Nowadays, many families have both parents working. Some working parents believe other family members like grandparents can take care of their children, while other think that childcare centers provide the best care. discuss both view and give your opinion

It is argue that families with both parents working should give their children to grandparents, while other people assume that childcare organisations can offer a comprehensive environment.

Grandparents taking care babies can strengthen family bonds. They may spend more time playing with their grandparents which makes them less lonely in the old age. Additionally, children tend to be closer to grandparents when they grow up if their grandparents have looked after them since they were children, so that the relationship between them may be good. Therefore, busy parents can let grandparents keeping their sons or daughter to bettering the family relationship.

However, others think that centers are better for children due to learning social skills. At childcare settings, children can learn useful knowledge and have opportunities to play with friends which makes them more active and have the preparation before going to school. Consequently, childcare centers create great environment for children to grow up completely. As a result, childcare centers may guarantee that children can be brought up better. Although it is true, the care from grandparents is still better.

From this writer's opinion, babysitting is done by other family members can reduce the financial burdens. Parents can save money for not paying for other services while grandparents may satisfy with the job. Therefore, close relatives caring for babies can decline the cost of nurturing.

In conclusion, close relatives babysitting can show a strong emotional attachment to children and decrease financial issues, while childcare organizations improve social skills.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"It is argue" -> "It is argued"
Explanation: "It is argued" corrects the grammatical error and aligns with formal academic language by using the passive voice, which is more appropriate in formal writing.
"give their children to grandparents" -> "leave their children with grandparents"
Explanation: "Leave their children with grandparents" is a more natural and precise phrase that avoids the awkward and informal construction of "give their children to."
"babies" -> "infants"
Explanation: "Infants" is a more formal and precise term than "babies," which is typically used in informal contexts.
"spend more time playing with their grandparents" -> "spend more time engaging in play with their grandparents"
Explanation: "Engaging in play" is a more formal and specific term than "playing," which is more suitable for academic writing.
"makes them less lonely in the old age" -> "reduces their loneliness in their later years"
Explanation: "Reduces their loneliness in their later years" is more formal and avoids the colloquial "old age."
"let grandparents keeping" -> "allow grandparents to care for"
Explanation: "Allow grandparents to care for" corrects the grammatical error and uses a more formal verb construction.
"bettering the family relationship" -> "strengthening family relationships"
Explanation: "Strengthening family relationships" is a more precise and formal way to express the intended meaning.
"others think that centers are better for children" -> "others contend that centers are more suitable for children"
Explanation: "Contend" is a more formal synonym for "think," and "more suitable" is a more precise adjective than "better."
"learn useful knowledge" -> "acquire valuable knowledge"
Explanation: "Acquire valuable knowledge" is a more formal and precise phrase than "learn useful knowledge."
"have opportunities to play with friends" -> "have opportunities to interact with peers"
Explanation: "Interact with peers" is a more formal and academically appropriate term than "play with friends."
"makes them more active and have the preparation" -> "enhances their activity levels and prepares them"
Explanation: "Enhances their activity levels and prepares them" is more formal and avoids the awkward construction of "have the preparation."
"childcare centers create great environment" -> "childcare centers provide an ideal environment"
Explanation: "Provide an ideal environment" is more precise and formal than "create great environment."
"may guarantee that children can be brought up better" -> "may ensure that children are raised optimally"
Explanation: "Ensure that children are raised optimally" is more formal and precise than "guarantee that children can be brought up better."
"babysitting is done by other family members can reduce the financial burdens" -> "family members’ babysitting can reduce financial burdens"
Explanation: This revision clarifies the subject and verb agreement, making the sentence more grammatically correct and formal.
"satisfy with the job" -> "find satisfaction in their role"
Explanation: "Find satisfaction in their role" is a more formal and precise expression than "satisfy with the job."
"decline the cost of nurturing" -> "reduce the costs of childcare"
Explanation: "Reduce the costs of childcare" is a more specific and formal term than "decline the cost of nurturing."

These changes enhance the formality, precision, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address both views regarding childcare, mentioning grandparents and childcare centers. However, it lacks depth in discussing the merits of each perspective. For instance, while it states that grandparents can strengthen family bonds, it does not explore potential drawbacks, such as the limitations in educational development. Similarly, the discussion on childcare centers is superficial, lacking specific examples or evidence to support the claim that they provide a better environment.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should provide a balanced analysis of both views, including potential advantages and disadvantages of each option. This could involve discussing the emotional, social, and educational aspects of both forms of childcare, ensuring that each perspective is explored in detail.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a personal opinion in the final paragraph, suggesting that family members can reduce financial burdens. However, this position is not consistently reinforced throughout the essay. The initial paragraphs present both views but do not clearly indicate which side the writer ultimately supports until the conclusion.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the writer should explicitly state their opinion in the introduction and refer back to it throughout the essay. This could involve using phrases that indicate agreement or disagreement with the points made, thereby reinforcing their stance consistently.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The ideas presented in the essay are somewhat vague and lack sufficient development. For example, the statement about grandparents strengthening family bonds is made, but it is not elaborated upon with examples or further explanation. Similarly, the benefits of childcare centers are mentioned but not supported with specific details or evidence.
- How to improve: The writer should aim to elaborate on each point made, providing examples, statistics, or anecdotes that support their claims. This will not only strengthen the argument but also demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing childcare options. However, there are moments where the focus shifts, particularly in the final paragraph, where the discussion of financial burdens feels somewhat disconnected from the main argument about the quality of care provided by grandparents versus childcare centers.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that all points made directly relate to the prompt. Each paragraph should clearly tie back to the central question of which childcare option is preferable, avoiding tangential discussions that do not contribute to the argument.

Additional Notes: The essay is also under the required word count, which can significantly impact the overall score. Expanding on ideas and providing more detailed analysis will not only help meet the word count but also improve the overall quality of the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both viewpoints, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow could be enhanced. For instance, the transition from discussing the benefits of grandparents to childcare centers feels somewhat abrupt. The argument about grandparents strengthening family bonds is valid, but it could be better linked to the subsequent discussion on childcare centers by explicitly contrasting the emotional benefits with the social skills gained in childcare settings.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly indicate comparisons or contrasts. For example, phrases like "On the other hand," or "In contrast," could be used to better connect the ideas between paragraphs. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea can help guide the reader through the argument more effectively.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs appropriately to separate different ideas, which is a strength. However, some paragraphs could be more effectively structured. For example, the paragraph discussing grandparents could benefit from clearer topic sentences and supporting details that are more logically ordered. The last paragraph feels somewhat disconnected from the previous discussions and could be better integrated into the overall argument.
- How to improve: To improve paragraph structure, start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main point. Follow this with supporting sentences that elaborate on that point, ensuring that they are logically sequenced. For the conclusion, it could be more impactful if it briefly summarized the main arguments before presenting the writer’s opinion, reinforcing the overall coherence of the essay.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "however," "additionally," and "therefore," which help in linking ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be clearer. For example, the phrase "Although it is true, the care from grandparents is still better" lacks clarity and could confuse the reader about the writer’s stance.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating more varied linking words and phrases, such as "furthermore," "in addition," "conversely," and "for instance." Additionally, ensure that the cohesive devices used are appropriate for the context. For instance, rephrasing the conclusion to clarify the relationship between the points made about grandparents and childcare centers would enhance overall coherence.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, potentially leading to a higher band score in future assessments.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, such as "strengthen family bonds," "comprehensive environment," and "financial burdens." However, there are instances of repetition and a lack of variety in word choice. For example, the term "grandparents" is used frequently without synonyms or alternative phrases, which could enhance the lexical variety.
- How to improve: To improve, consider using synonyms or related terms to avoid repetition. For instance, instead of repeatedly saying "grandparents," you could use "elderly relatives" or "senior family members." Additionally, incorporating more varied adjectives and verbs can help to create a richer vocabulary.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are several instances of imprecise vocabulary usage, such as "It is argue" instead of "It is argued" and "keeping their sons or daughter to bettering the family relationship," which is awkwardly phrased. The phrase "great environment" is also vague and could be more specific.
- How to improve: Focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys your intended meaning. For example, revise "It is argue" to "It is argued." Instead of "great environment," consider specifying what makes the environment beneficial, such as "nurturing environment" or "stimulating atmosphere." This will enhance clarity and precision in your writing.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "argue" (should be "argued"), "organisations" (should be "organizations" in American English), and "better" (should be "better" in the context used). These errors can detract from the overall quality of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, consider implementing a proofreading strategy. After completing your essay, take a moment to read it aloud or use spell-check tools. Additionally, familiarize yourself with commonly misspelled words and practice them regularly. Keeping a list of challenging words can also be beneficial for ongoing improvement.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of vocabulary, there is room for improvement in range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By diversifying word choice, ensuring precise language use, and enhancing spelling practices, the essay can achieve a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criteria.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, such as simple sentences ("Grandparents taking care babies can strengthen family bonds.") and compound sentences ("At childcare settings, children can learn useful knowledge and have opportunities to play with friends which makes them more active and have the preparation before going to school."). However, the range is limited, and many sentences are either overly simplistic or awkwardly constructed. For example, "busy parents can let grandparents keeping their sons or daughter to bettering the family relationship" lacks clarity and proper structure.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences and varied conjunctions. For instance, using relative clauses (e.g., "which can strengthen family bonds") or conditional sentences (e.g., "If parents choose grandparents for childcare, they may foster stronger family ties") would add depth. Practicing sentence combining exercises can also help in creating more sophisticated structures.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from clarity. For instance, "It is argue that families" should be "It is argued that families." The phrase "keeping their sons or daughter to bettering the family relationship" is grammatically incorrect; it should be "to better the family relationship." Additionally, punctuation is inconsistent, particularly with commas. For example, "Consequently, childcare centers create great environment for children to grow up completely" lacks an article before "environment."
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement, verb forms, and article usage. Regular grammar exercises, particularly focusing on common errors, can be beneficial. Additionally, reviewing punctuation rules, especially regarding the use of commas in complex sentences, will enhance clarity. Reading more academic texts can also help the writer internalize correct grammatical structures and punctuation usage.

Overall, while the essay presents relevant ideas, improving grammatical range and accuracy will significantly enhance the overall quality of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is argued that families with both parents working should leave their children with grandparents, while others contend that childcare centers provide a more suitable environment for children.

Grandparents caring for infants can strengthen family bonds. Children may spend more time engaging in play with their grandparents, which can reduce their loneliness in their later years. Additionally, children tend to develop closer relationships with their grandparents if they have been cared for by them since early childhood. Therefore, busy parents can allow grandparents to care for their sons or daughters, thereby enhancing family relationships.

However, others believe that childcare centers are better for children due to the opportunity to learn social skills. In childcare settings, children can acquire valuable knowledge and have opportunities to interact with peers, which enhances their activity levels and prepares them for school. Consequently, childcare centers provide an ideal environment for children to grow up holistically. As a result, childcare centers may ensure that children are raised optimally, although the care from grandparents is still beneficial.

In my opinion, having family members babysit can reduce financial burdens. Parents can save money by not paying for external services, while grandparents may find satisfaction in their role. Therefore, close relatives caring for children can help decrease the costs of childcare.

In conclusion, having close relatives babysit can foster a strong emotional attachment to children and alleviate financial concerns, while childcare organizations help improve social skills.