Nowadays public transport prices are constantly increasing. Why do you think it is happening? How can this problem be solved?

Nowadays public transport prices are constantly increasing.
Why do you think it is happening?
How can this problem be solved?

In today's world, it is undeniable that the fares of public transportation have been continuously escalating. From my perspective, this phenomenon is driven by the shortage of fuels and rising inflation rates, which can be mitigated by governmental interventions.

To begin with, there are two key rationales that contribute to this trend. The first reason is the insufficiency of fuels. This is because some energy sources, including oil and gasoline, are paramount since they fuel vehicle engines and power specialized devices used in the car manufacturing process. This growing demand has resulted in excessive consumption of these finite sources, ultimately leading to inadequate supplies and more costly offerings to restrict consumption.

Furthermore, this trend can also be attributed to the phenomenon of general inflation. In this intricate economic climate, various factors, including increased disposable income of customers and reduced government subsidies, have resulted in the common upward trend in costs such as infrastructure and maintenance. This incentivizes public transport operators to adjust their fares to reap a stable financial surplus.
However, these aforementioned problems can be tackled by effective actions from the government. The first measure revolves around the provision of necessary monetary support. By providing stable financial aid, operators no longer resort to elevating fees to cover relevant expenses while a high-quality experience can still be offered to customers. Furthermore, countries should join forces to conduct regular experiments and identify new sources of oil and petrol, even in some distant geographies, which further the rate of securing a reliable source in the years to come. Lastly, there should be greater attempts to devise transport modes that utilize sustainable and definite energy, such as solar or wind, which requires substantial investment from the government. By inventing a more sustainable means, there will be less strain on the exploitation of natural resources, leading to less reliance on fossil fuels.

In conclusion, price increments of public transport can be attributed to the inadequacy of fuels, combined with the gradual increase in the inflation rate. Nevertheless, these problems can be effectively solved by actions from the government, including providing more financial support, locating more sources, as well as promoting vehicles that are less dependent on fuels.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "fares of public transportation" -> "fares for public transportation"
   Explanation: The preposition "of" is incorrect here; "for" is the appropriate preposition to use when referring to the purpose or object of something, which is the correct usage in this context.

2. "have been continuously escalating" -> "have been continuously increasing"
   Explanation: "Escalating" typically implies a sudden or sharp increase, whereas "increasing" is more neutral and appropriate for describing a gradual rise in prices.

3. "From my perspective" -> "From my viewpoint"
   Explanation: "Viewpoint" is a more formal term than "perspective," aligning better with academic writing standards.

4. "insufficiency of fuels" -> "shortage of fuels"
   Explanation: "Insufficiency" is less commonly used in this context; "shortage" is the standard term for describing a lack of something, especially in economic or supply contexts.

5. "paramount" -> "essential"
   Explanation: While "paramount" is not incorrect, "essential" is more straightforward and commonly used in academic writing to describe something necessary or crucial.

6. "excessive consumption" -> "excessive use"
   Explanation: "Use" is more precise in this context, as it directly relates to the consumption of fuels, whereas "consumption" can be broader and less specific.

7. "inadequate supplies" -> "insufficient supplies"
   Explanation: "Inadequate" implies a lack of sufficiency, which is redundant with "inadequate supplies." "Insufficient" is more direct and avoids redundancy.

8. "more costly offerings" -> "higher prices"
   Explanation: "Offerings" is vague and informal; "prices" is the standard term for the cost of goods or services.

9. "phenomenon of general inflation" -> "phenomenon of general inflation"
   Explanation: This is a redundant phrase; "phenomenon" already implies a general occurrence, so "general" is unnecessary.

10. "in this intricate economic climate" -> "in this complex economic environment"
    Explanation: "Intricate" is less commonly used to describe economic conditions; "complex" is more appropriate and widely accepted in academic discourse.

11. "reduced government subsidies" -> "reduced government support"
    Explanation: "Support" is a broader term that encompasses various forms of aid, making it more suitable for describing government assistance in this context.

12. "join forces" -> "collaborate"
    Explanation: "Join forces" is an idiom that may be considered too informal for academic writing; "collaborate" is a more formal synonym.

13. "conducted regular experiments" -> "conduct regular research"
    Explanation: "Experiments" implies a specific type of scientific testing, whereas "research" is a broader term that encompasses various forms of investigation, fitting better in this context.

14. "invent a more sustainable means" -> "develop more sustainable alternatives"
    Explanation: "Invent" implies creation from scratch, which may not be accurate in this context; "develop" is more appropriate for describing the improvement of existing technologies.

15. "less strain on the exploitation of natural resources" -> "reduced pressure on the exploitation of natural resources"
    Explanation: "Less strain" is less formal and slightly vague; "reduced pressure" is more precise and formal, fitting the academic style better.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt. The first part, "Why do you think it is happening?" is answered through the discussion of fuel shortages and inflation. The second part, "How can this problem be solved?" is also well-covered with suggestions for government intervention. The author clearly identifies the causes and potential solutions, which demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
  • How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer could provide more specific examples or data to support the claims about fuel shortages and inflation. For instance, mentioning specific statistics or case studies related to public transport fare increases could strengthen the argument and provide a more robust answer.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that the rising costs of public transport are due to fuel shortages and inflation, and that government intervention is necessary to address these issues. This position is consistent throughout the essay, as evidenced by the structured argumentation and logical flow from causes to solutions.
  • How to improve: While the position is clear, the writer could enhance the essay by explicitly restating their main argument in the conclusion. This would reinforce their stance and ensure that the reader is left with a strong impression of their viewpoint.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The ideas presented are relevant and well-structured, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The writer effectively extends their ideas by exploring the implications of fuel shortages and inflation on public transport fares. However, some points could benefit from further elaboration, particularly the proposed solutions.
  • How to improve: To strengthen the support for ideas, the writer could include more detailed explanations or examples of how government interventions have successfully mitigated similar issues in other contexts. This would provide a stronger foundation for the proposed solutions and demonstrate their feasibility.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, addressing both the causes of rising public transport prices and potential solutions without deviating into unrelated areas. The logical progression of ideas contributes to the overall coherence of the essay.
  • How to improve: While the essay stays on topic, the writer should ensure that all parts of their argument directly relate back to the prompt. For example, when discussing government interventions, it would be beneficial to explicitly connect these measures back to how they would specifically address the issues of fuel shortages and inflation, reinforcing the relevance of each point made.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of the Task Response criteria, with clear strengths in addressing the prompt and maintaining a coherent argument. With some enhancements in the areas of supporting evidence and explicit connections between ideas, the essay could achieve an even higher level of sophistication.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the main causes of rising public transport prices and the proposed solutions. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument, which aids in understanding. For instance, the first body paragraph discusses the shortage of fuels, while the second addresses inflation. This logical progression helps the reader follow the argument effectively.
  • How to improve: To enhance the logical flow, consider using more explicit linking phrases between paragraphs. For example, at the end of the first body paragraph, a sentence could be added that directly connects the issue of fuel shortages to the subsequent discussion on inflation, such as, "In addition to fuel shortages, inflation also plays a significant role in increasing transport costs."

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a clear paragraphing structure, with each paragraph dedicated to a specific point. The introduction sets the stage, while the body paragraphs delve into causes and solutions. However, the conclusion could be more distinct, as it somewhat blends into the final body paragraph.
  • How to improve: To improve paragraphing, ensure that the conclusion is clearly separated from the body paragraphs. This can be achieved by starting the conclusion on a new line and summarizing the key points more succinctly. Additionally, consider using topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to clearly state the main idea being discussed.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "To begin with," "Furthermore," and "In conclusion," which effectively guide the reader through the argument. However, there is a tendency to rely on a limited range of cohesive devices, which can make the writing feel somewhat repetitive.
  • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking phrases and transitional words. For example, instead of repeatedly using "Furthermore," consider alternatives like "Additionally," "Moreover," or "On top of that." Additionally, using phrases that indicate contrast or comparison, such as "In contrast," or "Conversely," could enrich the essay’s cohesion and provide clearer connections between ideas.

Overall, the essay demonstrates strong coherence and cohesion, meriting a band score of 8. By implementing the suggested improvements, particularly in enhancing logical connections between paragraphs, refining paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices, the essay could achieve an even higher level of clarity and coherence.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with terms such as "escalating," "insufficiency," "paramount," and "inadequate." These words effectively convey the writer’s ideas and contribute to the overall clarity of the argument. However, some vocabulary choices are somewhat repetitive, particularly the use of "fuels" and "sources," which could be varied to enhance lexical diversity.
  • How to improve: To improve, the writer could incorporate synonyms or related terms to avoid repetition. For example, instead of repeatedly using "fuels," alternatives like "energy resources," "petroleum," or "fuel supplies" could be employed. Additionally, exploring more advanced vocabulary related to economics, such as "market fluctuations" or "price elasticity," could further enrich the essay.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are instances where word choice could be more precise. For example, the phrase "common upward trend in costs" could be more specifically articulated as "systematic increase in operational costs," which would clarify the context better. Additionally, the term "experiments" in "conduct regular experiments" is vague; "studies" or "research initiatives" would be more appropriate in this context.
  • How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on selecting words that accurately reflect the intended meaning. This can be achieved by reviewing the context in which words are used and considering whether they convey the specific idea intended. Utilizing a thesaurus judiciously can help find more suitable alternatives that fit the context better.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of spelling accuracy, with no significant errors noted. Words such as "governmental," "interventions," and "sustainable" are spelled correctly, contributing to the overall professionalism of the writing.
  • How to improve: While spelling is generally accurate, the writer should continue to proofread their work to catch any minor errors that may arise. Engaging in regular spelling exercises and utilizing spell-check tools can also reinforce spelling skills. Additionally, familiarizing oneself with commonly misspelled words in academic writing can further enhance accuracy.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of vocabulary with room for improvement in variety and precision. By diversifying word choice and ensuring precise language use, the writer can elevate their lexical resource score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, complex sentences are effectively employed, such as "This growing demand has resulted in excessive consumption of these finite sources, ultimately leading to inadequate supplies and more costly offerings to restrict consumption." Additionally, the use of conditional phrases, like "By providing stable financial aid, operators no longer resort to elevating fees," showcases an ability to manipulate sentence forms to convey nuanced ideas. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, particularly in the opening sentences of paragraphs, which could benefit from more variation.
  • How to improve: To enhance the diversity of sentence structures, consider incorporating more compound-complex sentences and varying the placement of clauses. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "The first reason is…" or "Furthermore," try beginning with dependent clauses or using introductory phrases to create a more engaging flow. Additionally, integrating rhetorical questions or contrasting ideas within the same sentence can add depth and variety.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with few errors present. For example, the phrase "the fares of public transportation have been continuously escalating" is grammatically correct and effectively communicates the ongoing nature of the issue. However, there are minor punctuation issues, such as the lack of a comma before "which can be mitigated by governmental interventions" in the introductory sentence, which could lead to confusion regarding the sentence’s structure. Additionally, the phrase "the common upward trend in costs such as infrastructure and maintenance" could be clearer with a slight rephrasing for better readability.
  • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy and punctuation skills, pay close attention to the use of commas, particularly in complex sentences. Ensure that non-restrictive clauses are properly set off by commas to clarify meaning. Additionally, proofreading for minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing can enhance clarity. Consider reading the essay aloud to identify any areas where the flow may be disrupted or where punctuation may be lacking. Engaging in targeted grammar exercises focusing on common pitfalls can also be beneficial.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, meriting a band score of 8. By focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical and punctuation accuracy, the writer can further enhance their writing proficiency.

Bài sửa mẫu

In today’s world, it is undeniable that fares for public transportation have been continuously increasing. From my viewpoint, this phenomenon is driven by the shortage of fuels and rising inflation rates, which can be mitigated through governmental interventions.

To begin with, there are two key reasons that contribute to this trend. The first reason is the insufficient supply of fuels. Some energy sources, including oil and gasoline, are essential as they power vehicle engines and operate specialized devices used in the car manufacturing process. This growing demand has resulted in excessive use of these finite resources, ultimately leading to insufficient supplies and higher prices to restrict consumption.

Furthermore, this trend can also be attributed to the phenomenon of general inflation. In this complex economic environment, various factors, including increased disposable income of consumers and reduced government support, have resulted in a common upward trend in costs such as infrastructure and maintenance. This incentivizes public transport operators to adjust their fares to ensure a stable financial surplus.

However, these issues can be addressed through effective actions from the government. The first measure revolves around providing necessary monetary support. By offering stable financial aid, operators would no longer need to elevate fees to cover relevant expenses while still delivering a high-quality experience to customers. Additionally, countries should collaborate to conduct regular research and identify new sources of oil and petrol, even in distant geographies, which would enhance the security of reliable supplies in the years to come. Lastly, there should be greater efforts to develop more sustainable alternatives, such as solar or wind energy, which require substantial investment from the government. By creating a more sustainable transport system, there will be reduced pressure on the exploitation of natural resources, leading to less reliance on fossil fuels.

In conclusion, the increase in public transport prices can be attributed to the shortage of fuels, combined with the gradual rise in inflation rates. Nevertheless, these challenges can be effectively addressed through government actions, including providing more financial support, locating additional sources, and promoting vehicles that are less dependent on fuels.