Nowadays, many individuals believe that living in urban areas has more disadvantages than living in rural areas. Do you agree or disagree? 300-350 words

In this day and age, there is a prevalent belief that residing in metropolitan areas causes more drawbacks than settling in rural areas. From my perspective, I am firmly in favor of this statement due to various disadvantages that have a profound impact on both individuals and society. This essay will explore the several weak points of living in urban areas, shedding light on the pressures and problems that accompany modern urbanization.
To begin with, one notable downside of dwelling in urban regions is the noise pollution that poses a risk to one’s well-being due to the constant din of traffic, construction and overcrowded roads. The noise is not limited to outdoor spaces, but can also seep into houses as well as departments, making it even more challenging for those seeking moments of relaxation and peace. As a result, because their minds are unable to fully unwind and they do not have few chances to vent negative emotions; individuals would encounter anxiety, and depression together with sleeping disorders. In extreme cases, prolonged exposure to such irritable noise may also give rise to the hearing damage or other serious health complications, obstructing city dwellers from finding quiet spots for rest.

Furthermore, another acute drawback of living the poor air quality due to the high concentration on vehicles, factories, and industrial activities. Emissions from cars, and trucks contribute to the release of hazardous pollutants such as carbon monoxide or nitrogen dioxide, not only negatively effecting one’s well-being, but also creating visible smog or haze, especially in hot days. As a consequence, breathing in such substandard conditions gives rise to numerous respiratory problems such as asthma, bronchitis and lung cancer. However, it can be even more serious if individuals are exposed to air pollution for a long period, especially for vulnerable groups like children or the elderly. In addition, poor air quality can also extend beyond health concerns, contributing to global challenges such as climate change and the obstacles to the living needs of future generations.
In conclusion, I wholeheartedly subscribe to the fact that living in cities causes a large number of emerging issues and metropolitan regions would never surpass urban areas in life quality due to various reasons including air pollution and excessive noise.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"In this day and age" -> "Currently"
Explanation: "Currently" is a more concise and formal alternative to the colloquial phrase "In this day and age," which is often considered too informal for academic writing.
"residing in metropolitan areas causes more drawbacks than settling in rural areas" -> "residing in metropolitan areas presents more drawbacks than residing in rural areas"
Explanation: The original phrase "causes more drawbacks" is somewhat vague and informal. "Presents more drawbacks" is more precise and formal, aligning better with academic style.
"I am firmly in favor of this statement" -> "I strongly support this assertion"
Explanation: "Support" is more formal than "favor," and "assertion" is a more precise term than "statement" in academic contexts.
"shedding light on the pressures and problems" -> "examining the pressures and problems"
Explanation: "Examining" is a more academic term than "shedding light on," which is somewhat metaphorical and less formal.
"the noise is not limited to outdoor spaces, but can also seep into houses as well as departments" -> "the noise extends beyond outdoor spaces, penetrating homes and workplaces"
Explanation: "Extends beyond" and "penetrating" are more precise and formal than "not limited to" and "seep into," enhancing the academic tone.
"because their minds are unable to fully unwind and they do not have few chances to vent negative emotions" -> "because they are unable to fully relax and have limited opportunities to express negative emotions"
Explanation: "Relax" and "express" are more precise and formal than "unwind" and "vent," and "limited opportunities" is clearer than "few chances."
"would encounter anxiety, and depression together with sleeping disorders" -> "may experience anxiety, depression, and sleep disorders"
Explanation: "May experience" is more formal than "would encounter," and "anxiety, depression, and sleep disorders" is a clearer and more formal way to list multiple conditions.
"living the poor air quality" -> "experiencing poor air quality"
Explanation: "Experiencing" is the correct verb form for describing the effects of poor air quality, whereas "living the poor air quality" is grammatically incorrect.
"high concentration on vehicles, factories, and industrial activities" -> "high concentrations from vehicles, factories, and industrial activities"
Explanation: "Concentrations" should be plural to match the plural subject, and "from" is more accurate than "on" in this context.
"not only negatively effecting one’s well-being" -> "not only negatively affecting one’s well-being"
Explanation: "Affecting" is the correct form of the verb in this context, correcting the spelling error from "effecting."
"creating visible smog or haze, especially in hot days" -> "producing visible smog or haze, particularly on hot days"
Explanation: "Producing" is more precise than "creating," and "particularly" is more formal than "especially."
"breathing in such substandard conditions" -> "inhaling such poor air quality"
Explanation: "Inhaling" is more specific to the context of breathing in air, and "poor air quality" is a more precise term than "substandard conditions."
"can also extend beyond health concerns" -> "can also extend beyond health issues"
Explanation: "Issues" is a more formal term than "concerns" in academic writing.
"the obstacles to the living needs of future generations" -> "barriers to the well-being of future generations"
Explanation: "Barriers" is a more precise term than "obstacles," and "well-being" is a more formal synonym for "living needs."
"metropolitan regions would never surpass urban areas in life quality" -> "metropolitan regions cannot surpass urban areas in terms of quality of life"
Explanation: "Cannot surpass" is more formal and precise than "would never surpass," and "in terms of quality of life" is a more formal and specific phrase.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by clearly stating a position that urban living has more disadvantages than rural living. The introduction outlines the writer’s stance and previews the main arguments. Each paragraph presents a specific disadvantage of urban living—noise pollution and air quality—demonstrating a comprehensive understanding of the topic. However, while the essay mentions these disadvantages, it could benefit from a brief acknowledgment of potential advantages of urban living to provide a more balanced view.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer could include a short paragraph acknowledging some advantages of urban living, such as access to services or job opportunities, before reinforcing their argument against these benefits. This would demonstrate a more nuanced understanding of the topic.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, consistently supporting the argument that urban living is disadvantageous. Phrases like "I am firmly in favor of this statement" and "I wholeheartedly subscribe to the fact" reinforce the writer’s stance. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points, reiterating the position.
- How to improve: To further strengthen the clarity of the position, the writer could use transitional phrases to link ideas more explicitly, ensuring that the reader can easily follow the argument’s progression. For example, summarizing the implications of each disadvantage before moving to the next point could enhance coherence.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents and supports its ideas well, with specific examples of noise pollution and air quality issues. The discussion of health impacts, such as anxiety and respiratory problems, effectively extends the argument. However, some points could be elaborated further; for instance, discussing how these issues impact urban life beyond individual health could provide a broader context.
- How to improve: To improve the depth of the argument, the writer could incorporate statistics or studies related to urban health issues, which would provide stronger evidence and enhance the persuasiveness of the claims. Additionally, exploring the societal implications of these disadvantages could further extend the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic, consistently discussing the disadvantages of urban living without straying into unrelated areas. Each paragraph directly relates to the central argument, contributing to a cohesive narrative.
- How to improve: To ensure continued focus, the writer should avoid introducing overly complex sentences that may confuse the reader. Simplifying some language and ensuring that each sentence clearly ties back to the main argument will help maintain clarity and relevance throughout the essay.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and effectively communicates the writer’s position. With minor adjustments to balance the argument and enhance the depth of analysis, it could achieve an even higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument that living in urban areas has more disadvantages than living in rural areas. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, and the body paragraphs each focus on a specific disadvantage: noise pollution and air quality. This logical progression helps the reader follow the argument. However, the transition between the two body paragraphs could be smoother; the connection between the issues could be more explicitly stated to enhance the overall flow.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider adding a transitional sentence at the end of the first body paragraph that hints at the next point. For example, you could say, "In addition to noise pollution, urban living also suffers from poor air quality, which further exacerbates the challenges faced by city dwellers." This would create a more cohesive link between the two points.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph dedicated to a specific disadvantage of urban living. The introduction and conclusion are also clearly defined, which aids in the overall structure. However, the second body paragraph could benefit from clearer topic sentences that directly relate to the main argument of the essay.
- How to improve: Strengthen the topic sentence of the second body paragraph to make it more impactful. For instance, instead of starting with "Furthermore, another acute drawback of living," you could say, "Another significant disadvantage of urban living is the poor air quality." This not only clarifies the focus of the paragraph but also reinforces the argument being made.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "To begin with," "Furthermore," and "As a consequence," which help to guide the reader through the argument. However, there are instances where the use of cohesive devices could be more varied. For example, the phrase "due to" is repeated multiple times, which can make the writing feel somewhat repetitive.
- How to improve: Diversify the cohesive devices by incorporating synonyms or alternative phrases. Instead of repeatedly using "due to," consider alternatives like "as a result of," "because of," or "stemming from." Additionally, using more advanced cohesive devices, such as "Moreover" or "In addition," can enhance the sophistication of the essay.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve an even higher level of coherence and cohesion, potentially moving closer to a Band 9 score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with terms such as "metropolitan areas," "noise pollution," and "hazardous pollutants" effectively conveying the writer’s points. However, there are instances where the vocabulary could be more varied. For example, the repeated use of "drawbacks" and "disadvantages" could be replaced with synonyms like "downsides," "challenges," or "negative aspects" to enhance lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should aim to incorporate a broader array of synonyms and related terms throughout the essay. For instance, instead of saying "notable downside," they could use "significant drawback" or "major concern." Engaging with a thesaurus or practicing with vocabulary exercises can help expand their lexical range.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains some precise vocabulary, such as "noise pollution" and "respiratory problems," which accurately describe the issues discussed. However, there are instances of imprecise usage, such as "the poor air quality due to the high concentration on vehicles." The phrase "high concentration on vehicles" could be more accurately expressed as "high concentration of vehicles" to convey the intended meaning clearly.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should review their sentences for clarity and correctness. They can practice rephrasing sentences to ensure that the vocabulary used accurately conveys their intended message. Additionally, reading high-quality essays can provide insights into precise vocabulary usage.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally displays good spelling, but there are a few errors that detract from the overall quality. For example, "departments" should be "apartments," and "effecting" should be "affecting." These errors indicate a need for careful proofreading.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should implement a proofreading strategy, such as reading the essay aloud or using spell-check tools. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words and practicing them can help reduce errors in future writing tasks.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of vocabulary, there are areas for improvement in lexical range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on expanding vocabulary, ensuring precise usage, and refining spelling skills, the writer can enhance their overall performance in the Lexical Resource criteria of the IELTS Task 2 essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences is evident in phrases such as "due to various disadvantages that have a profound impact on both individuals and society." Additionally, the essay employs a mix of simple and compound sentences, which helps maintain reader engagement. However, there are instances of repetitive sentence beginnings, such as starting multiple sentences with "the" or "another," which can detract from the overall variety.
- How to improve: To enhance the diversity of sentence structures, consider varying the sentence openings and incorporating more complex structures. For example, instead of starting sentences with "Another," you could use phrases like "In addition to this," or "Moreover," to introduce new ideas. Additionally, using relative clauses or participial phrases could add complexity and variety to your writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits good grammatical control, but there are notable errors that affect clarity and coherence. For example, the phrase "due to the high concentration on vehicles" should be "due to the high concentration of vehicles." Additionally, the use of "few chances" is incorrect in context; it should be "few opportunities." Punctuation is mostly accurate, but there are instances where commas are misused, such as in "emissions from cars, and trucks," where the comma before "and" is unnecessary.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, it is essential to proofread the essay for common errors and ensure that prepositions are used correctly. Practicing with grammar exercises focused on common pitfalls can also be beneficial. For punctuation, familiarize yourself with the rules governing comma usage, particularly in lists and compound sentences, to enhance clarity and coherence in your writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

In this day and age, there is a prevalent belief that residing in metropolitan areas presents more drawbacks than settling in rural areas. From my perspective, I strongly support this assertion due to various disadvantages that have a profound impact on both individuals and society. This essay will examine the several weaknesses of living in urban areas, shedding light on the pressures and problems that accompany modern urbanization.

To begin with, one notable downside of dwelling in urban regions is the noise pollution that poses a risk to one’s well-being due to the constant din of traffic, construction, and overcrowded roads. The noise extends beyond outdoor spaces, penetrating homes and workplaces, making it even more challenging for those seeking moments of relaxation and peace. As a result, because individuals are unable to fully relax and have limited opportunities to express negative emotions, they may experience anxiety, depression, and sleep disorders. In extreme cases, prolonged exposure to such irritating noise may also lead to hearing damage or other serious health complications, obstructing city dwellers from finding quiet spots for rest.

Furthermore, another acute drawback is the poor air quality resulting from high concentrations of emissions from vehicles, factories, and industrial activities. Emissions from cars and trucks contribute to the release of hazardous pollutants such as carbon monoxide and nitrogen dioxide, not only negatively affecting one’s well-being but also producing visible smog or haze, particularly on hot days. As a consequence, inhaling such poor air quality gives rise to numerous respiratory problems such as asthma, bronchitis, and lung cancer. However, the situation can be even more serious if individuals are exposed to air pollution for extended periods, especially vulnerable groups like children and the elderly. In addition, poor air quality can also extend beyond health issues, creating barriers to the well-being of future generations and contributing to global challenges such as climate change.

In conclusion, I wholeheartedly agree that living in cities causes a multitude of emerging issues, and metropolitan regions cannot surpass rural areas in terms of quality of life due to various reasons, including air pollution and excessive noise.