading for grammatical errors and ensuring that each sentence contributes directly to the argument. Structuring the essay with clear topic sentences and logical transitions between points will also help maintain focus.

Overall, the essay demonstrates an understanding of the topic but requires significant improvement in clarity, depth, and structure to achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 4

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 4

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents two viewpoints regarding childcare but lacks a clear and logical organization. The introduction is vague and does not effectively set up the discussion. For example, the transition from discussing family members to childcare centers is abrupt and lacks a clear connection. Additionally, the conclusion reiterates points without summarizing the main arguments effectively.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, start with a clear introduction that outlines the main arguments. Use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to indicate what the paragraph will discuss. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, using linking phrases such as "On the one hand" and "On the other hand" to clarify the contrast between the two views.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to use paragraphs, but they are poorly structured and lack coherence. For instance, the first paragraph mixes ideas about family care and childcare centers without a clear separation. The second paragraph also fails to maintain focus, as it shifts between different points without clear delineation.
- How to improve: Implement a clear paragraph structure: start with a topic sentence, followed by supporting sentences, and conclude with a summary or transition to the next point. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea. For example, one paragraph could solely discuss the benefits of grandparents as caregivers, while another could focus on the advantages of childcare centers.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates limited use of cohesive devices, which hampers the overall flow. Words like "However" and "In contrast" are used, but they are not effectively integrated into the text. Moreover, there are instances of unclear references, such as "the child" or "they," which can confuse readers about what is being referred to.
- How to improve: To improve cohesion, incorporate a wider range of cohesive devices, such as "Furthermore," "Moreover," and "In addition" to connect ideas. Ensure that pronouns clearly refer back to their antecedents to avoid confusion. For example, instead of saying "they can gain the love," specify "children can gain the love from their grandparents."

In summary, while the essay addresses the prompt, it suffers from significant issues in organization, paragraph structure, and cohesion. By focusing on logical organization, clear paragraphing, and effective use of cohesive devices, the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay can be significantly improved.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 5

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary. For instance, terms like "childcare," "family members," and "children" are repeated frequently without variation. The phrase "best care" is used multiple times, indicating a lack of synonyms or alternative expressions. Additionally, words like "contenious" and "warlowide" are misspelled, which detracts from the overall lexical variety.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related terms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "best care," alternatives like "optimal supervision," "quality nurturing," or "adequate support" could be employed. Regular reading and practice with vocabulary exercises can also help expand lexical variety.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, "the family member can look into their chilaren" is vague and could be more accurately expressed as "family members can provide care for their children." Additionally, phrases like "the maint of childen would love to stay at home" lack clarity and precision.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys their intended meaning. This can be achieved by reviewing word definitions and contexts. For example, instead of "the maint of childen," the writer could say "most children prefer to stay at home." Practicing paraphrasing can also help in developing more precise language.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains numerous spelling errors, such as "contenious," "thin toe," "chilaren," "chilacare," "momben," and "demonstiated." These errors significantly hinder readability and comprehension, affecting the overall impression of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular spelling practice, such as using flashcards or spelling apps. Additionally, proofreading the essay before submission can help catch and correct spelling mistakes. Reading more can also improve spelling skills, as it familiarizes the writer with correct word forms.

In summary, to achieve a higher band score for Lexical Resource, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary range, using language more precisely, and improving spelling accuracy. Regular practice, reading, and revision will be essential in making these improvements.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures. Most sentences are simple and lack complexity. For example, phrases like "family members can take angood offect for the children" and "the childcare centre is the one of the mostes convineice way" reflect a repetitive structure. There are few compound or complex sentences that could enhance the flow and depth of the argument.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider using more complex sentences that combine ideas. For instance, instead of saying "family members can take care of the children," you could say, "While family members can provide care for the children, it is essential to consider the benefits of professional childcare centers." Additionally, incorporating relative clauses (e.g., "which provide a nurturing environment") and conditional sentences (e.g., "If parents choose childcare centers, they may benefit from structured activities") can enhance variety.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains numerous grammatical errors and punctuation issues. For instance, "is a contenious of every family warlowide" contains spelling errors and awkward phrasing. The use of punctuation is inconsistent; for example, there are missing commas and periods, such as in "In contrast, the childcare centre is the one of the mostes convineice way to do not wasting time on tale -care of their child." Additionally, capitalization errors are present, such as "Dicuss" and "childcare centres."
- How to improve: Focus on proofreading for spelling and grammatical errors. Utilize grammar-checking tools or resources to identify common mistakes. Pay attention to punctuation rules, particularly with commas and periods. For example, ensure that each sentence ends with a period and that commas are used to separate clauses appropriately. Practicing writing short, clear sentences can also help improve overall grammatical accuracy.

In conclusion, while the essay presents a relevant discussion on childcare options, enhancing the variety of sentence structures and improving grammatical accuracy and punctuation will significantly elevate the quality of the writing. Regular practice and feedback can aid in achieving these improvements.

Bài sửa mẫu

Choosing the appropriate method for childcare is a contentious issue for every family worldwide. The majority of people believe that family members can care for their children. However, some families think that childcare centers provide the best care. Family members are often nearly as loving as the caregivers in these centers. This is why many families assume that grandparents are the best caregivers for their children.

First of all, family members can have a positive effect on children. They can provide love and support, which helps children feel better. In a family environment, children often feel comfortable, allowing them to express themselves freely. Children should be treated as individuals, not just as statistics, and families must focus on their needs. If children have a strong bond with their grandparents, they can truly be themselves. Many children would prefer to stay at home with family rather than in childcare. Additionally, parents may save money by leaving their children with grandparents.

In contrast, childcare centers are one of the most convenient ways to avoid wasting time on childcare. If children do not have grandparents available, they can receive excellent care from teachers and childcare staff in these centers. Some families trust childcare centers for their high quality, as they allow children to study and engage in physical activities. Furthermore, children can make more friends in these centers, which is beneficial for their social development.

Moreover, family members taking care of children is one of the safest choices for two working parents. They can care for the child without any cost, saving a significant amount of money on childcare. Currently, many families are choosing to leave their children with family members, as this arrangement often proves to be both economical and nurturing.

In conclusion, this essay has discussed both perspectives on childcare. While many families believe that family members provide the best care, others trust childcare centers for their structured environment and social opportunities. Ultimately, the choice depends on the specific needs and circumstances of each family.